Strangers in the night
Title : Strangers in the night
Author : marnidoo
Member : Kikwang
Pairing : slight!Kiseung, implied!Junseung, implied!Kiwoon, hints of DooSeob.
Rating : pg-13
Genre : Angst
Summary : Kikwang is cold and spends all his nights with strangers hoping he would feel something again.
Notes : I don't even know why I wrote that except that I needed to get the bathroom scene out of my head in order to do my homeworks properly. I don't know what genre it really is... Anyway! Enjoy if you can :)
Strangers in the night
He waited for his eyes to get accustomed to the darkness before attempting a move, he didn’t want to wake up the immobile silhouette beside him. He stared at what he guessed is her direction and wondered how he could be that cold when her naked body was laying so near. He didn’t expect to find an answer though, it was always that way. Slowly, he slipped out of the bed and started to look for his clothes. During the last months he became a pro when it came to get out of a house without a word at dawn. He mentally patted himself on the back while he tip-toed to exit the room but his blood ran cold when he heard the ruffling of sheets. He stopped in his track as the light was turned on.
‘It’s early, you can stay longer baby’ the voice said softly. He chuckled and looked above his shoulder, giving her a stern look.
‘Don’t call me that, you’re not that stupid’ and he left the room before she could say anything else. The door closed and he walked down the street, he barely remembered where he was and he lit on a cigarette. He started to smoke a while ago without any reason, it kept his hands and mind busy, that was all. He wandered around for a while, refusing to go back home. He had been in ‘vacations’ for the last six months or so, because his boss thought he needed some time. As if time could make anything better. On the other hand, he didn’t feel like working, actually he didn’t feel like anything except hanging out in night clubs and drink until he forgot why he was drinking in the first place.
Suddenly, he realized his feet are leading him into a familiar street, he was in a well-known place this time. He stopped to stare at a little residential building. After a few minutes he made his mind and headed to the front door, fishing in his pocket for his keys. He found the one he needed and opened the door carefully as if he expected someone to jump on him or something, but when he was assured that the apartment was empty he fully pushed open the door and stepped inside. The coats and shoes weren’t in the entrance hall which meant he was right, they weren’t home. He was slightly sad, he would have liked to see them. He shrugged the thought off and headed to the bathroom, his chest tightened with an uncomfortable feeling when he walked past a framed picture. The four of them were smiling brightly and everything seemed perfect. He couldn’t get his eyes off of his own smile. He hated the guy on this picture for he was all he couldn’t be any longer. This guy had all he was now craving for, knowing he won’t ever have it back. The only reason for which he hated this picture was that it was only a picture, a cruel reminder of what they were, because now they were only three, two plus him. Because now he was one, alone.
He quickly showered and went to the bedroom looking through their wardrobe. It took him some time to find something that fitted him between his best friend’s V-neck t-shirts too lose on his own shoulders and his boyfriend’s skinny pants that couldn’t allow his thighs in. He scribbled a note near to the phone before getting out.
Used my extra key I needed a shower. Thanks for the clothes.
See ya, Kikwang
He knew they wouldn’t mind so he didn’t bother to explain. Even if they would mind, they’d never tell him. Lately, they used to treat him as if he’d break into millions of little pieces if someone was harsh with him. He couldn’t blame them for worrying but they should know that they couldn’t break him more than he already was anyway. Of course he refused to admit it to himself and was nothing close to tell his best friends something like this.
Once again he was walking without aim, just staring at the pavement under his feet. He didn’t pay attention to the day slowly passing by, he only waited for night to come again, allowing him to head to a random night club. When night finally came, he quickly ate and while walking down town, he lit up his tenth cigarette of the day. He frowned. Usually he doesn’t smoke that much, but then again this day had been particularly hard to kill. By that time he had reached the front door of a night club and he reluctantly threw his favorite vice in the ash tray by the door, knowing he was about to meet with his as loved other vice. Alcohol. He sat down in a booth and ordered his usual drink several times until he knew he was too far gone to even bother the taste, and then ordered any drink with a catchy name. While sipping his drink he was looking in the direction of the dance-floor absent-mindedly until someone caught his eyes. He downed his glass and stood up slowly, waiting for regaining his balance before walking heavily through the room. He reached the dance floor and placed himself just behind the male who caught his attention from afar. The said man suddenly stopped dancing, startled by the other’ s move, but as the dancer started to step away from him, his arm snaked around the slightly taller male’s waist and pulled their bodies closer. The stranger seemed to give in and he was now whispering nonsense into a ear while blond curly hair tickled his left cheek and the tip of his nose.
