things I do in the bathroom (vulgar yet hilarious)
so, in ninth grade, i got this as an email from someone, i dont know who, and i thought it was so funny that i forwarded it to wendy. Every so often, we reminisce and laugh our heads off because of how funny we thought this was. go 9th graders!
1. I Stick my palm open under the stall wall and ask my neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
2.I say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. I Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. I Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. I Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
6. I Say "Damn, this water is cold."
7. I Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and I sigh relaxingly.
8. I Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. I Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. I Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of my neighbors while yelling,"Whoa ! Easy boy !!"
11. I Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, I spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of my neighbor. Then I say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. I Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
14. I Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. I Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. I Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on my butt cheeks.
17. Before I unroll toilet paper, I conspicuously lay down my "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. I Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so I can see my neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. I Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and I sing "Born Free"
1. I Stick my palm open under the stall wall and ask my neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"
2.I say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. I Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise
4. I Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. I Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
6. I Say "Damn, this water is cold."
7. I Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and I sigh relaxingly.
8. I Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. I Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. I Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of my neighbors while yelling,"Whoa ! Easy boy !!"
11. I Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, I spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of my neighbor. Then I say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. I Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
14. I Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. I Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. I Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on my butt cheeks.
17. Before I unroll toilet paper, I conspicuously lay down my "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. I Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so I can see my neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. I Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and I sing "Born Free"