THE SMOKE CLEARS UP THE AIR A LITTLE
I'm still fighting with my ability to create a proper mix cd.
This is just a reflection of what my inner thoughts and choices have been like lately. I can't decide and when I finally do I'm too scared to execute the right decisions in fear of failing.
There's just so much to do with such scarce time it's ridiculous even attempting to complete 1/4 of it before fucking up everything that is suppose to come next.
The future's a blur. But I keep getting premonitions on where it's headed and it scares the fucking daylights out of me with where I'll probably end up. I'm being paranoid and yes, it's all too soon to say where everything is suppose to follow. But is feelings don't lie and mine aren't exactly screaming success or happiness for that matter.
I keep expecting. I hate expectations. I'm doing the best I can. I really am and it's proven on paper but I know it's not enough. What I'm doing is not enough to mold my future, to give me security and it's evident each and every time I get deeper.
This is just a reflection of what my inner thoughts and choices have been like lately. I can't decide and when I finally do I'm too scared to execute the right decisions in fear of failing.
There's just so much to do with such scarce time it's ridiculous even attempting to complete 1/4 of it before fucking up everything that is suppose to come next.
The future's a blur. But I keep getting premonitions on where it's headed and it scares the fucking daylights out of me with where I'll probably end up. I'm being paranoid and yes, it's all too soon to say where everything is suppose to follow. But is feelings don't lie and mine aren't exactly screaming success or happiness for that matter.
I keep expecting. I hate expectations. I'm doing the best I can. I really am and it's proven on paper but I know it's not enough. What I'm doing is not enough to mold my future, to give me security and it's evident each and every time I get deeper.