Work sucks?
If not, then it at least blows. Responsibility is an illusion. Nothing matters. If someone is to blame, it's the person who finds importance in it. One thing I've learned in my travels is that you can't change something by watching and judging...you can only change by action. In a society where action is tormented and complacency and stagnation are rewarded, who makes the decision on change?
Another day of my life gone, and what I have to show for it is the same as yesterday...life and health. I'm beginning to think that the entire human drama is to serve only one purpose. If that purpose is what I think it is, I'm going to be heartily disappointed. Something has to change. Everything I do is aimed at one goal, and that's to be something more than nothing. What that means is that I strive every day to make an impression on every person I meet...some in more obvious ways and others indirectly. A guy named Tony at work drew a picture of me the other day. I want to scan it and save it as my wallpaper on my desktop. It's obviously highly charicatured, but the mood it portrays is precisely the disguise I put on the whole of my day every day at work.
Aside from the madness involved in my part of the Kinko's drama, there are reflections in others. Zach lost his position due to the evil of upper-management. It's unfortunate, and I feel like I'm next. His replacement, however, is to my liking. Hey...one has to take the good with the bad, you know. Her name is Mindy. From what I can tell, she can do the job. It helps that she's hotter than any girl I've seen in my life, but that's completely beside the point. I just pray that they train her better than they trained Zach or Mike or Keith or any number of people who took the job I want and didn't cut it. I heard today that she took BNI...I haven't even taken BNI. I'm sorry...it's 'C'NI now.
So I'm moving out in like a month.
One of the girls that I'm going to be moving in with me WANTS MY ASS...LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO.
That should be interesting. I could probably play it off without any casualties, but for one reason or another, (I think it's her innocent stupidity [law student]) I'm intrigued. We hung out on Sunday...her mom flew into town that night and she called me at like midnight. "Are you still up for coming over?" "I might as well...it's not like I'll be sleeping or anything." "Good answer!"
I think a lot.
It might be one of my biggest drawbacks. A lot of times, I'll consider a problem while it's being solved by someone taking action. I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like if I'd only taken action at times I was thinking. Everything would be different. Is different good? Can different be good? If I'm not me, who am I?
I cut my hair last week.
It's fuckin hot dude. I like it more than I've ever liked my hair ever. I have options. It's nice.
Love is a motherfucker.
I have voices in my head that tell me to do things. I have voices in my head that tell me to pick up and run to Australia. I have voices that tell me to get a penthouse across the street from the Sears tower in Chicago. I have voices that tell me to talk to people and voices that tell me to hide. I think Love is that voice. I think Love is trying to fuck with me. Love, I've found, doesn't know shit. Love has no consideration for time or space. Love doesn't know what it means to be bound by mortal coils. Love is above these things. So what does Love know about living with them? The only thing you can trust that Love says is 'You'll be happy.' Of course you'll be happy. If a person lives only for Love, then one finds that pain and regret are only ripples...that happiness is the only calm or peace that one will ever know. But what of the drama? What of the pain? How does one separate the ripples from the pond? One can not. One can only grit one's teeth and bear it.
I spell my name with an O at work and everywhere else anymore.
Oedgar.
Is it another character? Is it just something random that one does to buy the consideration and attention of others? It's just a fucking 'O'.
Will I ever get to
To where it is that I am going?
Will I ever follow through with what I
With what I have planned?
I guess it's possible
That I have been a bit distracted;
And the directions for me are a lot less in demand.
Will I ever get to where I'm going?
If I do, will I know when I am there?
If the wind blew me in the right direction,
Would I even care?
I would.
Another day of my life gone, and what I have to show for it is the same as yesterday...life and health. I'm beginning to think that the entire human drama is to serve only one purpose. If that purpose is what I think it is, I'm going to be heartily disappointed. Something has to change. Everything I do is aimed at one goal, and that's to be something more than nothing. What that means is that I strive every day to make an impression on every person I meet...some in more obvious ways and others indirectly. A guy named Tony at work drew a picture of me the other day. I want to scan it and save it as my wallpaper on my desktop. It's obviously highly charicatured, but the mood it portrays is precisely the disguise I put on the whole of my day every day at work.
Aside from the madness involved in my part of the Kinko's drama, there are reflections in others. Zach lost his position due to the evil of upper-management. It's unfortunate, and I feel like I'm next. His replacement, however, is to my liking. Hey...one has to take the good with the bad, you know. Her name is Mindy. From what I can tell, she can do the job. It helps that she's hotter than any girl I've seen in my life, but that's completely beside the point. I just pray that they train her better than they trained Zach or Mike or Keith or any number of people who took the job I want and didn't cut it. I heard today that she took BNI...I haven't even taken BNI. I'm sorry...it's 'C'NI now.
So I'm moving out in like a month.
One of the girls that I'm going to be moving in with me WANTS MY ASS...LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO.
That should be interesting. I could probably play it off without any casualties, but for one reason or another, (I think it's her innocent stupidity [law student]) I'm intrigued. We hung out on Sunday...her mom flew into town that night and she called me at like midnight. "Are you still up for coming over?" "I might as well...it's not like I'll be sleeping or anything." "Good answer!"
I think a lot.
It might be one of my biggest drawbacks. A lot of times, I'll consider a problem while it's being solved by someone taking action. I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like if I'd only taken action at times I was thinking. Everything would be different. Is different good? Can different be good? If I'm not me, who am I?
I cut my hair last week.
It's fuckin hot dude. I like it more than I've ever liked my hair ever. I have options. It's nice.
Love is a motherfucker.
I have voices in my head that tell me to do things. I have voices in my head that tell me to pick up and run to Australia. I have voices that tell me to get a penthouse across the street from the Sears tower in Chicago. I have voices that tell me to talk to people and voices that tell me to hide. I think Love is that voice. I think Love is trying to fuck with me. Love, I've found, doesn't know shit. Love has no consideration for time or space. Love doesn't know what it means to be bound by mortal coils. Love is above these things. So what does Love know about living with them? The only thing you can trust that Love says is 'You'll be happy.' Of course you'll be happy. If a person lives only for Love, then one finds that pain and regret are only ripples...that happiness is the only calm or peace that one will ever know. But what of the drama? What of the pain? How does one separate the ripples from the pond? One can not. One can only grit one's teeth and bear it.
I spell my name with an O at work and everywhere else anymore.
Oedgar.
Is it another character? Is it just something random that one does to buy the consideration and attention of others? It's just a fucking 'O'.
Will I ever get to
To where it is that I am going?
Will I ever follow through with what I
With what I have planned?
I guess it's possible
That I have been a bit distracted;
And the directions for me are a lot less in demand.
Will I ever get to where I'm going?
If I do, will I know when I am there?
If the wind blew me in the right direction,
Would I even care?
I would.