NaNoWriMo Updates Part Two
Day Twenty-One was the day before traveling, and in packing and movie-watching and the like I only had time for a brief poem:
Make of this what you will:
I looked at you, and thought “I could fall in love with you.”
I looked, and saw your shiny black hair, which I already know is so soft,
And I saw your smile, and the way your eyes express so many feelings
They compel the same response in me.
I saw I could love you.
I already admire your mind, adore your wit and your romanticism,
For, my friend, you are romantic, deny it though you will,
And I could love you even more for the denial.
My soul and body and mind are already yours for the asking,
I could so easily offer up my heart.
And yet...I chose not to love you.
Maybe it was your beloved, upon whose lap you sat.
Maybe it was too complicated, not knowing then that you could love me back.
Maybe it was that I already love you in so many ways, it scares me to take that final step.
Whatever the cause,
I could love you, though I do not. Know this, and be glad.
Day 23 and 24 are a story about Lily and James. It's not very good, but there are bits of it that please me greatly, so I might work on improving it in December. It stretches a bit longer than I intended because I was having trouble with endings, so I'll return to Harry's Secrets today.
Becoming Part of the Pack
Lily paced by the window, restless as she had not been even the night before NEWTs started. She felt full to the brim with a nervous energy, and every time she looked at the sky it got worse. The nearly-full moon...James had told her to watch it, not to let it out of her sight until they came for her. So it remained in the corner of her eye, even as she paced. If Lily didn’t know better, she would have sworn that that was where her extra energy was coming from, the nervousness that was making her feel uncomfortable inside her own skin.
She fiddled with the ring on her left hand. James had given it to her two weeks ago, just before their last exam, in a beautiful clearing in the Forbidden Forest. After that exam, she had spoken to him once, on graduation day eight days later. He had told her to be ready, instructed her as to the day and time, and then disappeared with his friends. She hadn’t heard a word since. It was maddening, pure James Potter she wanted to say, but it wasn’t. James wouldn’t just abandon her.
Remus had told her, at lunch four days ago, that this was necessary and she had to trust him. “Remember when I told you James was really a good person? I was right, wasn’t I? Trust me, this will be worth it, as it was worth it to wait for James to grow up.”
“I’m his fiancée, and he can’t even be bothered to-“
“He can be, but this isn’t about him. It’s about you. Trust me.”
Sirius had taken her dancing three nights ago, and had confirmed the day she was waiting for. “Why do we have to do this? Because we do. Because you have to understand everything that James is, that we all are, before you can be our-his wife.”
“Our what?” Lily had asked, confused and intrigued.
“Our...you’ll see soon enough, my lady.” Sirius spun her.
“Sirius, tell me!” Lily had felt...something pass between them as she said it, and for the first time in day she knew for certain that James was alive, well, and waiting.
Sirius, meanwhile, hesitated. “Not...quite, Lily. Soon, I promise, but not yet.”
She had seen Peter at the Ministry yesterday, on the way to a job interview. He had stuttered and stumbled and denied any knowledge, although she could tell he wanted to tell her. Their preliminary NEWT results had come out, and so they could begin pursuing their career interests. In sixth year, when Lily and James had become friends, she told him that she had broken up with her latest boyfriend when he flat-out told her that he was looking for a wife to sit at home and cook and clean and take care of their children while he pursued a career in the ministry. James had grinned and said “I could never see you sitting at home. It wouldn’t be you, Lily.”
Later, Lily and James had spoken of choosing their careers to fit each other’s schedules. Lily had admitted that if her NEWTs were high enough, she wanted to be an Auror. “I’ll be the one making sure dinner is on the table on time every night, then, won’t I? After all, I intend to have a nine-to-five job.” James had said. Then he’d told her of his interest in the Department of Regulation of Magical Creatures. She wondered if he had gotten the job, if he was interviewing for it yet. He had always been so passionate about the rights of magical creatures in school.
Lily focused on the moon again. It wasn’t full, or she’d be wondering if werewolves were part of the...whatever it was. Would she see James tonight? They’ll come for you, he had said, and Sirius had said “we,” but without specifically saying James.
A howl pierced the night, chilling Lily almost to the bone. Lily wanted James’s arms around her, keeping her warm, or him standing at her back, watching out for her as she did for him. Instead, she walked around this room in her family house, checking locks. She couldn’t leave the room without losing sight of the moon, and they had been very insistent on the moon, so all she could do was stay here and wait.
