(no subject)
I laugh during the most inappropriate moments.
Awkward during dates.
People mistake my sarcasm for bitchiness.
I’m a morning person.
Grumpy when hungry.
I snore ridiculously.
According to my past, I am completely and irrevocably incapable of keeping a relationship.
As much as I know what I want for my future, I can barely visualize myself with someone special anymore. I am fucked. My heart is fucked. My craving to be with anyone is completely non-existent.
Perhaps I can’t imagine Mr. Man because he doesn’t exist?
As
negative and pessimistic as that sounds, I have this unfaltering
feeling that I don’t have another half to search for. Independence
issues? I’ve always been able to take care of myself. When I finally do
open myself to depend on another, as time passes, I always find myself
dwelling in my own thoughts about our relationship and our problems, and
issues, and why this why that. I don’t know if it’s me that drives the
love away, or if it’s my inability to attract men that actually want to
stick around. Or maybe it’s me? Maybe I drive them away willingly.
Scared of some sort of real commitment, or tying myself down before I
realize my full potential.
I yearn for someone to take me as is.
I want you to know that I trust you unconditionally.
That I don’t like to fight or yell.
I’ll never call you out in front of your friends, or cause some crazy scene.
I’ll be strong for you when you can’t find the strength.
I’ll love you infinitely.
And beyond.
Letting love find me. I refuse to search.
I’ll always be right here.