"Struggle for the words and then give up..."
I am incredibly content at the moment. I think this is the latest I have ever returned home for West Terre Haute. In otherwords, I will try to make this a short post (although I will probably get carried away).
Yes, so I seriously walked in the door about 20 minutes ago. I remained home much longer than expected, for my family was being even MORE lovable than usual, I was playing Dr. Dolittle to a baby mouse that my cat was trying to psychotically prey-upon, and let's face it-I just really didn't want to leave "home". This weekend turned from being a mistake into something quite lovely.
For some reason, I have this renewed confidence and motivation for my life. I think graduations do that to people, or maybe just me. They give hope to the future. I know what I want more than ever, and I couldn't want it stronger. So, I know what I must do, and do it I will. I kept having such lovely mini-dreams on the drive back tonight. It was fantastic to have the windows down, wind blowing everywhere, and blaring one of my mix CDs. The sky was so beautifully dark. Little patches of heat lightning could be made out through the clouds, and there was me, in my perfect world. I enjoy driving so much more than the average person. I just seem to have this new power surging through my veins and I feel incredibly alive. I hope it decides to stay for awhile. I have been mobilized.
Graduation was really lovely today. I couldn't get over Michael (sorry brother, but I am going to get a wee bit sappy here). He looked so cute in his tux. It just hit me how fast he is growing up, how fast I am growing up, how fast the world moves. Next year he will be on that stage graduating. It is a little hard to believe. I was so proud of him with his erect "military man" posture. I was proud of the fact that he clapped for everyone (just like I did), for recieving a diploma is no small feat. I was so proud of everyone, in my own little way. And like I said Stephen, your speech was so beautiful and honest. One of the best valedictorian speeches (if not the best) that I have ever heard. It actually made my mother cry. It just struck me how final graduations really are, but it is very true: your "real" life doesn't begin until after high school.
And that's what I am living, my "real" life. It finally sank in today. It finally hit me. Although it might be frustrating, depressing, manic, or lonely sometimes, that is exactly what I am doing. I am living my life the way I wish, and I am one of the lucky ones for that.
Yes, so I seriously walked in the door about 20 minutes ago. I remained home much longer than expected, for my family was being even MORE lovable than usual, I was playing Dr. Dolittle to a baby mouse that my cat was trying to psychotically prey-upon, and let's face it-I just really didn't want to leave "home". This weekend turned from being a mistake into something quite lovely.
For some reason, I have this renewed confidence and motivation for my life. I think graduations do that to people, or maybe just me. They give hope to the future. I know what I want more than ever, and I couldn't want it stronger. So, I know what I must do, and do it I will. I kept having such lovely mini-dreams on the drive back tonight. It was fantastic to have the windows down, wind blowing everywhere, and blaring one of my mix CDs. The sky was so beautifully dark. Little patches of heat lightning could be made out through the clouds, and there was me, in my perfect world. I enjoy driving so much more than the average person. I just seem to have this new power surging through my veins and I feel incredibly alive. I hope it decides to stay for awhile. I have been mobilized.
Graduation was really lovely today. I couldn't get over Michael (sorry brother, but I am going to get a wee bit sappy here). He looked so cute in his tux. It just hit me how fast he is growing up, how fast I am growing up, how fast the world moves. Next year he will be on that stage graduating. It is a little hard to believe. I was so proud of him with his erect "military man" posture. I was proud of the fact that he clapped for everyone (just like I did), for recieving a diploma is no small feat. I was so proud of everyone, in my own little way. And like I said Stephen, your speech was so beautiful and honest. One of the best valedictorian speeches (if not the best) that I have ever heard. It actually made my mother cry. It just struck me how final graduations really are, but it is very true: your "real" life doesn't begin until after high school.
And that's what I am living, my "real" life. It finally sank in today. It finally hit me. Although it might be frustrating, depressing, manic, or lonely sometimes, that is exactly what I am doing. I am living my life the way I wish, and I am one of the lucky ones for that.