End of Reunion
A few weeks ago, fallenhybrid commented about the end to this fic called Reunion I had been posting years ago but never finished. They’ve since deleted their account, I have no clue why. But I had started looking at the story, rewrote the ending and had fun with it and wanted to do something with it. So if anyone remembers this or wants something to read. Previous chapters are linked under the cut.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Disclaimer: They're not mine, all Josh Schwartz and the hotness of Mischa Barton and Olivia Wilde.
Alex stormed into the bookstore forty-five minutes late. Julian looked up with a disapproving glare. The only response was “The da Vinci Code” tossed his general direction. The book slid down the counter and landed in the waste paper basket. He heard the storeroom door slam and the lock click shut.
“Okay,” he almost bent to pick up the book, but went for the door instead. “Alex?” he knocked gently. “Alex? You okay?” Silence. “Alex?” Julian knocked harder. “Alex come on, it’ll be okay, we’ll work it out, just open the door. Please?” He waited a few more seconds. “I really should fire you for this.”
Slowly the door creaked open. There were tears in her eyes, but she was proud to say she hadn’t cried yet.
“I fucked up Julian,” Alex whispered.
“What happened?”
“I let her stay - ”
“Who?”
“Marissa,” Alex paced back into the store, wringing her hands. “Nothing was going to happen. She was going to sleep on the couch, but she kept giving out hints. Really big hints. Then she’d go the other way. And I didn’t do anything…”
“So?” Julian attempted a hopeful grin.
“So?”
“So what happened?”
Alex shook her head and shrugged helplessly.
“What!?” Julian sat her down in a chair. “Okay, tell me everything.” Alex gave him a recapped version of the previous evening. His reaction wasn’t exactly what Alex needed to hear. “And you didn’t do anything? Are you crazy? The girl is practically begging you to sleep with her!”
“I know,” Alex cried. She was angry again. “But I won’t do it. Wouldn’t do it,” she corrected. She was having second thoughts now. “Before it was me with all the pick up lines and the double meanings, and I still had to ask where we were going. This time, if there’s going to be a this time,” she hiccupped and sternly forced back a sob. “It’s got to be her, she’s got to say it. I’m not digging my own grave a second time. Not unless she’s already there.”
“But,” Julian hesitated. “What if she’s scared?”
“So am I!” Alex bellowed. “I’m terrified. I’m terrified I’m in love with this girl.”
Julian raised both eyebrows, “At least we’re being honest now.”
“I should have done it,” Alex appeared not to have heard him. “I should have just taken the chance and slept with her. Cause now I’m wishing I had. I thought I was being smart and-”
The door of the shop creaked open and a customer peered his head in. Julian opened his mouth to ask ‘how may I help you’, but Alex beat him to it.
“We’re closed.” She snarled at him.
“But the sign says…”
“Out.”
The door shut timidly.
“Okay, that was uncalled for, but go on.” Julian sighed.
“Where was I?” Alex snapped.
“You were being safe.”
“Right, I thought I was being safe, being smart, being sensible. I’ve never been sensible before in my fucking life. And I thought I wouldn’t sleep with her and spare myself yet another broken heart. Well I honestly should have done it because nothing can feel worse than this.” Alex threw herself into a chair and looked at Julian, waiting for his answer. “What?” she cried, when he didn’t respond. “Talk to me, I need help. Come on Jules.”
“Well, you’ve got to tell her.” He said softly.
“Huh?”
“Tell her you love her.”
“What? No!” Alex yelped.
“Have you told her before?”
“No.”
“Then how does she know?” Julian asked.
“But I wasn’t I love with her before. I mean, I was, I just didn’t know it. It wasn’t until she was gone that I realized I loved her.”
“So how can she know?”
“I dunno, she doesn’t. But why should I tell her if I don’t even know if I have a chance?” Alex protested.
“Sounds to me like last night you had a pretty big chance.”
“Yeah, but look what happened last time…” Alex felt her defenses quickly deserting her.
“You were scared and so was she.”
“But…”
“Alex, when you fall in love you can’t just sit there. Even if it doesn’t last you have to enjoy what you can.”
“But endings hurt,” Alex whispered.
“Sweetheart, you’ve seen the movies, when love knocks you’ve got to answer it or you’re fucked and go to hell.”
“No,” Alex muttered.
“Okay, you don’t go to hell,” Julian admitted. “But you’re still fucked.”
“No, you’re not fucked.”
