No one ever asked me 7/7
Title: No One ever asked me
Pairing: Yunho/JaeJoong
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: NC-17 - R
Warning: Drugs, Language, Rape, Non-con
Summary: No One ever asked Kim JaeJoong why he killed Jung Yunho, Until a young
reporter Named Changmin Finds great Interest In the tale behind the
horendous event.
Betaed By the lovely Meer-sshi! -Not this chapter-
“They say it was suicide, there were several people who could say she was ‘depressed’ but why was she really?”
I look to Changmin with a knowing smile as I tapped my temple.
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that one, especially when your heading toward the same destiny that poor girl was forced into.”
Of course Yunho had loved her; He loved me too didn’t he?
“Yunho never talked about her, but I had searched and asked around from the people he knew and they all told me the same thing.”
“She wouldn’t listen to Yunho; she got what was coming to her”
“There something almost appalling at the thought that Maybe I was going to be just like her, and when Yunho trapped some innocent child he too would hear those words ‘He wouldn’t listen to Yunho, He got what was coming to him’ I didn’t want to be remembered that way”
Changmin took all this in and nodded his head but then looked up at me “What about Junsu.. surely Yunho didn’t let you go back?”
I smiled slightly at that and shook my head and pursed my lips.
“I couldn’t leave Junsu like that… I didn’t want to leave Yunho yes, but I also didn’t want to Hurt Junsu.”
“Look at you”
I looked up from the doorway at Junsu who was in a suit his tie undone and a frown on his lips.
“I figured.. I mean You were soo-“He stopped himself and turned away as he stocked out of the entryway and into his room where the door slammed behind him.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes and decided I didn’t really want to deal with this right now, I wanted to sleep.. I also wanted a shower.
I gave another long sigh as I made my way to the couch and dropped down my eyes closing immediately, hoping sleep would take me soon but a loud crash and Junsus angry voice made my eyes snap open.
“I don’t want you seeing him” I glanced at the way his eyes were narrowed and down to his bloody hand.
“Your hand” I whispered as I sat up and tried to touch his fingers.
He jerked away his lips pursed as he glared at his scraped hand and then he looked to me his eyes softening as he fell to his knees in front of me his voice pleading.
“You went back to him… For drugs.. I know you were crashing.. and I understand it Jae.. but.. Please” my breathing hitched as I glanced at his sorrowful expression and almost wanted to tell him it was more than that.. That I honestly couldn’t function without Yunho but I stopped myself as I looked down at his bloody hand and I nodded my head slowly.
“I can try..”
“It not good enough JaeJoong, I want a promise. I want your word” He grasped my hands and came closer to me his breath hitting my cheek as I turned my head away.
“I-I..” I looked back to him and swallowed. Why did I feel so guilty?
“I Promise”
Junsu stayed in the same position as he looked at my expression his lip pulled between his teeth.
“Trust me Junsu… I Promise..”
I gave a small gasp as Junsu pulled me into his arms and crushed me to his chest his breathing coming in small pants.
“Jae… JaeJoong”
Guilt weighed down my heart as I gripped his shirt in my hands, because I knew I couldn’t keep that promise; I would be back in Yunhos arms and I would betray Junsu like I have done so many times before.
Maybe that’s why his voice broke when he called my name or the way his hands shook as he pulled my body closer; Because he knew it just as well as I did.
The days that followed I couldn’t help but notice the changes in Yunho and Junsu.
“ I Had tried to tell Yunho that we need to separate.. But Of course it didn’t end how I had planned”
“JaeJoong, JaeJoong, JaeJoong”
I Looked up and winced when my arm jerked in response. It wasn’t the first time Yunho had broken some part of my body but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.
“Leave? Didn’t I tell you I wouldn’t allow you to leave me? Betray me? Just like that Bitch” He spat the word as he glared down at me.
The only thing I could do was stare up at him as he paced in front of me his Jaw tense as he spoke in a furious voice.
