Lost!
I have nothing to say about Heroes this week. So, onwards to Lost!
1. I'm SO CONFUSED.
2. But in a good way. Still, five minutes in and I can already see I'll need to watch ABC's enhanced version.
3. So, Locke is…alive…and with the survivors of crash number two. At least he should be able to give them hunting and hatch advice. What hatch were they in that had the little maps?
4. Oh. Man. If Locke is alive, does that mean Boone is coming back? Please tell me that this does not mean that Boone is coming back. Charlie, Mr. Eko, Libby, I'm cool with.
5. You know, if I were going to build a bizarre wheel thingy that threw people through time and space and hid islands, I'd make sure it sent people to nicer places than the middle of nowhere in the Tunisian desert. I'm just saying. Like, say, a nice Tunisian beach. With one of those hotels where they make the little fruity cocktails and have beachside massages and…I'm digressing. Onwards!
6. New memo! Never get emergency surgery for a broken bone in the middle of nowhere in the Tunisian desert! See point 5 above! Even if the guy from Fringe just happens to be watching you! Perhaps especially if the guy from Fringe just happens to watching you. Like, OUCH.
7. This is Matthew Abaddon. He's delighted to be on a show that isn't making even a pretense of being scientific while mucking up the science, although, to be truthful, he's probably a bit disappointed that you're not a hot blonde. Don't worry about telling him anything, since trust me, he's seen a lot stranger.
8. Hey, John Locke can walk even off the island! Does that mean that Rose, assuming she's survived the time jumping, has her cancer completely cured and can go home with her dentist?
9. Winner for least convincing Spanish accents ever, although yay on Sayid for doing charity work. I can't help but notice this is a lot more than Jack and Kate are willing to contribute to the world, and yes, Kate, I'm looking directly at you.
10. You know, Kate and Walt were the two characters I really thought might have bought the argument of going back to save the others. Not because I think highly of Kate, but because it's the sort of dumb thing she would do thinking that she was helping people/getting to be with Sawyer.
11. Ok, Widmore officially does not pay his employees enough. And how exactly is Abaddon supposed to guide people to where they're supposed to go if he's been shot, or is this just an attempt to ensure his complete availability on Fringe?
12. [watches car accident] Ok, what the kidney, the getting thrown out of a building by his own father, the Helen story, the plane crash, the falling down a well and breaking his leg, and now this, Locke is officially the Least Lucky Lost character ever. And I include the ones who are dead.
13. However, I was certainly expecting the hostility from Jack! Glad to see that you've been working so hard on that bedside manner we've only been yelling at you about since Season 1.
14. Jack, even if John Locke is just a lonely old man who crashed on an island, you've gotta admit that was one strange island and maybe the man has a point. Oh. Wait. You're Jack. Forget about admitting that other people may have a point.
15. And here I thought Jack was only trying to drive me to suicide. While we're at it, and why I understand that the production/writing choice to film it this way to increase dramatic tension, Locke, a gun might be faster and not always as destructive to innocent electrical wiring and ceiling units as hanging can be. As you are demonstrating.
16. Ben, you're probably not looking for my advice or anything, but it's a total waste of effort to stop someone from committing suicide if you're just going to turn around and murder him afterwards.
17. Although that was less shocking than the sight of Ben trying to talk ANYONE out of suicide.
18. "The timing would just confuse you." It certainly confuses ME. And incidentally, I get that people heal quickly on this island but we aren't seriously trying to suggest that Locke's leg fixed itself up while he was a corpse?
19. "Yeah. He's the man that killed me." So. Much. Left. Out. Locke. Although in fairness I'm not sure the guy you're talking to will even be buying that much of this story.
1. I'm SO CONFUSED.
2. But in a good way. Still, five minutes in and I can already see I'll need to watch ABC's enhanced version.
3. So, Locke is…alive…and with the survivors of crash number two. At least he should be able to give them hunting and hatch advice. What hatch were they in that had the little maps?
4. Oh. Man. If Locke is alive, does that mean Boone is coming back? Please tell me that this does not mean that Boone is coming back. Charlie, Mr. Eko, Libby, I'm cool with.
5. You know, if I were going to build a bizarre wheel thingy that threw people through time and space and hid islands, I'd make sure it sent people to nicer places than the middle of nowhere in the Tunisian desert. I'm just saying. Like, say, a nice Tunisian beach. With one of those hotels where they make the little fruity cocktails and have beachside massages and…I'm digressing. Onwards!
6. New memo! Never get emergency surgery for a broken bone in the middle of nowhere in the Tunisian desert! See point 5 above! Even if the guy from Fringe just happens to be watching you! Perhaps especially if the guy from Fringe just happens to watching you. Like, OUCH.
7. This is Matthew Abaddon. He's delighted to be on a show that isn't making even a pretense of being scientific while mucking up the science, although, to be truthful, he's probably a bit disappointed that you're not a hot blonde. Don't worry about telling him anything, since trust me, he's seen a lot stranger.
8. Hey, John Locke can walk even off the island! Does that mean that Rose, assuming she's survived the time jumping, has her cancer completely cured and can go home with her dentist?
9. Winner for least convincing Spanish accents ever, although yay on Sayid for doing charity work. I can't help but notice this is a lot more than Jack and Kate are willing to contribute to the world, and yes, Kate, I'm looking directly at you.
10. You know, Kate and Walt were the two characters I really thought might have bought the argument of going back to save the others. Not because I think highly of Kate, but because it's the sort of dumb thing she would do thinking that she was helping people/getting to be with Sawyer.
11. Ok, Widmore officially does not pay his employees enough. And how exactly is Abaddon supposed to guide people to where they're supposed to go if he's been shot, or is this just an attempt to ensure his complete availability on Fringe?
12. [watches car accident] Ok, what the kidney, the getting thrown out of a building by his own father, the Helen story, the plane crash, the falling down a well and breaking his leg, and now this, Locke is officially the Least Lucky Lost character ever. And I include the ones who are dead.
13. However, I was certainly expecting the hostility from Jack! Glad to see that you've been working so hard on that bedside manner we've only been yelling at you about since Season 1.
14. Jack, even if John Locke is just a lonely old man who crashed on an island, you've gotta admit that was one strange island and maybe the man has a point. Oh. Wait. You're Jack. Forget about admitting that other people may have a point.
15. And here I thought Jack was only trying to drive me to suicide. While we're at it, and why I understand that the production/writing choice to film it this way to increase dramatic tension, Locke, a gun might be faster and not always as destructive to innocent electrical wiring and ceiling units as hanging can be. As you are demonstrating.
16. Ben, you're probably not looking for my advice or anything, but it's a total waste of effort to stop someone from committing suicide if you're just going to turn around and murder him afterwards.
17. Although that was less shocking than the sight of Ben trying to talk ANYONE out of suicide.
18. "The timing would just confuse you." It certainly confuses ME. And incidentally, I get that people heal quickly on this island but we aren't seriously trying to suggest that Locke's leg fixed itself up while he was a corpse?
19. "Yeah. He's the man that killed me." So. Much. Left. Out. Locke. Although in fairness I'm not sure the guy you're talking to will even be buying that much of this story.