After a while during which he had said all the crap that could possibly cross his mind he decided that he was done playing. Action was needed. He lifted his head looking around frenetically and a smirk settled on his lips when his look fell on the door he was looking for. His fingers closed on the dancer’s wrist and he silently lead him into the bathroom. In there, the light was different, more aggressive, all in all unpleasant. He looked for an available stall and pushed the other male inside before kicking the door closed behind him as he lips were already devouring the other’ s. His fingers made their way under the soft fabric of a white t-shirt but were suddenly stopped by a shaking hand. He stepped back glaring at (he just realized he was looking at him for the first time with real light) the doe-eyed boy who bit his lip, he seemed uncomfortable. He wasn’t in the mood for playing the soft-and-lovely card but he didn’t want to get out there and look for someone else to spend the night with, plus this one was beautiful. He leaned closer and lifted his hand when a phone vibrated, not his. The sound vanished as fast as it began but the phone’s owner didn’t seem to care so he resumed his action, his hand was now resting on the dancer’s cheek, stroking gently and he leaned even closer, kissing the tip of the other’ s nose making his heart skip a beat. He was good at it, he knew it. When his mind was made, when his pray was found, he would always win. He noticed the boy relaxed and he pinned him up against the wall, his lips brushed against the ear again. ‘Don’t worry’ he said softly before biting on the earlobe winning a moan in the process. Their make-out session was on again, this time his hands could freely run on the other’ s soft skin. He started to bite on the flawless skin along the neck when two hands fell on his chest slightly pushing him away, and the phone vibrated again. He groaned, starting to get seriously pissed off. The other ran his hand to his neck, fidgeting the skin as if to make sure there weren’t any marks yet. He eyed the dancer exasperatedly and shoved his right hand in the tight jean’s front pocket taking the phone out. The dancer’s eyes grew wide but before he could make any move and have his phone back, the device was already flipped open.
2 new messages
From : Junnie~ <3
Where u at?
He pressed the bottom button.
From : Junnie~ <3
I’m sorry, please come home already
That explained the hesitation. Everyone isn’t necessarily good at this game, he thought. He shook his head, he didn’t want to be part of that. He handed the phone back to its owner and re buckled the dancer’s belt he barely remembered he had undone.
‘Don’t be stupid’ he said and his hands left the cold metal buckle. ‘You’d regret it’ he added in a low voice and the dancer failed at repressing a sob he had probably been holding for a while; he grabbed his t-shirt on the floor, shoved it above his head and left the bathroom without a word.
He let out a sigh. He was too tired to go and look for company again and decided it was time to go home.
It’s been a week since he last went to the tiny apartment. He stepped into the cold room, not bothering to switch on the light. The first thing he did was hurry into the bathroom to have a shower. Even when the hot water was running down his body he still felt cold, even freezing. Not that he had goosebumps or shivers, he just felt it. He quickly headed to the bedroom. He crawled into bed, sinking under the blanket. He couldn’t keep his mind away of the awkward feeling growing in his stomach, gripping tight around his chest; each time he slept in this bed it was the same, he was suffocating. The only thing he could do, the only remedy he had was neatly resting on his night stand. He reached for the small packet and rolled the cigarette between his fingers. He smiled when he realized he was wondering if this would be the eleventh or the first of the next day. Not that he really cared and he lit it up slowly breathing in. The funny thing was that when he smoked he was breathing. He could see it, each time the smoke slipped out of his lips, he knew he was. When he made love to some stranger met in a bar, when he was sweating and panting, then he could feel his heart beat, pounding into his ears because of the effort, that sound meant he was alive, he learned it.
But on night like this, he couldn’t be sure of anything. No one was there to help him make sure his heart was still beating; in the darkness he could barely see the smoke escaping from his lips attesting he was still breathing. On night like this he remembered that no matter how good he was at playing and lying to himself, this heart beat or breathing were only mechanics. He turned his head to look at the frame on the night stand, he couldn’t see it without light but he didn’t need to, he knew it too well. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and whispered.
‘Night, Woonie’ and he fell on his back, the butt met his lips again.
On night like this, he remembered he was already dead inside.
A/N: It’s a bit rushed. I don’t seem to be able to get out of this busy routine I’ve been living in those past few weeks. Actually I’m impressed (but happy) I find time to come on LJ and read some fics once in a while :)
Regarding Mending broken hearts, I’m not back on happy fluff mode yet but I’ll try to update this week anyway (if school and all isn’t too harsh on me ><)
I apologize for those who read and like that story so far and probably wish to read the end. I’m sorry :(
Author : marnidoo
Member : Kikwang
Pairing : slight!Kiseung, implied!Junseung, implied!Kiwoon, hints of DooSeob.