“That Pathetic man Cant do anything for you JaeJoong.. He wants to SAVE you? I think we all know no one can save you” He turned to me and gripped my broken arm in a tight grip “You’re a lost cause Jae Baby”
“H-He Isnt” I whispered
Yunho leaned in closer his face going blank “Hmm?”
“J-Junsu isn’t pathetic” I said louder as I yanked my arm away with a small cry.
A sneer twisted Yunhos beautiful face as he moved away from me his breathing coming out fast.
“Junsus Just using you” He looked down at me once more before walking away his voice carrying down the hallway “He just wants to get to me through you”
“I don’t Understand” Changmin admitted his voice almost a whisper
I titled my head “Junsu was a lawyer… He was on a case on the drug dealings going on. Yunhos was one he could never catch up too”
I shook my head with a laugh “I will admit Junsu maybe was using me.. but he never knew who I really was until I told him about Yunho”
The last time I saw Junsu flashed through my mind and I gave a small gasp and I looked away and closed my eyes.
“Junsu wanted to save me… He wanted to protect me…”
Maybe if I repeated it enough it would be true.
“I-Im trying su..” I looked around and held the phone closer as I whispered into it “He has several people watching my every move..” I gave a small sigh.
“Ill come get you..”
I clenched the phone until my fingers were numb and gave an irritated noise “I couldn’t live with myself if Yunho ever hurt you”
“And what of you? I will come and get you”
I tried to protest but I was cut off when the phone clicked as he hung up.
I slumped against the table and let the phone fall from my hands to clatter to the wood floor. My thoughts were a buzz of Despair and anxiety as I tried to think of something to do to stop Junsu from coming.. or maybe to stop Yunho from knowing what was going on.
Nausea overtook me as I heard the door bell ring and I almost ran into the door as I yanked it open.
“J-Junsu” I hissed as he pushed past me and into the entryway.
“Get your stuff”
I Moved to the front of him and gripped his shoulders as I tried to search his eyes for something familiar. How he knew exactly where I was peaked my suspicions about him.
“You cant be here” I hissed as I tried pushing him back but he wouldn’t budge as he gripped my arm and yanked me down the hall.
“Lets see that bastard try and keep you here” He turned to me and gripped my face and I could almost cry at the agonizing pain in his eyes “Or try and touch you” His lips touched mine for only a instant as he yanked away and went toward the stairs.
I couldn’t move as I stared at the spot he once stood and then I was following him as I called for him to stop. This wasn’t good.. I could feel it…
Several things happened simultaneously. I felt my blood run cold as I heard the familiar click of the door and I turned.. forgetting I was on the stairs and then I felt my body give way as I tilted backwards my arms flailing as the door slammed shut.
My heart was beating like mad in my chest as I tried to move and could only open and close my mouth as Junsu came running down the stairs for me.
“J-JaeJoong” His hands shook over me as he tried to decide of what part of me to touch.
“H-H-Hes h-here” I gasped out as I moved to grip his arm.
Junsu looked up quickly and hovered over me as Yunho came into view his face furious as he stared at the both of us.
“Such a sight you two make”
Yunhos voice was mocking and harsh and at that time I had questioned what I liked about Yunho… I truly questioned it.
I closed my eyes and turned my head away as I felt the tears rise in my eyes. Everything seemed to be falling apart and I wished that time would stop, that I could go back to that day that I met Yunho and decline his offer. Or maybe.. if I could just tell Junsu I couldn’t see him… something to make this at least a little better.
A choked sob made its way from my throat as I jerked from Junsus soft touch on my arm.
“Jae Baby.. I told you” Yunho started as he stepped closer his shoes clicking on the wood floor. “You’re a lost cause”
I could feel his eyes directed on Junsu now as he came closer “And You” his tone was accusing and mocking “I clearly told you to stay away from him… You cant give him what he… really needs” there was a smirk in his voice.
