Chapter 4 - Broken Promises
Title: You let me believe you were someone else
Author: Mark_angel01
Rating: PG13 for now will go higher eventually, warnings will be put before the chapter though.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Chris Kane, Tom welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Sophia Bush, Chad Murray, Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Jeffrey Morgan, OFC, OMC.
Warning: This is male/male pairing so if you don't like then please leave, it is AU and the boys are 16, very low rating to start but will eventually get higher, so may be underage depending on where you live. There will be violence in future chapters but I will warn before a chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I would force them to admit their love for eachother, which is so obvious, sadly i do not even own a strand of their hair.
Summary:
"Your secrets did this .... you did this. You let me believe you were someone else ..... I feel like I don't even know you.
Jared is 16 and hiding a dark past, Jensen is drawn to him, what will happen when secrets are revealed. Read to find out.
Story notes: My wonderful Beta reader is Basez dreams, any mistakes left are my own doing.
This is going to be a long story, I have some chapters written and will post weekly so there is not a long time between updates.
Chapter 4 - Broken promises
Songs - To be loved by Curtis Stigers and I don't know how to let you go by Sarah Mclachlan
Jared found himself sitting under a tree, too lost in his thoughts to enjoy the shade from the sun or the gentle breeze. He had found it difficult dropping to the floor, but had managed and now he rested his back against the rough bark. He had his sleeves of his green hoody pulled down over his hand, despite the warmth; he just felt so cold. It took him moments to realise he had the photos in his hand, half tucked up his sleeve. He wished that the reminders of his past life would just go away. He knew it was too much to ask and was more than he deserved, but he just couldn't take the regular blasts from the past. They shook him to the core and left him feeling raw and exposed. No matter how good he was at pushing things down and hiding things, he had his breaking point. Being reminded of how happy he had been made the desire to scream so intense, he clenched his jaw and bit his lip to stop himself, not letting up even when he tasted blood.
After some long moments of taking deep breaths and staring at the vast garden that belonged to the Kane’s, he felt the desire to scream slowly pass. He hated when he got this way, hated that his emotions could leave him drained and shaking. He dreaded to think what would happen if he ever got like this and couldn't escape to calm himself down; he knew he would be like a caged animal before exploding, hurting anyone in his path.
More moments passed and he tried to ignore the burning weight of the photos is his hand. With every passing moment, those photos became more and more important, until it held all of his focus. Slowly, as though it were a dangerous snake he was holding, he unscrewed the glossy photo paper and turned it over. Sandy always looked so pretty, so full of life, always joking and laughing with her two male best friends. Him and Chad. She was always there for him, even that night.
Her crying voice hit him hard as he looked at her sweet face, "please God, no, you bastard, Jared....." He pressed fists into his eyes to stop the tears and the memory.
As he pulled his hands away, his eyes rested on the face he had tried to forget since that night; Chad Michael Murray, his best friend since they were in diapers, always there for him...
A voice that haunted his dreams cut into that thought of Chad; "Even Murray thinks you deserve this, why do you think this is happening?"
Jared dropped the photos to the ground as he covered his ears in an attempt to block that voice out, a sick feeling of betrayal settling in his stomach. Had his best friend really hated him that much in the end? Or was it just another twisted mind game? He hadn't seen his best friend since that night; he could still remember the way Chad had thrown an arm across his shoulder and gave him a beer. Not an unusual thing, but it had meant everything to him; it was Chad’s way of apologising and making the tension that had been between them all week vanish, and he knew he hadn't lost his best friend.
At the time, he thought that week was the hardest time in his life. So full of doubt and regret and hurt; if only he had known what was coming; he would have realised that that week was nothing. The photos now on the ground were from the day before everything went wrong, before he and Chad were at odds, and before his world came crashing down around him. They had been happy, just as happy as they looked in the photos. He could still remember that day clearly. He didn't know why they took the photo’s. Funny how a day so ordinary, a day that wasn't special in any way, was now one of the most precious memories he had.
It was the last time they had been ‘The Three Musketeers‘, the last time they were united, happy and carefree. Perhaps if they had known what was to happen, they would have made the day more special. Except, to Jared, no memory was more precious than the easy way they had hung out together, without a care in the world and full of promises that had been made.
