A most needed rant
I received an anonymous comment on ff.net this morning that really frustrated me. It was about chapter 9 of The Love-Philtre. The person didn’t appreciate that Sandor was pushing sex quite aggressively on Sansa in it and saying a few things that were, I’ll admit it, straight out macho. I can live with the fact and even genuinely understand that some readers might not like reading these kinds of dynamics and not agree with my Sandor portrayal but what frustrated me was that the person said, and I quote:
‘Woah, that thing with sandor saying about women was funked up. He's beyond out of character in my option.’
What really frustrated me is the use of ‘beyond’. Of course, they say IMO afterwards but it still really got on my nerves. Like, is there any place in canon where Sandor acts in any way that might suggest that he being a macho is beyond OOC? I’m sorry to say it but I really don’t think so. Of course, that doesn’t mean that he necessarily is since we don’t have many clues about his attitude towards sexes in canon and thus, I admit I could be wrong. Still, I think that my guess is very plausible given that Sandor lives in a medieval society and that as a warrior, apart from the noblemen and women he guards from afar, he is almost solely surrounded by men just as brutish as him. In a society as chauvinist as theirs, there’s absolutely no reason to believe these knights and men at arms would be more progressist than the word around them (usually with warriors, it’s even the opposite) and Sandor has been living among that crowd all his life. He’s bound to have been influenced in his views on women. Plus, as far as we know, he has only slept with whores so I really don’t see where he would have picked up his egalitarian vision of sexes from. Of course, we don’t know, perhaps he has been raised by his sister and thinks all rulers should be women based on his positive experience with her but so far, these sorts of ideas are only speculation.
Now about Sandor pushing sex on Sansa: I can understand some people might not like it and even be made uneasy by it. I also agree it’s not ok for any men to do it but really, even nowadays pushy men are far from rare! I’ve been pretty much coerced to agree to have sex for my first time and I’m sure many others of you have been also. It still happens all the time! So why should medieval-Sandor be better than those modern men? I understand that some readers might have preferred that he be different, do the right thing and say: “It’s all right. We’ll wait until you are ready,” but myself, I don’t buy it and prefer a harsher, more realistic vision than an idealised one.
After that, it’s just a question of taste and opinion since we all interpret canon differently. I’ve read fics where Sandor was less macho and pushy than in mines and still thought he was in character because the author’s vision fitted with canon. Canon is very vast and many different sorts of Sandors can be canon.
And that’s why I was so irked with the anonymous reviewer’s use of the word ‘beyond’. Like: you’re getting over yourself here. While you don’t have to agree with my vision, you still don’t have any proof that yours is more valuable than mine. Normally, I would have written back to the reviewer and told them my opinion directly instead of sharing my rant with all of you but ff.net don’t allow any reply to anonymous reviewers. And thus I decided to spill all my frustration here instead. Aaaah! I do feel better now so I hope you’ll forgive me for breaking your ears with my whining! :)
‘Woah, that thing with sandor saying about women was funked up. He's beyond out of character in my option.’
What really frustrated me is the use of ‘beyond’. Of course, they say IMO afterwards but it still really got on my nerves. Like, is there any place in canon where Sandor acts in any way that might suggest that he being a macho is beyond OOC? I’m sorry to say it but I really don’t think so. Of course, that doesn’t mean that he necessarily is since we don’t have many clues about his attitude towards sexes in canon and thus, I admit I could be wrong. Still, I think that my guess is very plausible given that Sandor lives in a medieval society and that as a warrior, apart from the noblemen and women he guards from afar, he is almost solely surrounded by men just as brutish as him. In a society as chauvinist as theirs, there’s absolutely no reason to believe these knights and men at arms would be more progressist than the word around them (usually with warriors, it’s even the opposite) and Sandor has been living among that crowd all his life. He’s bound to have been influenced in his views on women. Plus, as far as we know, he has only slept with whores so I really don’t see where he would have picked up his egalitarian vision of sexes from. Of course, we don’t know, perhaps he has been raised by his sister and thinks all rulers should be women based on his positive experience with her but so far, these sorts of ideas are only speculation.
Now about Sandor pushing sex on Sansa: I can understand some people might not like it and even be made uneasy by it. I also agree it’s not ok for any men to do it but really, even nowadays pushy men are far from rare! I’ve been pretty much coerced to agree to have sex for my first time and I’m sure many others of you have been also. It still happens all the time! So why should medieval-Sandor be better than those modern men? I understand that some readers might have preferred that he be different, do the right thing and say: “It’s all right. We’ll wait until you are ready,” but myself, I don’t buy it and prefer a harsher, more realistic vision than an idealised one.
After that, it’s just a question of taste and opinion since we all interpret canon differently. I’ve read fics where Sandor was less macho and pushy than in mines and still thought he was in character because the author’s vision fitted with canon. Canon is very vast and many different sorts of Sandors can be canon.
And that’s why I was so irked with the anonymous reviewer’s use of the word ‘beyond’. Like: you’re getting over yourself here. While you don’t have to agree with my vision, you still don’t have any proof that yours is more valuable than mine. Normally, I would have written back to the reviewer and told them my opinion directly instead of sharing my rant with all of you but ff.net don’t allow any reply to anonymous reviewers. And thus I decided to spill all my frustration here instead. Aaaah! I do feel better now so I hope you’ll forgive me for breaking your ears with my whining! :)