(no subject)
WHO’S THE GLUTTON?
CAST:
FELIX: Felix is the middle aged and intimidating producer.
ROB: Rob is a gentle man who is the director of the documentary.
CARTER: One of the blond male contestants on the show
ALICIA: The intimidating manager of the T.V. show.
PHILLIP: One of the dark haired male contestants on the show.
MADISON: A pretty blond contestant on the show
BROOKE: A pretty brown haired contestant on the show.
JAKE: The camera man for Rob.
Cast Size: Five men and three women.
Time: During the shooting of the T.V. show “Who’s the Glutton?”
Place: On the house set of “Who’s the Glutton?”
Length: Two acts, five scenes, one intermission.
Draft: Final Draft 4/05/05
Act 1
Scene 1
Scene: There is an acting set with furniture that represents a living room. On the couches are sitting Carter, Phillip, Madison, and Brooke. In the middle of the two couches is a fireplace in the background and in the front in the middle is a table with food. In the corner of the room is a light up sign that says On the Air. It is all dark now and in the middle stand two figures illuminated by the spotlight.
[Jake is standing with a camera on his shoulder pointed at Rob. Rob is facing the camera and speaking. They are the only two on the stage that have light on them.]
ROB: (Smiling with hands outstretched.) Are you on?
[Jake nods up and down and gives thumbs up.]
ROB: (Coughs and clears throat.) Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to the secret life of reality T.V. (Takes several steps to the left while facing the camera.) The reality T.V. world has enthralled us all. From the Real World to Road Rules to Survivor, they have all captured the attention of millions around the world. Today we will take a step into the real world behind reality T.V. We will be taping the creation of the new and upcoming show “Who’s the Glutton?” created by producer, director, and host Felix Stone. We will take you behind the scenes to see the production of this new and exciting show. Sit back and enjoy the scene unfold. (Stretches out arm towards Felix standing in the middle of the stage facing the audience. Jake points the camera past Rob focused at Felix. Felix is dressed in a fancy suit.)
[Lights dim on Rob and Jake on the left side of the stage as they tape the scene unfolding before them. Lights flash on everybody on the rest of the stage which reveals the scenery. The On Air sign in the corner of the room lights up and the spotlight shines on Felix.]
FELIX: (Smiles confidently and speaks in a loud booming voice with his arms outstretched towards the audience.) Welcome to the show where survival doesn’t just happen in the wild but right in your own living room. Food is the necessity of all life and here the fight will be for food. Welcome to the premier episode of Who’s the Glutton! (Dramatic music begins to play and the lights flash brighter.) We have four contestants which have all agreed to abide by the rules of the game. The way this game works is that each of the contestants will have to compete for food. The contestant who has either gained the most or lost the least weight by the end of the season will have won. They will have to eat disgusting things, go through challenging physical tests, and mind games all for a little bit of food to satisfy their gluttony. The winner will get two hundred thousand dollars! How far will they go? Let’s meet the contestants. (Motions hand behind him to where the contestants are.)
PHILLIP: (Stands up and spotlight shines on him and goes off Felix.) Hi I’m Phillip Smith and I’m an accountant from Youngstown, Ohio. I weigh one hundred eighty pounds. (Sits back down.)
CARTER: (Stands up and spotlight shines on him and goes off Phillip.) Hi I’m Carter Johnson and I’m a surgeon from Las Vegan, Nevada. I weigh one hundred seventy pounds. (Sits back down.)
MADISON: (Stands up and spotlight shine on her and goes off Carter.) Hi I’m Madison Newsly and I’m a personal trainer from Boston, Massachusets. I weigh one hundred seven pounds. (Sits back down.)
BROOKE: (Stands up and spotlight shine on her and goes off Madison.) Hi I’m Brooke Bartlet and I’m a writer from Miami, Florida. I weigh one hundred twenty one pounds. (Sits back down and spotlight shines back to Felix.)
FELIX: (Smiling fakely.) There you have our four contestants. Now they will have their last meal.
[Spotlight shines on the table covered in food. The contestants begin eating.]
FELIX: (Turned towards the contestants.) Eat up! It may be your last! (Turning back towards he audience.) We’ll be back right after these messages.
[The On Air sign turns off.]
FELIX: (In a much harsher and meaner tone than before.) Eat up! Hurry up we have to shoot again in twenty minutes. We’re on a tight schedule! (Turns towards right of stage and yells.) Somebody do my makeup! I need someone here right now! (Stomps off and exits towards right. Contestants glance at eachother.)
ROB: (Walks over with Jake and Jake’s camera to Phillip. Shoves a microphone in Phillip’s face and points camera at him while he continues to eat.) So Phillip… Why did you decide to sign up for this show?
PHILLIP: (Speaking with his mouth full and looking at Jake’s camera.) It’s not everyday you get offered to get eat for money.
ROB: What do you think about it after you’ve had your first shooting?