********
Flashback
"Jay man, you can't seriously still be hungry?"
Chad smirked at Jared as he ate Sandy's left over burger. He had already eaten two of the burger meals himself and half of Sandy's fries, and now he was happily eating her left over burger and was considering getting another. He just laughed around a mouthful of food. "Watch me Murray." With that, he stuck the last bite in his mouth, giving anyone who was looking a good view of what he was eating.
"Jare, that is disgusting. " Sandy threw a fry at him, but was giggling as she ate the ice cream she had ordered, not caring that she had managed to get it all around her mouth. She rarely bothered when she was with her boys and Jared loved that about her. She was just like one of the guys, only better looking. He grinned and promptly ate the fry that was thrown at him, "anymore food going, or do I have to order more?"
Chad rolled his eyes and laughed. "Lets hit that cookie place next, I need some sweet stuff." He had winked at them both, looking smug.
Sandy snorted and Jared just laughed. They knew the real reason he wanted to hit that cookie place and Sandy let him know.
"The ‘something sweet’ wouldn't happen to be Angela Cross would it?" He didn't miss the look that passed between his friends, but didn't understand it.
Jared just grinned as the two of them started their playful banter about who liked who. Not for the first time, Jared wondered when they would realise they were perfect for each other. He had realised last summer that the playful fighting and teasing was their way of avoiding the fact that there may be more than friendship there. At first, he had been glad they ignored it, as he didn't want anything to upset their friendships.
He had known Chad long before he could talk or walk. They had grown up next door to each other, their mothers having been best friends. They were closer than most brothers, and Jared loved him like one. He was glad that when he started to realise his attraction towards men, Chad remained just a friend in his eyes. Still, he felt guilty for not telling Chad that he may be gay. He couldn't exactly say he was, as he had never kissed a guy, but he was fairly certain. Sandy had been pushing him to tell Chad, Hell, she was the one that told Jared he was gay.
Sandy had become his friend at kindergarten. She had told him he had to marry her and look after the baby, and Jared, being so young, went along with it. He had been very much in love with her as a child, and their parents had thought it had been the sweetest thing. He would do anything for his Sandy and protect her at all costs from everyone except Chad. Even as a child he was smart enough to not get between those two. After all, Sandy was hardly defenceless when it came to fighting with Chad Michael Murray. Over the years, she had perfected it.
"Hey, dream boy, give me a kiss." Sandy's lips met his forehead and he grinned as he was pulled back to the present. Just remembering Sandy as a little girl made him want to hug her close, so he did. She was so tiny she couldn't do anything as he curled her into his larger frame, lifting her off the floor.
She squealed like a little girl ,which made him spin her around and she hit him playfully.
"Jare, you’re like an overgrown puppy! Put me down before people think your harassing me and call security." She tried to sound firm, but was too busy giggling.
Jared just ignored her and started to walk away from the restaurant still carrying her. "Come on, Murray; lets go see Ang... Oh, I mean, get you ‘something sweet‘". He laughed as Chad rolled his eyes and flipped him off, but followed them anyway.
Sandy had stopped her protests, and he swung her onto his back where she sat comfortably like she had a hundred times before. "You know, Hercules, you may have ruined me for all men." She squeezed his muscles as she said this.
He just laughed and nodded, "which is probably a good thing. No guy is good enough for you and none are man enough to go through me and Chad first."
Chad piped up at that and smirked. "Yeah, face it. You’re never dating anyone unless it’s me or Jay. No other guy is good enough, so it may as well be Jay. Everyone thinks you two are together anyways." Jared didn't miss the slightly bitter tone in his friends voice.
Sandy huffed at that and started to tell Chad off for treating her like a child. Jared felt smug at the fact he wasn't being told off. Sandy let him get away with a lot more than she let Chad. He watched as another conversation seemed to take place, one that wasn’t heard aloud and he wished once again they would admit how they felt
He knew Chad was right, everyone had expected him and Sandy to get together, so much so that when he turned 14 he had felt it was expected of him to take her out on a date. He remembered going to the movies and how Chad had not talked to him for two days. At the time he thought it was because he felt left out, but now he knew better. Chad had been jealous. Chad now knew Jared and Sandy were like brother and sister and were better off that way. The date had been nice enough; they were already friends, but as he had leaned in for a kiss, Sandy had stopped him.