Julian stared at her, “Point taken. You are fucked over.” He took her hand. “I hate to sound cheesy and clichéd-”
“Oh don’t worry about that,” Alex interrupted bitterly. “Our first kiss was on a beach on Valentines day.”
Julian opened his mouth and hesitated. “Okay that is clichéd.” Alex nodded with a grimace. “You’ve got to take chances on the people you love. Even if it doesn’t work out you’ve got to try. If you don’t you regret it forever.”
“You mean like right now?” Alex asked.
“Umm, maybe, yeah.”
“Well I guess then I’m totally screwed.”
“Why?” Julian was almost afraid to ask.
“I don’t know where she went.”
“You mean, no address, no phone number?”
“She didn’t know where she was going. Oh god, I should have offered her a place to stay. She must think I hate her.” Alex moaned.
“Alex, chill. It’ll be okay.” He reached across the table and shook her shoulders gently. “But no phone number?”
“Well, I have her cell…”
“Call it.” Julian urged.
“Oh that’d be a great conversation,” Alex said sarcastically. “Oh hi Marissa, by the way, I love you. No,” Alex shook her head. “No it’s got to be in person.”
“That’s a crappy excuse,” Julian retorted.
“If I do it over the phone she could lie.” Alex said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“She’ll say she loves me too so she doesn’t hurt me. She hates getting into uncomfortable situations.” Alex snorted. “It’s a pity she’s so good at it.”
“How do you know she won’t lie to you in person?” Julian asked.
“She can’t,” Alex said firmly. “I know her too well, I can tell when she’s lying.”
“Yep you love her alright,” Julian said to no one in particular. Alex groaned and buried her head in her hands.
***
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month. Alex was fast giving up hope on ever finding Marissa. She had contemplated calling Summer to see if Marissa had gone home, but that would mean revealing she had seen Marissa in the first place. Julian was all for putting a want ad in the paper, but Alex told him quite plainly to go to hell. She was quite certain now the whole thing was bad for her mental and physical well-being, but the only cure she could think of was finding Marissa. She had dreamt up countless scenarios where they met by accident and Alex blew her off her feet being casually romantic and they lived happily ever after. While the realistic side of her was still wondering if they’d ever meet again.
“I thought I saw her today,” Alex said to Julian as they were closing up the store.
“Really,” Julian looked up from the cash register. “Was it her?”
Alex snorted. “No.”
“You’ll find her,” Julian said confidently.
“If you say so,” Alex muttered. His confidence in the whole thing was both depressing and uplifting. “I’m off, I have to do laundry today.”
Julian looked up. “Alex, baby, darling, have I told you today that you look beautiful? You look beautiful.”
Alex raised an eyebrow at him, “No way.”
“Alex, precious, darling.”
“Say please.”
“Please Alwex walex?”
“Don’t call me Alwex walex.”
“Please, Alex, pretty please?”
“Fine,” Alex groaned. “What this time?”
“Two shirts and a jacket,” Julian said immediately. “In the back, on hangers.”
“Do you want starch?” Alex asked as she headed to collect them. She rolled her eyes when she saw they were conveniently placed just above her laundry pile.
“Yes, please.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you so much, my angel of the clean clothes.” He planted a kiss on her cheek as she went by.
“Bye Jules,” Alex called over her shoulder as she went out the door. She had gotten used to doing Julian’s laundry, she did at least one of his shirts every time she washed any of her own clothes. She knew he was probably just lazy but she couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t have a serious washing machine phobia.
The laundromat was quiet when she got there, her favorite corner was open and after loading her clothes she plopped down the plastic lawn chair to wait. She had fantasized meeting Marissa at the laundromat. It would be a sunny day and Marissa would be doing her laundry, loading clothes, and Alex would come in, Marissa would look up, Alex would smile - and all would be perfect. When it actually happened it was nothing like Alex’s dream.
It had started raining while Alex waited and when Marissa came in her hair looked like it had the day she had moved into Alex’s apartment. Alex saw Marissa first, instantly her mouth went dry and she had the vague urge to vomit. She swallowed, she had a job to do, somehow she had to tell Marissa she loved her. Five minutes before she had wanted to do it so badly, now she was terrified. None of the scenes she had thought up worked now. Screaming the words across the room seemed like a very good idea, but not the most tactful. Alex gulped, Marissa had seen her.
“Hey,” Marissa set down her basket next to Alex’s machine.
“Hi,” Alex got a real look at her. She looked good, looked beautiful. Even in a faded sweatshirt and ripped jeans she looked beautiful. But something had changed; she looked less frantic, almost serene in a way.
