Emotional Days- This Post Makes LIttle Sense
These days I seem to be more subject to emotions. Some days go along just fine until some small happening sends me down into a dark and miserable place. There's no expiration date to the bad mood, it doesn't go away until something else happens to bring me back up. The opposite can happen just as easily. Bad days can be flipped around by small occurrences; by seeing someone who makes me happy. Its embarrassing to admit, but my emotions have begun to revolve around Michelle; seeing her can make my day glow and seem like nothing can bring me down. Then there are the times when I see her having fun with her ex, and getting along so well. Those are the times that I can spiral down into a dismal mood that doesn't seem to lift. Ugh, being jealous makes me feel pathetic and petty and shallow and several other un-nameable but still negative adjectives. Horrible thoughts and suspicions race through my mind that are completely unfounded, except to give me a reason that Michelle shouldn't hang out with that other girl anymore. UGH, I'm turning into a monster.
It's not always fun to be on this emotional roller coaster, but I'd rather be on it. For roughly two years I actively kept emotions and feelings at bay. That wasn't healthy and was no way to live. I'll take this fast paced, irrational, rough emotional ride over the joyless, bland, and unmoving mindset of the past.
Oh yeah, funny moment of the Thanksgiving holiday: Mom totally saw me checking out a girl in the grocery store. Mmm... awkward and yet so funny. Since bringing Michelle to my sister's baby shower some family members have this expression when looking at me. It's like they're trying to figure me out and they've got the pieces but are reluctant to put them together properly. Very amusing, and kind of sad?
Hope this post made sense to someone.
It's not always fun to be on this emotional roller coaster, but I'd rather be on it. For roughly two years I actively kept emotions and feelings at bay. That wasn't healthy and was no way to live. I'll take this fast paced, irrational, rough emotional ride over the joyless, bland, and unmoving mindset of the past.
Oh yeah, funny moment of the Thanksgiving holiday: Mom totally saw me checking out a girl in the grocery store. Mmm... awkward and yet so funny. Since bringing Michelle to my sister's baby shower some family members have this expression when looking at me. It's like they're trying to figure me out and they've got the pieces but are reluctant to put them together properly. Very amusing, and kind of sad?
Hope this post made sense to someone.