decisions
you know, sometimes it is just really hard to make a decision. the decision that i have to make within the next 24 hours is quite a big one, and i know that whatever i decide, people are going to have their feelings hurt. i am pretty sure i know what i am going to do, in fact, i think i am positive that i have made my decision, but every time i feel that i am close to solidifying my decision, the people i am going to affect pop into my head, slightly persuading me to reevaluate. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i just want to scream. i dont wanna hurt anyone's feelings, but i really just wanna do what i wanna do. yet i dont know if i will be able to explain that to one group or the other with them fully understanding my decision.
i have been thinking about this for quite awhile now. i have always wondered if it would top all the other years, making it the best one ever. i want to do both, but i cant. its impossible. after much discussion today with my sister, she helped me realize what i really wanted to do, instead of doing something just so that i wouldnt upset others. my sister is a wise gal....a little crazy sometimes, but smart as shit. she will tell you straight up what you need to hear, and that is exactly what she did with me. she asked me...."marisa...what do you want to do?? you and only you?? its your decision, your choice. no one can make you do one or the other. do what you want so you arent regretting it later." so true, yet so hard. i hate this feeling. i just wanna get this over with so that i can focus what i really should be focusing on....school, tests, the 3 dance performances i have this week, cleaning the apartment for the arrival of the 'rents this weekend. i have to decide by wednesday night the latest. that leaves me 2 days....2 i tell you...to tell one group no and the other group yes.
oh boy, this is gonna be rough, and people are gonna get hurt. i just dont want anyone to hate me, that's all. why is this so hard for me??
i have been thinking about this for quite awhile now. i have always wondered if it would top all the other years, making it the best one ever. i want to do both, but i cant. its impossible. after much discussion today with my sister, she helped me realize what i really wanted to do, instead of doing something just so that i wouldnt upset others. my sister is a wise gal....a little crazy sometimes, but smart as shit. she will tell you straight up what you need to hear, and that is exactly what she did with me. she asked me...."marisa...what do you want to do?? you and only you?? its your decision, your choice. no one can make you do one or the other. do what you want so you arent regretting it later." so true, yet so hard. i hate this feeling. i just wanna get this over with so that i can focus what i really should be focusing on....school, tests, the 3 dance performances i have this week, cleaning the apartment for the arrival of the 'rents this weekend. i have to decide by wednesday night the latest. that leaves me 2 days....2 i tell you...to tell one group no and the other group yes.
oh boy, this is gonna be rough, and people are gonna get hurt. i just dont want anyone to hate me, that's all. why is this so hard for me??