He told him before? When had they met?
“W-What?” I whispered as I looked to Junsu who was looking away his face pained.
“He didn’t tell you?”
Yunho seemed pleased by this as he came closer and pulled me foreword so I was on my knees.
“He came to me… and begged for me to give you up” Yunho smirked down at me and brought his face closer to mine our lips almost touching “Such a pathetic sight it was Jae baby”
A sob left me as I turned to look at Junsu who had his hands clenched and his face turned still.
The whole situation sounded so funny now. And I finally understood Junsus need for me to get out his desperation when he looked at me. My heart fluttered for him and I closed my eyes and smiled.
“I told you” I murmured as I looked up to Yunhos confused eyes.
“Hes not pathetic… You are” I knew the slap was coming but it still left me gasping as my eyes screwed shut at the pain. I didn’t know what Junsu would do at that moment… none of us saw it coming.
“Junsu loved you” Changmin murmured as he looked at his folded hands.
“Me and Yunho… belonged.. I deserved what Yunho gave me… but Junsu” I shook my head and looked up at the chipped ceiling “Junsu never deserved to go though what he did… just for me? I still cant see what he saw in me”
“You didn’t deserve any of that JaeJoong” Changmin said his voice angry as he leaned foreword as if he wanted to shake me.
“If you knew all of it.. seen everything and saw the look on there faces… then you wouldn’t say that”
“Then tell me… help me understand”
I gave a small sigh and looked up at him and could see the frustration in his eyes and how his hands were clenched; his knuckles white.
“Like I said… I didn’t even imagine how Junsu would react.. how he would break…”
“Don’t you fucking touch him” Junsu said his voice harsh.
Yunho gave a small laugh and took a step backwards and that’s when I looked up and couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
“J-Junsu” I whispered as I moved closer to him reaching out.
The gun shook in his hand and he looked to me his eyes almost crazed and then I saw the hurt and pain in them.
It was one look that would haunt me forever because I knew that I was why it was there; I was the reason that Junsu, My Pure Junsu was holding that disgusting thing in his hands and I was the reason that His hands shook and his lips tremble.
It was because of me.
When the shot rang though the air I screamed and watched as Yunho fell to the ground his hand gripping his left shoulder where he had been shot.
Blood was seeping though his splayed fingers and it was almost mesmerizing at how it seeped out and over his jacket almost like an overflowing glass.
I turned when I heard the weak cry and a thud as Junsu dropped to his knees the butt of the gun against his head as he looked at the ground his breathing coming in small gasps.
Broken.
“S-Su”I murmured as I inched toward him but his hand stopped me as he held it up and looked up at me with dead eyes.
“G-Go” I choked out as I stared at his kneeling form. I couldn’t bare to look at him.
He glanced at me and then looked to Yunho who was gasping on the floor blood pooling around his shoulder.
“H-He-I need to finish…” He trailed off as if he didn’t know how to finish his sentence but we both knew what he meant and so did Yunho.
“Fucking Bastard” He hissed his voice catching as he tried to sit up.
I glanced at him and he caught my gaze and his face softened “J-Jae Baby… please help me”
I small whimper left me as I looked back to Junsu who was looking at me with knowing eyes, but he didn’t say anything he only looked down at the gun in his hands as I bit my lip.
“N-No” I muttered as I turned from Yunho and knelt next to Junsu and slipped my hand over the gun and took it from him.
Junsu was shaking harder as I Held him against my chest and then his arms wound around me and he was sobbing into my shoulder.
“Its fine Junsu… Its going to be okay”
“I-I Shot him” He whispered into my neck and then he was pulling away and shuddering as he threw up, his body convulsing.
I gave a loud gasp as my hair was yanked by an unforgiving hand.
I heard Junsu give a little sound in his throat as I was yanked away from him and into the arms of a panting Yunho.