PHILLIP: (Pausing for a moment to think.) It’ll be tough, but how can I go wrong by eating.
ROB: Thank you Phillip. (Walks over to Madison. Madison is chewing and she holds her hand in front of her face and waves it as if to show that she can’t talk. Walks over to Carter and puts microphone in his face.) Well Carter, being a cardiac surgeon, do you think this will be bad for your health?
CARTER: (Putting down a chicken wing that he was holding. Clears his throat.) In short periods of time losing or gaining a substantial amount of weight can be harmful in the long run but it’s nothing two hundred thousand dollars can’t fix.
PHILLIP: (Putting down a cheeseburger for a moment.) Amen!
FELIX: (Only voice heard yelling angrily from right of stage.) Ten minutes! This is reality T.V. and not Disney World!
ROB: (Walks over to Brooke with Jake.) If you could say anything to your family right now, what would it be?
BROOKE: (Waves quickly and happily.) Hi Mom! Hi Dad! I’m alright! Don’t worry about me cuz I’m comin’ home with two hundred G’s! (Raises fist triumphantly towards the camera and laughs.)
ROB: (Stands straight and looks towards camera.) Well there you have it. Although seemingly apprehensive, they are all hopeful as the show goes on.
[Scene ends and stage goes dark.]
Act 1
Scene 2
Scene: The scene is a room with four tanks with beetles in them in the middle of the room. Each contestant is standing beside one of the tanks and Felix is standing in the middle of the room facing the audience. The On Air sign is in the corner. Rob and Jake are standing in the corner of the stage filming everything for their documentary.
[The On Air sign lights up.]
FELIX: (Standing in the middle with his hands at his side and speaking in a loud voice.) Welcome back to “Who’s the Glutton?”! Right now we are just getting ready to have our first contest. In these containers (Spotlight shines on containers.) are ten pounds of harmless Japanese beetles. Weighing at a hefty three ounces each there should be a lot of meat. The contestants will try to eat as much as they can in five minutes without using their hands without spilling any beetles out. The more beetles the contestants get, the more points the contestant gets, which translates into more food for them. Five minutes on the clock. (A clock appears from the back which has five minutes on it.)
[The contestants walk up to each container with their hands tied behind their backs. They are making gruesome faces at the beetles to show their disgust in their meal.]
FELIX: Begin! (Throwing his hands up.)
[The clock starts to count down and the contestants jam their heads into the containers and eat quickly.]
FELIX: Go Carter! You’re ahead! (Waits a minute.) You’re coming up close behind Brooke! (Claps.) C’mon Carter you’re falling behind! (Laughs and claps.)
[The buzzer sounds as the time runs out.]
FELIX: Good job contestants. (Walks over to Brooke and holds her hand up in triumph.) You are the winner Brooke. It looks like you’ll be eating handsomely tonight. Ten thousand dollars has also been added to your bank account. Congratulations! (Turns to the audience and give a warm smile.) Thanks for tuning in. We’ll see you next week on “Who’s the Glutton?” Where we find out who can deal with eating and who can’t.
[The On the Air sign goes out.]
FELIX: (Yells as warm smile turns to disgusted face.) Who wrote this script!? This game is boring! (Looking around and speaking loudly and accusatorily.) Who would want to watch this crap! Next shoot we’re goanna beef it up. (Stomps out to the right of the stage and exits.)
ROB: (Looking at Jake and whispering.) You got that on tape?
JAKE: (Nods his head as he smokes a cigarette.) Yup.
ROB: Good.
[Curtain falls.]
[Intermission.]
Act 2
Scene 1
Scene: The scene is the office of Felix. There is a desk in the middle and a computer at the desk. Around him are billboards with papers on them. Rob and Jake are sitting in chairs in front of Felix’s desk. Rob is interviewing him and Jake has the camera pointed at him. Felix has his legs on his desk and is throwing up a rubber ball in the air. He seems disinterested.
ROB: (Writing down notes on a notepad.) And how long again did you say you’ve been in the entertainment business?
FELIX: (Catching his rubber ball in one hand.) O umm.. about sixteen years now. I worked with the original survivor. I even worked with the guys of the old T.V. show M.A.S.H.
ROB: I see. (Continuing to jot down notes.) How long has this show been in your head?
FELIX: O, about two years. At first, we were going to set it in the wild, but we thought it might be too risky. I wish we did now.
ROB: And why is that? (Leaning forward.)
FELIX: Can you turn that thing off?
ROB: Sure. (Taps Jake on the leg so it’s only visible to the audience.) It’s off.
FELIX: Why is the red light still on? (Pointing questionably at the camera.)
ROB: O that just means it still has tape in it.
FELIX: Well Rob. I wish we had set this show in the wild. It’s just too damn boring when it’s in set in a living room setting. Nobody will watch this show the way it is. It’s too bland. It’s not cutting edge. I need complete control of it. I need to make it beyond what the public has ever seen before.
