Fic: Oh we (we're not forever), could be (you're not the one), the best (2/2)
Oh we (we're not forever), could be (you're not the one), the best (2/2) || Read part 1 here
PG-13, 16,300-ish words
Human!AU, Band!Au
Read on AO3 here
Written for sterek_big_bang, soundtrack by Val Brown.
Derek Hale’s breakup from his band, The Hunters, was legendary. Even more so his breakup with lead singer, Kate Argent. Derek’s an amazing bass player-with a crappy attitude to match-but when the Scott McCall-fronted band Alpha gets a video audition from him to be their new bassist they can’t refuse. Even if drummer Stiles Stilinski has doubts about how well they’ll play together they can’t turn down the opportunity of a lifetime that could finally help them win the Battle of Beacon Hills and a shot at a recording contract. But that doesn’t mean he has to like the idea, or Derek Hale himself, even if he’s harbored a crush on the man since the first time he saw him step on stage. It’s just business! A shot at fame and nothing more. ... Probably.
Derek became, somehow, even more withdrawn during practice. He avoided Stiles like the plague but could feel the guy's eyes boring into him all the time. Allison, Kira and Scott were all still nice to him but Stiles' expression hovered between disdain and glaring any time their eyes met.
Walking in on Stiles flipping through his notebook sent a wave of fear and insecurity through him. He reacted the only way he knew how and that was to lash out. Stiles did, too, and Derek had no one to blame but himself.
He couldn't help the betrayal that he felt creeping back up in him from the debacle with Kate at the thought of writing for Alpha and them dumping him like a sack of potatoes. Was he worth more than that? He wasn't sure anymore and he didn't want to test it out now. He did enjoy this small group and their camaraderie; he wished he could work himself into it comfortably. He wished he could allow himself to say yes when they invited him for meals or to watch a movie or just to hand out.
He wanted all of it. But he had that once with Kate and The Hunters and they stabbed him in the back. He couldn't go through that again.
Laura was starting to notice that he wasn't getting "better" as she called it. She monitored the Alpha Facebook page and saw the pictures they posted, the fun times they documented, and how Derek wasn't in a single one of them since they announced him as their new bassist with such enthusiasm and excitement.
"Are they purposely leaving you out?" Laura asked one night, a few days after Stiles looked through his notebook.
"No," Derek replied.
"So they're intentionally inviting you to have fun with them and hang out and you're shutting yourself in your depressing apartment instead to wallow in whatever the hell is happening in your head?" Laura asked.
Derek didn't reply until Laura poked him in the arm with a sharp fingernail. He shuffled away on the sofa and bit out, "Looks like, doesn't it? I must want to be alone, then."
Laura eyed him for a long minute before pushing up off the couch. She kissed Derek on the top of his head and stroked his hair just the way she knew he liked.
"I know this is just your fear talking but you're letting it win. And if you keep up with this asshole behavior you've got going on you're not going to keep getting those invitations. These people are not Kate. You have to get that through your head before it's too late. I'll always be here for you but they don't know you like I do. Think about that before you go grumpy Derek on them, okay?"
Derek didn't reply and stayed still until he heard his apartment door close behind her. She was right. He wasn't in a place to admit that to her but he did to himself and that would be the first step. Had to be.
Laura was right and Derek needed to do something about that.
***
The next day he showed up to the house and let himself in without knocking. Weeks ago Scott assured him that he didn't need to wait to be let in, that he was part of the band and their group now.
"Mi casa es su casa!" Scott declared happily in a way that made Derek yearn for such trust and belief in people again.
Derek walked into the house and noticed that it was incredibly quiet, more so than he'd ever heard before. He could hear some sounds coming from the kitchen so he worked his way to the back of the first floor.
Derek dropped his guitar by the door and stood awkwardly, watching Stiles as he moved around the kitchen with familiarity.
"You coming in?" Stiles finally asked a minute later, words tossed easily over his shoulder.
"Where's everyone else?" Derek asked as he took exactly two steps forward.
"They'll be along. Picking up some last minute ingredients. Or, in Scott's case, probably buying something pre-made from the deli section of the store," Stiles said with a laugh. Derek frowned.
"Did I miss something? I thought we were going to practice," Derek said.
Stiles looked up with a smile. "A little later but Scott wanted us to have a kind of family supper before that."
Derek shook his head, cheeks flushing against his will. "No one told me. I ... I didn't know I should bring something. I should go." He turned to grab his guitar but Stiles was across the room and grabbing his shoulder before he knew it.
"No, hey. Don't go. We didn't tell you because we were sure you wouldn't show up if you knew. Scott likes to make sure we take time to relax and hang out without hanging out feeling like work. Y'know?"
Derek turned back. "Not really."
Now it was Stiles' turn to frown. "Jesus, Derek. You're in a band, not a chain gang. This is supposed to be fun."
Derek just nodded. Stiles quirked his head and gave him an inquiring look for a second, like he was sizing Derek up, but only for a moment. Then it was gone and he was retreating back to the kitchen.
Derek shoved his hands in his pockets, awkward feeling back. He watched Stiles work, stirring things in pots and poking something in the oven with a fork. Finally he sighed.
"Can I help?"
Stiles opened his mouth to reply and Derek could see that he was going to say no. Then he assessed the counters and nodded. "Yes. Yes, you can. Grate the cheese?" He nodded to a block of mozza sitting on the counter with the grater already waiting. Without comment Derek stepped up and started working on his task.
He wasn't sure how much they needed so he grated half the block and then nudged Stiles to check. He shrugged so Derek kept going and did the whole thing.
They worked quickly and efficiently, using very few words and hand gestures. Stiles was making some sort of casserole with chicken and some pasta, broccoli and lots of garlic. Derek wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but he was sure it was going to be good.
"We work well together," Stiles said lightly as he was getting ready to put the dish in the oven.
"I suppose," Derek replied and wanted to kick himself for the throwaway response but he didn't know what else to say.
It seemed to be the wrong thing to say because Stiles shoved the casserole in the oven and closed the door harder than necessary. He gave Derek a stony look and then disappeared out the back door to the yard where Derek had never been.
Derek waited about five minutes before following Stiles. He found him slumped in an old lawn chair in the back yard, picking at the threads from a hole in the knee of his jeans.
Derek sat down beside him on the grass and waited. Didn't take long.
"This is our only shot at this thing," Stiles said, voice more tired than angry.
"What do you mean?" Derek asked, looking up at Stiles, squinting into the sun.
"Scott hasn't come right out and said so but once the Battle is over if we don't win I think Alpha is done, at least done trying for... whatever comes. That'll be it if it's over. We'll play for fun, I guess, but it's coming to the point of do or die for us. I did a couple semesters in college while trying to be in the band but it didn't work out well for me. My dad really wants me to take the entrance exam to the police academy, sooner rather than later. Scott's got his heart set on working with Dr. Deaton at the vet clinic and it's a good thing for him.
"I think he wants to settle down with Allison. Get their own place and do the official couple thing. She and Kira have family businesses they can fall back on and Lydia deals with head hunters every damn day because she already graduated from college and is taking grad school courses 'in her free time'," Stiles said with air quotes and a mirthless laugh. "I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't want to give this up but everyone else has checked out."
"Music isn't easy," Derek said lightly but Stiles still shot him a dirty look.
"No shit, Sherlock. At first it was just fun to hang out and make music, you know? I loved sitting with Scott for hours and coming up with songs and having the girls get just as excited. Even Jackson, the guy you replaced, was on board with everything. I think things started to change when he left. It's like he saw the writing on the wall and shouted it to the rest of the band and now it's all they can see. Alpha's not going to make it," Stiles said glumly.
Derek was quiet for a moment, figuring out what he wanted to say. He wasn't the best at talking but if he wanted to try to make an in with this group this was the first step.
"I didn't want to be in another band at all before my sister submitted my videos," he started. Stiles gave him a look that seemed like it was going to launch into a 'fuck you' tirade so he continued. "When she told me about it I felt like she fucked me over just because she didn't like what I was doing with my life. But she was right, I wasn't doing anything with my life. For months, in fact. I stayed in my apartment and thought about how badly I'd been burned. She forced me to check out Alpha's Facebook and when I finally got over being a big baby about it I realized you guys are good.
"It's not just about putting a bunch of instruments together and making music. You don't 'make' music unless you feel it and you have a connection with your bandmates. That's what I saw with you guys."
"So why have you acted so much like you've got a giant stick up your ass?" Stiles asked bluntly.
Derek paused, then laughed. It came out of him, unbidden, and was loud and echoed in the small backyard. Stiles stared at him like he suddenly revealed he was an alien and it made Derek laugh even harder.
When he finally got himself under control and he was left with a few chuckles Stiles was grinning widely at him. "That's all it takes, huh?"
Derek nodded and coughed a little. "Guess so."
They sat together watching the birds and listening to the leaves rustle for a few minutes before Derek felt comfortable enough to speak again.
"It's nothing against you or anyone else in the band," Derek said softly. Stiles leaned in to give his full attention. "After what happened with The Hunters I got lost. You guys are..."
"A bit much?" Stiles supplied.
"What I've always thought a band should be," Derek said instead. Stiles blinked in surprise. "Being with Kate made me think I was in a great group and had the world ready for the taking. I wrote with her, or so I thought, but it was for her. But she acted like a dictator. Did you know we went through three drummers in four years?"
"Harsh," Stiles replied. Derek nodded.
"She had me wrapped around her little finger and I had no idea until she dumped me like garbage. Figured she had everything she could get out of me and shit all over everything I thought we were. As a couple, as a band, and myself as a person. How does that even happen?" Derek questioned but Stiles didn't have an answer.
"Sorry, dude. I wish there was something better I could say."
Derek shook his head and gave him a small smile. "I don't think there's anything anyone could say. But it's the first time I've said it out loud."
Stiles raised an eyebrow. "It's also the most I've heard you say in the past three weeks collectively."