Footsteps outside her door, and the moon pulled at her. Lily walked towards the window, unable to look away from the silvery light now. It pulsed in her and through her, entrancing her. She could not feel surprise, nor could she pull away, when pair of hands settled on her shoulders, holding her facing forwards. The hands weren’t strong, but steadying.
“Sorry about this, Lily, but this is necessary, since you’re fully human and all,” whispered Peter’s voice. It occurred to Lily to wonder what he meant by “fully human.” Muggle? Or...she was, after all, staring at a not-quite-full moon. Before she could ask, though, she noticed she could hear a set of footprints tramping around the room.
“Who-“
“Moony,” Peter whispered, before he was cut off.
“Lily Evans, you are unclaimed by any pack. Should you desire to belong to ours, and to wed our alpha, you will come with us.” Remus’s voice echoed oddly throughout the room. “Will you follow, and obey the rules of the pack?”
“I will follow,” Lily said, wondering what they expected of her, and what the rules of the pack were. Somehow, though, with the moonlight dancing under her skin, she felt it would be unwise to ask and break the ceremony.
Peter gripped her shoulders tighter, and Lily felt the familiar squeezing feeling of Apparition. Combined with the moonlight, Lily was surprised to find she wasn’t glowing silver when they landed in the midst of the clearing where James proposed to her two weeks before. Peter released her, and when she turned, he was nowhere to be seen. There was only Remus, standing across the clearing, looking at her with his amber eyes. He tilted his head back slightly, then beckoned. “Follow.”
Lily walked towards him, letting him catch her hand and lead her into the forest. The trees, the plants, even Remus glowed with an odd silvery light. The same light danced in her veins, and she felt that if she knew how to use it, she could shape everything in the world with her will. This night, the moonlight, belonged to her.
A rat raced into their path. It was caught in a bush as it ran. The rat struggled, squeaking, and enmeshed itself even more thoroughly in the undergrowth. This was the first animal she had encountered in the Forest tonight, which struck her as odd in a way she couldn’t quite comprehend. The rat resonated with her, with the moonlight in her veins. “Stay still.” Lily told it. It stopped moving almost immediately, and Lily turned to Remus. “Keep an eye out for me, all right?”
Remus nodded, and Lily bent over the rat. She carefully untangled the creature from its bonds, earning herself a few scratches in the process. The rat, however, was worse off, showing a number of large gashes and cuts. She was about to reach for her wand to heal it, when she remembered what Remus had told her. Obey the rules of the pack, and a pack would not have magic at its command. She concentrated on the silvery light, and tore off part of her sleeve. A few quick rips and she had makeshift bandages for the rat. After binding it, she stood and placed it on her shoulder. Glancing at Remus for confirmation that she had done the right thing, she found him still watching their surroundings.
“Where to next, Re-Moony?” Lily asked. Remus looked at her, saw the rat, and nodded while the rat chattered briefly. Then he gestured in the same direction they had been going, catching her hand as before.
The Forest was getting darker, and less light was penetrating the woods. Lily’s pants caught in the undergrowth, and she reflected that it had been a good decision not to wear robes tonight. Robes would catch more often than her pants would, and if they tore, she would be a lot more vulnerable than if she had a slight rip in her jeans.
The quiet of the Forest was suddenly broken, with a spate of growling ahead of them. In the next clearing, Lily found a large black dog, looking like nothing so much as the monstrosity who haunted graveyards and childhood nightmares, dueling with a spider as tall as Lily. Lily felt an imminent sense of danger, even though neither opponent seemed to see her. She turned to Remus, who was watching the scene with interest. He seemed ready to run, but forwards, into the battle. Which one did he intend to help? How could Lily know?
The spider sliced at the dog’s front shoulder with its pincers, and Lily found herself racing into the fight. The dog was hers, even if it was her nightmare, and she would not permit him to be harmed. This time, she didn’t hesitate to pull out her wand, and spat out the fiercest curse she could remember James using on Snape. The spider was knocked against a tree ten meters away, and fell unconscious to the ground. Lily considered the dog. Up close, he looked less like a nightmare and more like a big, cuddly puppy. His eyes were unusual, grey when she had never seen dogs with that color of eyes, but at least they weren’t red. She reached out, stroking its fur.
“Are you all right, dog? Did the spider get you?” She touched the shoulder she had seen the spider swipe at, and found no blood. It must have missed the dog, which was now nudging his head against her leg in a reassuring manner. Lily noticed, oddly enough, that a silver glow remained where she stroked him for several seconds after her hand moved.
“We must go, if we are to finish before moonset,” Remus reminded her. He came forward, and nudged the dog’s opposite shoulder. The dog licked his face almost violently, then sprang up and started running away from them. At the edge of the clearing he stopped, glanced back, and wagged his tail.
