Weekend fell apart
So friday i felt so sick i almost asked to go home early, coupled with horrible back pain which receded a bit after switching my posture while typing and the excitment of going home soon. went out with patrick to wild wings where we couldnt get in because i'm 6 months shy of being legally able to consume alcohol, though we debated telling them none of us were going to drink and if it made them feel better they could put a wristband on me or a mark on my hand, but i'm sure we were all too hungry to really care. so after walking the long way around to get to Moe's 10 minutes before it closed, we ate a bit, headed back to patrick's townhouse, watched hardmetal concert videos, and i made jeff stay the nite since it was so late.
worked on saturday and sunday. the kennel's falling apart from the inside out. martha's become a neo-nazi and i feel bad for wendy because she's the one getting her ass handed to her no matter how hard she tries to appease martha and nicole. i hope she finds a better place soon. she told me her boyfriend and her got married about a month and a half ago. we were pretty close then so i'm not sure if she just really didnt make a big deal about it and no one else knew either or if i just wasn't around enough. but i became hopelessly romantic again and proclaimed how i wished i could get married. which got me wanting to find my own place even worse, which im working on. i asked jeff to come with me once i find a place, he seemed reluctant at first, saying, "why do you want to leave so bad?" and i figured he would say he'd rather not, but he said he would. i know he wants to, but able to are 2 different things.
made an ass out of myself, like usual on sunday. jeff went to hang out with this girl i dont particularly care for, but after our break last year, i told myself "no more being jealous. unless its for a real reason." part of it was because it took me by surprise. it was an all of a sudden "Oh, Tania and i are riding to see and hang out with Patrick." no day or so to give me time to be ok with it, though i should have been from the beginning. and i was, until i started making jokes and jeff thought i was being serious, which made me be serious, and i got upset, started crying, told him i was sorry, blah blah blah. you know, before jeff and i started going out, there was nothing you could do to make me cry, not even a close family member's death. now if you look at me wrong i burst out in no time. pathetic. kinda made me wonder whether we really are ready to move in together. my mom and sister were watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, so of course after crying to jeff, i came in on the saddest parts and cried some more.
my emotions were fragile for the rest of the day. the slightest thought of anything negative sent my eyes welling. jeff and i rode to walmart and he played "Hey there, Delilah" and i almost started crying again. funny how he says he hates Plain White Ts yet has learned to play and sing the song acoustic. i quit trying to figure him out.
so yeah, low points, high points, maybe next weekend will be better. will probably try to wait a couple months before i seriously look for my own place. i'm just so antsy to get out. i'm 20 years old and i'm the kind of person to where if i have the means, i'm going to do it. why should my dad provide for me if i have the means? so we'll see.
back to work to pay some bills.
g'nite all.
worked on saturday and sunday. the kennel's falling apart from the inside out. martha's become a neo-nazi and i feel bad for wendy because she's the one getting her ass handed to her no matter how hard she tries to appease martha and nicole. i hope she finds a better place soon. she told me her boyfriend and her got married about a month and a half ago. we were pretty close then so i'm not sure if she just really didnt make a big deal about it and no one else knew either or if i just wasn't around enough. but i became hopelessly romantic again and proclaimed how i wished i could get married. which got me wanting to find my own place even worse, which im working on. i asked jeff to come with me once i find a place, he seemed reluctant at first, saying, "why do you want to leave so bad?" and i figured he would say he'd rather not, but he said he would. i know he wants to, but able to are 2 different things.
made an ass out of myself, like usual on sunday. jeff went to hang out with this girl i dont particularly care for, but after our break last year, i told myself "no more being jealous. unless its for a real reason." part of it was because it took me by surprise. it was an all of a sudden "Oh, Tania and i are riding to see and hang out with Patrick." no day or so to give me time to be ok with it, though i should have been from the beginning. and i was, until i started making jokes and jeff thought i was being serious, which made me be serious, and i got upset, started crying, told him i was sorry, blah blah blah. you know, before jeff and i started going out, there was nothing you could do to make me cry, not even a close family member's death. now if you look at me wrong i burst out in no time. pathetic. kinda made me wonder whether we really are ready to move in together. my mom and sister were watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, so of course after crying to jeff, i came in on the saddest parts and cried some more.
my emotions were fragile for the rest of the day. the slightest thought of anything negative sent my eyes welling. jeff and i rode to walmart and he played "Hey there, Delilah" and i almost started crying again. funny how he says he hates Plain White Ts yet has learned to play and sing the song acoustic. i quit trying to figure him out.
so yeah, low points, high points, maybe next weekend will be better. will probably try to wait a couple months before i seriously look for my own place. i'm just so antsy to get out. i'm 20 years old and i'm the kind of person to where if i have the means, i'm going to do it. why should my dad provide for me if i have the means? so we'll see.
back to work to pay some bills.
g'nite all.