ROB: (Writing down more notes.) Wow that’s very impressive Mr. Stone. (Pauses a moment.) Now what’s your opinion on the not so very real reality T.V. show.
FELIX: (Stops throwing the ball and takes feet off desk. Leans in close to Rob and squints eyes.) What do you mean it’s not real? It’s completely real. (Begins to raise voice slowly.) Everything here is real. The contests are real! It’s all real. No more questions like that. Believe me it’s a-
[Alicia bursts in looking angry. She is a brunette and she is wearing a sport coat and a wireless cell phone attached to her head. She is holding a newspaper and walking quickly.]
ALICIA: (Enter Alicia. She interrupts Felix and slams the newspaper down on his desk.) Look in the entertainment section.
FELIX: (Sarcastically while flipping through the pages.) Good to see you too Alicia.
ALICIA: Shut up. I don’t care if you want a hello. You work for me remember.
FELIX: (Speaking loudly.) Big Flop! (Becoming angry.) What is this!
ALICIA: You tell me Felix! What is it? Why does the paper say we are a big flop when you say all the shootings are going great? Since the show premiered two months ago our ratings have steadily dropped each episode.
FELIX: Blame those damn writers! Blame the camera man! (Pounding his fist on his desk.) This is all wrong! We have to try something new. (Looks at Jake and Rob angrily. Throws a book off his desk.) Get out! I don’t need you pestering me right now!
ROB: But-
FELIX: (Pointing his finger to the right.) Get out.
ROB: (Still having Jake point the camera at him.) We have a contract!
FELIX: (Using force to push them out as they continue to tape him.) Out!
We need to try something different. (Sits back down and folds his arms.)
ALICIA: (Sits down where Rob was sitting.) And what do you propose?
FELIX: I need you to give me full control.
ALICIA: You got if you think you’re on to something. The ratings are dropping and our viewers are leaving us.
FELIX: We’re just too boring and I know exactly what to do. (Stands up.) We’re going to raise the stakes. We’re going to make the show a little bit more daring. (Raising his voice.) I don’t care if it’s controversial. I will make this work.
Act 2
Scene 2
Scene: The scene is a lounge with leather couches and a television in it. The four contestants are sitting on the couches and Rob and Jake are interviewing them. They all look fatigued and reasonably skinnier.
[The scenery in the background is all dark and there is only a single light on Jake and Rob as Rob gives his synopsis of the show to the camera.]
ROB: (Holding a microphone and speaking to the camera.) It has been three weeks now. The contestants are dreaming of a full dinner as they have to fight their way to the refrigerator. All the stability of a television show isn’t quite the reality of the show backstage. The contestants are becoming disgruntled and hungry. Phillip passed out last week. How long will they put up with it before the weak give up and a winner is found?
[Light comes on illuminating the background making the couches and the contestants visible. They are watching Television.]
ROB: (Making a head movement towards the contestants.) Let’s see how they’re feeling now. (Walks towards Brooke.) Brooke, how are you feeling after several weeks of competition and famine?
BROOKE: (Sighs.) Ughhh… I don’t know how much more I can take.
ROB: How does it make you feel knowing that ratings have dropped considerably since the first episode?
BROOKE: (Laughs.) Wow, that makes me feel absolutely great. (Taps Madison on the arm.) You hear that? Ratings have gone way down?
MADISON: (Puts hand to mouth in shock.) What!? Are you serious? This is enough. Two weeks we’ve been going crazy. We have to do something. I will not sit through my life being threatened by a television company that might go under.
[Alicia bursts in wearing a headset telephone and carrying a clipboard.]
ALICIA: (Speaking loudly and quickly.) You guys have five minutes to get to the makeup department. Get over there now!
MADISON: (With a face of disgust.) What’s the competition today?
ALICIA: (Glances at her clipboard and flips through several pages and starts to read from a page.) Ummm. The contestants have to choose from several bins of berries to choose from. One of the bins is poisonous. The contestant that has eaten the most berries wins a full five course meal and ten thousand dollars. (Looks up from the clipboard.) This ought to be a fun one. Felix designed this one himself. (Claps her hands to get attention.) Okay! Let’s get ready. C’mon! (Exits.)
MADISON: (Looks around at the contestants.) Did you hear that!? One of us could die!
[Rob walks over to question Carter.]
ROB: What do you think about this?
CARTER: This isn’t fair! This is just too dangerous to be a game anymore. Phillip hasn’t eaten in almost a week. This isn’t reality, this is dangerous.
ROB: (Turns to camera.) As the contestants get hungry they get angry. The next shooting is coming up and we’ll see what happens.
Act 2
Scene 3
Scene: The scene is the filming stage. The On the Air sign is off. In the middle of the room are four containers each containing four more containers of berries. The four contestants are standing by the containers looking apprehensive. Felix is standing in the middle of the stage facing the audience. Rob and Jake are standing on the left corner of the stage filming everything. Alicia is in the corner of the stage giving a countdown to being on air.
