(no subject)
Title: You and me
Pairing: Jesse/Andrew
Rating: PG (save for an F-bomb)
Word Count: 665
Notes: Completely unbeta'd. I have not written fic in a long time, but this movie and the actors in it have sort of taken over my braain.
He's not sure when it begins, this feeling. Or maybe that's not the best way to put it. It's not a feeling, it's more just something that's true. Something that Jesse knows deep down is now a part of him, something that can't be ignored any more. He's never been a very. . . how to put it. He's never been the kind to flirt around. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve because a lot of the time he keeps it locked away, hidden from prying eyes. It is something for himself and those he loves, he doesn't need to share it.
Which is why this new situation with Andrew is so different. It's like ever since they met there's been this instant connection. Like they've grown up together, but this is the first time they've met. Jesse can't exactly explain it in words - god knows he has a hard enough time saying the simple things, which is why he likes to think of himself as a PR nightmare, but something like this? It's too complicated, too tangled up in what constitutes as their lives. There's no way he can handle this.
There's just these little moments they share. Jesse knows he's not alone in this, because they've laughed about it, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. He never really got the whole teenage drama angst bullshit, and it's so free to be not even think of that. To just know that he and Andrew? They're special. He feels like they could go off, riding unicorns to help old ladies cross the street. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but something close. He feels unstoppable. He's not sure what he's going to do when the press tour ends, when they are back on different continents. Maybe he'll bug Andrew until he gets a cameo in Spiderman (A hot-dog vendor? Bystander #3? Mary Jane? It doesn't matter), or he'll just make up excuses to come and visit all the time. He entertains a fantasy where Andrew is the one visiting, that they go to movies and go in coffee shops and then it gets wilder from there - maybe he'll move closer, maybe with Jesse - but that's where it stops. Because from there it just gets more and more desperate, and that is something that he can't stand. Because he knows that that's not happening, and never will.
Because for all the way his heart shines out of his eyes when Andrew looks at him, and their in-jokes and the hidden smiles, there's part of him that breaks just a little bit at the same time. Because this is limited. It's a summer fling without the fling. When it's over it will be over for real, and Jesse can't stand that thought. So he pushes it away. This thing, whatever it is, is a little too magical to be tested and prodded. It's there, ethereal in a way, and he's afraid that if he messes it up it will be gone. And that's the last thing he wants. So this stress of being unstressed is kind of unbearable, in a bearable way, and while Jesse is to careful to let it affect the thing it's supposed to be protecting, it does get in the way of other things. Like crossword puzzles. Or hunting down rare maps. Or sleep.
But in the end, it's all worth it to be the person that Andrew looks at, like he's some kind of otherworldy creature. Because that's what Jesse thinks of him. To have him there before some god-awful press conference or creeper-filled interview with a smile, a bagel and a cup of tea (tea! He drinks tea. How amazing was that.) just makes everything so worthwhile. And it's not even a problem, because this thing, this friendship, this love, it's pretty fucking great. He knows it. They all do. And Jesse thinks he's done with the worrying because it's time to be great.
Pairing: Jesse/Andrew
Rating: PG (save for an F-bomb)
Word Count: 665
Notes: Completely unbeta'd. I have not written fic in a long time, but this movie and the actors in it have sort of taken over my braain.
He's not sure when it begins, this feeling. Or maybe that's not the best way to put it. It's not a feeling, it's more just something that's true. Something that Jesse knows deep down is now a part of him, something that can't be ignored any more. He's never been a very. . . how to put it. He's never been the kind to flirt around. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve because a lot of the time he keeps it locked away, hidden from prying eyes. It is something for himself and those he loves, he doesn't need to share it.
Which is why this new situation with Andrew is so different. It's like ever since they met there's been this instant connection. Like they've grown up together, but this is the first time they've met. Jesse can't exactly explain it in words - god knows he has a hard enough time saying the simple things, which is why he likes to think of himself as a PR nightmare, but something like this? It's too complicated, too tangled up in what constitutes as their lives. There's no way he can handle this.
There's just these little moments they share. Jesse knows he's not alone in this, because they've laughed about it, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened. He never really got the whole teenage drama angst bullshit, and it's so free to be not even think of that. To just know that he and Andrew? They're special. He feels like they could go off, riding unicorns to help old ladies cross the street. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but something close. He feels unstoppable. He's not sure what he's going to do when the press tour ends, when they are back on different continents. Maybe he'll bug Andrew until he gets a cameo in Spiderman (A hot-dog vendor? Bystander #3? Mary Jane? It doesn't matter), or he'll just make up excuses to come and visit all the time. He entertains a fantasy where Andrew is the one visiting, that they go to movies and go in coffee shops and then it gets wilder from there - maybe he'll move closer, maybe with Jesse - but that's where it stops. Because from there it just gets more and more desperate, and that is something that he can't stand. Because he knows that that's not happening, and never will.
Because for all the way his heart shines out of his eyes when Andrew looks at him, and their in-jokes and the hidden smiles, there's part of him that breaks just a little bit at the same time. Because this is limited. It's a summer fling without the fling. When it's over it will be over for real, and Jesse can't stand that thought. So he pushes it away. This thing, whatever it is, is a little too magical to be tested and prodded. It's there, ethereal in a way, and he's afraid that if he messes it up it will be gone. And that's the last thing he wants. So this stress of being unstressed is kind of unbearable, in a bearable way, and while Jesse is to careful to let it affect the thing it's supposed to be protecting, it does get in the way of other things. Like crossword puzzles. Or hunting down rare maps. Or sleep.
But in the end, it's all worth it to be the person that Andrew looks at, like he's some kind of otherworldy creature. Because that's what Jesse thinks of him. To have him there before some god-awful press conference or creeper-filled interview with a smile, a bagel and a cup of tea (tea! He drinks tea. How amazing was that.) just makes everything so worthwhile. And it's not even a problem, because this thing, this friendship, this love, it's pretty fucking great. He knows it. They all do. And Jesse thinks he's done with the worrying because it's time to be great.