She had told him they didn't need to do it just because they were expected to and that she really didn't think she was his type. He had been confused and felt a little rejected. Sandy had seen this, so she did kiss him. It had been his first kiss; it been sweet and short, and as they pulled back he realised what she had meant. He felt nothing more than the love that had always been there; no attraction or anything. She had smiled sweetly in sympathy before telling him in the most gentle way she could that he was gay.
At first he had thought she was joking because he wasn't attracted to her, but then she had started to explain things that made him begin to realise she was right, scary as it was. He didn't speak to her for a whole week, which was a record for them. At least their fall out got Chad speaking to him again. When he and Sandy finally spoke again, it was with an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't mention the gay thing again.
That had lasted until he was 15.
"So you still haven't told him?" Her soft voice spoke against his ear as they watched Chad flirt with Angela Cross. It was scary how easily she could read him at times and he felt his heart fill with warmth and love for her. He knew he was lucky to have two best friends; they were both so great to him, which is why he hated to deceive Chad.
"It's not that simple Dee." He let out a sigh on her nick-name, the one from kindergarten, the one which only he was allowed to call her. He could feel her stroking his hair and he smiled, relaxing into her touch. She knew him so well.
"He loves you Jare; he wont care once he gets used to it, you know that." She was hugging him against her from behind as she perched on the railings, her legs still wrapped around him.
He knew she was right, but he couldn’t help but think about how religious their families were and how they didn't accept that kind of thing. He knew, for this reason as well as others, Chad would find it difficult. He decided he didn't want to think about it too much today. "You know, you really never will get a boyfriend with the way you are with me." He looked smugly at her, "I like that idea, unless, of course you decide to tell Chad how you really feel. I'm all for that."
She just raised her eyebrow giving him the look that told him ‘I’m letting this drop, for now,’ before smirking. "Yeah, that is true, but you’re not going to get one either, so it's all good. And, I feel nothing other than love formed out of pity for that boy.”
Jared didn't miss the glare she sent at Angela or the way Chad kept glancing at Sandy rather than focusing on what Angela was saying.
He thought about what Sandy said about him not dating, blushing red at the thought of having a boyfriend and placed her on the floor gently as she laughed at him.
"Only just noticed this works both ways? You see, if everyone thinks we are together, then neither one of us will ever get laid."
Jared had blushed even more as she continued with an evil grin. "So, unless you intend to take my virginity as well as my first kiss, gay boy, I figure eventually you will have to allow me to date."
Jared had scowled at her. "Never. You will be a virgin till you marry and it will be some guy I choose. By the way, only Murray will ever be good enough for you." He knew really he couldn't stop her dating, but he could try to keep the guys away a little longer. He really could only ever see himself happy with Chad as her boyfriend; Chad worshipped Sandy as much as he did, maybe more, and despite the amount of girls he dated, he was a good guy. He had never deceived a girl he dated or forced anything on them, and Jared had suspected they never lasted because he only wanted one girl.
She just rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Sooner or later you will have to let me grow up; but I’m serious, Jare. No guy will compare to you; you have ruined me."
Jared felt immense love as he wrapped her in a tight hug knowing he would die to protect her. "Yeah, Dee, no guy will ever love you and care for you the way I do."
"What about me?" Chad had rejoined them and grinned as he sandwiched Sandy between them in their group hug.
Jared didn't miss the blush on Sandy's face, despite her calm words, as she wiggled free. "Oh yeah, forgot about you. Besides, I wasn't talking about love and care, I just meant no guy will have the muscles Jare has. Not even you, Murray."
She gave an evil grin and skipped away from them before they could process what she had said. Jared and Chad both gave chase when they realised. Jared knew Chad was thinking just like him, that Sandy should not be thinking about any guys muscles, unless it was theirs. Though he suspected Chad was thinking maybe she should consider his muscles, especially the way he glanced at his own arms as they followed their petite friend.