FELIX: What is that smell!? (Holding his nose.) That’s absolutely putrid.
ALICIA: Calm down Felix it’s the berries. We’re going on in fifty seconds.
FELIX: God! Some one could have gotten better smelling berries. (Fixes his tie.)
How do I look?
ALICIA: You look great. Twenty seconds.
FELIX: I don’t know how I’m going to shoot this with those berries around. This better be worth it
ALICA: (Edges off the stage while using her fingers to show how many seconds.) Five-
FELIX: This better be good. That smells awful.
ALICIA: Four-
Three-
Two-
One-
[The On the Air sign lights up.]
FELIX: (Quickly changes his face of disgust to a smile.) Hello again and welcome to another episode of “Who’s the Glutton?”! We’d like to welcome back our contestants Brooke, Madison, Carter, and Phillip. Today we’ll be raising the stakes a little. In front of each contestant are four containers that hold berries. The contestants will have to pick one of the containers and the first contestant to eat all the berries in the container will win. There is a catch though. One of the containers of berries is poisonous. Let’s begin the contest. Lower the clock.
[A large timing clock appears from the ceiling. It is set at zero.]
FELIX: Ready. Set. Go!
[The timer begins counting. and the four contestants pick a container and start eating as quickly as they can.]
FELIX: Go! Go! Go! (Clapping and yelling.) One minute down on the clock!
You’re winning Phillip! Go Madison!
[A buzzer sounds and Felix walks over to Phillip.]
FELIX: Congratulations Phillip! You’ve won!
PHILLIP: (Raises arms in celebration. Has berries all over mouth.) Yes!
FELIX: (Turns towards audience.) Another happy contestant! We’ll be right back-
[Carter clutches his stomach and starts to cough. He doubles over and falls on the floor. Madison runs over to aide him. Felix turns around to see what is happening and turns back.]
MADISON: Are you okay?
[Carter starts to cough heavily.]
FELIX: (Laughs nervously.) As I was saying. We’ll be right back after these-
MADISON: No! This game is over. Somebody call an ambulance.
FELIX: (Shifts his weight nervously and tries to end the show.) We’ll be right-
MADISON: Somebody get an ambulance! (Holding Carter.)
[Carter falls on his back and coughs violently.]
FELIX: (Nervously and quickly.) We’ll be right back! (Does a cutting motion
across his neck towards the side of the stage to indicate the show to stop running.)
[The On the Air sign goes off.]
FELIX: (Runs over to Madison and begins yelling and pointing his finger at her.)
Don’t you ever interrupt me on my show! This is unacceptable!
MADISON: Carter is dying! Shut up and get an ambulance!
FELIX: Don’t you ever interrupt me! (Slaps Madison in the face.)
[Madison falls on the floor and looks up at Felix terrified. She clutches her face. Felix is fuming; clenching his fists, and has a look of extreme anger on his face. Rob and Jake creep closer to the action to get a better view. Jake points his camera at Felix.]
MADISON: (Stands up slowly.) That’s enough! I quit!
PHILLIP: (Helps Carter stand up.) Me too! I quit!
BROOKE: I quit also!
[Madison, Phillip, and Brooke help pick up carter who is coughing violently and drag him out.]
FELIX: (Pointing his finger and yelling.) Fine! Quit! I don’t care! I don’t need you! (Looks at Rob and Jake who are sitting and filming him.) Out! Get out right now or I’ll call the cops!
[Rob and Jake leaves walking backwards so they can film Felix as the leave. After they exit Felix angrily yells and hits one of the containers. Berries spill on the floor.]
Act 1
Scene 4
Scene: The scene is in a hospital bedroom. Carter is lying in the middle of the room in a hospital bed with all the other contestants around him.
[Enter Rob and Jake with Jake’s camera on his shoulder.]
ROB: Hi guys!
ALL CONTESTANTS: Hi Rob!
ROB: I’m glad to see Carter getting better.
MADISON: He could have died! It’s a good thing we got him out.
ROB How ya’ feeling Carter?
CARTER: I’m feeling okay today. I should be getting out of here in a day or so.
ROB: Have you heard the news?
CARTER: What news?
ROB: Felix Stone is getting investigated and will probably end up in jail soon.
You guys could probably all make well over the game’s prize money in a lawsuit.
[Everybody cheers and high fives. The scene goes dark and the contestants all freeze while there is light on Jake and Rob while Rob gives the final synopsis of the show.]
ROB: (Looking at the camera.) It turns out that reality T.V. isn’t as “real” as it’s
cracked up to be. From hunger, to gluttony, to being poisoned these contestants went through a lot. It turned out the only Glutton was Felix, a glutton for money and power. Thank you for tuning in on our documentary on reality T.V. See you next time when we do a documentary on the family life of professional terrorists. This is Rob and Jake signing out. Goodbye!
