Once again I'm the one left feeling shitty
Why do I still feel bad? I shouldn't. He is the one who did all of the damage, but yet I still feel sorry for him. I guess my heart is too big and I hate seeing anyone I once cared for be hurt. I definately do not want him back. I just want things to be right between us. Maybe to make myself feel better. I shouldn't be feeling bad in the first place because I didn't do anything wrong. I have just moved on. And if he loves me like he says he does then he would want what makes me happy. And not being with him makes me happy. Even after everything he said to me I forgive him, but I will never forget. Things will never be the same between us. I think everything would be great if he just would have never called me. He should have just left me alone if he knew what was right. It's the right thing for me. He wants my friendship, but even then it would not be a good friendship because I wouldn't be able to talk to him the way friends should talk. I would feel constant sorrow for him. I know all of this comes along in a break-up process, but this time it went to the extreme. I told him to move on and he says he doesn't want to look because he knows there is no one else out there good enough as me. So why didn't he treat me that way while we were dating? Instead he just treated me like any other girl. But with me - I know there is something better out there than him, and whenever I find him I will make sure I hang on to him for good and never let him go. I know in the previous entry I talked all big and bad about how I would be flying solo for the rest of my life, but that is not possible. I cannot give up on all men just because the man I did have was a failure. But I do know that I do not want to commit to anyone right now. I need some time to find myself. I lost myself somewhere within the last couple of months. I don't even know who I am anymore.