sinewy biceps and shirts that just won't button
well, i sure did have that baby.
before i begin, let me just say that i miss livejournal and its air of secret socializing.
but, yes, it's been some span of time since i've sat down to a posting. but i have been writing some, most significantly my inchoate ideas for getting my dissertation underway but for real.
yes, the baby. she decided to arrive 10 days earlier than christmas, on december 15th, when it was still hannakuh, and indeed! when the midwife showed up, the little wreath i'd hung on the door fell down and broke, as if to all the further assert "i'm not a christmas baby, i'm a hannakuh baby". we sometimes think of her as jewishnaabek (jewish + anishinaabek).
the night before i went in for a prenatal massage. gabriel had been given a flier that offered 1 1/2 hours for only $65 student rate. (whatever will i do when i'm just poor and not a poor student?) the massage was gooood, and i settled down to a typical 10pm bedtime, because i was tired that way, though fortunately enough i'd been able to get at least eight hours a night throughout my pregnancy. i credit yoga and a tempurpedic mattress. around 4am or so i woke up to backpain that emanated its way forward. i couldn't understand it! why would i have backpain after just having had a massage? it kept coming. i couldn't fathom it! i hadn't finished her blanket yet (still haven't alas). at around 5:30 am i got out of bed to see what a shower might do. she was way lower in my belly, leading me to conjecture that perhaps these were just more "practice contractions" that felt different because she was sitting so much lower. well, they kept coming at regular intervals.
so i woke up gabriel, saying "i think something is really happening"
"what? are you having a baby right now? omygodomygodomygod'
i told him he had to be calm, and he was from then on. stellar, really!
so i went downstairs and called the midwife who said to call her in 3 hours or so if the contractions were still regular and getting stronger. in the meantime i wrote down the times of their arrival, and mostly squatted here and there to get through them. also, i chopped up a bunch of veggies and made them into soup, thinking that i would be hungry later if i had a long labor ahead of me. gabriel took nitaawe to school with the promise that we would retrieve her if it was all for real. it was. the contractions were stronger and stronger, so i called stacia and she said she'd be here in an hour and a half or so. gabriel started setting up the birthing pool. i kept wandering and kneeling and squatting and breathing deep. stacia and gabreil's sister both arrived around 11am. rebecca went to get nitaawe. we kept adding hot water to the pool to get it ready. after a bit i asked stacia whether she ever checked for dilation. she said she would if i wanted her too, which i did, because that seems like an impossible thing not to be curious about - how much progress have i made/ how much further do i have to g? i was hoping for a good 3 or 4 centimeters dilation, but when she checked i was already at 6, and could stretch out to 8. woot! that meant i was nearly at transition, with 10 being the last step before the actual birth descent. she said i could get in the pool whenever i liked. i decided to goo pee one last time, why not? the baby was hiccuping.
i got in the pool and it was GLORIOUS. warm warm water to float about in. it was snowing softly and beautifully out the window. we were listening to billie holiday. in the other room, stacia was knitting, her helper mandy was reading, nitaawe and rebecca were playing twister, and gabriel was staying near me, saying sweet things and giving me sips of juice and tea.
there was major pain, of course, but once the hard contractions passed, it was a relief to collect my wits in the water. after a bit, my body started making me push, which i informed mandy of. after a few more contractions, i began vocalizing a bit. i heard stacia say "i hear a baby about to be born". she, mandy and gabriel came in the room and stood by. i heard her say to gabriel, "you may want to roll your sleeves up". he toldme later that he though "yeah, right, this is going to be hours yet, isn't it?" well, she made her way down, and i relaxed as best as i could to let her head come out slowly. that's a wild feeling, let me assure any still unterrified enough to still be reading. once her head was birthed, i heard stacia say "she thinks she's still being born, because of the water". meanign the baby. gabriel said "her eyes are open. she is beautiful". nitaawe told me later that i yelled "thrice". next her shoulders and little body. she was born into the water. i could feel her slip out. it is pretty fantastic once those legs pass over. a relief beyond communication. i'd stepped into the pool around 12:15pm, and she was born at 1:10pm. gabriel caught her up out of the water, and she gave a good cry. they passed her to me under my leg, since her cord was pretty short (and thick - mainlining!). we sat in the water for a bit as i collected myself. gabriel cut the cord. he took her as i got out of the pool to dry off and lay down on the couch. Pearl! she nursed for a good hour and a half, with her eyes wide open. it was altogether smooth and safe and just so. they all said i made it look easy. and i guess it sort of is, if you are around people who allow you to trust your body and the baby to know what to do.
she was 7pounds 5 ounces. 21 inches.
as of last friday, she was 9pounds6ounces and 21 1/2 inches. sweet and plump. she sleeps at night and has her awake fun time in the day. a genius it would so appear. she likes to dance. thanks to me, she has baby pattern baldness, since i was bald baby to be sure and gabriel and her sister both had full heads of hair that they kept. she is a real cute girl. we've brought her out in public three times. the people swoon. one lady said "what a beautiful baby, and they're not all pretty, you know." she has a lot of personality and is pleasant and polite. we believe she's been smiling since about day 2, but so far just at her own jokes.