Lily had just risen to follow when a large, silvery stag appeared in front of the dog. The stag bowed its head towards her, and after raising it, side-stepped around the dog and strode until it stood in front of her. The dog raced after it, and nudged at Lily’s knees.
“Would you ride?” Remus asked. “The distance is not far, but we shall arrive quicker if you choose to ride.”
Lily was about to say no, she could keep up, but first she reached out and touched the stag’s head. The instant she made contact with him, she was lost. Here was where she belonged, and she could no more deny it than deny her desire to protect and fight for those gathered around her, than she could deny the silver moonlight in her soul.
The group sped up as they raced the moon’s rise through the night. The pounding of the stag’s hooves was the only sound that broken the forest’s quiet. Remus Apparated away the instant Lily mounted. The rat was still perched on her left shoulder, and the dog kept pace, nearly invisible, on the stag’s right side. For a moment, Lily considered the oddity of this scene as it would appear to a student, were one to stumble on them, one that for some reason had not gone home for the summer holidays. The Forest had many things which to the casual observer would appear strange. Lily, surprised, concluded that she had become one such, wearing Muggle garb, with leaves and twigs tangled in her hair and clothing, riding a mythical stag through the Forest at night. It was generally believed that the Forest was hostile to all non-human intruders... “since you’re fully human and all.” Was the purpose of this to make her something other than human?
Myths and legends raced through her mind, stories of the Wild Hunt and of humans enticed into the woods by faeries, never to return. Remus was the last human, or at least human-shaped, thing she had encountered, and the faeries of myth were known to take human or near-human forms. She had never seen his eyes that yellow...it had been a long time since Peter disappeared. Lily shivered, and heard the dog whine at her. The pounding hooves now sounded like drumbeats, leading her to her doom....
And then they broke into a new clearing, and the moonlight struck her face and washed her fear away. The hoof beats began to echo like bells, recalling the sound of the bells at her sister’s wedding to Vernon Dursley three months past. In comparison to this, those bells were cracked and dull. Lily could also feel the moonlight in the dog’s paws striking the ground, could sense that they were exactly in time with the stag’s hooves. Suddenly there were not four individuals racing through the night, but only one, bound by moonlight to each other and their goal not far ahead.
She was not surprised, therefore, when they rounded a clump of trees to find Remus, standing by a silvery pool, glowing with the moonlight. Lily slipped off the stag’s back, and the rat skittered down her arm. All three animals, with Remus, formed a circle around her.
“Lily Evans, do you swear to defend James Potter and his pack, and to fight alongside us in the war to come?” Remus asked. Lily remembered, before she dated James, Remus assuring her that Potter was a good friend and a good person. The look on his face, devoted and slightly mysterious, was the same as the look he had now.
“What or who comprises James’s pack?” Lily asked, as sure now has she had felt then that there was some sort of catch. Remus looked like he was hiding something.
“James Potter is followed by Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. We do not ask that you do things that are illegal, merely that you protect the pack’s secrets that are revealed to you henceforth.”
The secret...Lily had a feeling it had to do with the moonlight and whatever reason for which there was no magic in this ritual, other than that which she had used to drive off the spider. Her soul longed to belong to this secret, whatever it was that bound her fiancé and his best friends . Fear of fairies and darkness and the like fled her mind. “Yes, I so swear. I will defend and protect all of you.”
Remus smiled wryly, turning his head to look where Lily knew the stag stood. “Then James has chosen well.” He looked back at Lily. “Welcome, Lily, and see the truth.” He gestured around the circle, and Lily turned.
Where the dog had been crouched Sirius Black, grass tangled in his hair, his robes torn at the shoulder where the spider struck. He rose and offered his rakish grin that had never made Lily swoon, though it had worked its magic on others. “Congratulations, Lily.”
Continuing to turn, Lily saw the spot where the rat had rested. Peter was leaning against the tree. “Hello, Evans.” He went back to casting healing spells-his robes were ripped in several places, and where moonlight struck the rips, blood stains could be seen. Lily made a move towards him, to heal him, but he finished healing himself before she took more than a step forward. Knowing what to expect by now, Lily turned towards the final corner.
James stood where the stag had posed, as regal and proud as his animal form. When he caught Lily’s gaze, a shy, hopeful smile appeared on his face for a moment, then left almost as rapidly as it had come. Lily stumbled forward, finding herself in James’s arms. “I love you,” he whispered, and kissed her.
The couple broke apart a while later, when Lily heard a cough from one of the other three. That reminded her. “What about Remus? If the three of you are Animagi, then...”
