AU Summer: Confused...
The craniofacial surgery today went well-- morning surgeries always get my adrenaline going. It reminds me why I went into this in the first place-- the rush, the thrill, the way the world can seem so simple when all you have to worry about is fixing the person on the table in front of you. I had a late lunch afterwards-- I never eat breakfast when I have a major morning surgery scheduled. After lunch I went to go check on some pre and post-op patients. Seriously, how this place managed this long without a crippling liability lawsuit is beyond me. When I get back from New York there are going to be major changes in op-notes and how they monitor patients.
Speaking of patience: I'm not a patient person, I never was. I graduated a year early just to get out of high school. The monthly auto-insurance payments remind me constantly of how impatient I am when driving from all the traffic tickets. Hell, I didn't even have the patience for a marriage to properly end before I moved in. And all of this impatience will probably make me a very ineffective teacher. Probably not a good thing since I will be teaching: teaching this place how to run a department with the efficiency and professionalism of an East Coast practice, teaching residents how to be real surgeons, teaching people how to trust me again... This is either the best thing I've ever done, or the stupidest.
Some intern named Karev has been hanging around me a lot, sucking up, but not flat out asking to scrub in. He's cocky and arrogant and full of himself and considering how everyone else around here seems to walk on eggshells all the time-- I like that. I remember him from my last trip here-- he wants into plastics, so I'll probably will have in scrub in on a surgery or two when I get back.
I had a brief (awkward) conversation with Addie yesterday, but I didn't know what to say to her. I haven't spoken with Derek yet. I've seen him briefly from a distance, but honestly, I'm not even sure that he knows I'm here.
Chief Webber met with me again today. I was right: he is hiring me to head up the plastics department. I tried to act surprised and grateful, but I don't do well with deception. Which means my returning flight to New York will actually be for me to pack up my apartment and make the move to Seattle.
So what am I doing?
I'm moving away from almost all of my friends, my family, my job, my freaking life(!) to a place where the woman I love ignores me, my best friend still hates me, and I am essentially alone.
At times like this, I'd typically ask my best friend what to do. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do that for some time.
I'm going to call mom later tonight and let her know my plans. She'll most likely drive down to Manhattan for lunch or something before I move back. Part of me feels like a horrible son for not visiting her more often when she lives less than 100 miles away. One hundred miles from New York seems like a world away, but soon I'll be on the other side of the country and it really will be.
Maybe mom will help me pack-- I've never been good at that organizing stuff. I have no idea where I'll have everything shipped to since I'm living out of a hotel at the moment. I doubt Derek would appreciate FedEx leaving all my belongings in boxes outside of his trailer.
But I'll worry about that later. I've got to call back home. Then I'm headed to Joe's. Addison may not like seedy bars, but I certainly do.
Speaking of patience: I'm not a patient person, I never was. I graduated a year early just to get out of high school. The monthly auto-insurance payments remind me constantly of how impatient I am when driving from all the traffic tickets. Hell, I didn't even have the patience for a marriage to properly end before I moved in. And all of this impatience will probably make me a very ineffective teacher. Probably not a good thing since I will be teaching: teaching this place how to run a department with the efficiency and professionalism of an East Coast practice, teaching residents how to be real surgeons, teaching people how to trust me again... This is either the best thing I've ever done, or the stupidest.
Some intern named Karev has been hanging around me a lot, sucking up, but not flat out asking to scrub in. He's cocky and arrogant and full of himself and considering how everyone else around here seems to walk on eggshells all the time-- I like that. I remember him from my last trip here-- he wants into plastics, so I'll probably will have in scrub in on a surgery or two when I get back.
I had a brief (awkward) conversation with Addie yesterday, but I didn't know what to say to her. I haven't spoken with Derek yet. I've seen him briefly from a distance, but honestly, I'm not even sure that he knows I'm here.
Chief Webber met with me again today. I was right: he is hiring me to head up the plastics department. I tried to act surprised and grateful, but I don't do well with deception. Which means my returning flight to New York will actually be for me to pack up my apartment and make the move to Seattle.
So what am I doing?
I'm moving away from almost all of my friends, my family, my job, my freaking life(!) to a place where the woman I love ignores me, my best friend still hates me, and I am essentially alone.
At times like this, I'd typically ask my best friend what to do. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do that for some time.
I'm going to call mom later tonight and let her know my plans. She'll most likely drive down to Manhattan for lunch or something before I move back. Part of me feels like a horrible son for not visiting her more often when she lives less than 100 miles away. One hundred miles from New York seems like a world away, but soon I'll be on the other side of the country and it really will be.
Maybe mom will help me pack-- I've never been good at that organizing stuff. I have no idea where I'll have everything shipped to since I'm living out of a hotel at the moment. I doubt Derek would appreciate FedEx leaving all my belongings in boxes outside of his trailer.
But I'll worry about that later. I've got to call back home. Then I'm headed to Joe's. Addison may not like seedy bars, but I certainly do.