how could you?
You know, i have written many entrys lately, very long ones, that explain everything i feel about you, and i always delete them because im afraid that you would get mad at me, lol, i mean, how you treat me, why should i give you that much respect?...
You know, there arent enough things i could say to you to tell you how much you hurt me, the sad thing is, you already know them, i have told them to you, and whenever i cry to you, you hang up on me and say, "im hanging up on you if you cry to me, its annoying". I dont know any other guy that would do that to someone they love. But then again, maybe you dont love me anymore?.. If you didnt then you should lead me to believe that.
You tell me you guys are "just friends", theres nothing more, that you barley know her, that your not even attracted to her, but you say it because you know thats what i want to hear. You call her and when i call on the other line you tell me its phil, or brett, when i know its not.
You saw what you put me through, you saw what you did to me, i lost almost 20 pounds because of how you treated me, and it didnt change. You are just to insecure you need to hang out with girls that you know are attracted to you. You dont care who it hurts, as long as your happy with yourself, Everyone sees what it does to me, everyone does, and i got attached to you, being with you for like a year in 4 months, and then getting played the last 3 months, is a horrible feeling. I cried myself to sleep everynight for a month, and you didnt do one thing to change that.
You tell her to come over, and then later that night you tell me you just got a haircut, when guess what, you didnt have a haircut the next day. Then someone tells me about her away message, it says "im at bronsons", so then you can lie to me. I dotn know what you guys are, you let me believe you guys are jsut friends. I think she really likes you, i mean why wouldnt she, you are attractive, and you are a charmer.
Thats what you do, you make them feel like there so special, You tell them how good looking they are all the time, you tell them you think you guys have chemistry, you give them myspace messages randomly, you flirt and tickle them and you always make fun of them as a joke to be funny, so they will think your funny. Trust me ive seen it.
If she doesnt like you, and you guys are really just friends, then im sorry, then this entry is stupid, and i am just seeing flirting and it leads me to think other things, but if she does like you and you know, then you are playing the both of us, because i would never kiss you or anything if you were in a relationship with someone else. If you guys are jsut friends, and she thinks im stupid for thinking anything, then yeah shes right, but people tell me that theres soemthing there, and i see it all the time at school.
Someone i barley talk to anymore, i like never talk to him, imed me last nigtht and asked "are you going to tell her that she is being played by him", and i wont say who, but i mean, everyone sees it, i if you are palying her too, i feel bad for her, because its a horrible feeling and i know just how it feels right now. If she doesnt care that we have kissed lately, then you can do w/e you want i dont care, i am a retard, but i really deep down dont think thats the case.
You need to grow up, and notice how you hurt people, everyone sees how you hurt me, and i always can never let you go, i have always been there for you, always, i would do anything for you because you werent just my love, you were my best friend. I dont flirt, at all, i dont talk to guys like you talk to girls I would love to see how you would feel if you saw me do what you do.
i havent hooked up with a different guy for like a year... thats not even close to slutty, and you call me easy?.. excuse me i am probably one of the most pickiest girls at our school. I have convos from online that i could put up here the stuff you say
You hurt me so much, you have put so many tears in my eyes, you let me get depressed, and i always thought the only thing that can make me better was someone else. Someone else that can make me happy, and treat me good, behind my back also, and that i would be attracted to. Theres about 3 guys in our whooole school that i am attractted to, thats it, thats not even close to a lot. then you give me a bad name to them and then you scare them off.
Im finally realizing that theres a better life without you, i regret meeting you, i regret it,i wish i had more interest in other guys, i really wish i did, you bring ym confidence down, you tell me how guys wouldnt like me, how they think bad about me, you tell me all your friends hate me, when they say hi to me everyday and talk to me all the time. I have one interest now, first time in like a year and a half, and i am really hoping for this one, i am not going to say anything, because you always go and ruin it for me, i want to get to know him an di really hope things start good, because ti will make me hate you even more.
Summer will be better not seeing you, when i hear things i get over it, when i think things, i get over it, when we are on breaks ups over like spring break or something, i get over it, but when i see it at school thats what makes me go crazy, and im so glad thats finally going away, because i deserve so much better and i am to good for you. I am the biggest sweetheart to you, i always tried to make you happy and change to exactly what you wanted to be, but i should be the one laughing at you, thinking how lonely your life will be if you dont shape up in the future.
you HAAAATE it when i write things like this so everyone can see, you hate it when i tell people we still kiss, you hate it when i talk about you to other people, but guess what, you deserve it, i swear on my life every single one, look what you did to courntey?... same thing you did to me. I hope all the girls take my advice, because you wont change, and you will always be a whore. i dont care if you hate how im giving you a bad name, i dont care if you scared what people will think.
You can give me a bad name, you can do what you want, if thats what will make you think you are the bigger person, then go for it, because none of my true friends will believe you. And i hope your future girlfriends watch out, and dont introduce their friends to you, because after you guys break up, he will be all over your friends, I PROMISE.
I dont care if nobody read this, i feel better saying this, and the only person i want to read this is you, This was all to you, and today i saw you two holding hands right in front of my face, i finally said "thats it", You made me cry right there today at lunch, just seeing that, because we arent fully over yet, we werent today at least, and you do that in front of my face, You are scum, and if you are a girl that wont take my advice, i have no sorrow for you when you get hurt, because i am promising you he will hurt you. I hate you, i hate you with everything, You have lost me in every single way, and i will never look at you the same. Dont come crawling back to me like you always do when i finish things for good either, because i will not take you back. You dotn care, then thats fine, because im done caring, i just wanted to leave this so you know how i feel, and that i wouldnt mind never talking to you for the rest of my life, Thanks for abusing me mentally, give me a bad name i dont care, just all i have to say is fuck you, i am better then you, and i will be happier then you, and i cant wait to see the day when your miserable.
You wont be seeing this entry being deleted, this one is up for good.