Y’ dawn-flavoured, dream-faced excuse for a field of butterflies
Whistler: Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's piss.
(silence)
Whistler: It was one of Wilde's! One of Wilde's!
Oscar: It sodding was not! It was Shaw!
Shaw: I ... I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.
~~
I am not so good with the insults. Angry I can manage; insults not so much. They just don't come trippingly off my tongue, and I have enormous respect for people who can snap off a good one, or better still a witty one. I don't necessarily want to be around a good insulter, but they're fun to watch from a distance.
So I've tried to simplify things for myself and come up with some assemble-your-own phrases to assist me in my handicapped attempt to insult someone with a bit of style. These include:
Pus-filled
Piss-handed
Goat-eyed (Basically anything with pus, piss, or goats seems to make a good insult.)
Choke-nut
Goggle-eyed
Shovel-headed
Orange-faced
Jack-kneed
Saw-backed
Scrape-toothed
Candle-toed (Don't ask me where this one came from, it just seems to work.)
Hammer-lipped
Anvil-tongued
Sledge-eyed
Cack-handed
Examples would include--
"Y' piss-handed son of a cankerous goat"
"Y’ pus-filled, gag-headed excuse for a vomitous pigsty".
An example of an insult gone wrong would be--
"Y’ dawn-flavoured, dream-faced excuse for a field of butterflies".