“Three guesses, Lily, and the first two don’t count,” Sirius responded.
Lily turned, still in James’s arms, and looked at Remus. She wanted to ask, but here, in the moonlight, she knew the truth without question. Suddenly, it was obvious why he had led this moonlit ceremony, how he had known what words to say. “You’re a werewolf.”
Remus nodded. His expression had turned fearful, and Lily suddenly understood why he’d held back from others for so long and why he prized James and Sirius and their friendship so highly.
“Remus...I’m so sorry...and then I assume the rest of you are Animagi because of Remus? That it somehow makes a difference in the transformation?”
James nodded on her shoulder. “I-we’re there with Remus, each full moon. We keep him from hurting himself, love, and I can’t abandon him.”
“James-” Remus interrupted.
“No, Remus, don’t. This is why we needed to tell Lily.” At James’s voice, Remus lowered his eyes. James continued. “We’re going to meet up, every full moon, and if you can’t handle that, Lils-”
“Why would I object? I fell in love with you on Remus’s say-so, James Potter, I’m hardly going to ditch you because you care for your friends. In fact, it explains some things rather well.” Lily turned back around, and let herself melt into James. The pair of lovers scarcely heard the other three taking their leave, or saw the moonlight shining around them. They were too lost in themselves, and the night.
Over the next weeks and months, Lily learned what it meant to be the alpha of a werewolf’s pack. She learned basic healing spells faster than any of her other classmates in Auror training. She began to schedule her life around full moons, and furnished excuses for her pack on full moon nights. She found that one of the three would be at her side whenever a mission turned wrong, either a Ministry mission or one for the Order, and that when she had a pack mate watching her back, he was sure to fight as she needed him to, and the fight would be won.
And then she became pregnant. James would suddenly say, in the middle of a conversation about anything else, “I’m going to be a father.” He went around with a goofy grin on his face, and was so overprotective that Lily feared for a time he would make her stop fighting until the baby was born. This was when she learned a new side of pack.
Remus worked with her to create wards so that the baby would be protected from spells while they fought. He came over regularly to make sure that Lily was eating all right, and Lily would have become angry at the mothering if she hadn’t been using the situation as an excuse to make sure he was eating properly. He would eat whatever she fed him, as long as she insisted that he needed to keep his strength up to defend the baby. For him, the baby was the pack’s child, the only offspring Remus could ever have and yet the only one Moony ever needed. He would die to defend James and Lily’s child, because they were his alphas, and so their children were his.
Peter, by contrast, could have children if there were a girl in sight who could take his devotion from James. He didn’t seem quite able to understand that there was a baby along the way, and would give Lily’s belly confused looks, but he went out and got baby books and attempted to follow the instructions, though a bit distractedly. He wasn’t used to the idea of “baby” yet, though he was trying, but Lily and James were sure that he would figure it out, along with the rest of the pack, when the baby was born.
Sirius had foresworn offspring the instant he left home, according to James. Apparently this was part of what had finally settled the question of alpha vs. beta between the two of them, because the alpha was expected to eventually have children for the pack-“not that that’s why we’re having this kid, of course, Lil, but more that they are expected not to without permission.” However, as beta, he was expected to be the child’s godfather. His, jointly with Lily, was the care of the pack if James died, so his was the responsibility for the alpha’s children if something happened to James and Lily. From stories he told Lily in the early months, Sirius had had a very odd experience growing up. He loved the coming child because it was James’s, and was devoted to it because it was the pack’s, but Lily wasn’t sure that she wanted this man in charge of her child’s welfare.
Until she went into labor, on a hot July night three days before the baby was due, and Sirius arrived the instant he knew what was wrong. James was on a mission for Dumbledore, due back tomorrow, and Remus was incommunicado until Thursday, and Peter was helping his mother, who had suddenly fallen ill. Sirius apparated Lily to the hospital, and refused to leave her side throughout the process. When midnight struck welcoming a new day, it also welcomed Lily’s son, Harry Potter. Sirius was the first person to hold him, and the light in Sirius’s eyes as he cradled the tiny baby in his arms convinced Lily more than any other argument had that he would hold the child more dearly than his own soul.
James arrived minutes later, having finished early when he realized his son was being born. Remus was hot on his heels, and Peter arrived with the dawn. Together, the four men and one woman looked on at the baby who was the future of their pack. It was the last time the pack was truly together, feeling the moonlight shining between them even in daylight. In the days and weeks after, the moonlight would be darkened, but now, for a moment, there was peace.
