Quick Update Before Bed
I'm sitting here in front of my computer listening to Rudy listen to talk radio in the bathroom. I swear he turns it up SO loud. And it's just not radio.. it's sports TALK radio. Their voices irk me. Like nails across a chalk board. Well, I guess it's fitting. Rudy doesn't stop talking so of course he would listen to a station that's just people talking too.
Work went well I guess. I had a TON of little things that kept me busy pretty much all day which of course is good. It makes my day go by faster.
I had a bit of a cry-baby moment last night though. I had one of those miss my mom things. In case you don't know my mom passed away when I was 15. A week before my 16th bday. Actually her funeral was a day before my 16th birthday. That my friends is shitty situation to be in but, you can only learn and get stronger from it right? Well, anyway I called my dad while I was in bed just to see how he was doing and right after I got off I had a WAVE of sadness and sickness of missing my mom. I don't care if I'm 16 or 66 I will ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS miss my mom. I can't explain it to people but, it's like a piece of me is missing. I don't always acknowledge it and pretend it's just ok but in all honestly it just hurts. She wont get to see me get married and didn't see me graduate from high school or isn't on my ass about the things moms usually are, like school or jobs or men. It's just what it is. It's sad and depressing and I usally just need to get it out of me once in a while and I guess last night was my time. I cried for about 30 minutes and then slept badly with thoughts keeping me up. But, I woke up and it was another day. What-a-ya know.
Ah, just another day in the life of me I guess...
Mom and me - circa 1981
Work went well I guess. I had a TON of little things that kept me busy pretty much all day which of course is good. It makes my day go by faster.
I had a bit of a cry-baby moment last night though. I had one of those miss my mom things. In case you don't know my mom passed away when I was 15. A week before my 16th bday. Actually her funeral was a day before my 16th birthday. That my friends is shitty situation to be in but, you can only learn and get stronger from it right? Well, anyway I called my dad while I was in bed just to see how he was doing and right after I got off I had a WAVE of sadness and sickness of missing my mom. I don't care if I'm 16 or 66 I will ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS miss my mom. I can't explain it to people but, it's like a piece of me is missing. I don't always acknowledge it and pretend it's just ok but in all honestly it just hurts. She wont get to see me get married and didn't see me graduate from high school or isn't on my ass about the things moms usually are, like school or jobs or men. It's just what it is. It's sad and depressing and I usally just need to get it out of me once in a while and I guess last night was my time. I cried for about 30 minutes and then slept badly with thoughts keeping me up. But, I woke up and it was another day. What-a-ya know.
Ah, just another day in the life of me I guess...
Mom and me - circa 1981