[Curtain falls.]
[The End.]
CAST:
FELIX: Felix is the middle aged and intimidating producer.
ROB: Rob is a gentle man who is the director of the documentary.
CARTER: One of the blond male contestants on the show
ALICIA: The intimidating manager of the T.V. show.
PHILLIP: One of the dark haired male contestants on the show.
MADISON: A pretty blond contestant on the show
BROOKE: A pretty brown haired contestant on the show.
JAKE: The camera man for Rob.
Cast Size: Five men and three women.
Time: During the shooting of the T.V. show “Who’s the Glutton?”
Place: On the house set of “Who’s the Glutton?”
Length: Two acts, five scenes, one intermission.
Draft: Final Draft 4/05/05
Act 1
Scene 1
Scene: There is an acting set with furniture that represents a living room. On the couches are sitting Carter, Phillip, Madison, and Brooke. In the middle of the two couches is a fireplace in the background and in the front in the middle is a table with food. In the corner of the room is a light up sign that says On the Air. It is all dark now and in the middle stand two figures illuminated by the spotlight.
[Jake is standing with a camera on his shoulder pointed at Rob. Rob is facing the camera and speaking. They are the only two on the stage that have light on them.]
ROB: (Smiling with hands outstretched.) Are you on?
[Jake nods up and down and gives thumbs up.]
ROB: (Coughs and clears throat.) Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to the secret life of reality T.V. (Takes several steps to the left while facing the camera.) The reality T.V. world has enthralled us all. From the Real World to Road Rules to Survivor, they have all captured the attention of millions around the world. Today we will take a step into the real world behind reality T.V. We will be taping the creation of the new and upcoming show “Who’s the Glutton?” created by producer, director, and host Felix Stone. We will take you behind the scenes to see the production of this new and exciting show. Sit back and enjoy the scene unfold. (Stretches out arm towards Felix standing in the middle of the stage facing the audience. Jake points the camera past Rob focused at Felix. Felix is dressed in a fancy suit.)
[Lights dim on Rob and Jake on the left side of the stage as they tape the scene unfolding before them. Lights flash on everybody on the rest of the stage which reveals the scenery. The On Air sign in the corner of the room lights up and the spotlight shines on Felix.]
FELIX: (Smiles confidently and speaks in a loud booming voice with his arms outstretched towards the audience.) Welcome to the show where survival doesn’t just happen in the wild but right in your own living room. Food is the necessity of all life and here the fight will be for food. Welcome to the premier episode of Who’s the Glutton! (Dramatic music begins to play and the lights flash brighter.) We have four contestants which have all agreed to abide by the rules of the game. The way this game works is that each of the contestants will have to compete for food. The contestant who has either gained the most or lost the least weight by the end of the season will have won. They will have to eat disgusting things, go through challenging physical tests, and mind games all for a little bit of food to satisfy their gluttony. The winner will get two hundred thousand dollars! How far will they go? Let’s meet the contestants. (Motions hand behind him to where the contestants are.)
PHILLIP: (Stands up and spotlight shines on him and goes off Felix.) Hi I’m Phillip Smith and I’m an accountant from Youngstown, Ohio. I weigh one hundred eighty pounds. (Sits back down.)
CARTER: (Stands up and spotlight shines on him and goes off Phillip.) Hi I’m Carter Johnson and I’m a surgeon from Las Vegan, Nevada. I weigh one hundred seventy pounds. (Sits back down.)
MADISON: (Stands up and spotlight shine on her and goes off Carter.) Hi I’m Madison Newsly and I’m a personal trainer from Boston, Massachusets. I weigh one hundred seven pounds. (Sits back down.)
BROOKE: (Stands up and spotlight shine on her and goes off Madison.) Hi I’m Brooke Bartlet and I’m a writer from Miami, Florida. I weigh one hundred twenty one pounds. (Sits back down and spotlight shines back to Felix.)
FELIX: (Smiling fakely.) There you have our four contestants. Now they will have their last meal.
[Spotlight shines on the table covered in food. The contestants begin eating.]
FELIX: (Turned towards the contestants.) Eat up! It may be your last! (Turning back towards he audience.) We’ll be back right after these messages.
[The On Air sign turns off.]
FELIX: (In a much harsher and meaner tone than before.) Eat up! Hurry up we have to shoot again in twenty minutes. We’re on a tight schedule! (Turns towards right of stage and yells.) Somebody do my makeup! I need someone here right now! (Stomps off and exits towards right. Contestants glance at eachother.)
ROB: (Walks over with Jake and Jake’s camera to Phillip. Shoves a microphone in Phillip’s face and points camera at him while he continues to eat.) So Phillip… Why did you decide to sign up for this show?
PHILLIP: (Speaking with his mouth full and looking at Jake’s camera.) It’s not everyday you get offered to get eat for money.
ROB: What do you think about it after you’ve had your first shooting?