Derek snorted but he felt like there was a breakthrough between them now. Like he got where Stiles was coming from and finally someone knew where Derek was coming from.
It was a start.
***
Instead of practicing after supper Scott wanted the band to go to Jungle to check out one of the other Battle bands that they'd be going up against. Stiles immediately looked across the table to Derek as if he expected him to make an excuse to escape but he nodded and agreed it would be nice to have a night off.
Everyone else at the table had a look of surprise but Scott quickly grinned and appeared pleased. Derek felt he made the right choice this time.
Walking into Jungle was an odd experience. Derek hadn't been in well over a year, probably since the last time The Hunters played there. It felt weird to be back but he was feeling at ease being with the band since his talk with Stiles.
Scott and Allison went to grab drinks for everyone while Stiles, Derek and Kira tried to find a table. They tried to find a table as close to the stage as possible and managed to grab a spot to the left and out of the way of the dance floor. While the band set up a DJ played club music with such deep bass that Derek could feel it in his bones.
"Cheap draft for everyone!" Scott crowed when he and Allison worked their way across the dance floor to the table. Derek gamely clinked glasses with everyone and settled back in the booth to take in the conversation.
Stiles sat across from him so Derek was able to watch him talk animatedly, using his hands for big gestures to get his point across. His cheeks reddened quickly from the beer and he laughed loudly and easily. Derek felt a little jealous at how freely Stiles carried himself, at how easy it was for him to draw attention without even noticing he was doing it.
Beside him Kira tapped him on the arm and he turned to her, ducking his head a bit to be able to hear her over the loud music.
"Doing okay?" she asked with a knowing expression.
Derek nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."
"I'm not a bar person, either, but it's fun with these guys," Kira said, nodding at the rest of the table.
"I'm starting to get that," Derek said and offered her a small smile. She grinned back and Derek couldn't help but smile wider at her.
Across the table Stiles suddenly stood up on the seat and started waving at someone wildly. Scott automatically reached out and wrapped an arm around Stiles' leg to keep him from losing his balance while Allison slid out of the booth so Stiles could scramble out.
Derek watched him bound across the dance floor and wrap his arms around a redhead in the middle of a large group of people. She gamely hugged him back and let him tug her back to their table. Derek got the impression that this was a common occurrence but it didn't stop him from wondering who she was and feeling jealous that she got such an enthusiastic greeting from Stiles.
"Lydia!" Scott cheered and Derek calmed somewhat, although he was acutely aware that Stiles was still holding Lydia's hand.
"Hello all," Lydia greeted them, nodding at everyone in turn. When she got to Derek her eyes narrowed as she gracefully shrugged off her coat. "So you're the new bassist."
"Derek," he said, offering her his hand. She accepted it and firmly shook his hand while staring him straight in the eye.
"I hear you're doing well and fitting in," she said in a way that didn't feel like a conversational comment, but more one to size him up.
"I think I am," Derek replied cautiously. Lydia seemed like she wanted to ask more but Stiles interrupted her.
"Who wants a second round before the band starts?" he asked, holding up the empty pitcher. Lydia slid into his empty spot in the booth beside Scott.
"Better make it two, looks like it's getting busier," Allison said, nodding to the crowd gathering at the bar.
"Glass of red for me, please," Lydia replied before she turned back to Derek.
"I'll come with you," he said, sliding out of his seat and following after Stiles. Lydia smirked at him with a knowing look and shook her head slightly at him as he went.
"That's the band manager?" Derek asked, leaning in closer to Stiles' ear so he could hear easier.
Stiles seemed to jump a little but nodded. "She's not around much because of school but she's amazing. How she does everything she does for us in the few hours a week she can spare is more than we could do put together. She's swung us free advertising for gigs, looked into getting us on some national tours, keeps us up to date with what our upcoming schedule looks like for gigs-stuff like that. She doesn't have to worry about anything if the band folds, though. I'm sure with those hours back she could cure cancer or something," Stiles joked.
"You like her?" Derek asked, aiming for a casual tone. They reached the bar and managed to work their way to the counter. Stiles turned toward Derek but he stayed facing forward, not wanting to look directly at Stiles.
Stiles shrugged. "Used to. Like her like that, I mean. We're best friends now but middle and high school were rough, holding out for her like I did. Didn't matter who else came up, no one could hold a candle to my crush on Lydia Martin."
"What changed?" Derek asked.
Stiles laughed. "She told me I didn't stand a chance, for one, and Theo Raeken. Transfer student in senior year. He was a total dick, it turned out, but for a couple weeks in October I realized pretty damn quick that Lydia wasn't the only person I had eyes for."
"What happened to Theo?" Derek wasn't sure he wanted to know but he was curious.
"Dunno. He was kind of weird anyway. I little too intense for me, anyway," Stiles finished. He managed to get the bartender's attention and pointed to the pitchers and a wine bottle. While they waited for the pitchers to be filled he turned back to Derek. "I feel like this is where I ask you if you have any stories of the one that got away but I think I know more already than you want me to."
It was Derek's turn to shrug. "It is what it is."
"Must make for some great songwriting material," Stiles said lightly. Derek just gave him a look and fished his wallet out and threw some bills down when the bartender brought their pitchers and glass of wine back.
"I got this one," Derek said.
"Thanks man," Stiles said and clapped Derek on the back before grabbing one of the pitchers and Lydia's wine.
Derek grabbed the other pitcher and went to follow Stiles but a hand on his back stopped him.
"Derek," a familiar voice purred in his ear. Derek barely repressed a shudder, either from the feeling of breath across his neck or because he knew that voice and it was recurring in his nightmares.
"Kate," he replied tightly, pulling away from her and putting some distance between them.
She looked gorgeous, of course. Her hair had its usual tousle that he used to think of as "just fucked", mainly because it was, by him. She was wearing skin tight leather pants, a thread-bare t-shirt and a leather jacket. What he used to see as edgy and rockstar he now saw as sad and desperate.
No matter how hot she was.
"What are you doing here? Bartending, maybe?" Kate asked, perfectly lined and glossed lips curved in a condescending smirk. She looked down at the pitcher in his hand that he wanted so badly to pour over her head.
"Not exactly," Derek replied, trying to stay calm. He hated this. Hated her for doing this to him. He was a grown adult, how did this woman still have such control over him? How could she make him feel as big as an ant, surrendering to the boot about to squash it?
Kate raised an eyebrow and he could see her start to figure things out. "You're kidding me. You've joined another band? What pathetic group of losers did you worm your way into?"
Derek's cheeks flamed read and he opened his mouth to bite back but a warm arm curved around his waist and Stiles came into view at his side. He must have gone around them and come up behind Derek so she wouldn't see him.
"Always good to see you, Kate. How's tricks?" Stiles asked with a grin as he pressed up against Derek's side with incredible familiarity much to Derek's surprise.
"Haven't learned that Trix are for kids yet, Stiles?" Kate mocked.
Stiles laughed. "The kind of tricks you know aren't appropriate for kids, Kate. Haven't you learned that yet?" he threw back.
Kate's face darkened and she pursed her lips. "At least my band has a pending record contract."
Derek felt his heart sink but Stiles laughed. "Kate, isn't that your positive affirmation every day? Because every band has a pending record contract, according to the most desperate member of it. And from what I hear, you're pretty damn desperate right now."
Derek didn't know what was going on but whatever Stiles said must have struck a nerve because Kate lost all semblance of cool and stepped forward, as if to get into Stiles' face. Derek took a step as well and this seemed to make her more angry, her face getting red as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Fuck your shitty band," she hissed before doing an about face and stalking off.
Derek waited until she was gone before turning to Stiles. "What the hell was that?"
Stiles let him go easily and reached out to take back the pitcher and glass of wine from the counter behind them. "I have a couple friends in other bands who are close to people in her band. They're all laughing behind her back. Her 'pending record contract'? Is from the Battle of Beacon Hills. Don't know how much you want to know-"
"All of it," Derek said grimly.
"I guess she's got an ear of one of the judges and thinks she's going to be able to swing his vote for them. She's freaking because she doesn't think the songs she has now are as strong as when you were in the band. Everyone's already heard them all and she wants new stuff. But I guess the guy who took your place isn't a writer or that great a bassist and the only thing he's good at is, well. Personal between them."
"Is that your way of trying to say that she's fucking the new bassist?" Derek asked and Stiles nodded. Derek shrugged. "Figured."
"Sorry, man," Stiles said.
"For what? Seeing her for the first time since we broke up wasn't as bad as I built it up in my head and watching you make her head explode was actually pretty cathartic. I knew she wouldn't be alone long when she dumped me and I had a hunch she was cheating on me. But knowing that she's losing her mind over not having control over her band and the songs right now? Probably the best thing I could have heard ever," Derek explained, feeling lighter with every word. He realized everything he said was the truth and he didn't have to push it down and hide from it.
From across the room Derek caught sight of Kate who was staring straight at him. He looked away but out of the corner of his eye he saw her lift something in the air. He glanced back and felt his breath catch.
She was holding up one of his old notebooks. One that he thought was somewhere in his apartment or in a box of stuff he took from Kate's apartment when they split.
The light, free feeling he had mere moments before suddenly tanked and was replaced with hot, seething anger coursing through his veins.
Kate grinned and raised a middle finger at him before disappearing into the crowded club. Derek wanted to throw up, to punch a hole in a wall, to scream until he was hoarse. The betrayal kept coming from her corner and he didn't know how he was ever so stupid to think she was good for him.
"You okay, Derek?" Scott asked from behind him.
Derek spun around on his heel, fists clenched and eyes flashing angrily.
"You want new songs? You're gonna get new fucking songs." Stiles blinked for a split second, then broke out into a wide grin.
"Fuck yeah, we will!"
***
"So how do you and Scott usually do this?" Derek asked the next day before practice. He arrived early so they could start writing together. He wasn't sure how it would go with Stiles because he never worked with anyone else, let alone someone like Stiles, but right now he'd try anything.
