The wake
I'd never been to a traditional funeral that wasn't for a relative, or for some other person who wasn't a close friend...now I have.
On Sunday, Kenji and I drove off before sunrise to go visit Lisa in prison, and tell her the news. I really wasn't looking forward to having to be the one to do that, but all in all, she took it quite well (although I'm sure that the initial shock has lifted by now, and that she's probably crying her eyes out). So, after the visit, we started back towards the Bay Area...somehow, it took us twice as long as it should have to drive, and we didn't get to Mountain View until 8:00pm. Andrew's viewing started at 5:00, and the rosary was scheduled for 7:00. By the time we got there, his relatives were done with the wake. Luckily, however, I'd called the mortuary ahead of time, from the road, and they were keeping it open so we could still see him. So, it was just kenji and I, alone there with Andrew's body. I'm very grateful that we got to have that time with Andrew, and not have to share him with his family. I'm still not sure what I thought about seeing his body lying there in the casket...he didn't look like himself at all. It was kind of like seeing Andrew as a poorly constructed wax figure. He had so much makeup on. I guess they had to really cake it on, cause, he must have been blue. When I first looked down at his fingernails, I thought they were dirty, and I was wondering why the mortuary hadn't bothered to clean them, but then I realized that they weren't dirty, it's just that the nail beds were blue unerneath. I guess I'd hoped that he would look like he was sleeping...I'd always liked seeing Andrew sleeping cause he'd look so peaceful and innocent...but he didn't look like that at all. I think a big part of that was the way they had him lying flat on his back. His grandparents had him dressed up in an unflattering white button down shirt with "spring" colored checks, and I'm sure Andrew would have chosen something else to wear if it had been up to him. Anyway, I held his hand and touched his hair, and that made me feel a little better, cause his hair still felt real to me. After about a half hour with Andrew, Kenji and I left.
I'll write about the funeral, the next day, in a little while.
On Sunday, Kenji and I drove off before sunrise to go visit Lisa in prison, and tell her the news. I really wasn't looking forward to having to be the one to do that, but all in all, she took it quite well (although I'm sure that the initial shock has lifted by now, and that she's probably crying her eyes out). So, after the visit, we started back towards the Bay Area...somehow, it took us twice as long as it should have to drive, and we didn't get to Mountain View until 8:00pm. Andrew's viewing started at 5:00, and the rosary was scheduled for 7:00. By the time we got there, his relatives were done with the wake. Luckily, however, I'd called the mortuary ahead of time, from the road, and they were keeping it open so we could still see him. So, it was just kenji and I, alone there with Andrew's body. I'm very grateful that we got to have that time with Andrew, and not have to share him with his family. I'm still not sure what I thought about seeing his body lying there in the casket...he didn't look like himself at all. It was kind of like seeing Andrew as a poorly constructed wax figure. He had so much makeup on. I guess they had to really cake it on, cause, he must have been blue. When I first looked down at his fingernails, I thought they were dirty, and I was wondering why the mortuary hadn't bothered to clean them, but then I realized that they weren't dirty, it's just that the nail beds were blue unerneath. I guess I'd hoped that he would look like he was sleeping...I'd always liked seeing Andrew sleeping cause he'd look so peaceful and innocent...but he didn't look like that at all. I think a big part of that was the way they had him lying flat on his back. His grandparents had him dressed up in an unflattering white button down shirt with "spring" colored checks, and I'm sure Andrew would have chosen something else to wear if it had been up to him. Anyway, I held his hand and touched his hair, and that made me feel a little better, cause his hair still felt real to me. After about a half hour with Andrew, Kenji and I left.
I'll write about the funeral, the next day, in a little while.