PHILLIP: (Pausing for a moment to think.) It’ll be tough, but how can I go wrong by eating.
ROB: Thank you Phillip. (Walks over to Madison. Madison is chewing and she holds her hand in front of her face and waves it as if to show that she can’t talk. Walks over to Carter and puts microphone in his face.) Well Carter, being a cardiac surgeon, do you think this will be bad for your health?
CARTER: (Putting down a chicken wing that he was holding. Clears his throat.) In short periods of time losing or gaining a substantial amount of weight can be harmful in the long run but it’s nothing two hundred thousand dollars can’t fix.
PHILLIP: (Putting down a cheeseburger for a moment.) Amen!
FELIX: (Only voice heard yelling angrily from right of stage.) Ten minutes! This is reality T.V. and not Disney World!
ROB: (Walks over to Brooke with Jake.) If you could say anything to your family right now, what would it be?
BROOKE: (Waves quickly and happily.) Hi Mom! Hi Dad! I’m alright! Don’t worry about me cuz I’m comin’ home with two hundred G’s! (Raises fist triumphantly towards the camera and laughs.)
ROB: (Stands straight and looks towards camera.) Well there you have it. Although seemingly apprehensive, they are all hopeful as the show goes on.
[Scene ends and stage goes dark.]
Act 1
Scene 2
Scene: The scene is a room with four tanks with beetles in them in the middle of the room. Each contestant is standing beside one of the tanks and Felix is standing in the middle of the room facing the audience. The On Air sign is in the corner. Rob and Jake are standing in the corner of the stage filming everything for their documentary.
[The On Air sign lights up.]
FELIX: (Standing in the middle with his hands at his side and speaking in a loud voice.) Welcome back to “Who’s the Glutton?”! Right now we are just getting ready to have our first contest. In these containers (Spotlight shines on containers.) are ten pounds of harmless Japanese beetles. Weighing at a hefty three ounces each there should be a lot of meat. The contestants will try to eat as much as they can in five minutes without using their hands without spilling any beetles out. The more beetles the contestants get, the more points the contestant gets, which translates into more food for them. Five minutes on the clock. (A clock appears from the back which has five minutes on it.)
[The contestants walk up to each container with their hands tied behind their backs. They are making gruesome faces at the beetles to show their disgust in their meal.]
FELIX: Begin! (Throwing his hands up.)
[The clock starts to count down and the contestants jam their heads into the containers and eat quickly.]
FELIX: Go Carter! You’re ahead! (Waits a minute.) You’re coming up close behind Brooke! (Claps.) C’mon Carter you’re falling behind! (Laughs and claps.)
[The buzzer sounds as the time runs out.]
FELIX: Good job contestants. (Walks over to Brooke and holds her hand up in triumph.) You are the winner Brooke. It looks like you’ll be eating handsomely tonight. Ten thousand dollars has also been added to your bank account. Congratulations! (Turns to the audience and give a warm smile.) Thanks for tuning in. We’ll see you next week on “Who’s the Glutton?” Where we find out who can deal with eating and who can’t.
[The On the Air sign goes out.]
FELIX: (Yells as warm smile turns to disgusted face.) Who wrote this script!? This game is boring! (Looking around and speaking loudly and accusatorily.) Who would want to watch this crap! Next shoot we’re goanna beef it up. (Stomps out to the right of the stage and exits.)
ROB: (Looking at Jake and whispering.) You got that on tape?
JAKE: (Nods his head as he smokes a cigarette.) Yup.
ROB: Good.
[Curtain falls.]
[Intermission.]
Act 2
Scene 1
Scene: The scene is the office of Felix. There is a desk in the middle and a computer at the desk. Around him are billboards with papers on them. Rob and Jake are sitting in chairs in front of Felix’s desk. Rob is interviewing him and Jake has the camera pointed at him. Felix has his legs on his desk and is throwing up a rubber ball in the air. He seems disinterested.
ROB: (Writing down notes on a notepad.) And how long again did you say you’ve been in the entertainment business?
FELIX: (Catching his rubber ball in one hand.) O umm.. about sixteen years now. I worked with the original survivor. I even worked with the guys of the old T.V. show M.A.S.H.
ROB: I see. (Continuing to jot down notes.) How long has this show been in your head?
FELIX: O, about two years. At first, we were going to set it in the wild, but we thought it might be too risky. I wish we did now.
ROB: And why is that? (Leaning forward.)
FELIX: Can you turn that thing off?
ROB: Sure. (Taps Jake on the leg so it’s only visible to the audience.) It’s off.
FELIX: Why is the red light still on? (Pointing questionably at the camera.)
ROB: O that just means it still has tape in it.
FELIX: Well Rob. I wish we had set this show in the wild. It’s just too damn boring when it’s in set in a living room setting. Nobody will watch this show the way it is. It’s too bland. It’s not cutting edge. I need complete control of it. I need to make it beyond what the public has ever seen before.
