(no subject)
well the last month or more i have been feeling intolerably shitty.
i took a long hard look at my life, where i am, what i'm doing, what i have done over the last two years and it honestly depressed my that much and i still feel seriously low
something has to change
for one i need somehow to earn a better living, financially moving four times in the last two years and having spent a culmination of 4 months pretty much homeless during that time has led me to get nowhere, if i hadn't had to move and spent the time homeless i would be a good couple of thousand pounds richer than i am now, currently still being in debt quite alot.
another, i have to move again come october, not that i can actually afford to as i have no money and moving house is stupidly expensive. but i cant live in this crappy house and with that bloody dog any longer than i have to. This flat is ok, but rather pokey and come winter its going to be rather unpleasant. and living with that dog actually makes me stressed. you just cant relax when its around as its either hassling you, chewing something to pieces, hassling the cat, trying to raid the bin or barking, and its now bloody huge! oh and it really makes the flat smell, really badly, its not nice.
and i have to start making things again, i know i havent had the energy to do it working two jobs but its an integral part of who i am and not doing it honestly is detrimental to my mental state
i just hope this really really dark mood lifts soon and i get some energy to start making the changes
the only real relief i have in my life is my cat. she is beautiful and sweet and gives me the most pleasure of anything currently and since i moved house seems to have become the perfect pet.
so if any of you out there know of somewhere in brighton i can move in mid october with my lovely cat, that wont screw up after 6 months and doesnt contain a massive dog with enough space for my desk of makeythings then please let me know!
i took a long hard look at my life, where i am, what i'm doing, what i have done over the last two years and it honestly depressed my that much and i still feel seriously low
something has to change
for one i need somehow to earn a better living, financially moving four times in the last two years and having spent a culmination of 4 months pretty much homeless during that time has led me to get nowhere, if i hadn't had to move and spent the time homeless i would be a good couple of thousand pounds richer than i am now, currently still being in debt quite alot.
another, i have to move again come october, not that i can actually afford to as i have no money and moving house is stupidly expensive. but i cant live in this crappy house and with that bloody dog any longer than i have to. This flat is ok, but rather pokey and come winter its going to be rather unpleasant. and living with that dog actually makes me stressed. you just cant relax when its around as its either hassling you, chewing something to pieces, hassling the cat, trying to raid the bin or barking, and its now bloody huge! oh and it really makes the flat smell, really badly, its not nice.
and i have to start making things again, i know i havent had the energy to do it working two jobs but its an integral part of who i am and not doing it honestly is detrimental to my mental state
i just hope this really really dark mood lifts soon and i get some energy to start making the changes
the only real relief i have in my life is my cat. she is beautiful and sweet and gives me the most pleasure of anything currently and since i moved house seems to have become the perfect pet.
so if any of you out there know of somewhere in brighton i can move in mid october with my lovely cat, that wont screw up after 6 months and doesnt contain a massive dog with enough space for my desk of makeythings then please let me know!