Stiles shrugged. "We've known each other for so long that one of us could just say a word or sentence or bring up a topic and then we just build on it."
Derek hummed but shook his head. "I don't know if I work well that way."
Stiles thought for a second. "There were a few lyrics I read in your notebook-again, sorry about that- but they stuck with me. You write like you're telling a story instead of trying to capture an emotion."
Derek hesitated but then asked, "Which one was it?"
Stiles closed his eyes as he slowly remembered it, "It might be better to have loved and lost, but I'm ready to find myself again. I think I'm hidden in the ruins you called a relationship.
Derek couldn't put his finger on how it felt to hear someone else say his words back to him but that Stiles remembered all this time was striking for him.
Stiles opened his eyes and waited for Derek to respond but Derek was staring at him, lost in his thoughts. "Well?"
Derek blinked. "Uh, yeah. I guess we could work off that and see what we come up with."
***
"In my head this song has a quick beat, loud and pounding and then the bridge is like climbing a peak, we fall off and then it builds up again from soft," Stiles explained while tapping out a rhythm with his drumsticks on the table. Derek thought about it, closed his eyes while trying to put the beat with his lyrics and thought he could hear what Stiles meant.
"Okay, but what if instead of a bridge we double up on the chorus with a tweak in it before the final verse and we can add the piano in here," Derek suggested, strumming a couple chords.
Stiles' face lit up. "Yes! I'm also hearing some of Kira in here on the violin but I think maybe we want to save that for 'You're the Worst'?"
Derek nodded and grinned.
Could have sworn he felt something physically click inside him when Stiles grinned back.
***
"No no no!" Derek yelled. "That's not the point of the song!"
"What are you talking about? The words are right there!" Stiles exclaimed, jabbing a finger at the papers scattered around them.
"It's a metaphor, Stiles!"
"A 'metaphor'," Stiles mocked back, using air quotes.
"It's supposed to have a double meaning, doofus!"
"Doofus?" Stiles laughed. "Are you 12?"
"Shut up, fuckface," Derek groaned, covering his face but he was smiling. His blood was pumping through his veins and his eyes were bright, his hands felt like they couldn't stay at his sides for the first time in ages. They'd only been writing together for a week but it felt almost natural now, something that amazed Derek.
"Everything okay in here? We heard yelling." Allison poked her head into the den with a concerned look on her face.
"We're great!" Stiles said, grin stretched across his face. "We're making some great progress here." He gestured to the piles of paper with scratches all over them and pieces of crumbled paper that they'd resorted to throwing at each other.
Allison looked dubious but she left them alone to keep writing.
***
"I hate this one," Stiles muttered a week later as he angrily crossed out another line. He was talking to himself and trying to keep a beat as he mouthed the words to the current song they were working on.
Derek could feel his frustration and it rubbed off on him, making it hard for him to concentrate and get a grasp on the words. Derek could feel what he wanted to say but couldn't make the words form sentences in the right order to make sense.
"Can you stop that for five minutes?" He asked tiredly over his shoulder.
Stiles let out a snarl of frustration and threw what amounted to a tantrum, beating on his snare drum erratically for a few seconds before throwing his sticks down.
"I don't be able to find the right beat if I can't work it out," Stiles said in an irritated tone as he slumped down on the couch beside Derek who didn't rise to the bait.
"This song isn't something I'm as comfortable writing," Derek said, more to himself but Stiles sat up anyway.
"Because you haven't gotten any in a while?" Stiles asked offhand. Derek bristled at that but still didn't reply.
"Come on, you've been in a mood all day. What's up?" Stiles asked, reaching out and shoving at Derek's shoulder.
"Don't," Derek replied testily. Stiles slid closer on the couch and started elbowing him lightly. Derek sighed and turned to look at Stiles who had a sly grin on his face. "Fuck off. We have to get this finished tonight so everyone can start it tomorrow."
"Mr. Grumpypants, tell me what's wrong," Stiles mewed as he pursed his lips in a pout. "Are you gonna be a sourpuss all afternoon?" Stiles moved his leg over Derek's, pushing the final button.
"Grow up," Derek snarled back and pushed Stiles' leg off him.
Derek stood up to get away from Stiles but Stiles was right behind him, face to face. Derek felt like rearing back and punching Stiles in his smug face but instead he reached out, grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him, hard.
Stiles flailed for a moment, but quickly wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and held on to the shirt hem while he pressed closer to Derek and opened his mouth easily. Derek wasted no time seeking out Stiles' tongue and exploring him. Stiles moaned and held Derek closer, started walking them backward until Derek hit the wall. He leaned back and spread his legs enough for Stiles to step between them. Stiles ran his hands up Derek's back to his hair and ran his fingers through Derek's thick dark hair while his cock started to thicken between his legs.
Derek felt Stiles' body and his own responded in kind. He became aware of how quickly things were moving and reluctantly pulled away. Stiles tried to chase his mouth but Derek shook his head. Stiles seemed to realize the same thing and stepped away, touching his mouth gently.
"Uhm," Stiles managed.
"Yeah," Derek replied.
Stiles ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get a glass of water and take a minute. Then we're going to come back and write that damn song."
He left and Derek let his head tip back against the wall. "Yeah, I think we can manage it now."
***
The next day the band practiced the song and Derek's cheeks flared red through it all.
Wisely no one commented on it.
***
"Hand me the eraser?" Stiles asked absently, holding his hand out to Derek who had it last. Derek passed it over and their fingers brushed innocently but Derek jerked his hand back like he'd been burned.
Stiles rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"
"Sorry," Derek muttered.
About a half hour later Stiles turned too quickly and almost ran straight into Derek's chest but Derek reached out and stopped him first, then quickly dropped his hands and averted his eyes. Stiles sighed and reached out to tip Derek's face up to look at him.
"Look... as much as I'd love to make out with you right here, right now on this couch and every other surface in this house-I get it. You don't have to be so jumpy, okay? I understand this can't happen," Stiles said, gesturing between them, even as the disappointment filled him like a shallow pool. He wouldn't push. He wouldn't put the band or their chance at winning the Battle at stake.
No matter how much the loudest parts of him were screaming to do just that.
***
Stiles knocked on Scott's door the week before the Battle.
"Come in," Scott called out and Stiles let himself in, collapsing on Scott's bed on his stomach t watch his best friend do some school work on his computer.
Stiles didn't say anything until Scott looked up, brow furrowed. "What's up?"
"If we don't win this Alpha is done, right?" Stiles asked bluntly. Scott blinked and closed his laptop, then rolled back from his desk.
"Why are you asking?"
Stiles looked pointedly at the laptop and Scott's books. "I can read the writing on the wall. I don't know if everyone's hearts have been in it for a while."
"Yours has," Scott pointed out.
"Yeah, I've been in this for as long as I can remember and I will be for as far I can see ahead. I'm not mad or anything, I've had time to think about it."
"Yeah?" Scott asked. "What did you come up with?"
Stiles sighed. "I'm not sure, actually. You know how easy we work together? How much fun it is to write together and because we've known each other for so long it's like we share a brain?" Scott nodded with a small smile. "It's not like that with Derek. But there's... there's something there. It's so different than when I write with you because that's easy."
"Writing with Derek isn't easy?" Scott asked, seeming confused.
"It's not easy but it's not difficult, either. It's so different. When he puts words together it's like blowing my mind apart and putting it back together. It's not fun like when you and I write together. It's exciting."
"Gee, thanks," Scott said sarcastically but with a laugh. "Could that have anything to do with how you feel about Derek?"
Stiles blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Stiles, no one around here is blind. Even Lydia, who only met him for a few hours at the show a couple weeks ago, called you two happening. There's an energy between you two that works well."
"That's what I think too," Stiles admitted. "But for now we're not doing anything about it because the Battle is important to both of us. And there's where I get scared."
"Scared?"
Stiles sat up on Scott's bed and took a deep breath, feeling like he was hollow and could break from the inside out by saying the words out loud. "I've never felt this kind of creativity before, you know? When Derek and I write together I sometimes get chills from how amazing the flow is. The words... they just work, like us. But if we don't win this and the band ends that's it. Derek's done, he's gone. But I feel like the words are gone, too. Like I'll never get them back."
Scott sat with Stiles in silence for a few minutes before replying. "I get it, I do. When Allison and I got together and we connected there were moments we would have that took my breath away because it felt like she got me. In ways you couldn't because even though, like you said, we share a brain, it's almost as if the new things aren't as big to us anymore. But with someone else the new things are freaking amazing. Does that make sense?"
Stiles nodded slowly. "I think so." Stiles tugged at some frayed strings at the bottom of his pants. "I really like him and I think we could be amazing together. But if we never write together again after this Battle I don't know if I can take that. I don't know if I'll know what to do without him in my life."
"Stiles," Scott started gently, reaching out to pat his best friend on the shoulder. "He still lives in town and you have his cell phone number. The last thing I could ever see you doing is giving up on someone like that so easily. You're probably the most annoyingly persistent person I've ever met ever."
Stiles laughed, a loud relieved sound and collapsed back on the bed. Scott scrambled on top of him and hugged him tightly, like they used to when they were kids.
Stiles hugged Scott back. "Goddamn I'm glad you're my best friend, Scotty."
"Same, buddy."
***
"They were really good," Allison said, standing in the wings watching one of the bands before them finish their set.
Everyone nodded in agreement. Stiles felt his stomach clench because he heard how well Starkbeat and the Starlings did, how loudly the audience cheered for them. He wished he could be in a soundproof booth until they had to go on but there were still two other bands before them. The Hunters would go on last and Stiles would bet the whole contest that she got some lowly lackey to change the schedule that way for her.
Derek was quiet, standing off to the side and staring at nothing. Stiles wanted to go over to him, to offer something in the way of understanding or support or say something that could snap him out of his fugue but Stiles wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind, either.
"Oh shit," Scott muttered under his breath and Stiles turned to see what he was looking at.
