Advice about ongoing unpaid overtime and work stress

[mariole]

Hi, my friends! I'm up writing at 3:30 in the morning because I have a tension ball in my stomach and can't sleep. A wonderful situation at work turned on its head. Any advice regarding my mistakes and situation is very welcome. And listen, feel free to tell me what a jerk I've been, because I am not blameless in this mess I've made for myself. I'm

Comments

[elenya54]

(((((((Mariole))))))) What a miserable place for you to be. That's excellent advice from Gentlehobbit: document everything. As far as looking for another job, might it be worth waiting for the dust to settle? Will there be a problem with a reference? (Another good reason to document everything). Is it worth waiting for the director to get back and ask for a meeting with him with your boss present to explain and "apologise"? Yeh, yeh, I know the provocation wasn't yours, but you can still apologise for reacting. Depending on how much humble pie you want to eat (which I realise, may be none *grins*), you could play the "what would you like me to do differently" card; makes them feel superior and therefore possibly more friendly towards you. I have to admit as a former boss, I would have come down very heavily on staff who had a slanging match, but I hope I'd look for underlying causes, not just take it at face value so you have a bad boss there.

Take a deep breath and let it out. Remember, this is looming like Mount Doom at the moment, but these things shall pass. I just wished I'd been a fly on the wall (and of course, secretly, I'd have wanted to see you deck her *snerk*). Hey even better: I wish I'd have been a tick on either bitch, then I could have given them Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever...

Why am I here, when you're there needing a hug? :(

[mariole]

> Why am I here, when you're there needing a hug? :(

Life can be cruel, can't it? :)

> might it be worth waiting for the dust to settle?

No problem. Even on the "fast track", it typically takes 3 or 4 months to land a new position. By then they will have built a parking lot over the original confrontation site and the dust will be locked in place with tarmac.

> Will there be a problem with a reference?

No. I have very many people in this company who love and appreciate my work. My boss is out, as I won't include him if I'm looking behind his back, but my project leader in Montreal has been strongly supportive and is my part-time boss in all but position. She'll be great. And there's any number of coworkers I can draw on.

> you could play the "what would you like me to do differently" card; makes them feel superior

Absolutely. I feel like a total idiot, so acting humble will not be a problem. The trick will be talking positively about these 2 women who've been making my life hell.

> I have to admit as a former boss, I would have come down very heavily on staff who had a slanging match

And you would be quite right to do so. I can't believe I was this stupid, and got sucked in. It was all that OT running me down, and the super-hostile attitude of these people on top of that was more than my exhausted resources could handle. I'm really going to do my best to turn this around, but I realize it's a fault in myself and it might take some work to correct it.

I so appreciate you jumping in and giving me all this good advice. I really feel well-supported, and much more objective about my behavior and theirs. I owe you a lot, my friend! Cheers.