Changes...
They say changes are for good...
I've been watching so many changes in people lately that I can barely recognize some of them. Many of which I can't take, to be honest. You know that when you can't take the changes from other people you simply end up stepping away from the scene.
Whilst I've been trying to adjust it has become somewhat hard.
I wish I could talk clearly about all those changes, but I'm afraid some are quite personal.
Even myself is going thru many changes... This year feels so different in comparison to the last three.
I think my last big change was (in fact) three years ago.
I feel my mind and my heart are in blank and just sometimes I can FEEL something for real.
I'm not depressed nor sad. I'm just, how should I say so? Hmm... Frustrated, perhaps?
Nah I don't think that's completely true, I'm not sure... I'm certain that I'm confused on some issues, though.
Then again I don't want to go further on the matter. What for? I'll just get rather mixed up ~
Today I had one of those headaches that make me feel mad. At the start I was feeling very hot and muggy, then the light was bothering me and later I just wanted time to stop.
My brain ends up very tired whenever I have a severe headache.
When that happens I wonder what people might think I'm thinking ~ Or maybe they think I can't get my mind to work at the time. It does work, not properly, but it does.
My brain goes through some very aggressive thoughts, mostly that I really, really would like to smash my head against the wall.
I had a strange dream tonight. I was on a trip with my girlfriend, my matey and his boyfriend when suddenly we had to split and take my car too on the highway at night. My matey's bf came with me which felt oddly nice to have his childlike and naive company (You should see him, he's JUST taken out from a yaoi manga. Your typical uke, which I really find cute cof fujoshi cof). I was nervous and afraid, but when I saw him getting out from my gf's car and came to mine, I felt reassured.
I'm mad.
I'm mad because I can't speak out my heart clearly and I have no clue as to what my soul's being up to. I want to shout at everyone and at the same time I don't see a point to it.
This last week was nice, specially because I felt very happy with my girlfriend (no, it's not only because you cut your hair, please.Although it does make me horny and I adore your short hair, have a little more faith in me, hon T///T;;;. ) Somehow there was a warmness I had been missing the past weeks.
Love her beyond anything in the world. Wish I could make all her dreams come true. Wish I could give her the whole universe in a golden box and a perfect life.
Maybe this is just a harsh night. I really would love to be in the mountains watching those dark giants sleep. It scares me (you know, because of my fear to immensity); but I love it too, specially the scent.
Well, I'm going back to work. Got a design to do.
See you next post, my dearest reader.
*shuriken*
I've been watching so many changes in people lately that I can barely recognize some of them. Many of which I can't take, to be honest. You know that when you can't take the changes from other people you simply end up stepping away from the scene.
Whilst I've been trying to adjust it has become somewhat hard.
I wish I could talk clearly about all those changes, but I'm afraid some are quite personal.
Even myself is going thru many changes... This year feels so different in comparison to the last three.
I think my last big change was (in fact) three years ago.
I feel my mind and my heart are in blank and just sometimes I can FEEL something for real.
I'm not depressed nor sad. I'm just, how should I say so? Hmm... Frustrated, perhaps?
Nah I don't think that's completely true, I'm not sure... I'm certain that I'm confused on some issues, though.
Then again I don't want to go further on the matter. What for? I'll just get rather mixed up ~
Today I had one of those headaches that make me feel mad. At the start I was feeling very hot and muggy, then the light was bothering me and later I just wanted time to stop.
My brain ends up very tired whenever I have a severe headache.
When that happens I wonder what people might think I'm thinking ~ Or maybe they think I can't get my mind to work at the time. It does work, not properly, but it does.
My brain goes through some very aggressive thoughts, mostly that I really, really would like to smash my head against the wall.
I had a strange dream tonight. I was on a trip with my girlfriend, my matey and his boyfriend when suddenly we had to split and take my car too on the highway at night. My matey's bf came with me which felt oddly nice to have his childlike and naive company (You should see him, he's JUST taken out from a yaoi manga. Your typical uke, which I really find cute cof fujoshi cof). I was nervous and afraid, but when I saw him getting out from my gf's car and came to mine, I felt reassured.
I'm mad.
I'm mad because I can't speak out my heart clearly and I have no clue as to what my soul's being up to. I want to shout at everyone and at the same time I don't see a point to it.
This last week was nice, specially because I felt very happy with my girlfriend (no, it's not only because you cut your hair, please.Although it does make me horny and I adore your short hair, have a little more faith in me, hon T///T;;;. ) Somehow there was a warmness I had been missing the past weeks.
Love her beyond anything in the world. Wish I could make all her dreams come true. Wish I could give her the whole universe in a golden box and a perfect life.
Maybe this is just a harsh night. I really would love to be in the mountains watching those dark giants sleep. It scares me (you know, because of my fear to immensity); but I love it too, specially the scent.
Well, I'm going back to work. Got a design to do.
See you next post, my dearest reader.
*shuriken*