And that brings us up to today. More postage will occur later today, or perhaps tomorrow, but for now, enjoy the above offerings.
Make of this what you will:
I looked at you, and thought “I could fall in love with you.”
I looked, and saw your shiny black hair, which I already know is so soft,
And I saw your smile, and the way your eyes express so many feelings
They compel the same response in me.
I saw I could love you.
I already admire your mind, adore your wit and your romanticism,
For, my friend, you are romantic, deny it though you will,
And I could love you even more for the denial.
My soul and body and mind are already yours for the asking,
I could so easily offer up my heart.
And yet...I chose not to love you.
Maybe it was your beloved, upon whose lap you sat.
Maybe it was too complicated, not knowing then that you could love me back.
Maybe it was that I already love you in so many ways, it scares me to take that final step.
Whatever the cause,
I could love you, though I do not. Know this, and be glad.
Day 23 and 24 are a story about Lily and James. It's not very good, but there are bits of it that please me greatly, so I might work on improving it in December. It stretches a bit longer than I intended because I was having trouble with endings, so I'll return to Harry's Secrets today.
Becoming Part of the Pack
Lily paced by the window, restless as she had not been even the night before NEWTs started. She felt full to the brim with a nervous energy, and every time she looked at the sky it got worse. The nearly-full moon...James had told her to watch it, not to let it out of her sight until they came for her. So it remained in the corner of her eye, even as she paced. If Lily didn’t know better, she would have sworn that that was where her extra energy was coming from, the nervousness that was making her feel uncomfortable inside her own skin.
She fiddled with the ring on her left hand. James had given it to her two weeks ago, just before their last exam, in a beautiful clearing in the Forbidden Forest. After that exam, she had spoken to him once, on graduation day eight days later. He had told her to be ready, instructed her as to the day and time, and then disappeared with his friends. She hadn’t heard a word since. It was maddening, pure James Potter she wanted to say, but it wasn’t. James wouldn’t just abandon her.
Remus had told her, at lunch four days ago, that this was necessary and she had to trust him. “Remember when I told you James was really a good person? I was right, wasn’t I? Trust me, this will be worth it, as it was worth it to wait for James to grow up.”
“I’m his fiancée, and he can’t even be bothered to-“
“He can be, but this isn’t about him. It’s about you. Trust me.”
Sirius had taken her dancing three nights ago, and had confirmed the day she was waiting for. “Why do we have to do this? Because we do. Because you have to understand everything that James is, that we all are, before you can be our-his wife.”
“Our what?” Lily had asked, confused and intrigued.
“Our...you’ll see soon enough, my lady.” Sirius spun her.
“Sirius, tell me!” Lily had felt...something pass between them as she said it, and for the first time in day she knew for certain that James was alive, well, and waiting.
Sirius, meanwhile, hesitated. “Not...quite, Lily. Soon, I promise, but not yet.”
She had seen Peter at the Ministry yesterday, on the way to a job interview. He had stuttered and stumbled and denied any knowledge, although she could tell he wanted to tell her. Their preliminary NEWT results had come out, and so they could begin pursuing their career interests. In sixth year, when Lily and James had become friends, she told him that she had broken up with her latest boyfriend when he flat-out told her that he was looking for a wife to sit at home and cook and clean and take care of their children while he pursued a career in the ministry. James had grinned and said “I could never see you sitting at home. It wouldn’t be you, Lily.”
Later, Lily and James had spoken of choosing their careers to fit each other’s schedules. Lily had admitted that if her NEWTs were high enough, she wanted to be an Auror. “I’ll be the one making sure dinner is on the table on time every night, then, won’t I? After all, I intend to have a nine-to-five job.” James had said. Then he’d told her of his interest in the Department of Regulation of Magical Creatures. She wondered if he had gotten the job, if he was interviewing for it yet. He had always been so passionate about the rights of magical creatures in school.
Lily focused on the moon again. It wasn’t full, or she’d be wondering if werewolves were part of the...whatever it was. Would she see James tonight? They’ll come for you, he had said, and Sirius had said “we,” but without specifically saying James.
A howl pierced the night, chilling Lily almost to the bone. Lily wanted James’s arms around her, keeping her warm, or him standing at her back, watching out for her as she did for him. Instead, she walked around this room in her family house, checking locks. She couldn’t leave the room without losing sight of the moon, and they had been very insistent on the moon, so all she could do was stay here and wait.
Footsteps outside her door, and the moon pulled at her. Lily walked towards the window, unable to look away from the silvery light now. It pulsed in her and through her, entrancing her. She could not feel surprise, nor could she pull away, when pair of hands settled on her shoulders, holding her facing forwards. The hands weren’t strong, but steadying.
