A post from my old LJ for my convenience.....
This is a cross-posting from poetryheaven mostly for my own convenience.
A rather large collection of poetry I've written in LJ over the past couple years. Stuff about love, anger, sadness, addiction, and other random subjects. I've alternated each poem bold and normal so you can see where one ends and one begins... Hope someone reads and enjoys! :D
You are
The breath of life
Keeping me alive
As life's pain struggles to suffocate me
You are
The gentle flame
Keeping me warm
As life's cold reality threatens to freeze me
Your caress is
My sole hope
When life's razor edge bleeds me
Your soft kiss is
The only thing worth remembering
When I forget life's brutal beating
And your eyes are
Like glittering gems lighting the way
When darkness surrounds me
I've travelled vast expanses
Of lonely desert
Dehydrated of all hope
Too dry for tears
Then you appeared
Like a mirage
Amongst the dunes of my isolation
Too good to be true
Yet true
A miracle amongst my sullen dispair
You saved me
Gave me precious life
When death of hope was near
I'll be alone nevermore
I've seen you only my dream's eye....
But I know you.
I feel you.
I love you.
I've touched you only in visions fantasy
But I know your skins softness
I feel your gentle persuasion
And I love you
I've never been here before
But I know this is bliss
Feeling so good must be criminal
But I love you.
The well of my heart overflows
Joy pouring forth
Drenching me
I'm drowning in my love for you
And don't want to be saved
Leave me as a victim
I won't die alone
You mock my love
But your words sting so sweetly
That I can't get enough
You stomp my heart in to the ground
But its last beat is only for you
My last breath to say your name once more
I can't live even a moment
Without the torture of
Your playful avoidance
And I know,
I'd be so woefully incomplete
Without the damage that you inflict
The graceful agony that you bring
Without You
The glow of your smile
Keeps sleep away through
Endless nights without you
I wish you only knew
How hard I fight to breath
When I'm without you
How incomplete I am
When you're gone
I'll always be alone,
Without you
Can't raise my lips to smile
Without your energy
I try to speak, but can't make a sound
When I'm without you
All meaning disappears,
All my hope turns to fears
When I'm without you
To Tell You
I wanted to tell you
That not a single breath escapes my lips
Without thoughts of you
I wanted to tell you
That I see your eyes
In the darkness when mine are shut
I wanted to tell you
That once I felt alone
But now my love for you is my companion
I'd like to tell you these things
But the words just won't slip out
I'd like to tell you about the fear in my soul
When I think about a sweet confession to you
And the chance of your unrequited response
So I hold my words
I just can't tell you yet
Once upon a time,
There was this boy who lived a quaint existence
Of unfulfilled dreams and fantasies.
He spent his days in a lost anticipation....
Then one day,
He met an angel who had come to earth
To exist amongst the living.
Her eyes shone like the most brilliant emeralds,
And in her hair,
The golden radiance of the sun blazed forth.
Kingdoms fell before her smile,
And mountains were moved with her breath.
The boy wrote words of his enchantment.
He wrote songs about the ebb and flow
Of the tides of his emotions
That rose and fell with her movements.
And he wrote about her spirit,
Which seemed to haunt the deepest absesses
Of his desires.
His longing spread through every fiber in his body,
And became a beautiful agony,
Which consumed him
The time came,
When the pain of his longins
Threatened to eat him alive.
So he told the angel of his love for her.
The angel was frightened by the intenst fire
That surrounded his passion,
And she flew back in to the heavens.
The boy began to cry,
And great oceans were formed of his tears.
As the waters rose,
The boy drowned in his sorrow,
And his spirit was swept away.
He met her again in the formless void,
And they locked each other
In an infinite embrace.
Their passion burned bright,
And became a star whose brilliance
Could not be outdone by Polaris herself.
And there they stayed,
Suspended through all time
Til the end.
