Testing...
One Two...
Yep, still can't figure out anything to say that isn't going to get me blasted by someone. I'm tired of this limbo. I'm tired of wondering who is my friend and who has decided to drop me like a bad habit. I really have wanted to post a fuck you letter. But that's just juvenile. I understand some folks are angry at me. Justifiably so. So I'm waiting for them to decide they want to contact me and see about restore some kind of relationship. A little passive..ok incredibly passive. But I've been working on myself. I don't have time to grovel at the feet of every person that thinks I should.
However, one of the NNV I always had trouble with came crashing down around me. Discipline. I won't say I've got a handle on it, but I've definitely been working on it.
In other news, I feel really good about Festival of Souls this year. Things seem to be falling into place rather well. I still plan on having to run around Peirsol campgrounds like a headless chicken with it's ass on fire.
Jess and I are doing really well. I feel that alot of lines of communication that were blocked are reopening. For one I'm not afraid to make her upset anymore. If I've got something to say I'll say it. In the past I was scared to make whoever I was with angry because I feared they would leave me. I didn't think I was that attractive or smart. So what did they have to stay for right?
Still no baby on the way. I feel bad about that because she wants one so badly. I personally don't care either way. I don't get the NEED people have to have babies. It doesn't make sense to me. I get that instinct to propagate the species, but apparently I was born without it. I just don't understand how reason and logic can't beat that instinct into submission when it is not beneficial.
Ok, enough rambling. To sum up. I'm tired of wondering who my friends are. I can't beg forgiveness from everyone. Excited about FOS. Jess and I's relationship is getting stronger every day. No babies yet.
Yep, still can't figure out anything to say that isn't going to get me blasted by someone. I'm tired of this limbo. I'm tired of wondering who is my friend and who has decided to drop me like a bad habit. I really have wanted to post a fuck you letter. But that's just juvenile. I understand some folks are angry at me. Justifiably so. So I'm waiting for them to decide they want to contact me and see about restore some kind of relationship. A little passive..ok incredibly passive. But I've been working on myself. I don't have time to grovel at the feet of every person that thinks I should.
However, one of the NNV I always had trouble with came crashing down around me. Discipline. I won't say I've got a handle on it, but I've definitely been working on it.
In other news, I feel really good about Festival of Souls this year. Things seem to be falling into place rather well. I still plan on having to run around Peirsol campgrounds like a headless chicken with it's ass on fire.
Jess and I are doing really well. I feel that alot of lines of communication that were blocked are reopening. For one I'm not afraid to make her upset anymore. If I've got something to say I'll say it. In the past I was scared to make whoever I was with angry because I feared they would leave me. I didn't think I was that attractive or smart. So what did they have to stay for right?
Still no baby on the way. I feel bad about that because she wants one so badly. I personally don't care either way. I don't get the NEED people have to have babies. It doesn't make sense to me. I get that instinct to propagate the species, but apparently I was born without it. I just don't understand how reason and logic can't beat that instinct into submission when it is not beneficial.
Ok, enough rambling. To sum up. I'm tired of wondering who my friends are. I can't beg forgiveness from everyone. Excited about FOS. Jess and I's relationship is getting stronger every day. No babies yet.