TDC!fic
Seriously, don't click if you haven't read Covenant. Spoilers are bad.
Name: Circle
Pairing: Uh, hints of Seb/Jamie and Jamie/Gerald but nothing serious
Rating: PG
Thanks to altogetherisi for reading through it and r_hayburn for betaing
Jamie never thought London would be easy. He hadn't made
it a secret where his allegiances lay, and if anyone forgot then the mark burnt
into his face was as good a reminder as any.
But he knew his own weaknesses and he knew how they could
be used against him - better now than ever. So he ran through London and
scratched at the mark with his fingernails as though he'd spent all night
trying to get it off. He tore his shirt and messed up his hair and stood in the
middle of the millennium bridge shouting Gerald's name, not looking at the
people staring at him.
Gerald would say not looking at the humans, with
that slight curl of his lip that meant he thought he was better. Knew he was
better. Jamie would have to learn to be the same.
Gerald didn't come. Jamie stood there for half an hour,
then sat there - in the middle of the bridge and the crowds - for another
three.
People had stopped and asked him if he was trying to make
a point about something. They'd touched his shoulder in a kindly way and told
him that his point had probably been made and he should go home. He hadn't known
if the magicians were watching, so he'd just said "I'm trying. I made a
mistake," over and over, each one more convincing than the last.
Then Seb was walking towards him across the bridge.
Gerald - Jamie had noticed - kept his head high so he wouldn't have to deign to
look a human in the eye. Seb kept his eyes firmly on the ground, as though he
couldn't bring himself to look. Jamie stood up, standing at the edge of the
bridge so that when Seb raised his head all he saw was Jamie and the river. Seb
held out a hand, a gesture of solidarity and friendship, nothing Jamie wanted
from him.
His fingers were clenched around the knife in his pocket.
He hadn't let go of it since Nick had given it to him. He didn't want to use it
- didn't think he could use it - but it was there, it was a reminder. He should
let go of it, take Seb's hand and let himself be led away, but his fingers
wouldn't obey him.
"Where's Gerald?" he asked, trying to make his
voice soften on the name. Trying to think of the sandy-haired man who comforted
him and told him it would be okay, not the magician who marked and tortured
Alan.
Seb thrust his untouched hand into his pocket. He glanced
sideways - where a young woman with two small children was watching Jamie with
some concern - winced, and looked back at the bridge beneath them. "He's
not... they're not coming. They told me not to come." His eyes flicked up
to Jamie's face and down again. Jamie had always wondered what it would be like
for someone to have a crush on him, he'd never thought it would be like this.
"Gerald... Gerald believes in you, he always has but... Celeste thinks
Annab - your mum was the final straw. She thinks you're here to spy on
us." His eyes flashed up again, this time settling on the demon mark on
Jamie's cheek. "She thinks you made your choice."
Jamie swallowed and thought I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. "Gerald
was right about Annabel," he lied. "I was... I was wrong about
everything and..." he reached up to touch the mark on his face and tried
to think about giving in. "And I need more. He was right about
Annabel and he was right about everything and I need..." He tore his hand
from the knife, though it's shape might've ended up permanently engraved into
his skin, and grabbed Seb's shoulders desperately with both hands. "You have
to, Gerald has to. He said... he said all kind of things and he was right. He
was right, and he said there would always be a place for me in his
Circle."
Seb looked nervous and excited and worried and sick all
at the same time. "She would never have understood," Seb said,
meaning Annabel. He raised his own hands, resting rough calloused palms on top
of Jamie's hands and he had never hit Jamie. Never actually hit him. "She
was only human."
Jamie thought maybe he could hit Seb. For an instant he
thought maybe he could kill Seb. There was an enchanted knife in his pocket and
Annabel had died for his freedom. But he wasn't doing this because he wanted
to. "I left them," he said, letting his anger bleed through because
anger was just anger, after all. "I left Mae with Nick. She didn't
understand, and she could never understand, but she was my sister... and
now you're telling me no one's coming." He was still holding Seb's
shoulders and he shook them now, wondering if he should break down crying and
whether, when he started, he would ever be able to stop. "I need Gerald. I
need the... my people. I need a circle."
Seb nodded, comprehension and empathy breaking into his
face. "And the demons... you're okay with the demons?"
Jamie shook his head then nodded then shook his head
again. "No, I mean yes. I mean... I just need power and like you were
saying, like Gerald was saying." He couldn't look into Seb's eyes. He
couldn't look at anyone because this was not him and he shouldn't be saying
this. "As long as they're alone. As long as no one will miss them I
could... I can try." He pulled his hands out from under Seb to turn
away self-consciously but really so he could close his fingers back around the
enchanted knife and remember that there were people waiting for him. He
swallowed and didn't look back at Seb and kept holding back the tears from
Annabel's death because she deserved better than to be mourned here for Jamie's
own ends.
Seb touched his shoulder uncertainly, as though he wasn't
sure if he was allowed. He wasn't but Jamie couldn't say that.
"I'll call Gerald."
Jamie would normally tell some sort of joke about now.
But he didn't think either he or the character he was playing would be really
in the mood. "Please."
Gerald arrived ten minutes later, walking towards Jamie
as though no one else existed. He didn't so much as glance sideways at Seb, who
was watching him with the expression of a puppy, unsure if it's going to
receive a treat or a kick.
"Jamie," Gerald said, his mouth twisting in a
not-quite smile. Of course, he'd lost today too. Jamie let the knife slide from
his hands so he could hold them both out and tried not to think about coming
home. "It was the only way," Gerald told him, gentle and sincere.