“Sorry about this, Lily, but this is necessary, since you’re fully human and all,” whispered Peter’s voice. It occurred to Lily to wonder what he meant by “fully human.” Muggle? Or...she was, after all, staring at a not-quite-full moon. Before she could ask, though, she noticed she could hear a set of footprints tramping around the room.
“Who-“
“Moony,” Peter whispered, before he was cut off.
“Lily Evans, you are unclaimed by any pack. Should you desire to belong to ours, and to wed our alpha, you will come with us.” Remus’s voice echoed oddly throughout the room. “Will you follow, and obey the rules of the pack?”
“I will follow,” Lily said, wondering what they expected of her, and what the rules of the pack were. Somehow, though, with the moonlight dancing under her skin, she felt it would be unwise to ask and break the ceremony.
Peter gripped her shoulders tighter, and Lily felt the familiar squeezing feeling of Apparition. Combined with the moonlight, Lily was surprised to find she wasn’t glowing silver when they landed in the midst of the clearing where James proposed to her two weeks before. Peter released her, and when she turned, he was nowhere to be seen. There was only Remus, standing across the clearing, looking at her with his amber eyes. He tilted his head back slightly, then beckoned. “Follow.”
Lily walked towards him, letting him catch her hand and lead her into the forest. The trees, the plants, even Remus glowed with an odd silvery light. The same light danced in her veins, and she felt that if she knew how to use it, she could shape everything in the world with her will. This night, the moonlight, belonged to her.
A rat raced into their path. It was caught in a bush as it ran. The rat struggled, squeaking, and enmeshed itself even more thoroughly in the undergrowth. This was the first animal she had encountered in the Forest tonight, which struck her as odd in a way she couldn’t quite comprehend. The rat resonated with her, with the moonlight in her veins. “Stay still.” Lily told it. It stopped moving almost immediately, and Lily turned to Remus. “Keep an eye out for me, all right?”
Remus nodded, and Lily bent over the rat. She carefully untangled the creature from its bonds, earning herself a few scratches in the process. The rat, however, was worse off, showing a number of large gashes and cuts. She was about to reach for her wand to heal it, when she remembered what Remus had told her. Obey the rules of the pack, and a pack would not have magic at its command. She concentrated on the silvery light, and tore off part of her sleeve. A few quick rips and she had makeshift bandages for the rat. After binding it, she stood and placed it on her shoulder. Glancing at Remus for confirmation that she had done the right thing, she found him still watching their surroundings.
“Where to next, Re-Moony?” Lily asked. Remus looked at her, saw the rat, and nodded while the rat chattered briefly. Then he gestured in the same direction they had been going, catching her hand as before.
The Forest was getting darker, and less light was penetrating the woods. Lily’s pants caught in the undergrowth, and she reflected that it had been a good decision not to wear robes tonight. Robes would catch more often than her pants would, and if they tore, she would be a lot more vulnerable than if she had a slight rip in her jeans.
The quiet of the Forest was suddenly broken, with a spate of growling ahead of them. In the next clearing, Lily found a large black dog, looking like nothing so much as the monstrosity who haunted graveyards and childhood nightmares, dueling with a spider as tall as Lily. Lily felt an imminent sense of danger, even though neither opponent seemed to see her. She turned to Remus, who was watching the scene with interest. He seemed ready to run, but forwards, into the battle. Which one did he intend to help? How could Lily know?
The spider sliced at the dog’s front shoulder with its pincers, and Lily found herself racing into the fight. The dog was hers, even if it was her nightmare, and she would not permit him to be harmed. This time, she didn’t hesitate to pull out her wand, and spat out the fiercest curse she could remember James using on Snape. The spider was knocked against a tree ten meters away, and fell unconscious to the ground. Lily considered the dog. Up close, he looked less like a nightmare and more like a big, cuddly puppy. His eyes were unusual, grey when she had never seen dogs with that color of eyes, but at least they weren’t red. She reached out, stroking its fur.
“Are you all right, dog? Did the spider get you?” She touched the shoulder she had seen the spider swipe at, and found no blood. It must have missed the dog, which was now nudging his head against her leg in a reassuring manner. Lily noticed, oddly enough, that a silver glow remained where she stroked him for several seconds after her hand moved.
“We must go, if we are to finish before moonset,” Remus reminded her. He came forward, and nudged the dog’s opposite shoulder. The dog licked his face almost violently, then sprang up and started running away from them. At the edge of the clearing he stopped, glanced back, and wagged his tail.