Your voice leaves behind
Sweet melody
Ringing through me
Sof notes of gentle persuasion
They stay in my soul
Rolling through me
I can't see, can't hear
The world disappears
To the soundtrack of your sweet impression
No less than heaven's choir,
The song conspires to control me
Drowning my breath
Nothing left to surrender
I'm rendered helpless and tender
Can't stop remembering the rapture of your words
Innocent,
Though your absense murders me
And I'm the one put to trial
My confession of longing
Seals my fate
Now I'm sentenced
To the imprisonment of my adoration
And you'll never let me out
Vision
I had a vision of you
There we were, nestled in the sanctuary of our embrace
As the blazing dipped through the parted clouds, and sank beneath the horizon
You held me in your arms, like an angel sent to save me from time itself
I looked in to the vast oceans of your eyes
And all that once held meaning washed away
Heavens rose and fell with your breath
My universe slipped in to nothingness
Floating through the endless blanket of space
I felt weightless in your arms
And the touch of destiny in your kiss
Can't Forget
Swimming in and out of my psyche
With a splash this gentle feeling surrounds me
Now I'm floating, I can't feel a thing
All I see is the bliss that you bring
Like a song I can't shake from my mind
Can't forget you no matter how hard I try
That beauty in your eyes
That gentleness in your kiss
From you I can't hide
Your gaze will never miss
Your love keeps me warm when it's cold out there
The memory of you heats me up everywhere
I'm spinning, I've lost all control
My vision is blurring, I can't escape form this hole
You're the drug that keeps me insane
And I can't shake your presense from my brain
I've seen this before
She enters my dreams
Like a silent stalker
Weaving in and out of my defenses
She slips in, and steals my breath
I'm suffocating,
Yet I feel as if I'm living for the first time
She's a ghost
And I'm visited by her spirit,
Night after night,
I chase her apparition
But ever does she dissappear,
In to the depths of my desire
Allay me with your tormenting gaze
The catharsis of your piercing eyes
Feeling tenderly alone
In vast expanses of tearful oceans
Of lonely adoration
I melt away
Even with your back turned
I can feel the comforting pain
Of your presence
The scar of delerium
Burned into my eyes
Sunflowers dancing feel real
Blow me a sunkissed kiss
And your soul I shall steal
Let me bask in the moon's silver grace
Sing my sorrowful incrimination
As the trees in the darkness
Wear their shadows upon their face
Newsreel
Numbers, filthy numbers
Raining down on populations
Statistics, quotas, and quotients
The number of people killed
On the subway last night is five times
The percent chance of
Being raped, stabbed, beaten, and mugged
While buying groceries
The number of homes consumed in raging fires
Last week is astonishing,
As are the demographics
Of young boys buying slut magazines
Moving forward,
Ratios, graphs, and economic reports
I see that more people died from
Vicious elephant tramp lings last year
Than from car crashes
Caused by thinking and driving
As for figures digits and numerals
Ten thousand dead
Another twenty dying
And another fifty crying
Another hundred who never knew, cared, or wished to hear
And in other news
More decimal points
In all the wrong places
Which brings our figures up to
Nineteen flash floods yesterday
Sixty five monsoons
Thirty something mudslides
Seven sinkholes
And over a dozen combined
Random acts of violence,
Instances of deliberate vandalism and wanton practical jokes
Bringing our body count to astronomical proportions
And in addition,
Five hundred thousand jobs lost last night
With twice as many teen suicides
And speaking of suicide,
Tomorrow is gonna be a killer!
Up next, the weather
Thank you, and sleep well.
Solitary Dinner
The table is set for two
Yet I dine alone
Candles slowly flicker away
Chandaliers light always blue
Wine in the bottle sits half gone
Tears splatter an empty plate
Only sounds are echoes
Through the curtains comes the dawn
You are no longer
Just another pile
Of nerves, skin, muscle and bone,
But a bundle of emotion,
Feeling
I can see your thoughts
Fear
Love
Empathy
Your energy is beautiful
Your soul is fragile
Delicate
Full of fire
I'm a welcome reciever
With open arms,
I accept your consciousness
Embrace my mind
As I hold you close to mine
Silver starlet
Another line and you're back
In the spotlight
Red eyes and runny nose
You loathe the morning
That brings end to dreams of Sunset Strip
Drip
Drip
Drip
Give me the strength
To guide this knife to its proper place
And where the fuck is my mirror
And my credit card?
Don't look at me like that
I'm beautiful
It's snowing in my world
And I'm the white queen
I feel lonely
I feel pain
I think I'm gonna die again
It comes in the morning
Death that is
Creeping through my soft stomach
Burrowing through my belly
Tearing my soul apart
Feasting on my nerves
Eating me alive
Senses awry
I can't even cry
Why fucking why!?
