(no subject)
I know i've been M.I.A. lately.
sorry.
oh well.
i've been busy with work, my mom, and going out every day practically.. too many good drum and bass dj's in town. I can't help it.
the insane drama continues with the DJ. This weekend, we attended a party... Not together, i met him there due to the goth/fetish fashion show i was modelling in (see pictures lower)... the night was alright, he greeted me warmly when i got there.. but then it was like i wasn't really there, standing next to him for the next couple hours. He only noticed me when i wasn't there, as i went outside for a smoke. When i came back, he demanded to know where i'd been... whatever.
the worst part came around 3am... he was "flirting" with a girl... i say "flirting" loosely as it was more affectionate touching... A slight touch of her stomach, a stroke/caress of her cheek... That last touch is what sent me overboard.
i literally felt like i'd been stabbed in the heart. I hurt physically from it... I turned around and walked away so fast, i almost knocked over his friend. His friend chased after me, stating how asshole-ish and wrong it was of him to do something like that in front of me...
at this point, i realize that i thought i didnt care much anymore but i was wrong. i have felt physically ill from it. the picture is burned into my brain.
i never thought i cared that much.
i later on went back to his general vicinity, as i was with his friend, dancing away. his friend left, leaving on me and the dj standing next to each other. he tried to touch me, when i grabbed his arm and screamed "dont touch me". of course, which generated much attitude from him towards me. honestly, i dont think he realizes that he hurt me.
at the end of the night, 5 am of course, when i was saying bye to jeff, the dj decided he would say bye and talk to me, requesting that i phone him tomorrow... ok, ill try and make things cool.
by today, ive decided that pehaps i need to just stay away from him, because whether he does it subconsciously or on purpose, he hurts me.. deeply.
so for the time being, i need to remove myself from him. not even friends.
i just dont know.
on a brighter note, here are pictures from Dark Vanity 3, the fashion show i modeled in. Please, no laughing.
i am the only junglist goth/fetish/cyber model in the world. I win.
yes, that is me. with my eyes closed of course. way to go.
fabulous women in Erin's wonderful Dark Destiny Designs.
me, with my eyes closed AGAIN.
Sara, Me, Andrew! People i havent seen in a year! wait, i see myself every day. oops
Erin (the designer) and I.
let's talk about the back of my top. Four straps across the back FUCKING HOT.
i wish i had a back shot.
who wouldnt want a chenille shrug sweater? i know i do... its soft. And black. That's what im talking about. BLACK
yes, a clear corset with glow sticks. It needs to be mine...
the goth in me wants a corset... the junglist in me is smacking her.
The FAB-U-LOUS Miss Nikki, oh how i love thee.
and i will run my hand up your slit one day.
more strappy backness on this shirt. BRILLIANT.
and i love her hair.
no you do not get to laugh at me.
sorry.
oh well.
i've been busy with work, my mom, and going out every day practically.. too many good drum and bass dj's in town. I can't help it.
the insane drama continues with the DJ. This weekend, we attended a party... Not together, i met him there due to the goth/fetish fashion show i was modelling in (see pictures lower)... the night was alright, he greeted me warmly when i got there.. but then it was like i wasn't really there, standing next to him for the next couple hours. He only noticed me when i wasn't there, as i went outside for a smoke. When i came back, he demanded to know where i'd been... whatever.
the worst part came around 3am... he was "flirting" with a girl... i say "flirting" loosely as it was more affectionate touching... A slight touch of her stomach, a stroke/caress of her cheek... That last touch is what sent me overboard.
i literally felt like i'd been stabbed in the heart. I hurt physically from it... I turned around and walked away so fast, i almost knocked over his friend. His friend chased after me, stating how asshole-ish and wrong it was of him to do something like that in front of me...
at this point, i realize that i thought i didnt care much anymore but i was wrong. i have felt physically ill from it. the picture is burned into my brain.
i never thought i cared that much.
i later on went back to his general vicinity, as i was with his friend, dancing away. his friend left, leaving on me and the dj standing next to each other. he tried to touch me, when i grabbed his arm and screamed "dont touch me". of course, which generated much attitude from him towards me. honestly, i dont think he realizes that he hurt me.
at the end of the night, 5 am of course, when i was saying bye to jeff, the dj decided he would say bye and talk to me, requesting that i phone him tomorrow... ok, ill try and make things cool.
by today, ive decided that pehaps i need to just stay away from him, because whether he does it subconsciously or on purpose, he hurts me.. deeply.
so for the time being, i need to remove myself from him. not even friends.
i just dont know.
on a brighter note, here are pictures from Dark Vanity 3, the fashion show i modeled in. Please, no laughing.
i am the only junglist goth/fetish/cyber model in the world. I win.
yes, that is me. with my eyes closed of course. way to go.
fabulous women in Erin's wonderful Dark Destiny Designs.
me, with my eyes closed AGAIN.
Sara, Me, Andrew! People i havent seen in a year! wait, i see myself every day. oops
Erin (the designer) and I.
let's talk about the back of my top. Four straps across the back FUCKING HOT.
i wish i had a back shot.
who wouldnt want a chenille shrug sweater? i know i do... its soft. And black. That's what im talking about. BLACK
yes, a clear corset with glow sticks. It needs to be mine...
the goth in me wants a corset... the junglist in me is smacking her.
The FAB-U-LOUS Miss Nikki, oh how i love thee.
and i will run my hand up your slit one day.
more strappy backness on this shirt. BRILLIANT.
and i love her hair.
no you do not get to laugh at me.