same ole, same ole
I need to find a boyfriend so that there will be one person in the world who cares about me, whom I can also be in the same room as (meaning not internet friends, like you who have been so very good to me, or my few long distance friends i'm still somewhat in touch with).
I've had a terrible week and tonight was terrible. My health would have been O.K., but as you all know my father is a mother fucking asshole.
I can't write about the details it's too upsetting, the summary is he fucked up my HEALTH INSURANCE!!!. Yep. That's all I can say. right now.
And I left a very upset message at a friend's and neither she nor her husband called me. I tried cutting my wrists with a double edge razor blade that I took from my father's razor, but I it's much harder than I thought.
There is not one holiday in the year in which I have an invitation to be any where. My fucking erstwhile "best friend" doesn't even invite me to her family christmas. And I know all of her family because we've known each other out entire lives. 3 years ago I was invited, and I had a wonderful time. I entertained her 2 year olds, I visited with her elderly relatives, whom I've also known my whole life. Her 90-something and infirm aunt LOVED the brownies I made. Another friend of hers gets invited every year. Even though he gets to have Christmas the next day with his children, parents and brother. Both he and her husband think it's odd that I don't get invited to Christmas. I know this has been the caused of my depression for the last few weeks. It's so horrible to know that no one really gives a shit. All of you, of course, excluded. In fact, one of you is even going to visit me in January, which I am so very excited about! And I do have one friend in DC who is a true friend. But he's got custody of his kid (age 4), so his life is ruled by her, as it should be. He's very good to me and has offered to visit me and pay for a hotel because he knows it'd be stressful for me to have him and his daughter stay here given the state of the place and the lack of room because of the state of the place. (i.e. my father has not unpacked boxes that have been here nearly a year, so they are piled everywhere.)
I've had a terrible week and tonight was terrible. My health would have been O.K., but as you all know my father is a mother fucking asshole.
I can't write about the details it's too upsetting, the summary is he fucked up my HEALTH INSURANCE!!!. Yep. That's all I can say. right now.
And I left a very upset message at a friend's and neither she nor her husband called me. I tried cutting my wrists with a double edge razor blade that I took from my father's razor, but I it's much harder than I thought.
There is not one holiday in the year in which I have an invitation to be any where. My fucking erstwhile "best friend" doesn't even invite me to her family christmas. And I know all of her family because we've known each other out entire lives. 3 years ago I was invited, and I had a wonderful time. I entertained her 2 year olds, I visited with her elderly relatives, whom I've also known my whole life. Her 90-something and infirm aunt LOVED the brownies I made. Another friend of hers gets invited every year. Even though he gets to have Christmas the next day with his children, parents and brother. Both he and her husband think it's odd that I don't get invited to Christmas. I know this has been the caused of my depression for the last few weeks. It's so horrible to know that no one really gives a shit. All of you, of course, excluded. In fact, one of you is even going to visit me in January, which I am so very excited about! And I do have one friend in DC who is a true friend. But he's got custody of his kid (age 4), so his life is ruled by her, as it should be. He's very good to me and has offered to visit me and pay for a hotel because he knows it'd be stressful for me to have him and his daughter stay here given the state of the place and the lack of room because of the state of the place. (i.e. my father has not unpacked boxes that have been here nearly a year, so they are piled everywhere.)