Comment-fic-entry: Prompt 20, gen "In the closet"

[marlowe78]

Title: In the closet
Author:marlowe78
Rating: PG13 (I think?).
Genre/pairing: gen,
Characters: Sam, Dean, OCs
Word count: 9.522
Summary: There is a monster, outside the closet
Spoilers: not really. I think it's set in s4 or s5, though.
Warnings: Swearing and some (but not much) gore
Disclaimer: Everything was written for fun, not profit. Sadly, I do not

Comments

[dawnintheforest]

*high five* I liked it! An outside POV is cool to read sometimes. I wish I could put my finger on it, but I agree with that feeling you're getting at about it not really being what you wanted to write. I could tell you were reaching out for something more. I wish I had better notes to give you on that subject. But know that I liked what I read, and that it was definitely post-worthy! Thanks for sharing.

[marlowe78]

Thank you.
Yeah, I know. I have no real idea what it is that's bugging me, but I guess the spark I wanted isn't there.
I'm glad you liked it, since I don't NOT like it.
Thanks for letting me know what you think.
Marlowe

[chiiyo86]

Hee. I really enjoyed this. I like the rambling outsider's POV, the observations the OC makes on the brothers and their relationship. I like the brotherly banter. And I love Dean's panic attack and how he still remains in character, and Sam's attempts to keep him calm.

Thanks for answering my prompt!

[marlowe78]

Oh, I'm SO glad you liked it. Even though I'm not completely satisfied, my OC grew on me and I was glad that she wasn't hurt bad. I rather envied her for spending hours with the Winchesters. Any woman's dream, right ;-)
I didn't want Dean to freak out in a major way. He would if he was alone with Sam, but loosing it in front of so many strangers - and that asshole Boss of my OC - ... I just couldn't see it.
I'm glad it worked for you.

[zatnikatel]

Dude! Yours is finished! Mine… not so much, for various reasons. But almost finished and thankfully the Mod is being understanding. I really enjoyed this - I like how your narrator just rambles on in the face of their dire straits. She’s the perfect PIP, who doesn’t even really get how bad things are and how much worse they could get. Loved her little reflection on her own children’s relationship and her comparison of that bond with the bond she could see between Sam and Dean even though she doesn’t even know them. Love Sam’s understated efforts to keep him calm and the fact you kept him ic even if he was freaking out inside. Claustrophobic!Dean is a missed opportunity on Show, sadly - I mean , he’s bound to be isn’t he, after digging his way out of his own grave?! And yet we never saw it in FR or JtS. And much, much love for the salt sachets! What a great comic image! ;-)

[marlowe78]

Aaaah, don't be sad. I'm sure yours'll be worth the wait

[hoodietime]

I haven't read a lot of pieces from the POV of an OC in this fandom; it's not a genre I'm necessarily drawn to, but you did a GREAT ob with this and I totally love it. ;)

I adored the OC POV catching all the little details, like the fact that Sam was very carefully not looking at Dean while they talked, and how they initially thought Sam was the older brother. And I adored the Winchesters, who are usually so private, having that kind of personal conversation in public like that because Sam knew it was the only thing that could calm Dean down. Awesome!

[marlowe78]

Thanks so much!
Of course my OC would catch all that. I mean, we catch all that on a (nearly) weekly basis and she is a smart cookie. She was the first who knew her boss was sleeping with Maggie, I tell ya. And in a closet full of boring people, it would be a pleasure to study the two handsome guys. Very thoroughly.
Sam is a smart cookie too. He'd know how to calm his brother.

I know, OPV is hard to sell sometimes, but I like to read it every now and then and that prompt just...begged me to write it.
Thanks so much for your comment, again.

[deangirl1]

I liked it, and I'm a notoriously hard sell for outsider POVs... Great glimpses of Dean and Sam and the protagonist was well done - I liked her!

[marlowe78]

Thanks
I'm glad you liked it, especially when it's not your usual cup of tea. I liked her too. She'll be freaking out for a week after she's out of the office.
Like your icon, btw.