Kate was walking over to them, in leather pants and with perfect fuck-me hair, a cherry red color staining her lip like she just drank the blood of a virgin.
"Probably did," Stiles mumbled to himself.
"From one band to another I just wanted to come over and say that The Hunters wishes you luck tonight," Kate said in a sickly sweet tone but with a sarcastic smirk.
"Thanks Kate," Allison spoke up for everyone with a smile, always trying to be the bigger person in any situation. Good on her, Stiles thought. "Good luck to you, too."
"Thanks Ally, but we don't need it. And when we win I want you to know I can find a place for you in my band, don't worry," Kate replied and Stiles felt his hackles rise. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Derek stiffen, as well, and Scott visibly bristle at Kate's words.
"I'm fine where I am, thanks," Allison replied, smile gone and tone hard.
Kate shrugged and turned to Derek. Stiles had unconsciously moved to block him somewhat, standing between them.
"Derek, I know after tonight this will be your second band ripped out from under you. I'd be happy to pay for you to write for The Hunters when this is over. You know, once the songs I already have run out," Kate said, grinning widely.
Stiles stepped up to her, finished with her rubbing it in whenever she could that she thought she was better than them.
"And what does the rent-a-cop have to say? Aren't you clinging to this dream because you'll never be able to step into daddy's big shoes?" Kate taunted Stiles.
And suddenly Stiles didn't care anymore. The Battle would happen and they'd perform and if they didn't win that was fine. He was done fighting for something that had its moment. If they won that was another thing but he was at peace.
"Know what, Kate?" Stiles started. He saw Scott start toward them, as if to break them up but Stiles held up a hand to stop him. "Every one of us is here because we love this band and each other. I don't think you've ever been able to say that genuinely about anything in your life."
"She hasn't," Derek piped up, surprising everyone, especially Kate from the venomous look she gave him. He stepped up beside Stiles. "If we win that's great. If we don't that's okay, too. All I really want now is to beat you. Not your band or any other band here tonight. You. I'm okay with losing, Kate. But I promise that we'll beat you and I'll be happy enough to see you realize you're no better than me and even more so when everyone else does, too."
"Genuinely, Kate. Good luck," Stiles said with a wide grin as he slung his arm around Derek's shoulders casually. Kate flipped her hair over her shoulder and stormed off muttering something about losers under her breath.
Stiles stepped back from Derek but punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Feel better?"
"Kind of. I don't think she'll ever change but I meant what I said. I want to beat her, even if we come in second last. As long as she doesn't win and we get to see the egg on her face I'm happy."
"Sounds good to me," Scott said as Allison and Kira nodded in agreement.
"Alpha, ten minutes to set up!" someone yelled from behind them.
"Ready?" Scott asked, focusing on Stiles.
Stiles nodded. "Ready."
***
Even though the new songs were upbeat and totally in line with Alpha's regular sound Derek couldn't help but feel the resignation in their beats. He had the feeling like this was the band's way of saying goodbye to themselves.
Derek played angled so he could watch Stiles who was practically vibrating with energy as he led the songs with his rolling beats and thumping rhythms. By the end of their four-song set he was drenched in sweat. When they got off stage it didn't stop Stiles from hugging Derek tightly, rubbing his cheek against Derek's stubble and making him laugh.
"Thanks," Stiles said quietly without the rest of the band hearing as he pulled away.
"For what?" Derek asked and Stiles shrugged.
"You made this whole thing a lot easier. I know it was hard for you too, in your own way, but you being here and doing everything you did helped me see it's not all bad."
"We could still win," Derek blurted out. Now he was the one who didn't want this to end. The idea of not hanging out with Stiles anymore, or any of the band really, was suddenly very, very possible and real to him. His sister would be so proud of him.
"Yeah," Stiles replied, but his tone was tinged with sadness. "We could."
Before they went back to the stage to do a quick equipment change Derek grabbed Stiles' hand and squeezed it tightly. Stiles laced their fingers together for a brief moment, then was gone. They packed up their instruments to make way for the next band and then waited.
***
"Votes have been tallied and we have the results!" The announcer held up an envelope over her head and the crowd screamed.
"I'll read off the top five bands. The three bands with the most points will win prizes ranging from $5000 to an exclusive record contract with Sonic Sound! The other two finalist bands will have an automatic entry into next year's Battle contest!
"Here we go! In fifth place... Ladybird!" The crowd cheered and clapped, a few disappointed noises coming from the far corners but the band graciously waved from neat the front of the stage.
"In fourth place... Alpha!" Derek felt like his heart was in his throat. He could see the pride Scott, Stiles, Allison and Kira had, and he felt pretty damn good himself, but their challenge to Kate still stood.
They waved and Scott and Stiles hugged. Derek could see Scott say something into Stiles' ear that made him nod and smile at his best friend before glancing back at Derek quickly. Derek game him a small smile and Stiles nodded back. Derek didn't know what that meant.
"In third place and the winner of $5000 is the Alex Nygard Experience!" Derek hunched in on himself, fingers crossed in his pockets.
"Second place goes to Starkbeat and the Starlings! Which means our first place band who wins the record contract is The Yellow Jackets!" The announcer revealed, pumping her fist as any other sound was drowned out by the overwhelming reaction.
Stiles stood up in his chair with both fists in the air and screamed his approval with the rest of the band joining in. Derek clapped and whistled until his hands hurt and he couldn't purse his lips any longer.
They didn't win, as expected. But they beat The Hunters.
Now what?
***
The doorbell jolted Stiles out of his thoughts and he realized he'd been staring at the same paragraph in his study guide for the Sheriff's department test for at least five minutes. He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Scott, can you get that?" Stiles yelled.
Silence.
"Scott?"
The doorbell rang again, twice.
Stiles swore and pushed away from his desk in his room. He checked Scott's room on his way to the door but it was empty. Stiles suddenly remembered Scott mentioning that he was planning a day of fun romance with Allison and Stiles sighed again.
"Right," he muttered to himself as he trudged to the front door.
He didn't bother checking to see who it was before swinging it open with a less than impressed expression to greet the visitor. Maybe he should have.
"Stiles."
"Derek."
"Hi."
"What's up?" Stiles asked, leaning against the door frame and trying desperately for nonchalantness but he was sure it was coming off more awkward.
Derek was here at the house for the first time in two weeks. Stiles picked up his phone probably ten times a day to try to compose a text to Derek that didn't sound desperate and sad. He didn't realize how much he would miss Derek, even in his grumpy, snarky moments. Just having him in the house made Stiles feel better and after two weeks of his routine being totally messed up on top of no Derek he was feeling lost.
Seeing Derek with his perfect scruff and well-worn blue jeans, standing in his doorway like nothing was different felt like hope and dread and fear all at once.
Derek shifted and looked around, over his shoulder and seemed generally uncomfortable. Finally he shrugged. "Can I come in? I have something I need to talk to you about."
Stiles wanted to say no, it was his first instinct but one borne of the need to protect himself from getting hurt. But he stepped back and let Derek in the house, closing the door quietly behind him.
Derek went straight to the living room and sat down on the ratty couch and fiddled with the cuffs on his leather jacket.
Stiles sat on the arm of the chair a few feet away and waited. Derek seemed to be working up to something and Stiles had to admit he was curious, if wary.
"After the Battle I got a call from an old friend of mine, someone who works at a label in L.A.," Derek started after about a minute of silence.
Stiles didn't say anything but he crossed his arms as if to hold in his thoughts that were trying to explode out a million different ways.
"Laura shared the video of us performing from the official Battle promotors and my friend caught it, passed it on to someone higher up. My buddy's label wants to set up a meeting or web chat or something with us" Derek explained.
Stiles felt frozen. He stared at Derek with wide eyes, unable to believe what he was saying even though he really, really wanted to.
"Stiles?" Derek asked, then snapped his fingers in front of Stiles a couple times. Stiles blinked, then glared at Derek.
"You know Alpha's done now," Stiles replied, feeling like he'd just taken a knife to the heart.
"Doesn't have to be. You could get in touch with everyone and see if they still want this shot. Or..."
"Or?" Stiles asked, curiosity getting the best of him.
"We could start our own band," Derek suggested. "You're the drummer, I'm the guitarist and singer."
Stiles blinked and was quiet, unsure if he could believe that this was really coming out of Derek's mouth. "Are you serious?"
"Stiles, we work well together. Really well," Derek said slowly. He paused and looked down at his hands before continuing. "And I miss you. I don't know how it happened because it shocked the shit out of me when I realized it, but I really fucking miss you."
Stiles grinned despite himself. "I miss you, too, grumpypants." Derek grinned back, then seemed to swallow hard.
"And this might be the biggest mistake I'll ever make but I think it'll be a bigger one if I don't say this before you answer. I want to take you on a date, a real one. I want to see if something could work between us off the stage."
Stiles sucked in a long breath. "Are you sure? After everything?"
Derek shook his head. "No, I'm not. I know you're not Kate, sure. But I also know that there are absolutely no guarantees for what's going to happen to me. If we end up getting signed and working together all the time I think it would kill me to be so close to you all the time and not have you in my life in every way."
Stiles sized him up for a second. "You've already written a song about this, haven't you."
Derek burst out laughing, long and loud, and it made Stiles' heart clench. He made Derek sound like that. How could he possibly say no to someone who sounded like that when he laughed?
"And if getting signed doesn't work out?" Stiles asked.
Derek shrugged. "You want to keep performing and making music even if there isn't an album and we're in Beacon Hills for the next ten years?"
Stiles didn't even have to think about it. "Yes."
"I do, too."
Stiles got out of his chair and sat beside Derek on the couch. Derek tentatively reached out and covered Stiles' hand before Stiles laced their fingers together.
"Just promise me we don't turn into one of those twee indie bands and I have to wear a cutesy polka dot dress while birds fly around our heads on the album cover."
Derek leaned over and kissed Stiles slowly, before whispering against his lips, "I'll wear the dress."
