Mrs. Robinson's Disgrace: the Private Diary of a Victorian Lady, by Kate Summerscale
Mrs. Robinson's Disgrace: the Private Diary of a Victorian Lady, by Kate Summerscale
In 1858, Victorian courts finally made it a little easier and a little less expensive for unhappy couples to obtain a divorce - if only a little. Rather than requiring an Act of Parliament, petitioners could instead have their cases heard by a panel of judges, or even a jury. Divorce still remained difficult to obtain: men had to prove that their wives had committed adultery, or at least been seen to enter a room with another man and stay within that room for some time. Women had to prove not merely adultery, but also at least one additional problem: severe physical abuse, incest, sodomy, bestiality, bigamy or cruelty. Cruelty and physical abuse, then as now, was a matter of opinion; sodomy and incest difficult to prove. Bigamy rarely came up. Nonetheless, this double standard at least gave women the right to try to obtain a divorce - and the new law also made it slightly easier for men to prove adultery, and thus leave their marriages, to the shock and horror of many Victorians, who recognized the frequent perils of marriage, particularly those marriages made for economic reasons (many of them) but worried about the effects on society should the bonds of marriage collapse.
The well to do Mrs. Isabella Robinson was one of the women deeply affected by the new laws. This was her second marriage. Her first, to a considerably older man, had ended with his death. Her husband left her a child but no money, and although she had some potential money from a potential inheritance, she was for all intents and purposes left as a dependent on her parents. This perhaps helps to explain her second marriage, to Henry Robinson, a successful and well to do civil engineer. Mr. Robinson, in turn, was probably attracted in part by Isabella's wealthy family and her extensive connections - one cousin had married a son of William Wordsworth, for instance, connecting her to the intellectual set, and other relatives mingled in high society. Mrs. Robinson's family settled some bonds upon her to help her financially; Henry Robinson, following the law, was able to claim the bonds and the rest of her money as his own.
The marriage ran into difficulties shortly thereafter, partly thanks to a lack of shared interests, partly because, as Mrs. Robinson discovered, her husband was not exactly the faithful sort, and ended up fathering at least two illegitimate daughters, and partly because, reading through the lines of Mrs. Robinson's diaries, their sex life sucked. They had two sons, and then apparently stopped sleeping together, or stopped sleeping together very much. Mrs. Robinson had a vague diagnosis of a "uterine disorder." The unhappy Mrs. Robinson soon began developing severe crushes on other men - in some cases, they might be called fixations - despite knowing that this was against the codes of her society. She enjoyed "exciting caresses" with at least one, a popular, married doctor who ran a health spa visited by many, including Darwin, and may possibly have slept with this doctor or with others. (In classic overwrought Victorian style Mrs. Robinson drew a veil over the damning details.) That was scandalous enough. But the real scandal was that she wrote the details down in her diary.
When her husband found the diary, he was furious and decided to obtain a divorce, however expensive, using the diary as a witness to her adultery, which should have been grounds for a divorce under the new law. Unfortunately for him, his case ran into two slight snags. First, the doctor denied everything, claiming that Mrs. Robinson's diary entries were nothing more than delusions. Second, no one, but no one, could believe that a woman would admit to adultery, much less write it down. Only two explanations were possible: Mrs. Robinson was insane, or, she had made it all up. Possibly as a draft for a popular novel. In any case, the very fact that she had written down the details of her adultery and her longing for the embraces of other men and her obsession with said other men was very proof that it hadn't happened. The divorce petition was denied.
Summerscale does an admirable job of presenting Mrs. Robinson's story evenhandedly, setting it in the context of changing Victorian views of gender relations, sexuality, and masturbation. She hints that part of Mrs. Robinson's problem may have been that she was unable, thanks to her class and gender, to seek fulfilling employment, although since Mrs. Robinson was also able to publish the occasional poem and essay, I'm not sure how valid this is in her case. I'd say it's more than Mrs. Robinson did have the opportunity to pursue a writing career, but for various reasons, was not successful at it. How much this troubled her is difficult to say, but she did know several successful women novelists of the period, and blamed herself for accomplishing so little. An added problem was Mrs. Robinson's sex drive, which did not vanish just because her husband lost interest in her. Masturbation was regarded as a danger at the time, leaving adultery, or at least hoped for adultery, as one of her only options. The result: a diary so shocking to her contemporaries (not particularly shocking now) that ladies were not allowed to hear it in court and newspapers reporting the story had to resort to careful euphemisms.
Summerscale places Mrs. Robinson's diaries in a literary context, noting, as did others at the time, their relationship to many of the scandalous books of the period, some of which used diary entries as a literary device. (This was one argument for believing that the diaries were complete fiction.) Summerscale also includes several stories of other people of both genders who found themselves trapped by Victorian gender expectations - or confused by how much these expectations were changing. It's a fascinating read, especially for those still wanting to cling to the delightful fantasy of happy, blissful Victorian marriages filled with plenty of children. Those certainly existed - Summerscale details more than one - but even a woman who had certainly enjoyed one - Queen Victoria - could recognize that marriages in the 19th century had their dangers, and that wedding day expectations of happiness were not always fulfilled. Well written and enthralling, and a recommended read.