Rating : pg-13
Genre : Angst
Summary : Kikwang is cold and spends all his nights with strangers hoping he would feel something again.
Notes : I don't even know why I wrote that except that I needed to get the bathroom scene out of my head in order to do my homeworks properly. I don't know what genre it really is... Anyway! Enjoy if you can :)
Strangers in the night
He waited for his eyes to get accustomed to the darkness before attempting a move, he didn’t want to wake up the immobile silhouette beside him. He stared at what he guessed is her direction and wondered how he could be that cold when her naked body was laying so near. He didn’t expect to find an answer though, it was always that way. Slowly, he slipped out of the bed and started to look for his clothes. During the last months he became a pro when it came to get out of a house without a word at dawn. He mentally patted himself on the back while he tip-toed to exit the room but his blood ran cold when he heard the ruffling of sheets. He stopped in his track as the light was turned on.
‘It’s early, you can stay longer baby’ the voice said softly. He chuckled and looked above his shoulder, giving her a stern look.
‘Don’t call me that, you’re not that stupid’ and he left the room before she could say anything else. The door closed and he walked down the street, he barely remembered where he was and he lit on a cigarette. He started to smoke a while ago without any reason, it kept his hands and mind busy, that was all. He wandered around for a while, refusing to go back home. He had been in ‘vacations’ for the last six months or so, because his boss thought he needed some time. As if time could make anything better. On the other hand, he didn’t feel like working, actually he didn’t feel like anything except hanging out in night clubs and drink until he forgot why he was drinking in the first place.
Suddenly, he realized his feet are leading him into a familiar street, he was in a well-known place this time. He stopped to stare at a little residential building. After a few minutes he made his mind and headed to the front door, fishing in his pocket for his keys. He found the one he needed and opened the door carefully as if he expected someone to jump on him or something, but when he was assured that the apartment was empty he fully pushed open the door and stepped inside. The coats and shoes weren’t in the entrance hall which meant he was right, they weren’t home. He was slightly sad, he would have liked to see them. He shrugged the thought off and headed to the bathroom, his chest tightened with an uncomfortable feeling when he walked past a framed picture. The four of them were smiling brightly and everything seemed perfect. He couldn’t get his eyes off of his own smile. He hated the guy on this picture for he was all he couldn’t be any longer. This guy had all he was now craving for, knowing he won’t ever have it back. The only reason for which he hated this picture was that it was only a picture, a cruel reminder of what they were, because now they were only three, two plus him. Because now he was one, alone.
He quickly showered and went to the bedroom looking through their wardrobe. It took him some time to find something that fitted him between his best friend’s V-neck t-shirts too lose on his own shoulders and his boyfriend’s skinny pants that couldn’t allow his thighs in. He scribbled a note near to the phone before getting out.
Used my extra key I needed a shower. Thanks for the clothes.
See ya, Kikwang
He knew they wouldn’t mind so he didn’t bother to explain. Even if they would mind, they’d never tell him. Lately, they used to treat him as if he’d break into millions of little pieces if someone was harsh with him. He couldn’t blame them for worrying but they should know that they couldn’t break him more than he already was anyway. Of course he refused to admit it to himself and was nothing close to tell his best friends something like this.
Once again he was walking without aim, just staring at the pavement under his feet. He didn’t pay attention to the day slowly passing by, he only waited for night to come again, allowing him to head to a random night club. When night finally came, he quickly ate and while walking down town, he lit up his tenth cigarette of the day. He frowned. Usually he doesn’t smoke that much, but then again this day had been particularly hard to kill. By that time he had reached the front door of a night club and he reluctantly threw his favorite vice in the ash tray by the door, knowing he was about to meet with his as loved other vice. Alcohol. He sat down in a booth and ordered his usual drink several times until he knew he was too far gone to even bother the taste, and then ordered any drink with a catchy name. While sipping his drink he was looking in the direction of the dance-floor absent-mindedly until someone caught his eyes. He downed his glass and stood up slowly, waiting for regaining his balance before walking heavily through the room. He reached the dance floor and placed himself just behind the male who caught his attention from afar. The said man suddenly stopped dancing, startled by the other’ s move, but as the dancer started to step away from him, his arm snaked around the slightly taller male’s waist and pulled their bodies closer. The stranger seemed to give in and he was now whispering nonsense into a ear while blond curly hair tickled his left cheek and the tip of his nose.
