I want to be a better person

[mariequint]

I want to wake up and look in the mirror and know the person looking back.

I want to be content with what a look like. I mean none
of us will ever be perfect but we can know how to better our appearance.

I want to go back to church. I am not a holy person, and I know Im never going to go
to heaven. But we are all allowed to just try and be a closer.

Oh, I'm sick of being that girl. Yeah you know which one.
The one thats always down to drink. and smoke pot for that matter.
Thats going to be coming to a screeching hault.

And I'm interested in who will still be there.
What friends will i still have if I'm not drinking?
Not smoking? You know what? I really don't care.

I'm sure I prolly wont talk to Matt anymore.
And I'm sure that everything that I wanted with Josh will
probably just melt away. And thats fine. If thats what things
are based on than so be it.

I dont want to fuck around with anyone anymore
if it isnt real.
I dont need any more fairy tales in my life.
What I need is some ground.
I need people to push me when i cant keep going.

But right now, I feel helpless....
And theres someones voice in my heart but its not mine.