In 1858, Victorian courts finally made it a little easier and a little less expensive for unhappy couples to obtain a divorce - if only a little. Rather than requiring an Act of Parliament, petitioners could instead have their cases heard by a panel of judges, or even a jury. Divorce still remained difficult to obtain: men had to prove that their wives had committed adultery, or at least been seen to enter a room with another man and stay within that room for some time. Women had to prove not merely adultery, but also at least one additional problem: severe physical abuse, incest, sodomy, bestiality, bigamy or cruelty. Cruelty and physical abuse, then as now, was a matter of opinion; sodomy and incest difficult to prove. Bigamy rarely came up. Nonetheless, this double standard at least gave women the right to try to obtain a divorce - and the new law also made it slightly easier for men to prove adultery, and thus leave their marriages, to the shock and horror of many Victorians, who recognized the frequent perils of marriage, particularly those marriages made for economic reasons (many of them) but worried about the effects on society should the bonds of marriage collapse.
The well to do Mrs. Isabella Robinson was one of the women deeply affected by the new laws. This was her second marriage. Her first, to a considerably older man, had ended with his death. Her husband left her a child but no money, and although she had some potential money from a potential inheritance, she was for all intents and purposes left as a dependent on her parents. This perhaps helps to explain her second marriage, to Henry Robinson, a successful and well to do civil engineer. Mr. Robinson, in turn, was probably attracted in part by Isabella's wealthy family and her extensive connections - one cousin had married a son of William Wordsworth, for instance, connecting her to the intellectual set, and other relatives mingled in high society. Mrs. Robinson's family settled some bonds upon her to help her financially; Henry Robinson, following the law, was able to claim the bonds and the rest of her money as his own.
The marriage ran into difficulties shortly thereafter, partly thanks to a lack of shared interests, partly because, as Mrs. Robinson discovered, her husband was not exactly the faithful sort, and ended up fathering at least two illegitimate daughters, and partly because, reading through the lines of Mrs. Robinson's diaries, their sex life sucked. They had two sons, and then apparently stopped sleeping together, or stopped sleeping together very much. Mrs. Robinson had a vague diagnosis of a "uterine disorder." The unhappy Mrs. Robinson soon began developing severe crushes on other men - in some cases, they might be called fixations - despite knowing that this was against the codes of her society. She enjoyed "exciting caresses" with at least one, a popular, married doctor who ran a health spa visited by many, including Darwin, and may possibly have slept with this doctor or with others. (In classic overwrought Victorian style Mrs. Robinson drew a veil over the damning details.) That was scandalous enough. But the real scandal was that she wrote the details down in her diary.
When her husband found the diary, he was furious and decided to obtain a divorce, however expensive, using the diary as a witness to her adultery, which should have been grounds for a divorce under the new law. Unfortunately for him, his case ran into two slight snags. First, the doctor denied everything, claiming that Mrs. Robinson's diary entries were nothing more than delusions. Second, no one, but no one, could believe that a woman would admit to adultery, much less write it down. Only two explanations were possible: Mrs. Robinson was insane, or, she had made it all up. Possibly as a draft for a popular novel. In any case, the very fact that she had written down the details of her adultery and her longing for the embraces of other men and her obsession with said other men was very proof that it hadn't happened. The divorce petition was denied.
Summerscale does an admirable job of presenting Mrs. Robinson's story evenhandedly, setting it in the context of changing Victorian views of gender relations, sexuality, and masturbation. She hints that part of Mrs. Robinson's problem may have been that she was unable, thanks to her class and gender, to seek fulfilling employment, although since Mrs. Robinson was also able to publish the occasional poem and essay, I'm not sure how valid this is in her case. I'd say it's more than Mrs. Robinson did have the opportunity to pursue a writing career, but for various reasons, was not successful at it. How much this troubled her is difficult to say, but she did know several successful women novelists of the period, and blamed herself for accomplishing so little. An added problem was Mrs. Robinson's sex drive, which did not vanish just because her husband lost interest in her. Masturbation was regarded as a danger at the time, leaving adultery, or at least hoped for adultery, as one of her only options. The result: a diary so shocking to her contemporaries (not particularly shocking now) that ladies were not allowed to hear it in court and newspapers reporting the story had to resort to careful euphemisms.
Summerscale places Mrs. Robinson's diaries in a literary context, noting, as did others at the time, their relationship to many of the scandalous books of the period, some of which used diary entries as a literary device. (This was one argument for believing that the diaries were complete fiction.) Summerscale also includes several stories of other people of both genders who found themselves trapped by Victorian gender expectations - or confused by how much these expectations were changing. It's a fascinating read, especially for those still wanting to cling to the delightful fantasy of happy, blissful Victorian marriages filled with plenty of children. Those certainly existed - Summerscale details more than one - but even a woman who had certainly enjoyed one - Queen Victoria - could recognize that marriages in the 19th century had their dangers, and that wedding day expectations of happiness were not always fulfilled. Well written and enthralling, and a recommended read.