I don't want to scream
But it's all I really have now
With the words all gone
No thoughts coming through
No radiance shining
No beautiful fucking music
No peace
No rapture
None of your goddamn salvation
Or mental rejuvination
It's all gone
Just a couple of loose ends
And lingering echoes
Newsreel
Numbers, filthy numbers
Raining down on populations
Statistics, quotas, and quotients
The number of people killed
On the subway last night is five times
The percent chance of
Being raped, stabbed, beaten, and mugged
While buying groceries
The number of homes consumed in raging fires
Last week is astonishing,
As are the demographics
Of young boys buying slut magazines
Moving forward,
Ratios, graphs, and economic reports
I see that more people died from
Vicious elephant tramp lings last year
Than from car crashes
Caused by thinking and driving
As for figures digits and numerals
Ten thousand dead
Another twenty dying
And another fifty crying
Another hundred who never knew, cared, or wished to hear
And in other news
More decimal points
In all the wrong places
Which brings our figures up to
Nineteen flash floods yesterday
Sixty five monsoons
Thirty something mudslides
Seven sinkholes
And over a dozen combined
Random acts of violence,
Instances of deliberate vandalism and wanton practical jokes
Bringing our body count to astronomical proportions
And in addition,
Five hundred thousand jobs lost last night
With twice as many teen suicides
And speaking of suicide,
Tomorrow is gonna be a killer!
Up next, the weather
Thank you, and sleep well.
Burning Flies
Puking in a random gutter at 6 am
I find proverbial truth
In the streetlamp
Hanging over my head
Flies buzzing around glowing prospects
Their wings seared by boundless ambition
Yet intentions to touch the brightness
Remain unmarred
The scorched bodies of fallen comrades
Flutter earthbound in deathly silence
Quandrary
You wake up one morning
To find tears stained
On your bedsheet
Setting your hand down
In the middle of a puddle of sadness
The reason remains resoundingly unclear
Perhaps it was last night
That happenstance glance
That chance glimpse
Of that whore
Illuminated by a street corner lamp
Like the unwitting star
On the centerstage of desperation
Selling her soul for wooden nickels
Or maybe the source of those tears
Are thoughts of missles
Being launched as you dream away
Reducing cities to smoldering nothingness
Leaving nothing but ashes and ghosts
Maybe you cry
For your neighbor
Struggling to survive
While those corporate fucking pigs
Greedily feed
Or maybe you cry
For that teenage cokehead
Her sweet sixteenth was a silver plate
And a couple of bleeding wrists.....
As these questions race through
Your mind
The question of why you cried last night
Is most likely misplaced
A better thing to ask yourself
Concerns the mornings
You woke up dry
Feeling and connection exist
As byproducts of vision
By sculpting bits of
Unfleshed characters
We impart impulsing thoughts
And disperse emotion
Throughout the embracing
Emptiness of the universe
Florentine visions shroud the darkness
Embracing dark unknowing with its gentle light
Like Pompei's eruption
The seering magma melting the way
Burning old ground in its wake
Leaving scathing soil for new dreams
And left behind,
Wanderers, visionaries,
Cobblers and quiltmakers
A new renaissance
Of dying ideas
I feel hastey in my apologies
It seems at times
The only conclusion
To ease the agony
Of infinite grudges and venom
Perhaps all I have learned
In this brief existence
To be a pupil of all things
Bringing ease
To the tension of being
Finding grace
And utter tranquility
Amidst the backwards
Motions of the mind
Was I so naive
To show my back to you?
Standing like a helpless child
While you ran the blade through
To believe that I was safe
From those knives in your eyes
And to think that I was fooled
By your innocent disguise
And to think I still feel this way
To think I still fucking feel for you
Wherever you are.....
My heart bleeds true
In a flurry of wind and feathers
Fluttering earthbound
Slightest breeze
Carrying wayward travelers
To distant imagination
Journey to boundless distance
And as the carriages
Of impending happenstance,
Speeding away,
Begin to halt
The wheels cease their motions round
End of endless journeys
Wondering
Where can we be found?
Can’t You See?
Can’t you see me struggling
To turn my back on you?
