Im sorry Mike.
Other then that, Life sucks! Hah, I'll just continue putting on my happy face, and smilling like nothings wrong. Inside there's nothing but empty, and a little voice, that tells me to keep smiling. " Nothing's wrong Markie, Keep smiling". But I dont want to keep smiling, I want to gash my skin in, with the dullest object so It will bring more pain. Im sick of pain, I want pain I can control. Im so close to going back to my old habbits. But for now, I'll just go pierce my tounge. I learned how, Jake showed me. Its better then gashes alover my arm. Wich is what I really want. But I cant, I made a promise. I cant break that. But there's a part of me, that's telling me I need to break it. I neeeeed to cut, I need to feel that remorce. Fuck, Im crazy.
Oh yeah! IM HACKING MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT, this morning I woke up coughing, and I felt somthing wierd, and I open my eyes, and there's this pool of blood that I dint know I was coughing up. I've puked 3 times today. Ugh.