I know it's late, but here's my thoughts on KaiRuki after 268. I'll save my opinions on 269 after the next chapter.
Before I have always thought Rukia’s attraction to Kaien seems to apparent to really have depth. I could have accepted it either way, but it just felt like it was a crush(at most) on someone who is exceptionally kind and understanding
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After reading 268 I went back and read the second memories in the rain arc. I looked at the expressions on her face where she says "When I'm with Kaien-dono everything feels so right", and I think given all the other evidence we have from 262-268, it did strongly confirm that she was in love with him. We can only presume she says this statement when they've known each other for quite a bit of time, it wouldn't make sense in any other context. So, I do agree, it started off platonic but gradually she fell in love with him.
I also strongly agree that Kaien never intended to die that night and never sought to throw his life away. Because if I disapprove of Kaien's actions, I have to disapprove of Ichigo's actions. Both men made this decision, both men chose to fight for pride, the only difference is in the outcome. Nobody could have predicted that Kaien would end up dead, nobody expected it as well.
And I think that's why Rukia can hold herself back during the Grand Fisher arc, because she knows Ichigo isn't planning to throw his life away and that he's not intending to die. And she knows that Ichigo's pride is important, regardless of what happened with her experience with Kaien. And so she respects his decision and can stay out of the fight.
What happened that night was terrible, but I ultimately believe that Kaien had to make that decision to fight alone, just like Ichigo had to make the decision to fight GF alone, that's just who they are. That's just their reckless and idealistic and to an extent arrogant nature. As Ukitake said, Kaien would always take the most dangerous route.
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Kaien, Ichigo, and most of the protagonists never planned to die because they never planned to lose. Although as much I'd like to think that everything is possible if you try hard enough, it isn't. Or it is but you have to pay grand consequences. I'd like to see Kubo explore that in the near future. Did they really have to take the most dangerous route?
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