I could feel his blood seep into my back as he held me against his chest his breath hitting my ear as he steadied himself.
“you bitch” He hissed his voice catching and then he was turning me so he could look into my eyes.
“Everything I did for you… You ungrateful” the buttons on my shirt tore as he yanked it and a million thoughts and fears flew across my mind… was he going to… right in front of Junsu? I didn’t know for sure what Yunho was planning as he yanked at my clothing and griped my hair tighter in his fingers as I tried to pull away.
It even shocked me when the shot rang threw the air.
I looked down at the gun between me and Yunhos rigid body and it all seemed in slow motion as Yunhos body went with gravity and he was falling his fingers still caught in my hair as I fell with him.
I laid there for a few seconds still in shock of what happened and then I was yanking away my eyes wide and my hands shaking as I dropped the gun in front of me.
It took me awhile to realize that I was screaming; sobbing as I clawed at my hand as if it would take away the truth of what I had done.
I could faintly hear Junsu trying to sooth me but my sobs only became louder as I touched Yunhos still body and the reality of it only became stronger as I shook him and asked him to wake up and that I was sorry..
I was so sorry.
“Go” I whispered my voice rough.
“J-Jae.. You… You-“
I turned to him and yelled my voice catching “GO!”
Junsu rocked on his heels as he stared at me and I took a deep breath not daring to look him in the eyes as I spoke again.
“If you get caught here you will be sent to prison… Me.. I have nothing left to live for Su… Its better me than you.”
A deep pain shot threw me as Junsu left silently the door shutting behind him with a thud as if shutting the door to my fate; a fate I had never wanted, a fate that I truly thought I didn’t deserve.
I was stupid… If I hadn’t of agreed to meet Junsu that day.. if I would have just stayed with Yunho.. this wouldn’t have happened…
I ran my fingers over his pale face and kissed his cold lips. There was a weight in my heart as I pulled away and looked at his beautiful face. Part of me couldn’t find it in me to be truly sad he was gone, but the other… hurt deeply knowing I wouldn’t see the Yunho I remembered.. the Yunho who smiled and took me in.
“Junsu shot him” Changmin whispered.
“I Shot him changmin-ah” I took a deep breath “I Killed him”
I looked away as the tears rose up into my eyes “He would have survived… if I hadn’t shot him” I looked back to Changmin the tears making it impossible to see his face. “And deep down… I know I wanted to shoot him.. I wanted him dead… I wanted to kill him, that’s why I shot him…. Because I hated him… I- I Hated him Changmin-ah”
“Y-You took the blame though JaeJoong-sshi… You told the officers that You shot him… that you did it all…” Changmin trailed off as my head shot up.
“I-I actually never told them it was just me… They assumed it was only me… that I killed him for money… That I-I was a murderer… They never asked me… “ I trailed off and took a deep sigh. “They never asked me why I killed Jung Yunho” a bitter laugh left me as I ran a shaky hand threw my hair “Its kind of funny how it turned out…”
I could feel Changmins confusion.
“Something no one knows is that Junsu came to visit me after I was sentenced… I was scared… and I begged him to go to the stand for me.. to tell them what happened… but..”
“He wouldn’t do it” Changmins voice was just a whisper and I shut my eyes against the pain and disbelief in it.
“There are always two sides to someone Changmin-ah”
“I-It was an accident Junsu-ah… We can tell them that-“
“You said it… ‘Better me than you’ and your right… I-I could loose everything if I went to the stand for you… “ Junsu wouldn’t look me in the eye and I was growing furious by the second.
“Really… Your going to be just like him arnt you? J-Just like-“
“Don’t say his name!” Junsus eyes finally met mine and I could see the fear and guilt in them as he gazed at me “J-Just Don’t”
“You Know… maybe he was right… You are pathetic… You were the one who wanted to fight for me? What about now? Now that he’s gone your missions over? Jesus Christ Su” I trailed off with a whisper as I slumped in my seat.