"But for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
In the face of Gerald's seemingly-genuine kindness all
Jamie could do was shake his head and not cry. He told himself over and over
that it would be okay as long as he didn't cry. "You didn't know
her."
Gerald touched his shoulder gently and Jamie hated that a
large part of him still wanted to kiss the magician. "But you did."
His fingers hovered over the demons mark and for an instant his expression was
twisted with disgust. Then it was gone and he was smiling again. "And
you're part of my circle."
For a moment Jamie panicked, jerking away and touching
his chest because surely he would know. Surely Gerald couldn't just mark
him without asking, without permission. "I don't understand."
Gerald reached out to touch the same spot with a rueful
half-smile. "It's not about the sigil, Jamie. It's not about the sigil or
the magic or the demons. It's about the family." He reached out and pulled
Jamie into a hug, his arms warm and familiar. "So," he said. "Do
you want to join our family?"
And Jamie lost control of his tears, his body shaking
slightly from sobs as Gerald rocked him back and forward. He could feel the
magic curving around them, a small charm of privacy so no one would look their
way and he could just... let go. "I'm scared," he whispered, though
he wasn't sure what of. Scared of failing, scared of losing Mae, scared of
making the wrong choices. Mostly, scared of how easy it was just being here.
"You've let them tame you," Gerald said.
"Let them beat you down and tell you you're not who you know you are. It's
time to be free, Jamie. There's a whole world I want to show you and you're
going to be amazing." And then he said - as he had said over and
over since they first met. "I want to teach you everything. I want you to
join my circle. I want you to join my family."
Jamie's throat was tight and he didn't think he could
speak, but he nodded weakly and touched the magic knife with his fingertips. I
have a family.
Gerald may've wanted Jamie in his circle, but Gerald
didn't own a circle any more and it would take more than an apparent change of
heart and Gerald's say-so for Celeste to let Jamie anywhere near her magicians.
Still, she wasn't so unwilling to have Jamie in her
circle that she wanted to alienate him completely. Seb argued meekly with her
for quarter of an hour before Gerald got frustrated and held out a hand behind
him, keeping Jamie close with one arm. Seb passed him the phone and he spoke
briskly for half a minute before hanging up.
"Are you okay to move?" he asked Jamie
carefully. "We should get inside."
He didn't want to go into a house full of magicians. He
didn't want to go anywhere with a magician, and he wanted to run back to Exeter
and Mae. On the other hand, he needed to get into the circle, he didn't want to
leave Gerald and he really didn't want to be alone.
They grey clouds in the sky let loose the promised rain
and Jamie let that make up his mind for him, nodding his head and letting
Gerald lead him to a car parked on one side of the bridge.
It was green lights and jam-free traffic all the way to
the big old house where everything had last gone down. Apparently being a
magician was good for something after all.
Jamie remembered the house as being big, cold, dark and
echoey but as Gerald pushed the door open he found himself stepping into a
brightly lit hallway that gave off vibes of comfort in spite of its clear
Victorian ancestry. None of the wall lights had bulbs in them, but small
floating balls of magic hung in the air between them and Jamie could feel the
power settling on his skin.
Laura was waiting inside, her face lit warm by the magic.
Jamie had only met her a few times since London, but she had always done her
best to seem sickly-sweet nice, possibly overcompensating for their first
meeting when she wanted to kill him. Now she smiled at him, and swished her
finger in what Jamie thought was some kind of attempt at a finger wand.
It was so unexpected and out of place he couldn't help
but let out a choked laugh. Gerald laughed too, low and comforting. "I
would love to say welcome to my circle," he said, stepping out in front of
Jamie and further into the magic-lit house. "But... well."
Jamie followed him, unable to stop himself picking up the
season tetrahedron, wiping the dust off the glass surfaces and looking again at
the beauty of the different face. Then he realised he was being left behind and
went to put it back.
"Keep it," said Gerald from up the hall, a
small smile on his face. "Its yours."
Jamie closed his fingers over it, dropping it into his
pocket where it clinked against the knife, and followed Gerald up the stairs.
"Sleep in any room you like," he said.
"The two on the end belong to Seb and Ben, Laura and me are upstairs
again. Any room except those." He looked at the myriad of rooms on the
corridor and gave a small sigh. Jamie found himself wondering how many
magicians had been killed and how many had just given up and left.
"Celeste will come around," Gerald continued,
holding open the door to the study for Jamie to enter. "In the meantime, I
can teach you a few things here. Seb has volunteered to stay with you when
Celeste needs the rest of us." He sighed a little. "She doesn't have
much time for him, she values power over incentive." He tapped his fingers
against the desk, apparently mulling over a problem that had been plaguing him
for some time.
"Do you think-" Jamie said, finding his voice
at last. "Do you think she'll let me in? Eventually?"
Gerald smiled, and reached out to take Jamie's hand in
his. "I know she will," he said and then reached for the pot on the
desk, sliding out a thick black marker. "But it doesn't matter." He
took off the lid and started drawing something on the back of Jamie's hand.
"Seb, Laura, Ben and I all want you. Do you know what that means?"
Jamie couldn't tear his gaze away from Gerald's face, so
he shook his head.
Gerald placed the pen back on the desk. "It means
you have a circle."
Jamie looked down and saw the sigil of a hand cupping the
world drawn on the back of his hand. The mark of the Obsidian circle.
"Welcome to the family."
-Play