I lost my car today
What a sad sad day for me.
I tried to go to the blues festival today but apparently I was off on either the time or the days...what do you do. Spent the day with Michael which was fabulous to say the least. I walked for days in my short skirt in the sweltering heat. All in all it was great. Had a couple drinks...made a few calls...had to walk the block about 10+ times to sober up. Jake and I cleared up our miscommunication which was good. I think that was what was putting me in a funk the last couple days. I didn't really know what to do about that situation but it is getting better now.
I feel confused tonight among other things...
I came home to an empty house. I guess I don't realize how alone really feels until I come home at 11 on a sunday night to silence and darkness. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I feel right now. I can't quite place it. Maybe sadness or loneliness.
I was thinking about what sarah wrote in her journal about being the strong one of the family and holding it all together. I feel in a lot of ways that that is my role in my family as well. It is a heavy burden. I'm glad she has someone to turn to when she can't handle it. It seems like it has been an uphill battle with my family this last year and I'm glad I have friends and especially josh who knows me almost as well as chad does. You can't bottle everything up forever. And you also can't be responsible for EVERYBODY'S well being. Eventually you have to be selfish and let things go occasionally. It helps keep you sane.
What do I have to look forward to this week? Work and countryfest with Sirpa! YAY! I really really want to get back to linfield. It's crazy how much I miss everyone. I don't know what I am going to do when I graduate..i can't even think about that.
I tried to go to the blues festival today but apparently I was off on either the time or the days...what do you do. Spent the day with Michael which was fabulous to say the least. I walked for days in my short skirt in the sweltering heat. All in all it was great. Had a couple drinks...made a few calls...had to walk the block about 10+ times to sober up. Jake and I cleared up our miscommunication which was good. I think that was what was putting me in a funk the last couple days. I didn't really know what to do about that situation but it is getting better now.
I feel confused tonight among other things...
I came home to an empty house. I guess I don't realize how alone really feels until I come home at 11 on a sunday night to silence and darkness. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I feel right now. I can't quite place it. Maybe sadness or loneliness.
I was thinking about what sarah wrote in her journal about being the strong one of the family and holding it all together. I feel in a lot of ways that that is my role in my family as well. It is a heavy burden. I'm glad she has someone to turn to when she can't handle it. It seems like it has been an uphill battle with my family this last year and I'm glad I have friends and especially josh who knows me almost as well as chad does. You can't bottle everything up forever. And you also can't be responsible for EVERYBODY'S well being. Eventually you have to be selfish and let things go occasionally. It helps keep you sane.
What do I have to look forward to this week? Work and countryfest with Sirpa! YAY! I really really want to get back to linfield. It's crazy how much I miss everyone. I don't know what I am going to do when I graduate..i can't even think about that.