After a while during which he had said all the crap that could possibly cross his mind he decided that he was done playing. Action was needed. He lifted his head looking around frenetically and a smirk settled on his lips when his look fell on the door he was looking for. His fingers closed on the dancer’s wrist and he silently lead him into the bathroom. In there, the light was different, more aggressive, all in all unpleasant. He looked for an available stall and pushed the other male inside before kicking the door closed behind him as he lips were already devouring the other’ s. His fingers made their way under the soft fabric of a white t-shirt but were suddenly stopped by a shaking hand. He stepped back glaring at (he just realized he was looking at him for the first time with real light) the doe-eyed boy who bit his lip, he seemed uncomfortable. He wasn’t in the mood for playing the soft-and-lovely card but he didn’t want to get out there and look for someone else to spend the night with, plus this one was beautiful. He leaned closer and lifted his hand when a phone vibrated, not his. The sound vanished as fast as it began but the phone’s owner didn’t seem to care so he resumed his action, his hand was now resting on the dancer’s cheek, stroking gently and he leaned even closer, kissing the tip of the other’ s nose making his heart skip a beat. He was good at it, he knew it. When his mind was made, when his pray was found, he would always win. He noticed the boy relaxed and he pinned him up against the wall, his lips brushed against the ear again. ‘Don’t worry’ he said softly before biting on the earlobe winning a moan in the process. Their make-out session was on again, this time his hands could freely run on the other’ s soft skin. He started to bite on the flawless skin along the neck when two hands fell on his chest slightly pushing him away, and the phone vibrated again. He groaned, starting to get seriously pissed off. The other ran his hand to his neck, fidgeting the skin as if to make sure there weren’t any marks yet. He eyed the dancer exasperatedly and shoved his right hand in the tight jean’s front pocket taking the phone out. The dancer’s eyes grew wide but before he could make any move and have his phone back, the device was already flipped open.
2 new messages
From : Junnie~ <3
Where u at?
He pressed the bottom button.
From : Junnie~ <3
I’m sorry, please come home already
That explained the hesitation. Everyone isn’t necessarily good at this game, he thought. He shook his head, he didn’t want to be part of that. He handed the phone back to its owner and re buckled the dancer’s belt he barely remembered he had undone.
‘Don’t be stupid’ he said and his hands left the cold metal buckle. ‘You’d regret it’ he added in a low voice and the dancer failed at repressing a sob he had probably been holding for a while; he grabbed his t-shirt on the floor, shoved it above his head and left the bathroom without a word.
He let out a sigh. He was too tired to go and look for company again and decided it was time to go home.
It’s been a week since he last went to the tiny apartment. He stepped into the cold room, not bothering to switch on the light. The first thing he did was hurry into the bathroom to have a shower. Even when the hot water was running down his body he still felt cold, even freezing. Not that he had goosebumps or shivers, he just felt it. He quickly headed to the bedroom. He crawled into bed, sinking under the blanket. He couldn’t keep his mind away of the awkward feeling growing in his stomach, gripping tight around his chest; each time he slept in this bed it was the same, he was suffocating. The only thing he could do, the only remedy he had was neatly resting on his night stand. He reached for the small packet and rolled the cigarette between his fingers. He smiled when he realized he was wondering if this would be the eleventh or the first of the next day. Not that he really cared and he lit it up slowly breathing in. The funny thing was that when he smoked he was breathing. He could see it, each time the smoke slipped out of his lips, he knew he was. When he made love to some stranger met in a bar, when he was sweating and panting, then he could feel his heart beat, pounding into his ears because of the effort, that sound meant he was alive, he learned it.
But on night like this, he couldn’t be sure of anything. No one was there to help him make sure his heart was still beating; in the darkness he could barely see the smoke escaping from his lips attesting he was still breathing. On night like this he remembered that no matter how good he was at playing and lying to himself, this heart beat or breathing were only mechanics. He turned his head to look at the frame on the night stand, he couldn’t see it without light but he didn’t need to, he knew it too well. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and whispered.
‘Night, Woonie’ and he fell on his back, the butt met his lips again.
On night like this, he remembered he was already dead inside.
A/N: It’s a bit rushed. I don’t seem to be able to get out of this busy routine I’ve been living in those past few weeks. Actually I’m impressed (but happy) I find time to come on LJ and read some fics once in a while :)
Regarding Mending broken hearts, I’m not back on happy fluff mode yet but I’ll try to update this week anyway (if school and all isn’t too harsh on me ><)
I apologize for those who read and like that story so far and probably wish to read the end. I’m sorry :(