She stopped suddenly by a photo both and was pushing some coins in just as they caught up to her. She shoved them in despite their protest, Chad first then Jared. She climbed into his lap but hugged Chad to her. He didn't miss the look his friends shared before they all posed for the photos.
He wondered if Sandy's teasing was finally hitting home with Chad, that she was a girl who would start dating if he didn't act soon. Chad had started to get more possessive lately, and he was dating less, so Jared had high hopes for them. As the camera flashed, he decided that if those two managed to get together, he would tell Chad his secret.
In the end, they had 12 pictures taken so they could have a strip each. He loved photos and knew these would join the many of his friends and family that he had in his room.
They spent the rest of the day shopping and fooling around, and Jared never felt so happy with his friends. He knew he was a lucky guy. It was getting towards the end of the day, and they were in a music store where Sandy had been chatting to some guy that looked like one of those emo kids. Jared had nothing against people being different, just with people flirting with his Sandy.
Though, before he could get in there, he realised Chad had also had enough. Chad strode over, taking Sandy's hand in his, and pulled her towards the exit. He had quickly followed knowing it was going to be bad. Sandy was sweet, but she would full on bitch out at being manhandled by Chad. Sure enough, as he walked out, she was scowling and ready to hurl abuse at their friend, and Jared winced for Chad. But the words never left her lips due to Chad’s mouth covering hers.
He could see Chad and Sandy both take in a shocked breath at the same time, but she recovered quickly and melted into Chad’s kiss. Jared just watched with a big grin on his lips shouting, "about damn time!"
He laughed and hugged them both as they pulled apart blushing, but not letting go of each others hand. Chad had looked at him nervously, "so your ok with this man?"
Jared had grinned. "Course I am. Was wondering when you would figure it out."
Sandy hit both of them. "Why are you two talking about me like you decide my fate?" She then poked Chad in the chest, "and maybe you should be asking me if this is ok, not Jared."
Chad looked unsure for a moment, but then smiled and kissed her so sweetly that Jared felt like he was intruding on a private moment. His two friends stared into each others eyes for a moment and both smiled, blushing slightly, no words needed.
Then he remembered his promise to himself and he never backed down on a promise. He would tell Chad everything tomorrow.
Tonight, he wanted to enjoy his friends and their new found relationship, just in case Chad took it badly.
As they left the mall, Sandy was walking hand in hand with Chad for once, and not Jared. He couldn't be happier for them, except he did feel a little lonely and hoped things wouldn't change. Then Chad slung his arm over his shoulder and grinned.
"Want me to hold your hand too, honey, so you don't feel left out?" He then planted a wet kiss on Jared's cheek.
Jared laughed out loud with his friends before taking Chad’s hand in his, pretending to be all girly and in love, which had all three friends laughing. Things were changing, but they would always be friends, and, as he scooped up Sandy and ran away from Chad he shouted, "I married her in kindergarten. She’s mine!"
He knew everything would be okay as his friends laughed, Chad giving chase, tackling him to the ground and all three of them rolled onto their backs laughing. Chad loved him, and he would never turn his back on him. That thought calmed him inside, and he sighed, content, as he stared up at the sky.
His friends picked up on his calm state and joined him in staring at the sky. He loved that about his friends; they always seemed to know what to say or do, and no moment was pushed or false.
Sandy held each of their hands in hers as she lay between them. "Promise me we will always be friends like this guys, no matter what happens."
There was silence for a few seconds and Jared knew Chad, like himself, was thinking of laughing off the sudden seriousness in Sandy's tone. Sandy was rarely serious, unless it called for it. All of them felt the change around them; they were growing up, finding relationships and they were all scared of being pulled apart.
So with a gentle squeeze of her hands and a soft whisper full of sincerity, lacking any mocking, they both responded, "promise."
Sandy just squeezed their hands, thanking them.
*********
Present
Jared stared at the photo on the ground before tucking it into the cast on his arm, not taking any notice of the lump in his throat or the tears threatening to fall.
It was all gone now.
Some promises just couldn't be kept.