Cant you see that what I’d like now
Is to know that we were through
Then why now do I linger
Always tryin to hold my ground
Hoping for that final kiss
Even though you’re not around
Why do I try to start anew
Picking pieces of my soul up off the floor
Just to search for them again
As you slice my heart in two
Can’t you see me fading away
Does it tear you up inside?
Does it fill you up with sadness
Or swell you up with pride
And as you stand there disconnected
Can’t you see the tears in my eyes
Or maybe it was always me
Couldn’t see a blessing in disguise
Desire
To hear the quiet harmony of devotion
Yearning for the beauty of that song
To know the touch of passions many
To smell the blossoming
Of an endless field of time
To touch the serenity that resides
In the clarity of dreams fulfilled
To feel the flames of a gentle kiss
Kindled by waves
Of deeply running
Desire
Within an Earthquake
Unstoppable impending catastrophe
Impulses wavering
Dimensional rifts splitting open
All consciousness
Seeping into the darkness
Percieving eyes illuminate the void
Of inner rage
No reconcile
Loveless passion
Crazily clawing the door
Blocking unreachable salvation
Shutting out the pleasuring peace
I see red stars dance
ANGST
I am angry now
and have been
for so long
i can hardly remember
times of grace
and laughter anymore
I feel a crimson fury
towards your glamour and glitz
your martini parties and faceless models
your mundane fucking existence
and your fuckin streets
covered in grease stains and filth and tears
and blood and vomit and cum and
the aspirations of simple men
I hold a burning rage
for your crosses
and your books
your statues
your filthy angels, saints and martyrs
and all your routines mired by
fear and self pity
unaware of ever present self loathing
unaware of fucking unawareness
and I feel so goddamned sickened
by your fucking wars
your holocausts
and the cries of abortion babies,
wailing for your whores
and your fuckin cokeheads and junkies
your fuckin poverty
your guns knives and sextoys
and your buildings
standing in false fuckin resiliance
rotting from the inside out
and for your fuckin movie stars
your casinos
and your fist-fucking corporate executives
your teenage overdosers and wrist slitters
and all your bubblegum fuckin pop-music
and for the smiles created amidst
this cesspool of human fucking nature
A rather large collection of poetry I've written in LJ over the past couple years. Stuff about love, anger, sadness, addiction, and other random subjects. I've alternated each poem bold and normal so you can see where one ends and one begins... Hope someone reads and enjoys! :D
You are
The breath of life
Keeping me alive
As life's pain struggles to suffocate me
You are
The gentle flame
Keeping me warm
As life's cold reality threatens to freeze me
Your caress is
My sole hope
When life's razor edge bleeds me
Your soft kiss is
The only thing worth remembering
When I forget life's brutal beating
And your eyes are
Like glittering gems lighting the way
When darkness surrounds me
I've travelled vast expanses
Of lonely desert
Dehydrated of all hope
Too dry for tears
Then you appeared
Like a mirage
Amongst the dunes of my isolation
Too good to be true
Yet true
A miracle amongst my sullen dispair
You saved me
Gave me precious life
When death of hope was near
I'll be alone nevermore
I've seen you only my dream's eye....
But I know you.
I feel you.
I love you.
I've touched you only in visions fantasy
But I know your skins softness
I feel your gentle persuasion
And I love you
I've never been here before
But I know this is bliss
Feeling so good must be criminal
But I love you.
The well of my heart overflows
Joy pouring forth
Drenching me
I'm drowning in my love for you
And don't want to be saved
Leave me as a victim
I won't die alone
You mock my love
But your words sting so sweetly
That I can't get enough
You stomp my heart in to the ground
But its last beat is only for you
My last breath to say your name once more
I can't live even a moment
Without the torture of
Your playful avoidance
And I know,
I'd be so woefully incomplete
Without the damage that you inflict
The graceful agony that you bring
Without You
The glow of your smile
Keeps sleep away through
Endless nights without you
I wish you only knew
How hard I fight to breath
When I'm without you
How incomplete I am
When you're gone
I'll always be alone,
Without you
Can't raise my lips to smile
Without your energy
I try to speak, but can't make a sound
When I'm without you
All meaning disappears,
All my hope turns to fears
When I'm without you
To Tell You
I wanted to tell you
That not a single breath escapes my lips
Without thoughts of you
I wanted to tell you
That I see your eyes
In the darkness when mine are shut
I wanted to tell you
That once I felt alone
But now my love for you is my companion
I'd like to tell you these things
But the words just won't slip out
I'd like to tell you about the fear in my soul
When I think about a sweet confession to you
And the chance of your unrequited response
So I hold my words
I just can't tell you yet
Once upon a time,
There was this boy who lived a quaint existence
Of unfulfilled dreams and fantasies.