ROB: (Writing down more notes.) Wow that’s very impressive Mr. Stone. (Pauses a moment.) Now what’s your opinion on the not so very real reality T.V. show.
FELIX: (Stops throwing the ball and takes feet off desk. Leans in close to Rob and squints eyes.) What do you mean it’s not real? It’s completely real. (Begins to raise voice slowly.) Everything here is real. The contests are real! It’s all real. No more questions like that. Believe me it’s a-
[Alicia bursts in looking angry. She is a brunette and she is wearing a sport coat and a wireless cell phone attached to her head. She is holding a newspaper and walking quickly.]
ALICIA: (Enter Alicia. She interrupts Felix and slams the newspaper down on his desk.) Look in the entertainment section.
FELIX: (Sarcastically while flipping through the pages.) Good to see you too Alicia.
ALICIA: Shut up. I don’t care if you want a hello. You work for me remember.
FELIX: (Speaking loudly.) Big Flop! (Becoming angry.) What is this!
ALICIA: You tell me Felix! What is it? Why does the paper say we are a big flop when you say all the shootings are going great? Since the show premiered two months ago our ratings have steadily dropped each episode.
FELIX: Blame those damn writers! Blame the camera man! (Pounding his fist on his desk.) This is all wrong! We have to try something new. (Looks at Jake and Rob angrily. Throws a book off his desk.) Get out! I don’t need you pestering me right now!
ROB: But-
FELIX: (Pointing his finger to the right.) Get out.
ROB: (Still having Jake point the camera at him.) We have a contract!
FELIX: (Using force to push them out as they continue to tape him.) Out!
We need to try something different. (Sits back down and folds his arms.)
ALICIA: (Sits down where Rob was sitting.) And what do you propose?
FELIX: I need you to give me full control.
ALICIA: You got if you think you’re on to something. The ratings are dropping and our viewers are leaving us.
FELIX: We’re just too boring and I know exactly what to do. (Stands up.) We’re going to raise the stakes. We’re going to make the show a little bit more daring. (Raising his voice.) I don’t care if it’s controversial. I will make this work.
Act 2
Scene 2
Scene: The scene is a lounge with leather couches and a television in it. The four contestants are sitting on the couches and Rob and Jake are interviewing them. They all look fatigued and reasonably skinnier.
[The scenery in the background is all dark and there is only a single light on Jake and Rob as Rob gives his synopsis of the show to the camera.]
ROB: (Holding a microphone and speaking to the camera.) It has been three weeks now. The contestants are dreaming of a full dinner as they have to fight their way to the refrigerator. All the stability of a television show isn’t quite the reality of the show backstage. The contestants are becoming disgruntled and hungry. Phillip passed out last week. How long will they put up with it before the weak give up and a winner is found?
[Light comes on illuminating the background making the couches and the contestants visible. They are watching Television.]
ROB: (Making a head movement towards the contestants.) Let’s see how they’re feeling now. (Walks towards Brooke.) Brooke, how are you feeling after several weeks of competition and famine?
BROOKE: (Sighs.) Ughhh… I don’t know how much more I can take.
ROB: How does it make you feel knowing that ratings have dropped considerably since the first episode?
BROOKE: (Laughs.) Wow, that makes me feel absolutely great. (Taps Madison on the arm.) You hear that? Ratings have gone way down?
MADISON: (Puts hand to mouth in shock.) What!? Are you serious? This is enough. Two weeks we’ve been going crazy. We have to do something. I will not sit through my life being threatened by a television company that might go under.
[Alicia bursts in wearing a headset telephone and carrying a clipboard.]
ALICIA: (Speaking loudly and quickly.) You guys have five minutes to get to the makeup department. Get over there now!
MADISON: (With a face of disgust.) What’s the competition today?
ALICIA: (Glances at her clipboard and flips through several pages and starts to read from a page.) Ummm. The contestants have to choose from several bins of berries to choose from. One of the bins is poisonous. The contestant that has eaten the most berries wins a full five course meal and ten thousand dollars. (Looks up from the clipboard.) This ought to be a fun one. Felix designed this one himself. (Claps her hands to get attention.) Okay! Let’s get ready. C’mon! (Exits.)
MADISON: (Looks around at the contestants.) Did you hear that!? One of us could die!
[Rob walks over to question Carter.]
ROB: What do you think about this?
CARTER: This isn’t fair! This is just too dangerous to be a game anymore. Phillip hasn’t eaten in almost a week. This isn’t reality, this is dangerous.
ROB: (Turns to camera.) As the contestants get hungry they get angry. The next shooting is coming up and we’ll see what happens.
Act 2
Scene 3
Scene: The scene is the filming stage. The On the Air sign is off. In the middle of the room are four containers each containing four more containers of berries. The four contestants are standing by the containers looking apprehensive. Felix is standing in the middle of the stage facing the audience. Rob and Jake are standing on the left corner of the stage filming everything. Alicia is in the corner of the stage giving a countdown to being on air.