***********
Thanks for reading guys, let me know what you thought?
Author: Mark_angel01
Rating: PG13 for now will go higher eventually, warnings will be put before the chapter though.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Chris Kane, Tom welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Sophia Bush, Chad Murray, Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Jeffrey Morgan, OFC, OMC.
Warning: This is male/male pairing so if you don't like then please leave, it is AU and the boys are 16, very low rating to start but will eventually get higher, so may be underage depending on where you live. There will be violence in future chapters but I will warn before a chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I would force them to admit their love for eachother, which is so obvious, sadly i do not even own a strand of their hair.
Summary:
"Your secrets did this .... you did this. You let me believe you were someone else ..... I feel like I don't even know you.
Jared is 16 and hiding a dark past, Jensen is drawn to him, what will happen when secrets are revealed. Read to find out.
Story notes: My wonderful Beta reader is Basez dreams, any mistakes left are my own doing.
This is going to be a long story, I have some chapters written and will post weekly so there is not a long time between updates.
Chapter 4 - Broken promises
Songs - To be loved by Curtis Stigers and I don't know how to let you go by Sarah Mclachlan
Jared found himself sitting under a tree, too lost in his thoughts to enjoy the shade from the sun or the gentle breeze. He had found it difficult dropping to the floor, but had managed and now he rested his back against the rough bark. He had his sleeves of his green hoody pulled down over his hand, despite the warmth; he just felt so cold. It took him moments to realise he had the photos in his hand, half tucked up his sleeve. He wished that the reminders of his past life would just go away. He knew it was too much to ask and was more than he deserved, but he just couldn't take the regular blasts from the past. They shook him to the core and left him feeling raw and exposed. No matter how good he was at pushing things down and hiding things, he had his breaking point. Being reminded of how happy he had been made the desire to scream so intense, he clenched his jaw and bit his lip to stop himself, not letting up even when he tasted blood.
After some long moments of taking deep breaths and staring at the vast garden that belonged to the Kane’s, he felt the desire to scream slowly pass. He hated when he got this way, hated that his emotions could leave him drained and shaking. He dreaded to think what would happen if he ever got like this and couldn't escape to calm himself down; he knew he would be like a caged animal before exploding, hurting anyone in his path.
More moments passed and he tried to ignore the burning weight of the photos is his hand. With every passing moment, those photos became more and more important, until it held all of his focus. Slowly, as though it were a dangerous snake he was holding, he unscrewed the glossy photo paper and turned it over. Sandy always looked so pretty, so full of life, always joking and laughing with her two male best friends. Him and Chad. She was always there for him, even that night.
Her crying voice hit him hard as he looked at her sweet face, "please God, no, you bastard, Jared....." He pressed fists into his eyes to stop the tears and the memory.
As he pulled his hands away, his eyes rested on the face he had tried to forget since that night; Chad Michael Murray, his best friend since they were in diapers, always there for him...
A voice that haunted his dreams cut into that thought of Chad; "Even Murray thinks you deserve this, why do you think this is happening?"
Jared dropped the photos to the ground as he covered his ears in an attempt to block that voice out, a sick feeling of betrayal settling in his stomach. Had his best friend really hated him that much in the end? Or was it just another twisted mind game? He hadn't seen his best friend since that night; he could still remember the way Chad had thrown an arm across his shoulder and gave him a beer. Not an unusual thing, but it had meant everything to him; it was Chad’s way of apologising and making the tension that had been between them all week vanish, and he knew he hadn't lost his best friend.
At the time, he thought that week was the hardest time in his life. So full of doubt and regret and hurt; if only he had known what was coming; he would have realised that that week was nothing. The photos now on the ground were from the day before everything went wrong, before he and Chad were at odds, and before his world came crashing down around him. They had been happy, just as happy as they looked in the photos. He could still remember that day clearly. He didn't know why they took the photo’s. Funny how a day so ordinary, a day that wasn't special in any way, was now one of the most precious memories he had.
It was the last time they had been ‘The Three Musketeers‘, the last time they were united, happy and carefree. Perhaps if they had known what was to happen, they would have made the day more special. Except, to Jared, no memory was more precious than the easy way they had hung out together, without a care in the world and full of promises that had been made.