Stiles nodded and pulled Derek back with him against the cushions. They needed to make new material for the album.
PG-13, 16,300-ish words
Human!AU, Band!Au
Read on AO3 here
Written for sterek_big_bang, soundtrack by Val Brown.
Derek Hale’s breakup from his band, The Hunters, was legendary. Even more so his breakup with lead singer, Kate Argent. Derek’s an amazing bass player-with a crappy attitude to match-but when the Scott McCall-fronted band Alpha gets a video audition from him to be their new bassist they can’t refuse. Even if drummer Stiles Stilinski has doubts about how well they’ll play together they can’t turn down the opportunity of a lifetime that could finally help them win the Battle of Beacon Hills and a shot at a recording contract. But that doesn’t mean he has to like the idea, or Derek Hale himself, even if he’s harbored a crush on the man since the first time he saw him step on stage. It’s just business! A shot at fame and nothing more. ... Probably.
Derek became, somehow, even more withdrawn during practice. He avoided Stiles like the plague but could feel the guy's eyes boring into him all the time. Allison, Kira and Scott were all still nice to him but Stiles' expression hovered between disdain and glaring any time their eyes met.
Walking in on Stiles flipping through his notebook sent a wave of fear and insecurity through him. He reacted the only way he knew how and that was to lash out. Stiles did, too, and Derek had no one to blame but himself.
He couldn't help the betrayal that he felt creeping back up in him from the debacle with Kate at the thought of writing for Alpha and them dumping him like a sack of potatoes. Was he worth more than that? He wasn't sure anymore and he didn't want to test it out now. He did enjoy this small group and their camaraderie; he wished he could work himself into it comfortably. He wished he could allow himself to say yes when they invited him for meals or to watch a movie or just to hand out.
He wanted all of it. But he had that once with Kate and The Hunters and they stabbed him in the back. He couldn't go through that again.
Laura was starting to notice that he wasn't getting "better" as she called it. She monitored the Alpha Facebook page and saw the pictures they posted, the fun times they documented, and how Derek wasn't in a single one of them since they announced him as their new bassist with such enthusiasm and excitement.
"Are they purposely leaving you out?" Laura asked one night, a few days after Stiles looked through his notebook.
"No," Derek replied.
"So they're intentionally inviting you to have fun with them and hang out and you're shutting yourself in your depressing apartment instead to wallow in whatever the hell is happening in your head?" Laura asked.
Derek didn't reply until Laura poked him in the arm with a sharp fingernail. He shuffled away on the sofa and bit out, "Looks like, doesn't it? I must want to be alone, then."
Laura eyed him for a long minute before pushing up off the couch. She kissed Derek on the top of his head and stroked his hair just the way she knew he liked.
"I know this is just your fear talking but you're letting it win. And if you keep up with this asshole behavior you've got going on you're not going to keep getting those invitations. These people are not Kate. You have to get that through your head before it's too late. I'll always be here for you but they don't know you like I do. Think about that before you go grumpy Derek on them, okay?"
Derek didn't reply and stayed still until he heard his apartment door close behind her. She was right. He wasn't in a place to admit that to her but he did to himself and that would be the first step. Had to be.
Laura was right and Derek needed to do something about that.
***
The next day he showed up to the house and let himself in without knocking. Weeks ago Scott assured him that he didn't need to wait to be let in, that he was part of the band and their group now.
"Mi casa es su casa!" Scott declared happily in a way that made Derek yearn for such trust and belief in people again.
Derek walked into the house and noticed that it was incredibly quiet, more so than he'd ever heard before. He could hear some sounds coming from the kitchen so he worked his way to the back of the first floor.
Derek dropped his guitar by the door and stood awkwardly, watching Stiles as he moved around the kitchen with familiarity.
"You coming in?" Stiles finally asked a minute later, words tossed easily over his shoulder.
"Where's everyone else?" Derek asked as he took exactly two steps forward.
"They'll be along. Picking up some last minute ingredients. Or, in Scott's case, probably buying something pre-made from the deli section of the store," Stiles said with a laugh. Derek frowned.
"Did I miss something? I thought we were going to practice," Derek said.
Stiles looked up with a smile. "A little later but Scott wanted us to have a kind of family supper before that."
Derek shook his head, cheeks flushing against his will. "No one told me. I ... I didn't know I should bring something. I should go." He turned to grab his guitar but Stiles was across the room and grabbing his shoulder before he knew it.
"No, hey. Don't go. We didn't tell you because we were sure you wouldn't show up if you knew. Scott likes to make sure we take time to relax and hang out without hanging out feeling like work. Y'know?"
Derek turned back. "Not really."
Now it was Stiles' turn to frown. "Jesus, Derek. You're in a band, not a chain gang. This is supposed to be fun."
Derek just nodded. Stiles quirked his head and gave him an inquiring look for a second, like he was sizing Derek up, but only for a moment. Then it was gone and he was retreating back to the kitchen.
Derek shoved his hands in his pockets, awkward feeling back. He watched Stiles work, stirring things in pots and poking something in the oven with a fork. Finally he sighed.
"Can I help?"
Stiles opened his mouth to reply and Derek could see that he was going to say no. Then he assessed the counters and nodded. "Yes. Yes, you can. Grate the cheese?" He nodded to a block of mozza sitting on the counter with the grater already waiting. Without comment Derek stepped up and started working on his task.
He wasn't sure how much they needed so he grated half the block and then nudged Stiles to check. He shrugged so Derek kept going and did the whole thing.
They worked quickly and efficiently, using very few words and hand gestures. Stiles was making some sort of casserole with chicken and some pasta, broccoli and lots of garlic. Derek wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but he was sure it was going to be good.
"We work well together," Stiles said lightly as he was getting ready to put the dish in the oven.
"I suppose," Derek replied and wanted to kick himself for the throwaway response but he didn't know what else to say.
It seemed to be the wrong thing to say because Stiles shoved the casserole in the oven and closed the door harder than necessary. He gave Derek a stony look and then disappeared out the back door to the yard where Derek had never been.
Derek waited about five minutes before following Stiles. He found him slumped in an old lawn chair in the back yard, picking at the threads from a hole in the knee of his jeans.
Derek sat down beside him on the grass and waited. Didn't take long.
"This is our only shot at this thing," Stiles said, voice more tired than angry.
"What do you mean?" Derek asked, looking up at Stiles, squinting into the sun.
"Scott hasn't come right out and said so but once the Battle is over if we don't win I think Alpha is done, at least done trying for... whatever comes. That'll be it if it's over. We'll play for fun, I guess, but it's coming to the point of do or die for us. I did a couple semesters in college while trying to be in the band but it didn't work out well for me. My dad really wants me to take the entrance exam to the police academy, sooner rather than later. Scott's got his heart set on working with Dr. Deaton at the vet clinic and it's a good thing for him.
"I think he wants to settle down with Allison. Get their own place and do the official couple thing. She and Kira have family businesses they can fall back on and Lydia deals with head hunters every damn day because she already graduated from college and is taking grad school courses 'in her free time'," Stiles said with air quotes and a mirthless laugh. "I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't want to give this up but everyone else has checked out."
"Music isn't easy," Derek said lightly but Stiles still shot him a dirty look.
"No shit, Sherlock. At first it was just fun to hang out and make music, you know? I loved sitting with Scott for hours and coming up with songs and having the girls get just as excited. Even Jackson, the guy you replaced, was on board with everything. I think things started to change when he left. It's like he saw the writing on the wall and shouted it to the rest of the band and now it's all they can see. Alpha's not going to make it," Stiles said glumly.
Derek was quiet for a moment, figuring out what he wanted to say. He wasn't the best at talking but if he wanted to try to make an in with this group this was the first step.
"I didn't want to be in another band at all before my sister submitted my videos," he started. Stiles gave him a look that seemed like it was going to launch into a 'fuck you' tirade so he continued. "When she told me about it I felt like she fucked me over just because she didn't like what I was doing with my life. But she was right, I wasn't doing anything with my life. For months, in fact. I stayed in my apartment and thought about how badly I'd been burned. She forced me to check out Alpha's Facebook and when I finally got over being a big baby about it I realized you guys are good.
"It's not just about putting a bunch of instruments together and making music. You don't 'make' music unless you feel it and you have a connection with your bandmates. That's what I saw with you guys."
"So why have you acted so much like you've got a giant stick up your ass?" Stiles asked bluntly.
Derek paused, then laughed. It came out of him, unbidden, and was loud and echoed in the small backyard. Stiles stared at him like he suddenly revealed he was an alien and it made Derek laugh even harder.
When he finally got himself under control and he was left with a few chuckles Stiles was grinning widely at him. "That's all it takes, huh?"
Derek nodded and coughed a little. "Guess so."
They sat together watching the birds and listening to the leaves rustle for a few minutes before Derek felt comfortable enough to speak again.
"It's nothing against you or anyone else in the band," Derek said softly. Stiles leaned in to give his full attention. "After what happened with The Hunters I got lost. You guys are..."
"A bit much?" Stiles supplied.
"What I've always thought a band should be," Derek said instead. Stiles blinked in surprise. "Being with Kate made me think I was in a great group and had the world ready for the taking. I wrote with her, or so I thought, but it was for her. But she acted like a dictator. Did you know we went through three drummers in four years?"
"Harsh," Stiles replied. Derek nodded.
"She had me wrapped around her little finger and I had no idea until she dumped me like garbage. Figured she had everything she could get out of me and shit all over everything I thought we were. As a couple, as a band, and myself as a person. How does that even happen?" Derek questioned but Stiles didn't have an answer.
"Sorry, dude. I wish there was something better I could say."
Derek shook his head and gave him a small smile. "I don't think there's anything anyone could say. But it's the first time I've said it out loud."
Stiles raised an eyebrow. "It's also the most I've heard you say in the past three weeks collectively."
Derek snorted but he felt like there was a breakthrough between them now. Like he got where Stiles was coming from and finally someone knew where Derek was coming from.