“How have you been?” Marissa asked.
“Okay,” Alex shrugged. “Nothing new.”
“Still working in a book store?” Marissa smiled.
“Yeah,” Alex couldn’t tell if she was teasing or not. “What about you? How have you been?”
“Good actually,” Marissa nodded. “Really, really good.”
“Great. Find a place to live?”
“Yeah, little apartment. Smaller than yours, but it’s fine.”
“Great,” Alex looked around the room for something to say. A voice in her head was telling her to just say it, but the voice sounded suspiciously like Julian and she ignored it. She couldn’t tell her in a Laundromat, just couldn’t. So instead she said the next thing that came into her head. “You look good.”
“What?”
“I mean,” Alex bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to say that. “Different, calmer.”
“I am calmer,” Marissa admitted. “My life is a lot slower now.”
“Is that good?”
Marissa looked away. “I think so,” she said slowly. “I don’t have time for the things I did in my old life. I have to think about rent and feeding myself.”
“Keeps you grounded, doesn’t it.”
“Yeah.”
The next hour passed quicker than Alex expected. If Alex was forced to be honest, she would have bet Marissa wouldn’t survive a week on her own. But Marissa was, once again, proving her wrong. She had an apartment, worked at a clothing boutique and was actually caught up on her rent. Alex told Marissa all about Julian and promised to introduce him.
“Um,” Marissa hesitated, loading the last of her clothes in her basket. “My apartment is just down the street, do you want to come over?”
“Yeah,” Alex felt her stomach start to writhe again. “I’d like that.”
Marissa’s apartment was on the third floor of a five-story walk up. It was smaller than Alex’s, but not crowded, the way Alex’s apartment had become.
“You’re not seeing it on one of its cleaner days,” Marissa confessed, pushing a pile of shoes out of the way. Alex smirked, she was glad to see that part of Marissa hadn’t changed.
“That’s okay,” Alex shrugged. “Half of Julian’s stuff is residing in mine.” She followed Marissa’s lead and sat gingerly on the edge of the couch.
“He likes to lend?”
“No,” Alex groaned. “He just comes over and leaves stuff. Even though I’ve told him a hundred times he can’t move in with me.”
“Sounds like a nice friend.” Alex could hear the jealousy in Marissa’s voice.
“Don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes,” Alex said. Marissa was quiet, Alex watched her toying with a question. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Spill.”
“You said once,” Marissa shifted imperceptibly closer. “That every time I came into your life everything was totally fucked up. Is it really that bad?”
“No,” Alex said quickly. She couldn’t believe she had said that. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Yeah...” Marissa sounded so reluctant it was painful. Alex took a deep breath.
“You broke my heart when we broke up. I don’t know how, but you did. I spent a month after I came here lying in bed feeling like I’d been shot. I love you.” She shrugged. After a month of saying it in solitude, the words were easy off her tongue. “I love you. I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t planed, but I love you.” Marissa looked away and Alex lost her nerve. “And it’s okay, if you don’t. I just thought you should know. I just need to know where I am and-”
“Alex,” Marissa put a hand gently over Alex’s mouth. “You’re babbling.”
“I know,” she said around Marissa’s fingers.
Marissa didn’t move, her fingertips still warm on Alex’s lips. “I want to kiss you.”
“Okay,” Alex gulped. Her heart rate doubled. “Kiss me.”
“No.”
Cold crashed through her ribcage. “Um, I’m going to go.” She started to get up.
“Yeah,” Marissa sighed and dropped her hand. “I wanted to kiss you because I haven’t had anyone love me in a long time, maybe never.”
“Do you love me?” Alex sank back onto the couch.
“Probably,” Marissa pulled her knees under her chin. “You don’t want to love me Alex. I’m a terrible person, I’m not easy to love. I hurt things.”
“I know that,” Alex said. “You hurt me.”
“And you still love me?”
“Yup.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah.” The conversation had become so surreal that Alex’s shoulders shook with a chuckle. “Can I try to love you? And maybe you could like me a little?”
“Oh I like you Alex,” Marissa grinned. “I like you a lot, I always have.”
“You have?” Alex said skeptically.
“Yeah. And then you started to get me. That was scary.”
“I won’t hurt you,” Alex promised. She opened her arms and Marissa crashed against her side, her head buried in Alex’s neck.
“What if I hurt you?” her voiced was muffled.
“I’m tough.”