********
Flashback
"Jay man, you can't seriously still be hungry?"
Chad smirked at Jared as he ate Sandy's left over burger. He had already eaten two of the burger meals himself and half of Sandy's fries, and now he was happily eating her left over burger and was considering getting another. He just laughed around a mouthful of food. "Watch me Murray." With that, he stuck the last bite in his mouth, giving anyone who was looking a good view of what he was eating.
"Jare, that is disgusting. " Sandy threw a fry at him, but was giggling as she ate the ice cream she had ordered, not caring that she had managed to get it all around her mouth. She rarely bothered when she was with her boys and Jared loved that about her. She was just like one of the guys, only better looking. He grinned and promptly ate the fry that was thrown at him, "anymore food going, or do I have to order more?"
Chad rolled his eyes and laughed. "Lets hit that cookie place next, I need some sweet stuff." He had winked at them both, looking smug.
Sandy snorted and Jared just laughed. They knew the real reason he wanted to hit that cookie place and Sandy let him know.
"The ‘something sweet’ wouldn't happen to be Angela Cross would it?" He didn't miss the look that passed between his friends, but didn't understand it.
Jared just grinned as the two of them started their playful banter about who liked who. Not for the first time, Jared wondered when they would realise they were perfect for each other. He had realised last summer that the playful fighting and teasing was their way of avoiding the fact that there may be more than friendship there. At first, he had been glad they ignored it, as he didn't want anything to upset their friendships.
He had known Chad long before he could talk or walk. They had grown up next door to each other, their mothers having been best friends. They were closer than most brothers, and Jared loved him like one. He was glad that when he started to realise his attraction towards men, Chad remained just a friend in his eyes. Still, he felt guilty for not telling Chad that he may be gay. He couldn't exactly say he was, as he had never kissed a guy, but he was fairly certain. Sandy had been pushing him to tell Chad, Hell, she was the one that told Jared he was gay.
Sandy had become his friend at kindergarten. She had told him he had to marry her and look after the baby, and Jared, being so young, went along with it. He had been very much in love with her as a child, and their parents had thought it had been the sweetest thing. He would do anything for his Sandy and protect her at all costs from everyone except Chad. Even as a child he was smart enough to not get between those two. After all, Sandy was hardly defenceless when it came to fighting with Chad Michael Murray. Over the years, she had perfected it.
"Hey, dream boy, give me a kiss." Sandy's lips met his forehead and he grinned as he was pulled back to the present. Just remembering Sandy as a little girl made him want to hug her close, so he did. She was so tiny she couldn't do anything as he curled her into his larger frame, lifting her off the floor.
She squealed like a little girl ,which made him spin her around and she hit him playfully.
"Jare, you’re like an overgrown puppy! Put me down before people think your harassing me and call security." She tried to sound firm, but was too busy giggling.
Jared just ignored her and started to walk away from the restaurant still carrying her. "Come on, Murray; lets go see Ang... Oh, I mean, get you ‘something sweet‘". He laughed as Chad rolled his eyes and flipped him off, but followed them anyway.
Sandy had stopped her protests, and he swung her onto his back where she sat comfortably like she had a hundred times before. "You know, Hercules, you may have ruined me for all men." She squeezed his muscles as she said this.
He just laughed and nodded, "which is probably a good thing. No guy is good enough for you and none are man enough to go through me and Chad first."
Chad piped up at that and smirked. "Yeah, face it. You’re never dating anyone unless it’s me or Jay. No other guy is good enough, so it may as well be Jay. Everyone thinks you two are together anyways." Jared didn't miss the slightly bitter tone in his friends voice.
Sandy huffed at that and started to tell Chad off for treating her like a child. Jared felt smug at the fact he wasn't being told off. Sandy let him get away with a lot more than she let Chad. He watched as another conversation seemed to take place, one that wasn’t heard aloud and he wished once again they would admit how they felt
He knew Chad was right, everyone had expected him and Sandy to get together, so much so that when he turned 14 he had felt it was expected of him to take her out on a date. He remembered going to the movies and how Chad had not talked to him for two days. At the time he thought it was because he felt left out, but now he knew better. Chad had been jealous. Chad now knew Jared and Sandy were like brother and sister and were better off that way. The date had been nice enough; they were already friends, but as he had leaned in for a kiss, Sandy had stopped him.
