Found among my things
Some little--is drabble still a word?--found among my things. I should let Sylver know.
I have been around the world
Lookin’ for that woman, girl
Who knows love can endure
And you know it will
Corat was fully prepared to give Ryuki a piece of his mind. While he wasn’t clear on how romance felt he could certainly see how it worked, and for Ryuki and Sunae it worked like a Rube Goldberg machine-haltingly, randomly, and with needless complexity. Maybe he couldn’t figure it out, but he could help the younger man get it. He wasn’t prepared for what he would see.
Ryuki, aware that a Big Talk was coming, demanded it take place in his comfort zone. In this case he had the luxury of his ultimate comfort zone, one most people didn’t know about. He hired a boat and a discreet pilot and had her sail it out to open waters, “her” on the off-chance they’d need a woman’s perspective, in addition to her being the best available sailor on the island that day. So they sailed, and they talked.
“Certainly you’ve been in love.”
“No, I told you. I was,” he hesitated, added a qualifier, “doing pilgrimages for so long, we didn’t want to risk playing favorites or objectifying, so…”
“’We’. You sure about that?”
Corat grunted and realized the significance of the place-celestial silence.
“Let’s leave ‘we’ out of this and talk about you. How many times have you been in love?”
A skeptical look.
“It doesn’t have to be sexual, you know. Hugs, sleeping on someone’s shoulder, trusting someone with secrets…” Ryuki watches Corat’s stomach churn on that one. “Yes you have, you’ve loved and lost. How many times?”
It was an odd question, and he’d never thought about the answer. Was this kind of love exclusive? Had he been unfaithful? “I don’t know.”
“But at least once.”
“Once, for certain.”
“For what it’s worth, she’s never forgotten you. Angry at you, sure, but still thinks about you. That’s a kind of love, believe it or not, but not a comforting kind. It’s what Sunae and I could become if I did it wrong.”
“Leila?”
“If I’d done it extra super special wrong, and there was no Grace.” It was an interesting pun, but he let it sit.
The two of them sailed in silence for a little while, enjoying the spectacle of the Hawaiian sunset. Finally Corat broke the silence.
“So many different kinds of love.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Some who love you but won’t speak to you.”
“It’s called unrequited. You can’t spend your energy on it.”
Corat folded his hands as though in prayer and then steeples them to show his irritation.
“Yes, I know.” Ryuki would have to tread very lightly on this subject, an angel’s love of God. “He’s only silent for now, let his archangels do the talking for him and they’re not perfect by any means. I’m not even going to speculate where love is in all that. But look closer instead. Who do you love?”
“Rinael.” It was like a confession.
“I know. But closer even. Marty? Kevin? Me?” He got suddenly coy. What if the answer…?
“That’s love?”
“You know any Greek?”
“I see your point.”
“Now-I don’t need names, mind you-think of someone even closer than that. I know your past is pretty foggy, but can you think of anyone?”
The memories were dim, to be sure, and maddeningly just out of reach. Corat was aware of such people in his very long life but most of them he couldn’t define, couldn’t bring their faces into focus, couldn’t remember names, but he knew they were there. Surely there hadn’t been that many of them, surely his mind was exaggerating that. Surely his heart hadn’t been given to so many and been broken by so many, only to jump back in and love again. Surely…
Ryuki scooted over in their seat and held his old friend for a much needed cry.
I have been around the world
Lookin’ for that woman, girl
Who knows love can endure
And you know it will
Corat was fully prepared to give Ryuki a piece of his mind. While he wasn’t clear on how romance felt he could certainly see how it worked, and for Ryuki and Sunae it worked like a Rube Goldberg machine-haltingly, randomly, and with needless complexity. Maybe he couldn’t figure it out, but he could help the younger man get it. He wasn’t prepared for what he would see.
Ryuki, aware that a Big Talk was coming, demanded it take place in his comfort zone. In this case he had the luxury of his ultimate comfort zone, one most people didn’t know about. He hired a boat and a discreet pilot and had her sail it out to open waters, “her” on the off-chance they’d need a woman’s perspective, in addition to her being the best available sailor on the island that day. So they sailed, and they talked.
“Certainly you’ve been in love.”
“No, I told you. I was,” he hesitated, added a qualifier, “doing pilgrimages for so long, we didn’t want to risk playing favorites or objectifying, so…”
“’We’. You sure about that?”
Corat grunted and realized the significance of the place-celestial silence.
“Let’s leave ‘we’ out of this and talk about you. How many times have you been in love?”
A skeptical look.
“It doesn’t have to be sexual, you know. Hugs, sleeping on someone’s shoulder, trusting someone with secrets…” Ryuki watches Corat’s stomach churn on that one. “Yes you have, you’ve loved and lost. How many times?”
It was an odd question, and he’d never thought about the answer. Was this kind of love exclusive? Had he been unfaithful? “I don’t know.”
“But at least once.”
“Once, for certain.”
“For what it’s worth, she’s never forgotten you. Angry at you, sure, but still thinks about you. That’s a kind of love, believe it or not, but not a comforting kind. It’s what Sunae and I could become if I did it wrong.”
“Leila?”
“If I’d done it extra super special wrong, and there was no Grace.” It was an interesting pun, but he let it sit.
The two of them sailed in silence for a little while, enjoying the spectacle of the Hawaiian sunset. Finally Corat broke the silence.
“So many different kinds of love.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Some who love you but won’t speak to you.”
“It’s called unrequited. You can’t spend your energy on it.”
Corat folded his hands as though in prayer and then steeples them to show his irritation.
“Yes, I know.” Ryuki would have to tread very lightly on this subject, an angel’s love of God. “He’s only silent for now, let his archangels do the talking for him and they’re not perfect by any means. I’m not even going to speculate where love is in all that. But look closer instead. Who do you love?”
“Rinael.” It was like a confession.
“I know. But closer even. Marty? Kevin? Me?” He got suddenly coy. What if the answer…?
“That’s love?”
“You know any Greek?”
“I see your point.”
“Now-I don’t need names, mind you-think of someone even closer than that. I know your past is pretty foggy, but can you think of anyone?”
The memories were dim, to be sure, and maddeningly just out of reach. Corat was aware of such people in his very long life but most of them he couldn’t define, couldn’t bring their faces into focus, couldn’t remember names, but he knew they were there. Surely there hadn’t been that many of them, surely his mind was exaggerating that. Surely his heart hadn’t been given to so many and been broken by so many, only to jump back in and love again. Surely…
Ryuki scooted over in their seat and held his old friend for a much needed cry.