Lily had just risen to follow when a large, silvery stag appeared in front of the dog. The stag bowed its head towards her, and after raising it, side-stepped around the dog and strode until it stood in front of her. The dog raced after it, and nudged at Lily’s knees.
“Would you ride?” Remus asked. “The distance is not far, but we shall arrive quicker if you choose to ride.”
Lily was about to say no, she could keep up, but first she reached out and touched the stag’s head. The instant she made contact with him, she was lost. Here was where she belonged, and she could no more deny it than deny her desire to protect and fight for those gathered around her, than she could deny the silver moonlight in her soul.
The group sped up as they raced the moon’s rise through the night. The pounding of the stag’s hooves was the only sound that broken the forest’s quiet. Remus Apparated away the instant Lily mounted. The rat was still perched on her left shoulder, and the dog kept pace, nearly invisible, on the stag’s right side. For a moment, Lily considered the oddity of this scene as it would appear to a student, were one to stumble on them, one that for some reason had not gone home for the summer holidays. The Forest had many things which to the casual observer would appear strange. Lily, surprised, concluded that she had become one such, wearing Muggle garb, with leaves and twigs tangled in her hair and clothing, riding a mythical stag through the Forest at night. It was generally believed that the Forest was hostile to all non-human intruders... “since you’re fully human and all.” Was the purpose of this to make her something other than human?
Myths and legends raced through her mind, stories of the Wild Hunt and of humans enticed into the woods by faeries, never to return. Remus was the last human, or at least human-shaped, thing she had encountered, and the faeries of myth were known to take human or near-human forms. She had never seen his eyes that yellow...it had been a long time since Peter disappeared. Lily shivered, and heard the dog whine at her. The pounding hooves now sounded like drumbeats, leading her to her doom....
And then they broke into a new clearing, and the moonlight struck her face and washed her fear away. The hoof beats began to echo like bells, recalling the sound of the bells at her sister’s wedding to Vernon Dursley three months past. In comparison to this, those bells were cracked and dull. Lily could also feel the moonlight in the dog’s paws striking the ground, could sense that they were exactly in time with the stag’s hooves. Suddenly there were not four individuals racing through the night, but only one, bound by moonlight to each other and their goal not far ahead.
She was not surprised, therefore, when they rounded a clump of trees to find Remus, standing by a silvery pool, glowing with the moonlight. Lily slipped off the stag’s back, and the rat skittered down her arm. All three animals, with Remus, formed a circle around her.
“Lily Evans, do you swear to defend James Potter and his pack, and to fight alongside us in the war to come?” Remus asked. Lily remembered, before she dated James, Remus assuring her that Potter was a good friend and a good person. The look on his face, devoted and slightly mysterious, was the same as the look he had now.
“What or who comprises James’s pack?” Lily asked, as sure now has she had felt then that there was some sort of catch. Remus looked like he was hiding something.
“James Potter is followed by Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. We do not ask that you do things that are illegal, merely that you protect the pack’s secrets that are revealed to you henceforth.”
The secret...Lily had a feeling it had to do with the moonlight and whatever reason for which there was no magic in this ritual, other than that which she had used to drive off the spider. Her soul longed to belong to this secret, whatever it was that bound her fiancé and his best friends . Fear of fairies and darkness and the like fled her mind. “Yes, I so swear. I will defend and protect all of you.”
Remus smiled wryly, turning his head to look where Lily knew the stag stood. “Then James has chosen well.” He looked back at Lily. “Welcome, Lily, and see the truth.” He gestured around the circle, and Lily turned.
Where the dog had been crouched Sirius Black, grass tangled in his hair, his robes torn at the shoulder where the spider struck. He rose and offered his rakish grin that had never made Lily swoon, though it had worked its magic on others. “Congratulations, Lily.”
Continuing to turn, Lily saw the spot where the rat had rested. Peter was leaning against the tree. “Hello, Evans.” He went back to casting healing spells-his robes were ripped in several places, and where moonlight struck the rips, blood stains could be seen. Lily made a move towards him, to heal him, but he finished healing himself before she took more than a step forward. Knowing what to expect by now, Lily turned towards the final corner.
James stood where the stag had posed, as regal and proud as his animal form. When he caught Lily’s gaze, a shy, hopeful smile appeared on his face for a moment, then left almost as rapidly as it had come. Lily stumbled forward, finding herself in James’s arms. “I love you,” he whispered, and kissed her.
The couple broke apart a while later, when Lily heard a cough from one of the other three. That reminded her. “What about Remus? If the three of you are Animagi, then...”