Marissa raised her head, her eyelashes wet, and rolled her eyes. Alex kissed her. Nothing rushed or desperate, just two people who knew each other very well coming back together. A reunion.
el fin
Author's note: so this was fun to write and fun to revisit. Thanks to any readers especially after such a large gap between chapters, you guys rock.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Disclaimer: They're not mine, all Josh Schwartz and the hotness of Mischa Barton and Olivia Wilde.
Alex stormed into the bookstore forty-five minutes late. Julian looked up with a disapproving glare. The only response was “The da Vinci Code” tossed his general direction. The book slid down the counter and landed in the waste paper basket. He heard the storeroom door slam and the lock click shut.
“Okay,” he almost bent to pick up the book, but went for the door instead. “Alex?” he knocked gently. “Alex? You okay?” Silence. “Alex?” Julian knocked harder. “Alex come on, it’ll be okay, we’ll work it out, just open the door. Please?” He waited a few more seconds. “I really should fire you for this.”
Slowly the door creaked open. There were tears in her eyes, but she was proud to say she hadn’t cried yet.
“I fucked up Julian,” Alex whispered.
“What happened?”
“I let her stay - ”
“Who?”
“Marissa,” Alex paced back into the store, wringing her hands. “Nothing was going to happen. She was going to sleep on the couch, but she kept giving out hints. Really big hints. Then she’d go the other way. And I didn’t do anything…”
“So?” Julian attempted a hopeful grin.
“So?”
“So what happened?”
Alex shook her head and shrugged helplessly.
“What!?” Julian sat her down in a chair. “Okay, tell me everything.” Alex gave him a recapped version of the previous evening. His reaction wasn’t exactly what Alex needed to hear. “And you didn’t do anything? Are you crazy? The girl is practically begging you to sleep with her!”
“I know,” Alex cried. She was angry again. “But I won’t do it. Wouldn’t do it,” she corrected. She was having second thoughts now. “Before it was me with all the pick up lines and the double meanings, and I still had to ask where we were going. This time, if there’s going to be a this time,” she hiccupped and sternly forced back a sob. “It’s got to be her, she’s got to say it. I’m not digging my own grave a second time. Not unless she’s already there.”
“But,” Julian hesitated. “What if she’s scared?”
“So am I!” Alex bellowed. “I’m terrified. I’m terrified I’m in love with this girl.”
Julian raised both eyebrows, “At least we’re being honest now.”
“I should have done it,” Alex appeared not to have heard him. “I should have just taken the chance and slept with her. Cause now I’m wishing I had. I thought I was being smart and-”
The door of the shop creaked open and a customer peered his head in. Julian opened his mouth to ask ‘how may I help you’, but Alex beat him to it.
“We’re closed.” She snarled at him.
“But the sign says…”
“Out.”
The door shut timidly.
“Okay, that was uncalled for, but go on.” Julian sighed.
“Where was I?” Alex snapped.
“You were being safe.”
“Right, I thought I was being safe, being smart, being sensible. I’ve never been sensible before in my fucking life. And I thought I wouldn’t sleep with her and spare myself yet another broken heart. Well I honestly should have done it because nothing can feel worse than this.” Alex threw herself into a chair and looked at Julian, waiting for his answer. “What?” she cried, when he didn’t respond. “Talk to me, I need help. Come on Jules.”
“Well, you’ve got to tell her.” He said softly.
“Huh?”
“Tell her you love her.”
“What? No!” Alex yelped.
“Have you told her before?”
“No.”
“Then how does she know?” Julian asked.
“But I wasn’t I love with her before. I mean, I was, I just didn’t know it. It wasn’t until she was gone that I realized I loved her.”
“So how can she know?”
“I dunno, she doesn’t. But why should I tell her if I don’t even know if I have a chance?” Alex protested.
“Sounds to me like last night you had a pretty big chance.”
“Yeah, but look what happened last time…” Alex felt her defenses quickly deserting her.
“You were scared and so was she.”
“But…”
“Alex, when you fall in love you can’t just sit there. Even if it doesn’t last you have to enjoy what you can.”
“But endings hurt,” Alex whispered.
“Sweetheart, you’ve seen the movies, when love knocks you’ve got to answer it or you’re fucked and go to hell.”
“No,” Alex muttered.
“Okay, you don’t go to hell,” Julian admitted. “But you’re still fucked.”
“No, you’re not fucked.”
Julian stared at her, “Point taken. You are fucked over.” He took her hand. “I hate to sound cheesy and clichéd-”
“Oh don’t worry about that,” Alex interrupted bitterly. “Our first kiss was on a beach on Valentines day.”