if i was more computer literate, i sure would put up a picture. one of these days maybe.
before i begin, let me just say that i miss livejournal and its air of secret socializing.
but, yes, it's been some span of time since i've sat down to a posting. but i have been writing some, most significantly my inchoate ideas for getting my dissertation underway but for real.
yes, the baby. she decided to arrive 10 days earlier than christmas, on december 15th, when it was still hannakuh, and indeed! when the midwife showed up, the little wreath i'd hung on the door fell down and broke, as if to all the further assert "i'm not a christmas baby, i'm a hannakuh baby". we sometimes think of her as jewishnaabek (jewish + anishinaabek).
the night before i went in for a prenatal massage. gabriel had been given a flier that offered 1 1/2 hours for only $65 student rate. (whatever will i do when i'm just poor and not a poor student?) the massage was gooood, and i settled down to a typical 10pm bedtime, because i was tired that way, though fortunately enough i'd been able to get at least eight hours a night throughout my pregnancy. i credit yoga and a tempurpedic mattress. around 4am or so i woke up to backpain that emanated its way forward. i couldn't understand it! why would i have backpain after just having had a massage? it kept coming. i couldn't fathom it! i hadn't finished her blanket yet (still haven't alas). at around 5:30 am i got out of bed to see what a shower might do. she was way lower in my belly, leading me to conjecture that perhaps these were just more "practice contractions" that felt different because she was sitting so much lower. well, they kept coming at regular intervals.
so i woke up gabriel, saying "i think something is really happening"
"what? are you having a baby right now? omygodomygodomygod'
i told him he had to be calm, and he was from then on. stellar, really!
so i went downstairs and called the midwife who said to call her in 3 hours or so if the contractions were still regular and getting stronger. in the meantime i wrote down the times of their arrival, and mostly squatted here and there to get through them. also, i chopped up a bunch of veggies and made them into soup, thinking that i would be hungry later if i had a long labor ahead of me. gabriel took nitaawe to school with the promise that we would retrieve her if it was all for real. it was. the contractions were stronger and stronger, so i called stacia and she said she'd be here in an hour and a half or so. gabriel started setting up the birthing pool. i kept wandering and kneeling and squatting and breathing deep. stacia and gabreil's sister both arrived around 11am. rebecca went to get nitaawe. we kept adding hot water to the pool to get it ready. after a bit i asked stacia whether she ever checked for dilation. she said she would if i wanted her too, which i did, because that seems like an impossible thing not to be curious about - how much progress have i made/ how much further do i have to g? i was hoping for a good 3 or 4 centimeters dilation, but when she checked i was already at 6, and could stretch out to 8. woot! that meant i was nearly at transition, with 10 being the last step before the actual birth descent. she said i could get in the pool whenever i liked. i decided to goo pee one last time, why not? the baby was hiccuping.
i got in the pool and it was GLORIOUS. warm warm water to float about in. it was snowing softly and beautifully out the window. we were listening to billie holiday. in the other room, stacia was knitting, her helper mandy was reading, nitaawe and rebecca were playing twister, and gabriel was staying near me, saying sweet things and giving me sips of juice and tea.
there was major pain, of course, but once the hard contractions passed, it was a relief to collect my wits in the water. after a bit, my body started making me push, which i informed mandy of. after a few more contractions, i began vocalizing a bit. i heard stacia say "i hear a baby about to be born". she, mandy and gabriel came in the room and stood by. i heard her say to gabriel, "you may want to roll your sleeves up". he toldme later that he though "yeah, right, this is going to be hours yet, isn't it?" well, she made her way down, and i relaxed as best as i could to let her head come out slowly. that's a wild feeling, let me assure any still unterrified enough to still be reading. once her head was birthed, i heard stacia say "she thinks she's still being born, because of the water". meanign the baby. gabriel said "her eyes are open. she is beautiful". nitaawe told me later that i yelled "thrice". next her shoulders and little body. she was born into the water. i could feel her slip out. it is pretty fantastic once those legs pass over. a relief beyond communication. i'd stepped into the pool around 12:15pm, and she was born at 1:10pm. gabriel caught her up out of the water, and she gave a good cry. they passed her to me under my leg, since her cord was pretty short (and thick - mainlining!). we sat in the water for a bit as i collected myself. gabriel cut the cord. he took her as i got out of the pool to dry off and lay down on the couch. Pearl! she nursed for a good hour and a half, with her eyes wide open. it was altogether smooth and safe and just so. they all said i made it look easy. and i guess it sort of is, if you are around people who allow you to trust your body and the baby to know what to do.
she was 7pounds 5 ounces. 21 inches.
as of last friday, she was 9pounds6ounces and 21 1/2 inches. sweet and plump. she sleeps at night and has her awake fun time in the day. a genius it would so appear. she likes to dance. thanks to me, she has baby pattern baldness, since i was bald baby to be sure and gabriel and her sister both had full heads of hair that they kept. she is a real cute girl. we've brought her out in public three times. the people swoon. one lady said "what a beautiful baby, and they're not all pretty, you know." she has a lot of personality and is pleasant and polite. we believe she's been smiling since about day 2, but so far just at her own jokes.
if i was more computer literate, i sure would put up a picture. one of these days maybe.