She had told him they didn't need to do it just because they were expected to and that she really didn't think she was his type. He had been confused and felt a little rejected. Sandy had seen this, so she did kiss him. It had been his first kiss; it been sweet and short, and as they pulled back he realised what she had meant. He felt nothing more than the love that had always been there; no attraction or anything. She had smiled sweetly in sympathy before telling him in the most gentle way she could that he was gay.
At first he had thought she was joking because he wasn't attracted to her, but then she had started to explain things that made him begin to realise she was right, scary as it was. He didn't speak to her for a whole week, which was a record for them. At least their fall out got Chad speaking to him again. When he and Sandy finally spoke again, it was with an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't mention the gay thing again.
That had lasted until he was 15.
"So you still haven't told him?" Her soft voice spoke against his ear as they watched Chad flirt with Angela Cross. It was scary how easily she could read him at times and he felt his heart fill with warmth and love for her. He knew he was lucky to have two best friends; they were both so great to him, which is why he hated to deceive Chad.
"It's not that simple Dee." He let out a sigh on her nick-name, the one from kindergarten, the one which only he was allowed to call her. He could feel her stroking his hair and he smiled, relaxing into her touch. She knew him so well.
"He loves you Jare; he wont care once he gets used to it, you know that." She was hugging him against her from behind as she perched on the railings, her legs still wrapped around him.
He knew she was right, but he couldn’t help but think about how religious their families were and how they didn't accept that kind of thing. He knew, for this reason as well as others, Chad would find it difficult. He decided he didn't want to think about it too much today. "You know, you really never will get a boyfriend with the way you are with me." He looked smugly at her, "I like that idea, unless, of course you decide to tell Chad how you really feel. I'm all for that."
She just raised her eyebrow giving him the look that told him ‘I’m letting this drop, for now,’ before smirking. "Yeah, that is true, but you’re not going to get one either, so it's all good. And, I feel nothing other than love formed out of pity for that boy.”
Jared didn't miss the glare she sent at Angela or the way Chad kept glancing at Sandy rather than focusing on what Angela was saying.
He thought about what Sandy said about him not dating, blushing red at the thought of having a boyfriend and placed her on the floor gently as she laughed at him.
"Only just noticed this works both ways? You see, if everyone thinks we are together, then neither one of us will ever get laid."
Jared had blushed even more as she continued with an evil grin. "So, unless you intend to take my virginity as well as my first kiss, gay boy, I figure eventually you will have to allow me to date."
Jared had scowled at her. "Never. You will be a virgin till you marry and it will be some guy I choose. By the way, only Murray will ever be good enough for you." He knew really he couldn't stop her dating, but he could try to keep the guys away a little longer. He really could only ever see himself happy with Chad as her boyfriend; Chad worshipped Sandy as much as he did, maybe more, and despite the amount of girls he dated, he was a good guy. He had never deceived a girl he dated or forced anything on them, and Jared had suspected they never lasted because he only wanted one girl.
She just rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Sooner or later you will have to let me grow up; but I’m serious, Jare. No guy will compare to you; you have ruined me."
Jared felt immense love as he wrapped her in a tight hug knowing he would die to protect her. "Yeah, Dee, no guy will ever love you and care for you the way I do."
"What about me?" Chad had rejoined them and grinned as he sandwiched Sandy between them in their group hug.
Jared didn't miss the blush on Sandy's face, despite her calm words, as she wiggled free. "Oh yeah, forgot about you. Besides, I wasn't talking about love and care, I just meant no guy will have the muscles Jare has. Not even you, Murray."
She gave an evil grin and skipped away from them before they could process what she had said. Jared and Chad both gave chase when they realised. Jared knew Chad was thinking just like him, that Sandy should not be thinking about any guys muscles, unless it was theirs. Though he suspected Chad was thinking maybe she should consider his muscles, especially the way he glanced at his own arms as they followed their petite friend.