Julian opened his mouth and hesitated. “Okay that is clichéd.” Alex nodded with a grimace. “You’ve got to take chances on the people you love. Even if it doesn’t work out you’ve got to try. If you don’t you regret it forever.”
“You mean like right now?” Alex asked.
“Umm, maybe, yeah.”
“Well I guess then I’m totally screwed.”
“Why?” Julian was almost afraid to ask.
“I don’t know where she went.”
“You mean, no address, no phone number?”
“She didn’t know where she was going. Oh god, I should have offered her a place to stay. She must think I hate her.” Alex moaned.
“Alex, chill. It’ll be okay.” He reached across the table and shook her shoulders gently. “But no phone number?”
“Well, I have her cell…”
“Call it.” Julian urged.
“Oh that’d be a great conversation,” Alex said sarcastically. “Oh hi Marissa, by the way, I love you. No,” Alex shook her head. “No it’s got to be in person.”
“That’s a crappy excuse,” Julian retorted.
“If I do it over the phone she could lie.” Alex said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“She’ll say she loves me too so she doesn’t hurt me. She hates getting into uncomfortable situations.” Alex snorted. “It’s a pity she’s so good at it.”
“How do you know she won’t lie to you in person?” Julian asked.
“She can’t,” Alex said firmly. “I know her too well, I can tell when she’s lying.”
“Yep you love her alright,” Julian said to no one in particular. Alex groaned and buried her head in her hands.
***
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month. Alex was fast giving up hope on ever finding Marissa. She had contemplated calling Summer to see if Marissa had gone home, but that would mean revealing she had seen Marissa in the first place. Julian was all for putting a want ad in the paper, but Alex told him quite plainly to go to hell. She was quite certain now the whole thing was bad for her mental and physical well-being, but the only cure she could think of was finding Marissa. She had dreamt up countless scenarios where they met by accident and Alex blew her off her feet being casually romantic and they lived happily ever after. While the realistic side of her was still wondering if they’d ever meet again.
“I thought I saw her today,” Alex said to Julian as they were closing up the store.
“Really,” Julian looked up from the cash register. “Was it her?”
Alex snorted. “No.”
“You’ll find her,” Julian said confidently.
“If you say so,” Alex muttered. His confidence in the whole thing was both depressing and uplifting. “I’m off, I have to do laundry today.”
Julian looked up. “Alex, baby, darling, have I told you today that you look beautiful? You look beautiful.”
Alex raised an eyebrow at him, “No way.”
“Alex, precious, darling.”
“Say please.”
“Please Alwex walex?”
“Don’t call me Alwex walex.”
“Please, Alex, pretty please?”
“Fine,” Alex groaned. “What this time?”
“Two shirts and a jacket,” Julian said immediately. “In the back, on hangers.”
“Do you want starch?” Alex asked as she headed to collect them. She rolled her eyes when she saw they were conveniently placed just above her laundry pile.
“Yes, please.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you so much, my angel of the clean clothes.” He planted a kiss on her cheek as she went by.
“Bye Jules,” Alex called over her shoulder as she went out the door. She had gotten used to doing Julian’s laundry, she did at least one of his shirts every time she washed any of her own clothes. She knew he was probably just lazy but she couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t have a serious washing machine phobia.
The laundromat was quiet when she got there, her favorite corner was open and after loading her clothes she plopped down the plastic lawn chair to wait. She had fantasized meeting Marissa at the laundromat. It would be a sunny day and Marissa would be doing her laundry, loading clothes, and Alex would come in, Marissa would look up, Alex would smile - and all would be perfect. When it actually happened it was nothing like Alex’s dream.
It had started raining while Alex waited and when Marissa came in her hair looked like it had the day she had moved into Alex’s apartment. Alex saw Marissa first, instantly her mouth went dry and she had the vague urge to vomit. She swallowed, she had a job to do, somehow she had to tell Marissa she loved her. Five minutes before she had wanted to do it so badly, now she was terrified. None of the scenes she had thought up worked now. Screaming the words across the room seemed like a very good idea, but not the most tactful. Alex gulped, Marissa had seen her.
“Hey,” Marissa set down her basket next to Alex’s machine.
“Hi,” Alex got a real look at her. She looked good, looked beautiful. Even in a faded sweatshirt and ripped jeans she looked beautiful. But something had changed; she looked less frantic, almost serene in a way.
“How have you been?” Marissa asked.
“Okay,” Alex shrugged. “Nothing new.”
“Still working in a book store?” Marissa smiled.
