(no subject)
It feels like shit that Stephen is always watching shows. This is what he wants to spend his life doing...watching TV shows. It's exactly the opposite of what I want. I hate it so very much. But it's technically his birthday, so I'm trying to just let him be. Please help me God, it's hard. I feel so alone all the time... He has said "I love you," and "I'm glad that you're here." But he doesn't make me feel like that's true...and I don't want him to force it...I wish spending time with me was his preferred past time. It used to be.
And he never wants me anymore. He doesn't like looking into my eyes...I feel sick when I actually think about it like this. I don't want to ruin his birthday.
He is a good provider, dad, and husband, and he deserves to have a great birthday. God help me bite my lip and submit to my husband.