It was a start.
***
Instead of practicing after supper Scott wanted the band to go to Jungle to check out one of the other Battle bands that they'd be going up against. Stiles immediately looked across the table to Derek as if he expected him to make an excuse to escape but he nodded and agreed it would be nice to have a night off.
Everyone else at the table had a look of surprise but Scott quickly grinned and appeared pleased. Derek felt he made the right choice this time.
Walking into Jungle was an odd experience. Derek hadn't been in well over a year, probably since the last time The Hunters played there. It felt weird to be back but he was feeling at ease being with the band since his talk with Stiles.
Scott and Allison went to grab drinks for everyone while Stiles, Derek and Kira tried to find a table. They tried to find a table as close to the stage as possible and managed to grab a spot to the left and out of the way of the dance floor. While the band set up a DJ played club music with such deep bass that Derek could feel it in his bones.
"Cheap draft for everyone!" Scott crowed when he and Allison worked their way across the dance floor to the table. Derek gamely clinked glasses with everyone and settled back in the booth to take in the conversation.
Stiles sat across from him so Derek was able to watch him talk animatedly, using his hands for big gestures to get his point across. His cheeks reddened quickly from the beer and he laughed loudly and easily. Derek felt a little jealous at how freely Stiles carried himself, at how easy it was for him to draw attention without even noticing he was doing it.
Beside him Kira tapped him on the arm and he turned to her, ducking his head a bit to be able to hear her over the loud music.
"Doing okay?" she asked with a knowing expression.
Derek nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."
"I'm not a bar person, either, but it's fun with these guys," Kira said, nodding at the rest of the table.
"I'm starting to get that," Derek said and offered her a small smile. She grinned back and Derek couldn't help but smile wider at her.
Across the table Stiles suddenly stood up on the seat and started waving at someone wildly. Scott automatically reached out and wrapped an arm around Stiles' leg to keep him from losing his balance while Allison slid out of the booth so Stiles could scramble out.
Derek watched him bound across the dance floor and wrap his arms around a redhead in the middle of a large group of people. She gamely hugged him back and let him tug her back to their table. Derek got the impression that this was a common occurrence but it didn't stop him from wondering who she was and feeling jealous that she got such an enthusiastic greeting from Stiles.
"Lydia!" Scott cheered and Derek calmed somewhat, although he was acutely aware that Stiles was still holding Lydia's hand.
"Hello all," Lydia greeted them, nodding at everyone in turn. When she got to Derek her eyes narrowed as she gracefully shrugged off her coat. "So you're the new bassist."
"Derek," he said, offering her his hand. She accepted it and firmly shook his hand while staring him straight in the eye.
"I hear you're doing well and fitting in," she said in a way that didn't feel like a conversational comment, but more one to size him up.
"I think I am," Derek replied cautiously. Lydia seemed like she wanted to ask more but Stiles interrupted her.
"Who wants a second round before the band starts?" he asked, holding up the empty pitcher. Lydia slid into his empty spot in the booth beside Scott.
"Better make it two, looks like it's getting busier," Allison said, nodding to the crowd gathering at the bar.
"Glass of red for me, please," Lydia replied before she turned back to Derek.
"I'll come with you," he said, sliding out of his seat and following after Stiles. Lydia smirked at him with a knowing look and shook her head slightly at him as he went.
"That's the band manager?" Derek asked, leaning in closer to Stiles' ear so he could hear easier.
Stiles seemed to jump a little but nodded. "She's not around much because of school but she's amazing. How she does everything she does for us in the few hours a week she can spare is more than we could do put together. She's swung us free advertising for gigs, looked into getting us on some national tours, keeps us up to date with what our upcoming schedule looks like for gigs-stuff like that. She doesn't have to worry about anything if the band folds, though. I'm sure with those hours back she could cure cancer or something," Stiles joked.
"You like her?" Derek asked, aiming for a casual tone. They reached the bar and managed to work their way to the counter. Stiles turned toward Derek but he stayed facing forward, not wanting to look directly at Stiles.
Stiles shrugged. "Used to. Like her like that, I mean. We're best friends now but middle and high school were rough, holding out for her like I did. Didn't matter who else came up, no one could hold a candle to my crush on Lydia Martin."
"What changed?" Derek asked.
Stiles laughed. "She told me I didn't stand a chance, for one, and Theo Raeken. Transfer student in senior year. He was a total dick, it turned out, but for a couple weeks in October I realized pretty damn quick that Lydia wasn't the only person I had eyes for."
"What happened to Theo?" Derek wasn't sure he wanted to know but he was curious.
"Dunno. He was kind of weird anyway. I little too intense for me, anyway," Stiles finished. He managed to get the bartender's attention and pointed to the pitchers and a wine bottle. While they waited for the pitchers to be filled he turned back to Derek. "I feel like this is where I ask you if you have any stories of the one that got away but I think I know more already than you want me to."
It was Derek's turn to shrug. "It is what it is."
"Must make for some great songwriting material," Stiles said lightly. Derek just gave him a look and fished his wallet out and threw some bills down when the bartender brought their pitchers and glass of wine back.
"I got this one," Derek said.
"Thanks man," Stiles said and clapped Derek on the back before grabbing one of the pitchers and Lydia's wine.
Derek grabbed the other pitcher and went to follow Stiles but a hand on his back stopped him.
"Derek," a familiar voice purred in his ear. Derek barely repressed a shudder, either from the feeling of breath across his neck or because he knew that voice and it was recurring in his nightmares.
"Kate," he replied tightly, pulling away from her and putting some distance between them.
She looked gorgeous, of course. Her hair had its usual tousle that he used to think of as "just fucked", mainly because it was, by him. She was wearing skin tight leather pants, a thread-bare t-shirt and a leather jacket. What he used to see as edgy and rockstar he now saw as sad and desperate.
No matter how hot she was.
"What are you doing here? Bartending, maybe?" Kate asked, perfectly lined and glossed lips curved in a condescending smirk. She looked down at the pitcher in his hand that he wanted so badly to pour over her head.
"Not exactly," Derek replied, trying to stay calm. He hated this. Hated her for doing this to him. He was a grown adult, how did this woman still have such control over him? How could she make him feel as big as an ant, surrendering to the boot about to squash it?
Kate raised an eyebrow and he could see her start to figure things out. "You're kidding me. You've joined another band? What pathetic group of losers did you worm your way into?"
Derek's cheeks flamed read and he opened his mouth to bite back but a warm arm curved around his waist and Stiles came into view at his side. He must have gone around them and come up behind Derek so she wouldn't see him.
"Always good to see you, Kate. How's tricks?" Stiles asked with a grin as he pressed up against Derek's side with incredible familiarity much to Derek's surprise.
"Haven't learned that Trix are for kids yet, Stiles?" Kate mocked.
Stiles laughed. "The kind of tricks you know aren't appropriate for kids, Kate. Haven't you learned that yet?" he threw back.
Kate's face darkened and she pursed her lips. "At least my band has a pending record contract."
Derek felt his heart sink but Stiles laughed. "Kate, isn't that your positive affirmation every day? Because every band has a pending record contract, according to the most desperate member of it. And from what I hear, you're pretty damn desperate right now."
Derek didn't know what was going on but whatever Stiles said must have struck a nerve because Kate lost all semblance of cool and stepped forward, as if to get into Stiles' face. Derek took a step as well and this seemed to make her more angry, her face getting red as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Fuck your shitty band," she hissed before doing an about face and stalking off.
Derek waited until she was gone before turning to Stiles. "What the hell was that?"
Stiles let him go easily and reached out to take back the pitcher and glass of wine from the counter behind them. "I have a couple friends in other bands who are close to people in her band. They're all laughing behind her back. Her 'pending record contract'? Is from the Battle of Beacon Hills. Don't know how much you want to know-"
"All of it," Derek said grimly.
"I guess she's got an ear of one of the judges and thinks she's going to be able to swing his vote for them. She's freaking because she doesn't think the songs she has now are as strong as when you were in the band. Everyone's already heard them all and she wants new stuff. But I guess the guy who took your place isn't a writer or that great a bassist and the only thing he's good at is, well. Personal between them."
"Is that your way of trying to say that she's fucking the new bassist?" Derek asked and Stiles nodded. Derek shrugged. "Figured."
"Sorry, man," Stiles said.
"For what? Seeing her for the first time since we broke up wasn't as bad as I built it up in my head and watching you make her head explode was actually pretty cathartic. I knew she wouldn't be alone long when she dumped me and I had a hunch she was cheating on me. But knowing that she's losing her mind over not having control over her band and the songs right now? Probably the best thing I could have heard ever," Derek explained, feeling lighter with every word. He realized everything he said was the truth and he didn't have to push it down and hide from it.
From across the room Derek caught sight of Kate who was staring straight at him. He looked away but out of the corner of his eye he saw her lift something in the air. He glanced back and felt his breath catch.
She was holding up one of his old notebooks. One that he thought was somewhere in his apartment or in a box of stuff he took from Kate's apartment when they split.
The light, free feeling he had mere moments before suddenly tanked and was replaced with hot, seething anger coursing through his veins.
Kate grinned and raised a middle finger at him before disappearing into the crowded club. Derek wanted to throw up, to punch a hole in a wall, to scream until he was hoarse. The betrayal kept coming from her corner and he didn't know how he was ever so stupid to think she was good for him.
"You okay, Derek?" Scott asked from behind him.
Derek spun around on his heel, fists clenched and eyes flashing angrily.
"You want new songs? You're gonna get new fucking songs." Stiles blinked for a split second, then broke out into a wide grin.
"Fuck yeah, we will!"
***
"So how do you and Scott usually do this?" Derek asked the next day before practice. He arrived early so they could start writing together. He wasn't sure how it would go with Stiles because he never worked with anyone else, let alone someone like Stiles, but right now he'd try anything.
Stiles shrugged. "We've known each other for so long that one of us could just say a word or sentence or bring up a topic and then we just build on it."
