And again...
Bit bored so I thought I'd post another journal...I'm hoping that two entries in one day doesn't mean that I'm going to lose interest very quickly. It's Sunday night and I'm back to work in the morning, bleh! Friday is my day off but there's something about Mondays off that really appeals to me...I think it's because it gives me more time to recover after the invariable weekend nights out. Even if I'm not drinking I'm still pretty wrecked on Sundays.
This weekend I had a christening yesterday. A girl who was in college with me had a baby in April and he was Christened yesterday. It was my first time seeing Baby Ryan and he's just such a handsome baby. Kind of makes me broody in the way that I want the whole little family unit. Of course, that's skipping way ahead because I find it difficult to find someone to be a little couple unit with. I don't know what it is but the guys I really like aren't capable or aren't ready for relationships or don't seem to have the time...all I want is someone that I can be happy with, be myself with and not have any major complications.
Last night I met up with Neilus, one of my very good friends, who happens to be an ex-flame as well, or at least that's how I'll put it. He was going out with a girl, C, for a couple of years and basically in that time I backed away from my friendship with Neilus because I knew that C hated me and I didn't want to complicate things for him. But they broke up while I was in Australia and since I've been home we've met up a few times and it's interesting and confusing to find that the connection that we had 4 years ago is still very much there. I feel safe with him, and comfortable. In a way, Neilus is the person I am closest to, he's the person that I can be all of me with. I find it hard to let down my guard with people, to let them see everything, even with my best friends, I tend to keep something back. But with Neilus I never do. It's wierd, after 4 years to be able to go back to being just as close.
So far we've kissed a couple of times, last night being one of those times. He says he's not ready for more after C, even though he wishes he was, and while part of me wants to wait for him, I don't know if we'll ever both be in the same place at the same time. I can honestly see myself with Neilus in the future though.
I've also been on a couple of dates with a guy called Rob, who I only met a couple of weeks ago. He's a lovely guy and I could see myself falling for him, except he genuinely doesn't seem to have th time for a girlfriend at the moment, so it looks like it's going nowhere unless I hang around til next year when he's finished his masters in computer networking.
And then there's Roy - who I met six weeks before I went to Australia, who I spent 9 months pining after while I was there, and who broke my heart when I came home, well I basically got down and dirty in his parent's kitchen with him last week...and I haven't heard from the prick since.
At the moment either celibacy or lesbianism is looking like the best option!
This weekend I had a christening yesterday. A girl who was in college with me had a baby in April and he was Christened yesterday. It was my first time seeing Baby Ryan and he's just such a handsome baby. Kind of makes me broody in the way that I want the whole little family unit. Of course, that's skipping way ahead because I find it difficult to find someone to be a little couple unit with. I don't know what it is but the guys I really like aren't capable or aren't ready for relationships or don't seem to have the time...all I want is someone that I can be happy with, be myself with and not have any major complications.
Last night I met up with Neilus, one of my very good friends, who happens to be an ex-flame as well, or at least that's how I'll put it. He was going out with a girl, C, for a couple of years and basically in that time I backed away from my friendship with Neilus because I knew that C hated me and I didn't want to complicate things for him. But they broke up while I was in Australia and since I've been home we've met up a few times and it's interesting and confusing to find that the connection that we had 4 years ago is still very much there. I feel safe with him, and comfortable. In a way, Neilus is the person I am closest to, he's the person that I can be all of me with. I find it hard to let down my guard with people, to let them see everything, even with my best friends, I tend to keep something back. But with Neilus I never do. It's wierd, after 4 years to be able to go back to being just as close.
So far we've kissed a couple of times, last night being one of those times. He says he's not ready for more after C, even though he wishes he was, and while part of me wants to wait for him, I don't know if we'll ever both be in the same place at the same time. I can honestly see myself with Neilus in the future though.
I've also been on a couple of dates with a guy called Rob, who I only met a couple of weeks ago. He's a lovely guy and I could see myself falling for him, except he genuinely doesn't seem to have th time for a girlfriend at the moment, so it looks like it's going nowhere unless I hang around til next year when he's finished his masters in computer networking.
And then there's Roy - who I met six weeks before I went to Australia, who I spent 9 months pining after while I was there, and who broke my heart when I came home, well I basically got down and dirty in his parent's kitchen with him last week...and I haven't heard from the prick since.
At the moment either celibacy or lesbianism is looking like the best option!