He spent his days in a lost anticipation....
Then one day,
He met an angel who had come to earth
To exist amongst the living.
Her eyes shone like the most brilliant emeralds,
And in her hair,
The golden radiance of the sun blazed forth.
Kingdoms fell before her smile,
And mountains were moved with her breath.
The boy wrote words of his enchantment.
He wrote songs about the ebb and flow
Of the tides of his emotions
That rose and fell with her movements.
And he wrote about her spirit,
Which seemed to haunt the deepest absesses
Of his desires.
His longing spread through every fiber in his body,
And became a beautiful agony,
Which consumed him
The time came,
When the pain of his longins
Threatened to eat him alive.
So he told the angel of his love for her.
The angel was frightened by the intenst fire
That surrounded his passion,
And she flew back in to the heavens.
The boy began to cry,
And great oceans were formed of his tears.
As the waters rose,
The boy drowned in his sorrow,
And his spirit was swept away.
He met her again in the formless void,
And they locked each other
In an infinite embrace.
Their passion burned bright,
And became a star whose brilliance
Could not be outdone by Polaris herself.
And there they stayed,
Suspended through all time
Til the end.
Your voice leaves behind
Sweet melody
Ringing through me
Sof notes of gentle persuasion
They stay in my soul
Rolling through me
I can't see, can't hear
The world disappears
To the soundtrack of your sweet impression
No less than heaven's choir,
The song conspires to control me
Drowning my breath
Nothing left to surrender
I'm rendered helpless and tender
Can't stop remembering the rapture of your words
Innocent,
Though your absense murders me
And I'm the one put to trial
My confession of longing
Seals my fate
Now I'm sentenced
To the imprisonment of my adoration
And you'll never let me out
Vision
I had a vision of you
There we were, nestled in the sanctuary of our embrace
As the blazing dipped through the parted clouds, and sank beneath the horizon
You held me in your arms, like an angel sent to save me from time itself
I looked in to the vast oceans of your eyes
And all that once held meaning washed away
Heavens rose and fell with your breath
My universe slipped in to nothingness
Floating through the endless blanket of space
I felt weightless in your arms
And the touch of destiny in your kiss
Can't Forget
Swimming in and out of my psyche
With a splash this gentle feeling surrounds me
Now I'm floating, I can't feel a thing
All I see is the bliss that you bring
Like a song I can't shake from my mind
Can't forget you no matter how hard I try
That beauty in your eyes
That gentleness in your kiss
From you I can't hide
Your gaze will never miss
Your love keeps me warm when it's cold out there
The memory of you heats me up everywhere
I'm spinning, I've lost all control
My vision is blurring, I can't escape form this hole
You're the drug that keeps me insane
And I can't shake your presense from my brain
I've seen this before
She enters my dreams
Like a silent stalker
Weaving in and out of my defenses
She slips in, and steals my breath
I'm suffocating,
Yet I feel as if I'm living for the first time
She's a ghost
And I'm visited by her spirit,
Night after night,
I chase her apparition
But ever does she dissappear,
In to the depths of my desire
Allay me with your tormenting gaze
The catharsis of your piercing eyes
Feeling tenderly alone
In vast expanses of tearful oceans
Of lonely adoration
I melt away
Even with your back turned
I can feel the comforting pain
Of your presence
The scar of delerium
Burned into my eyes
Sunflowers dancing feel real
Blow me a sunkissed kiss
And your soul I shall steal
Let me bask in the moon's silver grace
Sing my sorrowful incrimination
As the trees in the darkness
Wear their shadows upon their face
Newsreel
Numbers, filthy numbers
Raining down on populations
Statistics, quotas, and quotients
The number of people killed
On the subway last night is five times
The percent chance of
Being raped, stabbed, beaten, and mugged
While buying groceries
The number of homes consumed in raging fires
Last week is astonishing,
As are the demographics
Of young boys buying slut magazines
Moving forward,
Ratios, graphs, and economic reports
I see that more people died from
Vicious elephant tramp lings last year
Than from car crashes
Caused by thinking and driving
As for figures digits and numerals
Ten thousand dead
Another twenty dying
And another fifty crying
Another hundred who never knew, cared, or wished to hear
And in other news
More decimal points
In all the wrong places
Which brings our figures up to
Nineteen flash floods yesterday
Sixty five monsoons
Thirty something mudslides
Seven sinkholes
And over a dozen combined
Random acts of violence,
Instances of deliberate vandalism and wanton practical jokes
Bringing our body count to astronomical proportions
And in addition,
Five hundred thousand jobs lost last night
With twice as many teen suicides
And speaking of suicide,
Tomorrow is gonna be a killer!