Derek hummed but shook his head. "I don't know if I work well that way."
Stiles thought for a second. "There were a few lyrics I read in your notebook-again, sorry about that- but they stuck with me. You write like you're telling a story instead of trying to capture an emotion."
Derek hesitated but then asked, "Which one was it?"
Stiles closed his eyes as he slowly remembered it, "It might be better to have loved and lost, but I'm ready to find myself again. I think I'm hidden in the ruins you called a relationship.
Derek couldn't put his finger on how it felt to hear someone else say his words back to him but that Stiles remembered all this time was striking for him.
Stiles opened his eyes and waited for Derek to respond but Derek was staring at him, lost in his thoughts. "Well?"
Derek blinked. "Uh, yeah. I guess we could work off that and see what we come up with."
***
"In my head this song has a quick beat, loud and pounding and then the bridge is like climbing a peak, we fall off and then it builds up again from soft," Stiles explained while tapping out a rhythm with his drumsticks on the table. Derek thought about it, closed his eyes while trying to put the beat with his lyrics and thought he could hear what Stiles meant.
"Okay, but what if instead of a bridge we double up on the chorus with a tweak in it before the final verse and we can add the piano in here," Derek suggested, strumming a couple chords.
Stiles' face lit up. "Yes! I'm also hearing some of Kira in here on the violin but I think maybe we want to save that for 'You're the Worst'?"
Derek nodded and grinned.
Could have sworn he felt something physically click inside him when Stiles grinned back.
***
"No no no!" Derek yelled. "That's not the point of the song!"
"What are you talking about? The words are right there!" Stiles exclaimed, jabbing a finger at the papers scattered around them.
"It's a metaphor, Stiles!"
"A 'metaphor'," Stiles mocked back, using air quotes.
"It's supposed to have a double meaning, doofus!"
"Doofus?" Stiles laughed. "Are you 12?"
"Shut up, fuckface," Derek groaned, covering his face but he was smiling. His blood was pumping through his veins and his eyes were bright, his hands felt like they couldn't stay at his sides for the first time in ages. They'd only been writing together for a week but it felt almost natural now, something that amazed Derek.
"Everything okay in here? We heard yelling." Allison poked her head into the den with a concerned look on her face.
"We're great!" Stiles said, grin stretched across his face. "We're making some great progress here." He gestured to the piles of paper with scratches all over them and pieces of crumbled paper that they'd resorted to throwing at each other.
Allison looked dubious but she left them alone to keep writing.
***
"I hate this one," Stiles muttered a week later as he angrily crossed out another line. He was talking to himself and trying to keep a beat as he mouthed the words to the current song they were working on.
Derek could feel his frustration and it rubbed off on him, making it hard for him to concentrate and get a grasp on the words. Derek could feel what he wanted to say but couldn't make the words form sentences in the right order to make sense.
"Can you stop that for five minutes?" He asked tiredly over his shoulder.
Stiles let out a snarl of frustration and threw what amounted to a tantrum, beating on his snare drum erratically for a few seconds before throwing his sticks down.
"I don't be able to find the right beat if I can't work it out," Stiles said in an irritated tone as he slumped down on the couch beside Derek who didn't rise to the bait.
"This song isn't something I'm as comfortable writing," Derek said, more to himself but Stiles sat up anyway.
"Because you haven't gotten any in a while?" Stiles asked offhand. Derek bristled at that but still didn't reply.
"Come on, you've been in a mood all day. What's up?" Stiles asked, reaching out and shoving at Derek's shoulder.
"Don't," Derek replied testily. Stiles slid closer on the couch and started elbowing him lightly. Derek sighed and turned to look at Stiles who had a sly grin on his face. "Fuck off. We have to get this finished tonight so everyone can start it tomorrow."
"Mr. Grumpypants, tell me what's wrong," Stiles mewed as he pursed his lips in a pout. "Are you gonna be a sourpuss all afternoon?" Stiles moved his leg over Derek's, pushing the final button.
"Grow up," Derek snarled back and pushed Stiles' leg off him.
Derek stood up to get away from Stiles but Stiles was right behind him, face to face. Derek felt like rearing back and punching Stiles in his smug face but instead he reached out, grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him, hard.
Stiles flailed for a moment, but quickly wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and held on to the shirt hem while he pressed closer to Derek and opened his mouth easily. Derek wasted no time seeking out Stiles' tongue and exploring him. Stiles moaned and held Derek closer, started walking them backward until Derek hit the wall. He leaned back and spread his legs enough for Stiles to step between them. Stiles ran his hands up Derek's back to his hair and ran his fingers through Derek's thick dark hair while his cock started to thicken between his legs.
Derek felt Stiles' body and his own responded in kind. He became aware of how quickly things were moving and reluctantly pulled away. Stiles tried to chase his mouth but Derek shook his head. Stiles seemed to realize the same thing and stepped away, touching his mouth gently.
"Uhm," Stiles managed.
"Yeah," Derek replied.
Stiles ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get a glass of water and take a minute. Then we're going to come back and write that damn song."
He left and Derek let his head tip back against the wall. "Yeah, I think we can manage it now."
***
The next day the band practiced the song and Derek's cheeks flared red through it all.
Wisely no one commented on it.
***
"Hand me the eraser?" Stiles asked absently, holding his hand out to Derek who had it last. Derek passed it over and their fingers brushed innocently but Derek jerked his hand back like he'd been burned.
Stiles rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"
"Sorry," Derek muttered.
About a half hour later Stiles turned too quickly and almost ran straight into Derek's chest but Derek reached out and stopped him first, then quickly dropped his hands and averted his eyes. Stiles sighed and reached out to tip Derek's face up to look at him.
"Look... as much as I'd love to make out with you right here, right now on this couch and every other surface in this house-I get it. You don't have to be so jumpy, okay? I understand this can't happen," Stiles said, gesturing between them, even as the disappointment filled him like a shallow pool. He wouldn't push. He wouldn't put the band or their chance at winning the Battle at stake.
No matter how much the loudest parts of him were screaming to do just that.
***
Stiles knocked on Scott's door the week before the Battle.
"Come in," Scott called out and Stiles let himself in, collapsing on Scott's bed on his stomach t watch his best friend do some school work on his computer.
Stiles didn't say anything until Scott looked up, brow furrowed. "What's up?"
"If we don't win this Alpha is done, right?" Stiles asked bluntly. Scott blinked and closed his laptop, then rolled back from his desk.
"Why are you asking?"
Stiles looked pointedly at the laptop and Scott's books. "I can read the writing on the wall. I don't know if everyone's hearts have been in it for a while."
"Yours has," Scott pointed out.
"Yeah, I've been in this for as long as I can remember and I will be for as far I can see ahead. I'm not mad or anything, I've had time to think about it."
"Yeah?" Scott asked. "What did you come up with?"
Stiles sighed. "I'm not sure, actually. You know how easy we work together? How much fun it is to write together and because we've known each other for so long it's like we share a brain?" Scott nodded with a small smile. "It's not like that with Derek. But there's... there's something there. It's so different than when I write with you because that's easy."
"Writing with Derek isn't easy?" Scott asked, seeming confused.
"It's not easy but it's not difficult, either. It's so different. When he puts words together it's like blowing my mind apart and putting it back together. It's not fun like when you and I write together. It's exciting."
"Gee, thanks," Scott said sarcastically but with a laugh. "Could that have anything to do with how you feel about Derek?"
Stiles blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Stiles, no one around here is blind. Even Lydia, who only met him for a few hours at the show a couple weeks ago, called you two happening. There's an energy between you two that works well."
"That's what I think too," Stiles admitted. "But for now we're not doing anything about it because the Battle is important to both of us. And there's where I get scared."
"Scared?"
Stiles sat up on Scott's bed and took a deep breath, feeling like he was hollow and could break from the inside out by saying the words out loud. "I've never felt this kind of creativity before, you know? When Derek and I write together I sometimes get chills from how amazing the flow is. The words... they just work, like us. But if we don't win this and the band ends that's it. Derek's done, he's gone. But I feel like the words are gone, too. Like I'll never get them back."
Scott sat with Stiles in silence for a few minutes before replying. "I get it, I do. When Allison and I got together and we connected there were moments we would have that took my breath away because it felt like she got me. In ways you couldn't because even though, like you said, we share a brain, it's almost as if the new things aren't as big to us anymore. But with someone else the new things are freaking amazing. Does that make sense?"
Stiles nodded slowly. "I think so." Stiles tugged at some frayed strings at the bottom of his pants. "I really like him and I think we could be amazing together. But if we never write together again after this Battle I don't know if I can take that. I don't know if I'll know what to do without him in my life."
"Stiles," Scott started gently, reaching out to pat his best friend on the shoulder. "He still lives in town and you have his cell phone number. The last thing I could ever see you doing is giving up on someone like that so easily. You're probably the most annoyingly persistent person I've ever met ever."
Stiles laughed, a loud relieved sound and collapsed back on the bed. Scott scrambled on top of him and hugged him tightly, like they used to when they were kids.
Stiles hugged Scott back. "Goddamn I'm glad you're my best friend, Scotty."
"Same, buddy."
***
"They were really good," Allison said, standing in the wings watching one of the bands before them finish their set.
Everyone nodded in agreement. Stiles felt his stomach clench because he heard how well Starkbeat and the Starlings did, how loudly the audience cheered for them. He wished he could be in a soundproof booth until they had to go on but there were still two other bands before them. The Hunters would go on last and Stiles would bet the whole contest that she got some lowly lackey to change the schedule that way for her.
Derek was quiet, standing off to the side and staring at nothing. Stiles wanted to go over to him, to offer something in the way of understanding or support or say something that could snap him out of his fugue but Stiles wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind, either.
"Oh shit," Scott muttered under his breath and Stiles turned to see what he was looking at.
Kate was walking over to them, in leather pants and with perfect fuck-me hair, a cherry red color staining her lip like she just drank the blood of a virgin.
