FICTION : reality
reality
pg
notes this is nothing, really.
I remember asking you that one Friday night years back if you had seen 'The Warriors'. You had said no, and I was really bummed out all of a sudden. We had been drinking so I had nothing holding me back (like dignity) from saying a few random lines from the movie. Bill was there and he started saying the lines with me, and I was thankful that someone knew what I was talking about. This was probably 15 years ago, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember.
I had blisters on my toes and mosquito bites up and down my legs but I couldn't feel them. We had walked around Paris all day that day, my toes felt broken by the time I got home. But once we started drinking the pain magically went away. I guess that is what drinking is. We all thought we were pretty hot shit back then, back when being in the fashion industry really seemed to mean something. Maybe since I'm older things just don't seem the same. I felt like Stevie Nicks. It was new and different and I swore I'd never leave Europe but six months later I was back in New York, thinking about how much I hated modeling and how much I wanted to just quit and move back to Boston and be a dentist.
But you were there that night, everyone was. And you had never seen 'The Warriors'. I hope you've seen it since then. You had never read 'Howl', either, and I wondered why I was even friends with you. But we weren't even friends. We just kissed every once in awhile and your beard scratched my face so much that my skin started drying out. That was the excuse I used to stop kissing you, but it was really just about 'The Warriors' and 'Howl'. I just couldn't deal with it. I hated everyone back then and that was a perfect excuse to start hating you. Nine months in Paris was all I could take, it was the best and worst time in my life. And it always wears your face.
Every once in awhile I think about you. I never hated you. I don't think I ever really hated anyone, I just felt like I did. I was reading a lot of Ted Hughes back then and he just made it worse. I know the first time I read 'Howl' to my son you'll be in my thoughts. I won't ever let him disappoint a girl the way you disapointed me. The memories now are mostly fond, and I look back at myself and laugh at it all. I really liked how your beard felt on my face, and how you didn't know anything about poetry. I think after I read 'Howl' to my son, I'll read him 'Wodwo', just for good measure.
pg
notes this is nothing, really.
I remember asking you that one Friday night years back if you had seen 'The Warriors'. You had said no, and I was really bummed out all of a sudden. We had been drinking so I had nothing holding me back (like dignity) from saying a few random lines from the movie. Bill was there and he started saying the lines with me, and I was thankful that someone knew what I was talking about. This was probably 15 years ago, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember.
I had blisters on my toes and mosquito bites up and down my legs but I couldn't feel them. We had walked around Paris all day that day, my toes felt broken by the time I got home. But once we started drinking the pain magically went away. I guess that is what drinking is. We all thought we were pretty hot shit back then, back when being in the fashion industry really seemed to mean something. Maybe since I'm older things just don't seem the same. I felt like Stevie Nicks. It was new and different and I swore I'd never leave Europe but six months later I was back in New York, thinking about how much I hated modeling and how much I wanted to just quit and move back to Boston and be a dentist.
But you were there that night, everyone was. And you had never seen 'The Warriors'. I hope you've seen it since then. You had never read 'Howl', either, and I wondered why I was even friends with you. But we weren't even friends. We just kissed every once in awhile and your beard scratched my face so much that my skin started drying out. That was the excuse I used to stop kissing you, but it was really just about 'The Warriors' and 'Howl'. I just couldn't deal with it. I hated everyone back then and that was a perfect excuse to start hating you. Nine months in Paris was all I could take, it was the best and worst time in my life. And it always wears your face.
Every once in awhile I think about you. I never hated you. I don't think I ever really hated anyone, I just felt like I did. I was reading a lot of Ted Hughes back then and he just made it worse. I know the first time I read 'Howl' to my son you'll be in my thoughts. I won't ever let him disappoint a girl the way you disapointed me. The memories now are mostly fond, and I look back at myself and laugh at it all. I really liked how your beard felt on my face, and how you didn't know anything about poetry. I think after I read 'Howl' to my son, I'll read him 'Wodwo', just for good measure.