Up next, the weather
Thank you, and sleep well.
Solitary Dinner
The table is set for two
Yet I dine alone
Candles slowly flicker away
Chandaliers light always blue
Wine in the bottle sits half gone
Tears splatter an empty plate
Only sounds are echoes
Through the curtains comes the dawn
You are no longer
Just another pile
Of nerves, skin, muscle and bone,
But a bundle of emotion,
Feeling
I can see your thoughts
Fear
Love
Empathy
Your energy is beautiful
Your soul is fragile
Delicate
Full of fire
I'm a welcome reciever
With open arms,
I accept your consciousness
Embrace my mind
As I hold you close to mine
Silver starlet
Another line and you're back
In the spotlight
Red eyes and runny nose
You loathe the morning
That brings end to dreams of Sunset Strip
Drip
Drip
Drip
Give me the strength
To guide this knife to its proper place
And where the fuck is my mirror
And my credit card?
Don't look at me like that
I'm beautiful
It's snowing in my world
And I'm the white queen
I feel lonely
I feel pain
I think I'm gonna die again
It comes in the morning
Death that is
Creeping through my soft stomach
Burrowing through my belly
Tearing my soul apart
Feasting on my nerves
Eating me alive
Senses awry
I can't even cry
Why fucking why!?
I don't want to scream
But it's all I really have now
With the words all gone
No thoughts coming through
No radiance shining
No beautiful fucking music
No peace
No rapture
None of your goddamn salvation
Or mental rejuvination
It's all gone
Just a couple of loose ends
And lingering echoes
Newsreel
Numbers, filthy numbers
Raining down on populations
Statistics, quotas, and quotients
The number of people killed
On the subway last night is five times
The percent chance of
Being raped, stabbed, beaten, and mugged
While buying groceries
The number of homes consumed in raging fires
Last week is astonishing,
As are the demographics
Of young boys buying slut magazines
Moving forward,
Ratios, graphs, and economic reports
I see that more people died from
Vicious elephant tramp lings last year
Than from car crashes
Caused by thinking and driving
As for figures digits and numerals
Ten thousand dead
Another twenty dying
And another fifty crying
Another hundred who never knew, cared, or wished to hear
And in other news
More decimal points
In all the wrong places
Which brings our figures up to
Nineteen flash floods yesterday
Sixty five monsoons
Thirty something mudslides
Seven sinkholes
And over a dozen combined
Random acts of violence,
Instances of deliberate vandalism and wanton practical jokes
Bringing our body count to astronomical proportions
And in addition,
Five hundred thousand jobs lost last night
With twice as many teen suicides
And speaking of suicide,
Tomorrow is gonna be a killer!
Up next, the weather
Thank you, and sleep well.
Burning Flies
Puking in a random gutter at 6 am
I find proverbial truth
In the streetlamp
Hanging over my head
Flies buzzing around glowing prospects
Their wings seared by boundless ambition
Yet intentions to touch the brightness
Remain unmarred
The scorched bodies of fallen comrades
Flutter earthbound in deathly silence
Quandrary
You wake up one morning
To find tears stained
On your bedsheet
Setting your hand down
In the middle of a puddle of sadness
The reason remains resoundingly unclear
Perhaps it was last night
That happenstance glance
That chance glimpse
Of that whore
Illuminated by a street corner lamp
Like the unwitting star
On the centerstage of desperation
Selling her soul for wooden nickels
Or maybe the source of those tears
Are thoughts of missles
Being launched as you dream away
Reducing cities to smoldering nothingness
Leaving nothing but ashes and ghosts
Maybe you cry
For your neighbor
Struggling to survive
While those corporate fucking pigs
Greedily feed
Or maybe you cry
For that teenage cokehead
Her sweet sixteenth was a silver plate
And a couple of bleeding wrists.....