FELIX: What is that smell!? (Holding his nose.) That’s absolutely putrid.
ALICIA: Calm down Felix it’s the berries. We’re going on in fifty seconds.
FELIX: God! Some one could have gotten better smelling berries. (Fixes his tie.)
How do I look?
ALICIA: You look great. Twenty seconds.
FELIX: I don’t know how I’m going to shoot this with those berries around. This better be worth it
ALICA: (Edges off the stage while using her fingers to show how many seconds.) Five-
FELIX: This better be good. That smells awful.
ALICIA: Four-
Three-
Two-
One-
[The On the Air sign lights up.]
FELIX: (Quickly changes his face of disgust to a smile.) Hello again and welcome to another episode of “Who’s the Glutton?”! We’d like to welcome back our contestants Brooke, Madison, Carter, and Phillip. Today we’ll be raising the stakes a little. In front of each contestant are four containers that hold berries. The contestants will have to pick one of the containers and the first contestant to eat all the berries in the container will win. There is a catch though. One of the containers of berries is poisonous. Let’s begin the contest. Lower the clock.
[A large timing clock appears from the ceiling. It is set at zero.]
FELIX: Ready. Set. Go!
[The timer begins counting. and the four contestants pick a container and start eating as quickly as they can.]
FELIX: Go! Go! Go! (Clapping and yelling.) One minute down on the clock!
You’re winning Phillip! Go Madison!
[A buzzer sounds and Felix walks over to Phillip.]
FELIX: Congratulations Phillip! You’ve won!
PHILLIP: (Raises arms in celebration. Has berries all over mouth.) Yes!
FELIX: (Turns towards audience.) Another happy contestant! We’ll be right back-
[Carter clutches his stomach and starts to cough. He doubles over and falls on the floor. Madison runs over to aide him. Felix turns around to see what is happening and turns back.]
MADISON: Are you okay?
[Carter starts to cough heavily.]
FELIX: (Laughs nervously.) As I was saying. We’ll be right back after these-
MADISON: No! This game is over. Somebody call an ambulance.
FELIX: (Shifts his weight nervously and tries to end the show.) We’ll be right-
MADISON: Somebody get an ambulance! (Holding Carter.)
[Carter falls on his back and coughs violently.]
FELIX: (Nervously and quickly.) We’ll be right back! (Does a cutting motion
across his neck towards the side of the stage to indicate the show to stop running.)
[The On the Air sign goes off.]
FELIX: (Runs over to Madison and begins yelling and pointing his finger at her.)
Don’t you ever interrupt me on my show! This is unacceptable!
MADISON: Carter is dying! Shut up and get an ambulance!
FELIX: Don’t you ever interrupt me! (Slaps Madison in the face.)
[Madison falls on the floor and looks up at Felix terrified. She clutches her face. Felix is fuming; clenching his fists, and has a look of extreme anger on his face. Rob and Jake creep closer to the action to get a better view. Jake points his camera at Felix.]
MADISON: (Stands up slowly.) That’s enough! I quit!
PHILLIP: (Helps Carter stand up.) Me too! I quit!
BROOKE: I quit also!
[Madison, Phillip, and Brooke help pick up carter who is coughing violently and drag him out.]
FELIX: (Pointing his finger and yelling.) Fine! Quit! I don’t care! I don’t need you! (Looks at Rob and Jake who are sitting and filming him.) Out! Get out right now or I’ll call the cops!
[Rob and Jake leaves walking backwards so they can film Felix as the leave. After they exit Felix angrily yells and hits one of the containers. Berries spill on the floor.]
Act 1
Scene 4
Scene: The scene is in a hospital bedroom. Carter is lying in the middle of the room in a hospital bed with all the other contestants around him.
[Enter Rob and Jake with Jake’s camera on his shoulder.]
ROB: Hi guys!
ALL CONTESTANTS: Hi Rob!
ROB: I’m glad to see Carter getting better.
MADISON: He could have died! It’s a good thing we got him out.
ROB How ya’ feeling Carter?
CARTER: I’m feeling okay today. I should be getting out of here in a day or so.
ROB: Have you heard the news?
CARTER: What news?
ROB: Felix Stone is getting investigated and will probably end up in jail soon.
You guys could probably all make well over the game’s prize money in a lawsuit.
[Everybody cheers and high fives. The scene goes dark and the contestants all freeze while there is light on Jake and Rob while Rob gives the final synopsis of the show.]
ROB: (Looking at the camera.) It turns out that reality T.V. isn’t as “real” as it’s
cracked up to be. From hunger, to gluttony, to being poisoned these contestants went through a lot. It turned out the only Glutton was Felix, a glutton for money and power. Thank you for tuning in on our documentary on reality T.V. See you next time when we do a documentary on the family life of professional terrorists. This is Rob and Jake signing out. Goodbye!
[Curtain falls.]
[The End.]