“Yeah,” Alex couldn’t tell if she was teasing or not. “What about you? How have you been?”
“Good actually,” Marissa nodded. “Really, really good.”
“Great. Find a place to live?”
“Yeah, little apartment. Smaller than yours, but it’s fine.”
“Great,” Alex looked around the room for something to say. A voice in her head was telling her to just say it, but the voice sounded suspiciously like Julian and she ignored it. She couldn’t tell her in a Laundromat, just couldn’t. So instead she said the next thing that came into her head. “You look good.”
“What?”
“I mean,” Alex bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to say that. “Different, calmer.”
“I am calmer,” Marissa admitted. “My life is a lot slower now.”
“Is that good?”
Marissa looked away. “I think so,” she said slowly. “I don’t have time for the things I did in my old life. I have to think about rent and feeding myself.”
“Keeps you grounded, doesn’t it.”
“Yeah.”
The next hour passed quicker than Alex expected. If Alex was forced to be honest, she would have bet Marissa wouldn’t survive a week on her own. But Marissa was, once again, proving her wrong. She had an apartment, worked at a clothing boutique and was actually caught up on her rent. Alex told Marissa all about Julian and promised to introduce him.
“Um,” Marissa hesitated, loading the last of her clothes in her basket. “My apartment is just down the street, do you want to come over?”
“Yeah,” Alex felt her stomach start to writhe again. “I’d like that.”
Marissa’s apartment was on the third floor of a five-story walk up. It was smaller than Alex’s, but not crowded, the way Alex’s apartment had become.
“You’re not seeing it on one of its cleaner days,” Marissa confessed, pushing a pile of shoes out of the way. Alex smirked, she was glad to see that part of Marissa hadn’t changed.
“That’s okay,” Alex shrugged. “Half of Julian’s stuff is residing in mine.” She followed Marissa’s lead and sat gingerly on the edge of the couch.
“He likes to lend?”
“No,” Alex groaned. “He just comes over and leaves stuff. Even though I’ve told him a hundred times he can’t move in with me.”
“Sounds like a nice friend.” Alex could hear the jealousy in Marissa’s voice.
“Don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes,” Alex said. Marissa was quiet, Alex watched her toying with a question. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Spill.”
“You said once,” Marissa shifted imperceptibly closer. “That every time I came into your life everything was totally fucked up. Is it really that bad?”
“No,” Alex said quickly. She couldn’t believe she had said that. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Yeah...” Marissa sounded so reluctant it was painful. Alex took a deep breath.
“You broke my heart when we broke up. I don’t know how, but you did. I spent a month after I came here lying in bed feeling like I’d been shot. I love you.” She shrugged. After a month of saying it in solitude, the words were easy off her tongue. “I love you. I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t planed, but I love you.” Marissa looked away and Alex lost her nerve. “And it’s okay, if you don’t. I just thought you should know. I just need to know where I am and-”
“Alex,” Marissa put a hand gently over Alex’s mouth. “You’re babbling.”
“I know,” she said around Marissa’s fingers.
Marissa didn’t move, her fingertips still warm on Alex’s lips. “I want to kiss you.”
“Okay,” Alex gulped. Her heart rate doubled. “Kiss me.”
“No.”
Cold crashed through her ribcage. “Um, I’m going to go.” She started to get up.
“Yeah,” Marissa sighed and dropped her hand. “I wanted to kiss you because I haven’t had anyone love me in a long time, maybe never.”
“Do you love me?” Alex sank back onto the couch.
“Probably,” Marissa pulled her knees under her chin. “You don’t want to love me Alex. I’m a terrible person, I’m not easy to love. I hurt things.”
“I know that,” Alex said. “You hurt me.”
“And you still love me?”
“Yup.”
“Weird.”
“Yeah.” The conversation had become so surreal that Alex’s shoulders shook with a chuckle. “Can I try to love you? And maybe you could like me a little?”
“Oh I like you Alex,” Marissa grinned. “I like you a lot, I always have.”
“You have?” Alex said skeptically.
“Yeah. And then you started to get me. That was scary.”
“I won’t hurt you,” Alex promised. She opened her arms and Marissa crashed against her side, her head buried in Alex’s neck.
“What if I hurt you?” her voiced was muffled.
“I’m tough.”
Marissa raised her head, her eyelashes wet, and rolled her eyes. Alex kissed her. Nothing rushed or desperate, just two people who knew each other very well coming back together. A reunion.
el fin
Author's note: so this was fun to write and fun to revisit. Thanks to any readers especially after such a large gap between chapters, you guys rock.