“Three guesses, Lily, and the first two don’t count,” Sirius responded.
Lily turned, still in James’s arms, and looked at Remus. She wanted to ask, but here, in the moonlight, she knew the truth without question. Suddenly, it was obvious why he had led this moonlit ceremony, how he had known what words to say. “You’re a werewolf.”
Remus nodded. His expression had turned fearful, and Lily suddenly understood why he’d held back from others for so long and why he prized James and Sirius and their friendship so highly.
“Remus...I’m so sorry...and then I assume the rest of you are Animagi because of Remus? That it somehow makes a difference in the transformation?”
James nodded on her shoulder. “I-we’re there with Remus, each full moon. We keep him from hurting himself, love, and I can’t abandon him.”
“James-” Remus interrupted.
“No, Remus, don’t. This is why we needed to tell Lily.” At James’s voice, Remus lowered his eyes. James continued. “We’re going to meet up, every full moon, and if you can’t handle that, Lils-”
“Why would I object? I fell in love with you on Remus’s say-so, James Potter, I’m hardly going to ditch you because you care for your friends. In fact, it explains some things rather well.” Lily turned back around, and let herself melt into James. The pair of lovers scarcely heard the other three taking their leave, or saw the moonlight shining around them. They were too lost in themselves, and the night.
Over the next weeks and months, Lily learned what it meant to be the alpha of a werewolf’s pack. She learned basic healing spells faster than any of her other classmates in Auror training. She began to schedule her life around full moons, and furnished excuses for her pack on full moon nights. She found that one of the three would be at her side whenever a mission turned wrong, either a Ministry mission or one for the Order, and that when she had a pack mate watching her back, he was sure to fight as she needed him to, and the fight would be won.
And then she became pregnant. James would suddenly say, in the middle of a conversation about anything else, “I’m going to be a father.” He went around with a goofy grin on his face, and was so overprotective that Lily feared for a time he would make her stop fighting until the baby was born. This was when she learned a new side of pack.
Remus worked with her to create wards so that the baby would be protected from spells while they fought. He came over regularly to make sure that Lily was eating all right, and Lily would have become angry at the mothering if she hadn’t been using the situation as an excuse to make sure he was eating properly. He would eat whatever she fed him, as long as she insisted that he needed to keep his strength up to defend the baby. For him, the baby was the pack’s child, the only offspring Remus could ever have and yet the only one Moony ever needed. He would die to defend James and Lily’s child, because they were his alphas, and so their children were his.
Peter, by contrast, could have children if there were a girl in sight who could take his devotion from James. He didn’t seem quite able to understand that there was a baby along the way, and would give Lily’s belly confused looks, but he went out and got baby books and attempted to follow the instructions, though a bit distractedly. He wasn’t used to the idea of “baby” yet, though he was trying, but Lily and James were sure that he would figure it out, along with the rest of the pack, when the baby was born.
Sirius had foresworn offspring the instant he left home, according to James. Apparently this was part of what had finally settled the question of alpha vs. beta between the two of them, because the alpha was expected to eventually have children for the pack-“not that that’s why we’re having this kid, of course, Lil, but more that they are expected not to without permission.” However, as beta, he was expected to be the child’s godfather. His, jointly with Lily, was the care of the pack if James died, so his was the responsibility for the alpha’s children if something happened to James and Lily. From stories he told Lily in the early months, Sirius had had a very odd experience growing up. He loved the coming child because it was James’s, and was devoted to it because it was the pack’s, but Lily wasn’t sure that she wanted this man in charge of her child’s welfare.
Until she went into labor, on a hot July night three days before the baby was due, and Sirius arrived the instant he knew what was wrong. James was on a mission for Dumbledore, due back tomorrow, and Remus was incommunicado until Thursday, and Peter was helping his mother, who had suddenly fallen ill. Sirius apparated Lily to the hospital, and refused to leave her side throughout the process. When midnight struck welcoming a new day, it also welcomed Lily’s son, Harry Potter. Sirius was the first person to hold him, and the light in Sirius’s eyes as he cradled the tiny baby in his arms convinced Lily more than any other argument had that he would hold the child more dearly than his own soul.
James arrived minutes later, having finished early when he realized his son was being born. Remus was hot on his heels, and Peter arrived with the dawn. Together, the four men and one woman looked on at the baby who was the future of their pack. It was the last time the pack was truly together, feeling the moonlight shining between them even in daylight. In the days and weeks after, the moonlight would be darkened, but now, for a moment, there was peace.
And that brings us up to today. More postage will occur later today, or perhaps tomorrow, but for now, enjoy the above offerings.