“Whats done is done… J-Just don’t contact me anymore alright?”
That had me laughing and I couldn’t stop even when Junsu gave me a hard glare and stood up to leave.
I shot foreword and grabbed his arm ignoring the movement of the officers as they stepped foreword.
“Remember this Su” I whispered as I leaned in “Karmas a bitch. I know you didn’t kill him… but you helped.. You fired the first shot… “ I paused and let my mouth lift into a cruel smile “Don’t regret it.”
“Was it a threat?” Changmin asked his voice soft.
I looked away and shrugged “It was a chance” I looked up and smiled “I had hoped… that maybe Junsu would come to my rescue.. realize that what had happened wasn’t our fault…”
I shook my head and sighed “But he failed me… he didn’t realize that chance I gave him… He didn’t care…”
I stopped Changmin before he could speak “Don’t get me wrong… I didn’t really mind as much later on that he was scared to tell the truth… but to me.. he could have told me… he could have showed me that he still cared… or that he was sorry for how it had turned out….” I bit my lip and closed my eyes “but he didn’t… I haven’t seen him since that day”
“And now?” Changmin questioned.
“Now… I don’t really care what happens… I’m just relieved” I Almost laughed at the incredulous look in his face as he raised his eyebrows.
“I’m relieved that I wont have to die in the prison without telling anyone what really happened.. I wanted...at least one person to believe me… to know…”
There was a long silence that followed and I looked at the guard and nodded my head my jaw tight.
“Thank You Changmin-ah” I stood as Changmin rose his mouth opening in disbelief “I am truly grateful for you listening to my story…” I gave a small smile and leaned foreword my lips brushing his cheek.
“I will never forget this… Because I truly believe you have good In you”
I didn’t turn when Changmins protested his quick movements knocking over the chair as he tried to get around to stop me but I was already through the door looking over my shoulder at him as he came to a halt his eyes wide.
I smiled and turned away my head hanging as I glanced at the tape in my hand; the truth would die with me.
My heart was honestly lighter.. It didn’t hurt as bad to think of the memories or of that day… It hurt.. of course.. but there wasn’t the breath taking pain anymore when I thought of Yunhos cold pale face and how his chest fluttered with his last breath.
I closed my eyes and thought of back to the first time I met him; I made a huge mistake back then… and i wished I could go back and correct it… Fix the mess I made.
“You can’t stay outside.” I laughed harshly at his statement and answered, “Where do you suppose I should go then?”
I was about to get up and walk away but his next words stopped me.
“How about you stay with me?”
I paused and turned to him my hands folded In front of me.
“I think Ill pass” I smiled
“But thank you Yunho-sshi”
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O______________________O
I dont wanna say that this is over.. really I dont.. haha. Im actually gonna start on the epilogue so you guys dont have to be sad at how it ended... I still have a little more planned for our dear JaeJoong and Changmin and yes.. Junsu~ haha.
Now sometimes when i read this I feel regret... because It didnt really go as how I wanted it tooo... but Im always busy so i wrote it the best i could so i wouldnt leave people wondering where I was going with this LOL.
I Think it did kind of give off the emotions I wanted though...
I had wanted JaeJoongs to be conflicting.. a love and hate kind of thing but subtle till the end.
And I wanted Changmin to be the innocent listener will no power to do anything... but determined to set it right.
Yunho... welll I wanted Yunho to be.. crazy? More like obsessed i guess... but a cruel kind of obsessed..
and Junsu was supposed to be the confused,innocent man caught up in the mess because of the beauty he saw at the music store.
^__^ I dont really know if I played off the emotions right... but I did have fun writing this... even through the hard ships and writers block LOL.
I want to thank you readers because honestly (and Im not kidding) I would not have continued this if you all hadnt asked me to finish it.. and showed your love for the story.... It was truly amazing.
<3 My love to all of you. seriously.