"Probably did," Stiles mumbled to himself.
"From one band to another I just wanted to come over and say that The Hunters wishes you luck tonight," Kate said in a sickly sweet tone but with a sarcastic smirk.
"Thanks Kate," Allison spoke up for everyone with a smile, always trying to be the bigger person in any situation. Good on her, Stiles thought. "Good luck to you, too."
"Thanks Ally, but we don't need it. And when we win I want you to know I can find a place for you in my band, don't worry," Kate replied and Stiles felt his hackles rise. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Derek stiffen, as well, and Scott visibly bristle at Kate's words.
"I'm fine where I am, thanks," Allison replied, smile gone and tone hard.
Kate shrugged and turned to Derek. Stiles had unconsciously moved to block him somewhat, standing between them.
"Derek, I know after tonight this will be your second band ripped out from under you. I'd be happy to pay for you to write for The Hunters when this is over. You know, once the songs I already have run out," Kate said, grinning widely.
Stiles stepped up to her, finished with her rubbing it in whenever she could that she thought she was better than them.
"And what does the rent-a-cop have to say? Aren't you clinging to this dream because you'll never be able to step into daddy's big shoes?" Kate taunted Stiles.
And suddenly Stiles didn't care anymore. The Battle would happen and they'd perform and if they didn't win that was fine. He was done fighting for something that had its moment. If they won that was another thing but he was at peace.
"Know what, Kate?" Stiles started. He saw Scott start toward them, as if to break them up but Stiles held up a hand to stop him. "Every one of us is here because we love this band and each other. I don't think you've ever been able to say that genuinely about anything in your life."
"She hasn't," Derek piped up, surprising everyone, especially Kate from the venomous look she gave him. He stepped up beside Stiles. "If we win that's great. If we don't that's okay, too. All I really want now is to beat you. Not your band or any other band here tonight. You. I'm okay with losing, Kate. But I promise that we'll beat you and I'll be happy enough to see you realize you're no better than me and even more so when everyone else does, too."
"Genuinely, Kate. Good luck," Stiles said with a wide grin as he slung his arm around Derek's shoulders casually. Kate flipped her hair over her shoulder and stormed off muttering something about losers under her breath.
Stiles stepped back from Derek but punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Feel better?"
"Kind of. I don't think she'll ever change but I meant what I said. I want to beat her, even if we come in second last. As long as she doesn't win and we get to see the egg on her face I'm happy."
"Sounds good to me," Scott said as Allison and Kira nodded in agreement.
"Alpha, ten minutes to set up!" someone yelled from behind them.
"Ready?" Scott asked, focusing on Stiles.
Stiles nodded. "Ready."
***
Even though the new songs were upbeat and totally in line with Alpha's regular sound Derek couldn't help but feel the resignation in their beats. He had the feeling like this was the band's way of saying goodbye to themselves.
Derek played angled so he could watch Stiles who was practically vibrating with energy as he led the songs with his rolling beats and thumping rhythms. By the end of their four-song set he was drenched in sweat. When they got off stage it didn't stop Stiles from hugging Derek tightly, rubbing his cheek against Derek's stubble and making him laugh.
"Thanks," Stiles said quietly without the rest of the band hearing as he pulled away.
"For what?" Derek asked and Stiles shrugged.
"You made this whole thing a lot easier. I know it was hard for you too, in your own way, but you being here and doing everything you did helped me see it's not all bad."
"We could still win," Derek blurted out. Now he was the one who didn't want this to end. The idea of not hanging out with Stiles anymore, or any of the band really, was suddenly very, very possible and real to him. His sister would be so proud of him.
"Yeah," Stiles replied, but his tone was tinged with sadness. "We could."
Before they went back to the stage to do a quick equipment change Derek grabbed Stiles' hand and squeezed it tightly. Stiles laced their fingers together for a brief moment, then was gone. They packed up their instruments to make way for the next band and then waited.
***
"Votes have been tallied and we have the results!" The announcer held up an envelope over her head and the crowd screamed.
"I'll read off the top five bands. The three bands with the most points will win prizes ranging from $5000 to an exclusive record contract with Sonic Sound! The other two finalist bands will have an automatic entry into next year's Battle contest!
"Here we go! In fifth place... Ladybird!" The crowd cheered and clapped, a few disappointed noises coming from the far corners but the band graciously waved from neat the front of the stage.
"In fourth place... Alpha!" Derek felt like his heart was in his throat. He could see the pride Scott, Stiles, Allison and Kira had, and he felt pretty damn good himself, but their challenge to Kate still stood.
They waved and Scott and Stiles hugged. Derek could see Scott say something into Stiles' ear that made him nod and smile at his best friend before glancing back at Derek quickly. Derek game him a small smile and Stiles nodded back. Derek didn't know what that meant.
"In third place and the winner of $5000 is the Alex Nygard Experience!" Derek hunched in on himself, fingers crossed in his pockets.
"Second place goes to Starkbeat and the Starlings! Which means our first place band who wins the record contract is The Yellow Jackets!" The announcer revealed, pumping her fist as any other sound was drowned out by the overwhelming reaction.
Stiles stood up in his chair with both fists in the air and screamed his approval with the rest of the band joining in. Derek clapped and whistled until his hands hurt and he couldn't purse his lips any longer.
They didn't win, as expected. But they beat The Hunters.
Now what?
***
The doorbell jolted Stiles out of his thoughts and he realized he'd been staring at the same paragraph in his study guide for the Sheriff's department test for at least five minutes. He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Scott, can you get that?" Stiles yelled.
Silence.
"Scott?"
The doorbell rang again, twice.
Stiles swore and pushed away from his desk in his room. He checked Scott's room on his way to the door but it was empty. Stiles suddenly remembered Scott mentioning that he was planning a day of fun romance with Allison and Stiles sighed again.
"Right," he muttered to himself as he trudged to the front door.
He didn't bother checking to see who it was before swinging it open with a less than impressed expression to greet the visitor. Maybe he should have.
"Stiles."
"Derek."
"Hi."
"What's up?" Stiles asked, leaning against the door frame and trying desperately for nonchalantness but he was sure it was coming off more awkward.
Derek was here at the house for the first time in two weeks. Stiles picked up his phone probably ten times a day to try to compose a text to Derek that didn't sound desperate and sad. He didn't realize how much he would miss Derek, even in his grumpy, snarky moments. Just having him in the house made Stiles feel better and after two weeks of his routine being totally messed up on top of no Derek he was feeling lost.
Seeing Derek with his perfect scruff and well-worn blue jeans, standing in his doorway like nothing was different felt like hope and dread and fear all at once.
Derek shifted and looked around, over his shoulder and seemed generally uncomfortable. Finally he shrugged. "Can I come in? I have something I need to talk to you about."
Stiles wanted to say no, it was his first instinct but one borne of the need to protect himself from getting hurt. But he stepped back and let Derek in the house, closing the door quietly behind him.
Derek went straight to the living room and sat down on the ratty couch and fiddled with the cuffs on his leather jacket.
Stiles sat on the arm of the chair a few feet away and waited. Derek seemed to be working up to something and Stiles had to admit he was curious, if wary.
"After the Battle I got a call from an old friend of mine, someone who works at a label in L.A.," Derek started after about a minute of silence.
Stiles didn't say anything but he crossed his arms as if to hold in his thoughts that were trying to explode out a million different ways.
"Laura shared the video of us performing from the official Battle promotors and my friend caught it, passed it on to someone higher up. My buddy's label wants to set up a meeting or web chat or something with us" Derek explained.
Stiles felt frozen. He stared at Derek with wide eyes, unable to believe what he was saying even though he really, really wanted to.
"Stiles?" Derek asked, then snapped his fingers in front of Stiles a couple times. Stiles blinked, then glared at Derek.
"You know Alpha's done now," Stiles replied, feeling like he'd just taken a knife to the heart.
"Doesn't have to be. You could get in touch with everyone and see if they still want this shot. Or..."
"Or?" Stiles asked, curiosity getting the best of him.
"We could start our own band," Derek suggested. "You're the drummer, I'm the guitarist and singer."
Stiles blinked and was quiet, unsure if he could believe that this was really coming out of Derek's mouth. "Are you serious?"
"Stiles, we work well together. Really well," Derek said slowly. He paused and looked down at his hands before continuing. "And I miss you. I don't know how it happened because it shocked the shit out of me when I realized it, but I really fucking miss you."
Stiles grinned despite himself. "I miss you, too, grumpypants." Derek grinned back, then seemed to swallow hard.
"And this might be the biggest mistake I'll ever make but I think it'll be a bigger one if I don't say this before you answer. I want to take you on a date, a real one. I want to see if something could work between us off the stage."
Stiles sucked in a long breath. "Are you sure? After everything?"
Derek shook his head. "No, I'm not. I know you're not Kate, sure. But I also know that there are absolutely no guarantees for what's going to happen to me. If we end up getting signed and working together all the time I think it would kill me to be so close to you all the time and not have you in my life in every way."
Stiles sized him up for a second. "You've already written a song about this, haven't you."
Derek burst out laughing, long and loud, and it made Stiles' heart clench. He made Derek sound like that. How could he possibly say no to someone who sounded like that when he laughed?
"And if getting signed doesn't work out?" Stiles asked.
Derek shrugged. "You want to keep performing and making music even if there isn't an album and we're in Beacon Hills for the next ten years?"
Stiles didn't even have to think about it. "Yes."
"I do, too."
Stiles got out of his chair and sat beside Derek on the couch. Derek tentatively reached out and covered Stiles' hand before Stiles laced their fingers together.
"Just promise me we don't turn into one of those twee indie bands and I have to wear a cutesy polka dot dress while birds fly around our heads on the album cover."
Derek leaned over and kissed Stiles slowly, before whispering against his lips, "I'll wear the dress."
Stiles nodded and pulled Derek back with him against the cushions. They needed to make new material for the album.