i'm not an addict its just a habit

[marinoism]

I move through silence,
wade through awkwardness and make it through
to muck and shit.
Only to find that I am slow.
I make my way into everyday,
live through deceitfulness and manage by
just close enough to cut my throat.
Only to find that daily, I bleed.
I stroll by indifference,
yes, parade through ignorance and by a sliver
I survive.
Only to find that not only am I a madwoman, but a dead one, too.

I learned how to starve myself into a frenzy of appetite.
Taught myself to want what is not particularly healthy for me.