Not fun stuff
Tom's father has cancer.
We found out Sunday night and it's only just starting to sink in for me. Tom hasn't said much at all about it, and I'm letting him sort through it all at his own pace, but truthfully, it doesn't look too great.
He had cancer before - about fifteen years ago, by my best reckoning. He didn't inform his family about it at all until he was well into remission, and that fact has always rubbed Tom the wrong way. This time we all know, but probably only because he had to ask Tammy (Tom's sister) for money to help pay for some medicine, and she demanded an explanation. He's unemployed, you see, with no insurance and very little money. That might make it much worse.
The cancer is in his stomach (as it was before) as well as his liver. I don't know much of anything about it, so I Googled it. According to Wikepedia, stomach cancer is sort of a grim diagnosis in part because the symptoms are very easy to miss. Most people don't realize they're sick until it's already pretty far gone. Added to that, chemotherapy doesn't work so well on it. It also said that, once it's spread to other organs, it's usually in a very advanced stage where very little can be done.
I don't know how this applies to my father-in-law. He's very close-mouthed about things, so Tammy didn't get any word from him about the doctor's prognosis. We don't even know how long he's known, except that he's had only one round of chemo so far. It was enough to make him lose all of his hair.
As I mentioned before, Tom has hardly said a word about this. I don't know what to do. On the one hand, it's usually best for me to wait until he comes to me with his feelings about important stuff. On the other, I don't want him to think I don't care enough to say anything, either. I certainly can't tell him about the Wikipedia article - I'm not going to introduce that kind of information if he's not ready to hear it.
I'm thinking I might do some deep browsing on the American Cancer Society website. There has to be some organization out there that will help with the money. Maybe if I can get him enrolled in some kind of assistance program, that might be the best opening for Tom and me to talk about it.
For now I'm going to go to sleep. I don't want to think of it any more. I don't want to wonder if Moira will ever get to know this grandfather. I certainly don't want to think about seeing Tom through that kind of loss. :(
This entry was originally posted on my Dreamwidth account. Please come visit me there! ♥ OrdinaryAngela (marmalade-girl)
We found out Sunday night and it's only just starting to sink in for me. Tom hasn't said much at all about it, and I'm letting him sort through it all at his own pace, but truthfully, it doesn't look too great.
He had cancer before - about fifteen years ago, by my best reckoning. He didn't inform his family about it at all until he was well into remission, and that fact has always rubbed Tom the wrong way. This time we all know, but probably only because he had to ask Tammy (Tom's sister) for money to help pay for some medicine, and she demanded an explanation. He's unemployed, you see, with no insurance and very little money. That might make it much worse.
The cancer is in his stomach (as it was before) as well as his liver. I don't know much of anything about it, so I Googled it. According to Wikepedia, stomach cancer is sort of a grim diagnosis in part because the symptoms are very easy to miss. Most people don't realize they're sick until it's already pretty far gone. Added to that, chemotherapy doesn't work so well on it. It also said that, once it's spread to other organs, it's usually in a very advanced stage where very little can be done.
I don't know how this applies to my father-in-law. He's very close-mouthed about things, so Tammy didn't get any word from him about the doctor's prognosis. We don't even know how long he's known, except that he's had only one round of chemo so far. It was enough to make him lose all of his hair.
As I mentioned before, Tom has hardly said a word about this. I don't know what to do. On the one hand, it's usually best for me to wait until he comes to me with his feelings about important stuff. On the other, I don't want him to think I don't care enough to say anything, either. I certainly can't tell him about the Wikipedia article - I'm not going to introduce that kind of information if he's not ready to hear it.
I'm thinking I might do some deep browsing on the American Cancer Society website. There has to be some organization out there that will help with the money. Maybe if I can get him enrolled in some kind of assistance program, that might be the best opening for Tom and me to talk about it.
For now I'm going to go to sleep. I don't want to think of it any more. I don't want to wonder if Moira will ever get to know this grandfather. I certainly don't want to think about seeing Tom through that kind of loss. :(
This entry was originally posted on my Dreamwidth account. Please come visit me there! ♥ OrdinaryAngela (marmalade-girl)