Im Feeling A Lot Of Different Emotions Right Now
OK, I've got to get this off my chest, i was told once that if im going to accomplish anything in life i have to go for it, i cant be fearful of whats going to happen or whats going to be said. i was also told by someone very close to me that i should never hold my emotions in, so here goes. big sigh............. Colleen, i know u told me not to do this another big sigh..............i wanted to say this face to face with you yesterday but i froze when i went to say something, i wanted to tell you over the phone but i froze again, no matter how much i usually plan things, and im sure this happens to a lot of people, but no matter how much planning i do and figure out days ahead of time exactly what im going to say to you the words just never seem to come out or they come out sounding all retarded and you end up looking like a fool, but i guess this is the next best way to tell you. Colleen, im sure u have noticed after talking to you that i REALLY, REALLY like you, im not sure whether u feel the same way and i know u say how much u want to be with travis, and how u dont want anymore sidetracks, but i just couldnt hold it in any longer, i have to let u know exactly how i feel about u and believe me i didnt just start liking u like this, the first time i ever met u like 2 years ago i wanted to let u know how much i liked u, but could never bring myself to it, then when i saw u again recently in the hospital i was very excited and had hoped u didnt have a b/f, and figured u didnt after the reaction i got from u there and the fact that that kid wheeling u around said u sounded like u really wanted me, but anyways believe me when i say this that i never ever wanted to get in between u and travis, i promised a long time ago beacuse of obvious reasons that i would never EVER cheat on a girl or get in between relationships. I just want to let u know how i feel, and personally i think we have way too much in common not to be together, i know u probably wont care that i even feel this way and u will more than likely stay with travis, but i just needed to tell u how i feel, i still want to be ur best friend if things dont and probably wont work out, i feel like a real jerk for what im going to say right now but i have to say it anyways......im hoping that when u read this that i change ur mind and get u away from travis, but i doubt this will because of the way u feel for travis. i keep on rambling, and i have a lot more to say that i just cant even get out right now so after u read this if u dont want to talk to me anymore because of the awkwardness or travis or for any other reason i can totally understand, again for the 100th time i had to get this out there because i feel so strongly about u, to me u are the perfect girl, we have everything in common and were meant to be together, i just feel that u would would be the final piece thats missing in my life, and i truly mean everything ive said this is coming straight from my heart. but again thats just my thoughts and im sure their not urs, after u read this and if u still just want to be best friens i am totally cool with that and i totally support u if u still want to be with travis , AGAIN this is just a letter to let u know how i feel and however u react to it if fine with me, im not gonna wait around for u and travis to break up, i will move on and see if i can find someone else, but i will always feel this way about u and if u do decide to break up with travis in the future i hope that we could persue a relationship. so call me if u want after u read this if u feel like it because i would like to know how u feel, and i would like to tell u more if i can think of what else i wanted to say that i didnt add in here. im hoping to hear from u soon, goodnight and goodbye.