The Real LJ Idol * Season 11 * Week 21: Sudden Death Write Off-Open Topic

[marlawentmad]

She thrice casted her voice

Comments

[karmasoup]

I think a lot of us can certainly relate to the grit of undreaming now.

[rayaso]

I never thought that millipedes and maggots would make such a good poem, but you used them to great effect here.

[marlawentmad]

Thank you for that kind compliment!

[tonithegreat]

Such exhaustion and anxiety. And frustration. I can relate. This is very evocative. Well done.

[marlawentmad]

I am sorry to hear you can relate, but it does feel good to be seen and understood.

[flipflop_diva]

What sad and distressing images here, but written so well and so powerfully!

[marlawentmad]

I really appreciate that balanced feedback. Thank you for reading and commenting.

[halfshellvenus]

Eeeee, there's so much I love in this poem.

Instead, the haunting came
down the hill
The ability to see it coming makes this all the more ominous.

The undreaming, the horror of becoming possessed rather than what she'd hoped for (because when you open that "door," there is always a risk), and

her nerves crawled
with millipede feet
thrumming and
possessed.
The phrase "millepede feet" is wonderful on its own, but even better in this section where it conveys the pervasiveness and creepiness of what she's feeling and how truly terrible it is and how unlikely she is to ever be free of it again.

[marlawentmad]

Thank you for being such a thoughtful reader. I love when I get to see which sections land with people the most.