THis is a version of what I left as a comment to Sarah, with a few things about what she replied as well...
The opening chapter is intriguing... Lots of questions raised (what happened to their Dad, what's wrong with their Mum, what's happened to Mae and Jamie, what are they running from etcetc?), but also gives gives a few good pointers about the world you're creating, the demons and magicians fought with spells and also swords.
I love the opening line. I think it should be held up as an encapsulation of what urban fantasy is...
I like the fact that Sarah's style is very much in evidence, especially the unusual metaphors, which are my truest love, and of those especially "her hair falling like shadows over her face" because it is descriptive and mysterious and a little sinister, which seems to go with the character. and "with a sidelong smile, warm as a whispered secret." because its gorgeous and in my mind's eye I can see exactly the sort of smile you mean.
And Mae's tee shirt! I loved all sparkly MB's. I want one.
Nick! Who is a little mean and doesn't do affection and likes things that look like knives and calls his brother an idiot while shielding him with his own body! I like him already.
I like the way we were introduced to Mae and Jamie, getting different characters views on them as well as a description. It felt very natural. It's hard to say too much about them because I only know them a little, but I really want to find out more, which is always a good sign.
And finally, best til last. Alan. Oh Alan... I am deeply, deeply intrigued by him. Why does he limp? ( Sarah says, He's crippled and all will be revealed in Chapter 3!) He quotes Aristotle and gets crushes and is "the sensitive intellectual type". But also, he is a crack shot and impossibly cool when faced with an unkindness of possessed ravens. But Also, and most interestingly, he is persuasive and "uses" his limp and makes himself look non threatening. I don't know if you can tell but I really liked Alan! Does he become even more awesome/intriguing? I fear for my sanity if so... (Sarah says yes! Bye sanity...)
I liked that the world was dark and dangerous, unapologetically so. I liked the banter. I liked the fact that they have to go to school. I liked the way that everyone's character and looks were introduced without it feeling too forced. I liked the hints at what's to come.
"Crack shot," "sensitive," "intellectual," and "bookish" pretty much seal the deal for me on character love. (Well, maybe not sensitive. Sometimes I like insensitive berks.) I fully expected to fall hard for Alan when Sarah was revealing vague things about the book, but no, I find myself being hopelessly charmed by Nick. He's an insensitive berk who cares for his brother deeply and really, it's that gooey marshmallow center that's making me all fluttery. Not that I don't love Alan because I do. (I like a man in glasses.)
Of the characters I don't quite have a handle on Mae yet, but I suspect we'll get to know her better. I can't wait to read it! And Jamie, oh Jamie. Oh dear, I fear reading this book will be like playing the Dating Game from the 60s. "All right, we have Bachelor Number One, who is a good-looking insensitive berk with a marshmallow center who's handy with the plumbing and his sword (now, now, ladies, mind the snickering)! And Bachelor Number Two, a self-described 'sensitive intellectual' who is also a crack shot with a passion for books and quoting Aristotle! Aaaaaaaand Bachelor Number Three, a nervy blond from Exeter who hides his fears and insecurities behind a razor sharp wit! Now, which will it be?"
Me too! Absolutely! I like all three, but all my favourite lines were his. And I loved that Nick introduced him as James but his sister called him "Jamie".
The opening chapter is intriguing... Lots of questions raised (what happened to their Dad, what's wrong with their Mum, what's happened to Mae and Jamie, what are they running from etcetc?), but also gives gives a few good pointers about the world you're creating, the demons and magicians fought with spells and also swords.
I love the opening line. I think it should be held up as an encapsulation of what urban fantasy is...
I like the fact that Sarah's style is very much in evidence, especially the unusual metaphors, which are my truest love, and of those especially
"her hair falling like shadows over her face" because it is descriptive and mysterious and a little sinister, which seems to go with the character.
and
"with a sidelong smile, warm as a whispered secret."
because its gorgeous and in my mind's eye I can see exactly the sort of smile you mean.
And Mae's tee shirt! I loved all sparkly MB's. I want one.
Nick! Who is a little mean and doesn't do affection and likes things that look like knives and calls his brother an idiot while shielding him with his own body! I like him already.
I like the way we were introduced to Mae and Jamie, getting different characters views on them as well as a description. It felt very natural. It's hard to say too much about them because I only know them a little, but I really want to find out more, which is always a good sign.
And finally, best til last. Alan. Oh Alan... I am deeply, deeply intrigued by him. Why does he limp? ( Sarah says, He's crippled and all will be revealed in Chapter 3!) He quotes Aristotle and gets crushes and is "the sensitive intellectual type". But also, he is a crack shot and impossibly cool when faced with an unkindness of possessed ravens. But Also, and most interestingly, he is persuasive and "uses" his limp and makes himself look non threatening. I don't know if you can tell but I really liked Alan! Does he become even more awesome/intriguing? I fear for my sanity if so... (Sarah says yes! Bye sanity...)
I liked that the world was dark and dangerous, unapologetically so. I liked the banter. I liked the fact that they have to go to school. I liked the way that everyone's character and looks were introduced without it feeling too forced. I liked the hints at what's to come.
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Of the characters I don't quite have a handle on Mae yet, but I suspect we'll get to know her better. I can't wait to read it! And Jamie, oh Jamie. Oh dear, I fear reading this book will be like playing the Dating Game from the 60s. "All right, we have Bachelor Number One, who is a good-looking insensitive berk with a marshmallow center who's handy with the plumbing and his sword (now, now, ladies, mind the snickering)! And Bachelor Number Two, a self-described 'sensitive intellectual' who is also a crack shot with a passion for books and quoting Aristotle! Aaaaaaaand Bachelor Number Three, a nervy blond from Exeter who hides his fears and insecurities behind a razor sharp wit! Now, which will it be?"
Why only one chapter? So not fair.
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lmao yes, I can feel this happening already. I'm afraid I'm going for Bachelor Number Three though... *wibbles in her minority corner*
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