As these questions race through
Your mind
The question of why you cried last night
Is most likely misplaced
A better thing to ask yourself
Concerns the mornings
You woke up dry
Feeling and connection exist
As byproducts of vision
By sculpting bits of
Unfleshed characters
We impart impulsing thoughts
And disperse emotion
Throughout the embracing
Emptiness of the universe
Florentine visions shroud the darkness
Embracing dark unknowing with its gentle light
Like Pompei's eruption
The seering magma melting the way
Burning old ground in its wake
Leaving scathing soil for new dreams
And left behind,
Wanderers, visionaries,
Cobblers and quiltmakers
A new renaissance
Of dying ideas
I feel hastey in my apologies
It seems at times
The only conclusion
To ease the agony
Of infinite grudges and venom
Perhaps all I have learned
In this brief existence
To be a pupil of all things
Bringing ease
To the tension of being
Finding grace
And utter tranquility
Amidst the backwards
Motions of the mind
Was I so naive
To show my back to you?
Standing like a helpless child
While you ran the blade through
To believe that I was safe
From those knives in your eyes
And to think that I was fooled
By your innocent disguise
And to think I still feel this way
To think I still fucking feel for you
Wherever you are.....
My heart bleeds true
In a flurry of wind and feathers
Fluttering earthbound
Slightest breeze
Carrying wayward travelers
To distant imagination
Journey to boundless distance
And as the carriages
Of impending happenstance,
Speeding away,
Begin to halt
The wheels cease their motions round
End of endless journeys
Wondering
Where can we be found?
Can’t You See?
Can’t you see me struggling
To turn my back on you?
Cant you see that what I’d like now
Is to know that we were through
Then why now do I linger
Always tryin to hold my ground
Hoping for that final kiss
Even though you’re not around
Why do I try to start anew
Picking pieces of my soul up off the floor
Just to search for them again
As you slice my heart in two
Can’t you see me fading away
Does it tear you up inside?
Does it fill you up with sadness
Or swell you up with pride
And as you stand there disconnected
Can’t you see the tears in my eyes
Or maybe it was always me
Couldn’t see a blessing in disguise
Desire
To hear the quiet harmony of devotion
Yearning for the beauty of that song
To know the touch of passions many
To smell the blossoming
Of an endless field of time
To touch the serenity that resides
In the clarity of dreams fulfilled
To feel the flames of a gentle kiss
Kindled by waves
Of deeply running
Desire
Within an Earthquake
Unstoppable impending catastrophe
Impulses wavering
Dimensional rifts splitting open
All consciousness
Seeping into the darkness
Percieving eyes illuminate the void
Of inner rage
No reconcile
Loveless passion
Crazily clawing the door
Blocking unreachable salvation
Shutting out the pleasuring peace
I see red stars dance
ANGST
I am angry now
and have been
for so long
i can hardly remember
times of grace
and laughter anymore
I feel a crimson fury
towards your glamour and glitz
your martini parties and faceless models
your mundane fucking existence
and your fuckin streets
covered in grease stains and filth and tears
and blood and vomit and cum and
the aspirations of simple men
I hold a burning rage
for your crosses
and your books
your statues
your filthy angels, saints and martyrs
and all your routines mired by
fear and self pity
unaware of ever present self loathing
unaware of fucking unawareness
and I feel so goddamned sickened
by your fucking wars
your holocausts
and the cries of abortion babies,
wailing for your whores
and your fuckin cokeheads and junkies
your fuckin poverty
your guns knives and sextoys
and your buildings
standing in false fuckin resiliance
rotting from the inside out
and for your fuckin movie stars
your casinos
and your fist-fucking corporate executives
your teenage overdosers and wrist slitters
and all your bubblegum fuckin pop-music
and for the smiles created amidst
this cesspool of human fucking nature