She stopped suddenly by a photo both and was pushing some coins in just as they caught up to her. She shoved them in despite their protest, Chad first then Jared. She climbed into his lap but hugged Chad to her. He didn't miss the look his friends shared before they all posed for the photos.
He wondered if Sandy's teasing was finally hitting home with Chad, that she was a girl who would start dating if he didn't act soon. Chad had started to get more possessive lately, and he was dating less, so Jared had high hopes for them. As the camera flashed, he decided that if those two managed to get together, he would tell Chad his secret.
In the end, they had 12 pictures taken so they could have a strip each. He loved photos and knew these would join the many of his friends and family that he had in his room.
They spent the rest of the day shopping and fooling around, and Jared never felt so happy with his friends. He knew he was a lucky guy. It was getting towards the end of the day, and they were in a music store where Sandy had been chatting to some guy that looked like one of those emo kids. Jared had nothing against people being different, just with people flirting with his Sandy.
Though, before he could get in there, he realised Chad had also had enough. Chad strode over, taking Sandy's hand in his, and pulled her towards the exit. He had quickly followed knowing it was going to be bad. Sandy was sweet, but she would full on bitch out at being manhandled by Chad. Sure enough, as he walked out, she was scowling and ready to hurl abuse at their friend, and Jared winced for Chad. But the words never left her lips due to Chad’s mouth covering hers.
He could see Chad and Sandy both take in a shocked breath at the same time, but she recovered quickly and melted into Chad’s kiss. Jared just watched with a big grin on his lips shouting, "about damn time!"
He laughed and hugged them both as they pulled apart blushing, but not letting go of each others hand. Chad had looked at him nervously, "so your ok with this man?"
Jared had grinned. "Course I am. Was wondering when you would figure it out."
Sandy hit both of them. "Why are you two talking about me like you decide my fate?" She then poked Chad in the chest, "and maybe you should be asking me if this is ok, not Jared."
Chad looked unsure for a moment, but then smiled and kissed her so sweetly that Jared felt like he was intruding on a private moment. His two friends stared into each others eyes for a moment and both smiled, blushing slightly, no words needed.
Then he remembered his promise to himself and he never backed down on a promise. He would tell Chad everything tomorrow.
Tonight, he wanted to enjoy his friends and their new found relationship, just in case Chad took it badly.
As they left the mall, Sandy was walking hand in hand with Chad for once, and not Jared. He couldn't be happier for them, except he did feel a little lonely and hoped things wouldn't change. Then Chad slung his arm over his shoulder and grinned.
"Want me to hold your hand too, honey, so you don't feel left out?" He then planted a wet kiss on Jared's cheek.
Jared laughed out loud with his friends before taking Chad’s hand in his, pretending to be all girly and in love, which had all three friends laughing. Things were changing, but they would always be friends, and, as he scooped up Sandy and ran away from Chad he shouted, "I married her in kindergarten. She’s mine!"
He knew everything would be okay as his friends laughed, Chad giving chase, tackling him to the ground and all three of them rolled onto their backs laughing. Chad loved him, and he would never turn his back on him. That thought calmed him inside, and he sighed, content, as he stared up at the sky.
His friends picked up on his calm state and joined him in staring at the sky. He loved that about his friends; they always seemed to know what to say or do, and no moment was pushed or false.
Sandy held each of their hands in hers as she lay between them. "Promise me we will always be friends like this guys, no matter what happens."
There was silence for a few seconds and Jared knew Chad, like himself, was thinking of laughing off the sudden seriousness in Sandy's tone. Sandy was rarely serious, unless it called for it. All of them felt the change around them; they were growing up, finding relationships and they were all scared of being pulled apart.
So with a gentle squeeze of her hands and a soft whisper full of sincerity, lacking any mocking, they both responded, "promise."
Sandy just squeezed their hands, thanking them.
*********
Present
Jared stared at the photo on the ground before tucking it into the cast on his arm, not taking any notice of the lump in his throat or the tears threatening to fall.
It was all gone now.
Some promises just couldn't be kept.
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