New England part II
I had planned to download the nifty little write-up about my New England trip from my little PDA into my computer, thus stunning you all with my Cool Technie Knowledge, only to find that I had failed the crucial step of actually writing anything on the PDA.
So you will have this instead -- a breakdown into Good Things and Bad Things:
Bad Things:
1) The road map provided by Enterprise Rent-A-Car, which not only failed to include the most important landmark and city in New England (!!) but, more critically, did not show roads going where roads actually went. In some fairness to Enterprise Rent-A-Car this was because in some cases Massachusetts had decided to temporarily, as it were, remove the road or the exit, but in other cases, and in this situation we are speaking of the towns of Concord and Salem, which you would think Massachusetts would want to get me into so that I could spend money there, the roads were there, but the map had them going in excitingly different ways, and, in some cases, left our roads altogether.
2) Street signs in Boston. I think I speak for every tourist in Boston, and possibly everybody in Boston, and certainly for the Democratic National Convention, that while we all respect the need for the federal government to fix I-93, and god knows that it needs fixing, it is helpful, when closing down an exit ramp and providing little signs that tell you that you will no longer be able to go down said exit ramp, to 1) make the little signs actually visible to reduce the dangers of slamming a Toyota Corolla into large concrete barriers and 2) make sure that your little (very little) signs showing us how to follow the detour to a different I-93 exit do not simply have us going round and round and round in circles around Boston, because while it is certainly cool in one way to be thinking, "I'm going round and round in circles where Paul Revere used to drink beer," this inevitably leads to the less cheery thought that Paul Revere is best known for his ability to leave Boston which is something that you are really beginning to envy him for, and without suddenly screaming "I CAN'T GO AROUND THIS ANYMORE" and flying off into a rather less pleasant but considerably more exciting part of Boston in your attempt to get out of the place.
3) The Witch Museum in Salem, or strictly speaking, one of the Witch Museums, since one was pretty much all I could handle in one day, or even in one year.
4) Sugar, but that wasn't exactly a New England problem, and we've already told that story.
5) Hundreds and thousands of little children screaming incomprehensible things while trying to run over Minutemen. Admittedly this did give a sorta historical sense of the Revolution and all, but my sense is that the British army was considerably quieter.
Good Things:
1) Concord, Massachusetts. Admittedly Concord is an extremely dangerous town for anybody like me that gets easily distracted, since it is filled with distracting things, but any town that includes the house where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women and hiking trails AND FRESHWATER RED ALGAE encrusted on snails is a major winner in my book.
Those of you less interested in the dramatics of freshwater red algae, which is probably all of you, should still plan to go to Orchard House in Concord if you haven't already; the tour is really very good. I skipped most of the other house tours so that I'd have an excuse to come back.
2) The Museum of Science, Boston.
3) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, on IMAX.
4) Actual ducklings in the Boston Public Garden. (Are they imported for tourists?)
5) The Ecotarium in Worcester.
6) The Peabody Essex Museum, which almost made up for...
7) The Witch Museum, and, yes, ok I also put this under Bad Things, but really, this was one of those things that was so bad, it was good, especially when The Theater Went Dark to Reveal --
THE RED GLOWING EYES OF LUCIFER!
It went downhill from there, but really, you can't ever return from the red glowing eyes of Lucifer, no matter how much you try.
8) Getting to see new internet friends, old friends, and family who are also friends, and getting to enjoy real conversations and tea and coffee and chatting and everything. Thanks to all of you.
So you will have this instead -- a breakdown into Good Things and Bad Things:
Bad Things:
1) The road map provided by Enterprise Rent-A-Car, which not only failed to include the most important landmark and city in New England (!!) but, more critically, did not show roads going where roads actually went. In some fairness to Enterprise Rent-A-Car this was because in some cases Massachusetts had decided to temporarily, as it were, remove the road or the exit, but in other cases, and in this situation we are speaking of the towns of Concord and Salem, which you would think Massachusetts would want to get me into so that I could spend money there, the roads were there, but the map had them going in excitingly different ways, and, in some cases, left our roads altogether.
2) Street signs in Boston. I think I speak for every tourist in Boston, and possibly everybody in Boston, and certainly for the Democratic National Convention, that while we all respect the need for the federal government to fix I-93, and god knows that it needs fixing, it is helpful, when closing down an exit ramp and providing little signs that tell you that you will no longer be able to go down said exit ramp, to 1) make the little signs actually visible to reduce the dangers of slamming a Toyota Corolla into large concrete barriers and 2) make sure that your little (very little) signs showing us how to follow the detour to a different I-93 exit do not simply have us going round and round and round in circles around Boston, because while it is certainly cool in one way to be thinking, "I'm going round and round in circles where Paul Revere used to drink beer," this inevitably leads to the less cheery thought that Paul Revere is best known for his ability to leave Boston which is something that you are really beginning to envy him for, and without suddenly screaming "I CAN'T GO AROUND THIS ANYMORE" and flying off into a rather less pleasant but considerably more exciting part of Boston in your attempt to get out of the place.
3) The Witch Museum in Salem, or strictly speaking, one of the Witch Museums, since one was pretty much all I could handle in one day, or even in one year.
4) Sugar, but that wasn't exactly a New England problem, and we've already told that story.
5) Hundreds and thousands of little children screaming incomprehensible things while trying to run over Minutemen. Admittedly this did give a sorta historical sense of the Revolution and all, but my sense is that the British army was considerably quieter.
Good Things:
1) Concord, Massachusetts. Admittedly Concord is an extremely dangerous town for anybody like me that gets easily distracted, since it is filled with distracting things, but any town that includes the house where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women and hiking trails AND FRESHWATER RED ALGAE encrusted on snails is a major winner in my book.
Those of you less interested in the dramatics of freshwater red algae, which is probably all of you, should still plan to go to Orchard House in Concord if you haven't already; the tour is really very good. I skipped most of the other house tours so that I'd have an excuse to come back.
2) The Museum of Science, Boston.
3) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, on IMAX.
4) Actual ducklings in the Boston Public Garden. (Are they imported for tourists?)
5) The Ecotarium in Worcester.
6) The Peabody Essex Museum, which almost made up for...
7) The Witch Museum, and, yes, ok I also put this under Bad Things, but really, this was one of those things that was so bad, it was good, especially when The Theater Went Dark to Reveal --
THE RED GLOWING EYES OF LUCIFER!
It went downhill from there, but really, you can't ever return from the red glowing eyes of Lucifer, no matter how much you try.
8) Getting to see new internet friends, old friends, and family who are also friends, and getting to enjoy real conversations and tea and coffee and chatting and everything. Thanks to all of you.