and if we must
the round room, sound bar; chicago
AND IF WE MUST
not every night does it for me. but i always seem
to find myself deep in to it. sipping a drink
or catching a taxi cab a couple of miles up the road.
uptown
to downtown. downtown
to river north. river north
over to the gold coast (all the while
trying desperately to steer clear of lincoln park).
but like i said,
not every night does it for me.
some nights
the frosted flakes have not gone down well. the drinks
are weak. and the people seem less clever
than ever.
on nights like this
you can fuck with anything you like. just don't fuck
with my thoughts. let me stand quietly
and sip my jacks
over coke.
these days i have a lovely wife to manage,
a small child to raise,
and my own portion of the earth's money to utilize wisely.
if you happen to start a conversation with me
i may not answer. it's not that i don't somehow like you. it's not
that i feel we'll never become famously friendly.
it's just that i have a lot on my mind
and never enough time to think things through.
i'm not always ready
to make nice. make small talk. or make believe.
when you see me in this state of being
just smile
and move along. if i happen to notice,
i'll remember you the next time
a happy moment finds us leaning in to the same bar.
because trust me. as much as i despise people,
i love them just the same. none of us could possibly exist
without each other,
good or bad.
the rich need the poor. the poor need the beautiful. and the beautiful
need it all.
but not every night
does it for all of us.
some nights
we cannot do anything for each other until
we have drank,
laughed,
or loved in some way that we never could before.